Ideally, parents desire to provide what their children would think of as a safe haven. At the same time, disagreements and arguments from time to time will occur inside the home, while hostilities and uncertain conditions seem to prevail outside. What can moms and dads do to offer a sense of security and family-unit cohesiveness? We invite you to read on for some ideas.Dr. James Dobson Family Institute
Day 1
Scriptures: Hebrews 13:4, Joshua 24:14-15, 1 Timothy 5:8
Making the Most of Marriage
“Marriage should be honored by all.” (Hebrews 13:4)
Daniel and Debbie fell deeply in love and married eight years ago. About five years later, however, they found themselves drifting apart. Their hectic schedules and the responsibilities of raising a family had stolen the joy from their relationship. Equally disturbing was the fact that their two young children were becoming increasingly irritable and anxious.
Both parents realized that a change was needed. They committed to each other that they would go on a “date” together every Sunday, even if it was something as simple as relaxing over a cup of coffee at the mall. Gradually, those weekly dates made a difference. Daniel and Debbie began to talk, to enjoy each other again, and to spend more moments together in the Word and in prayer. At the same time, the attitude of their children improved dramatically.
Granting love and attention to your kids goes a long way toward establishing a stable atmosphere at home. But the best way to foster security in young hearts and minds is to cultivate your relationship with your spouse. When children see, close-up, your ironclad commitment to each other—as well as your unshakable faith in Jesus Christ—they’ll begin to develop a sense of assurance about their own future that is likely to stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Questions for Today…
- Is your marriage solid at the core? What can you do to improve it?
- Are you demonstrating love and respect for each other?
- Do your kids know how much your marriage means to you?
Prayer . . .
Father, You know how we are formed. You understand that we are weak and made of dust. For the sake of our children, Father, and for the sake of Your holy name, strengthen the bond between us as husband and wife. Amen.
Day 2
Scriptures: Matthew 7:25, Psalms 128:3-4, Isaiah 26:4
We’ll Be There
“The winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” (Matthew 7:25)
When you spoke your marriage vows to your spouse and committed yourself to loving and caring for that person for the rest of your life, you made a holy promise to your husband or wife, as well as to the Lord. You may not have realized then that you were also making a commitment to a few special people who weren’t even in the church that day—your children.
When fears and troubles threaten to overwhelm your sons and daughters, they will need to be able to hang on to the rock that is your marriage relationship. Security for children is rooted almost entirely in their parents. For the sake of your marriage and your children, you might want to adopt a Bill and Gloria Gaither tune, “We’ll Be There,” as the theme song for your family. The lyrics read, in part: “We’ll be there…when you need us to hold you tight…when…you’re scared of the dark…when you dream your first dreams…when you stand or you fall…when you go on a date, and you’re out too late, and you quietly slip up the stairs.… You can count on it. We’ll be there.”
As described in Scripture, the winds will blow and beat (Matthew 7:25) against the house that is your marriage. Yet if you keep your holy commitment and depend on the truth and power of God’s Word, your “house” will stand firm, providing a lasting haven for your family.
Questions for Today . . .
- Are your kids observing anything at home that makes them insecure?
- What more can you do to make each other and your family feel secure?
Prayer . . .
Lord Jesus, we do want to have a marriage that everyone in our family can depend on. Help us to take the commitment of marriage seriously, ever relying on Your Spirit and Word to provide the holy foundation for our lives. Amen.
Day 3
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:13, Romans 12:18, Romans 14:19
Live in Peace
“Live in peace with each other.” (1 Thessalonians 5:13)
Kellie, a sensitive six-year-old, enters the kitchen and discovers her parents arguing. “You don’t care about me!” her red-faced mother shouts at her father, who stands in the corner with his arms crossed. “Every time I ask you to do something you make an excuse. Marrying you was a big mistake!” “Mistakes can be fixed,” the father snaps back. “I never asked for a marriage like this!” Now upset herself, Kellie runs to her bedroom and covers her head with a pillow.
We all know that conflict is inevitable in marriage. But how often do we pause to consider the impact of our battles on others? Even when the combatants make up, the fallout of harsh words or acts can linger not only between Mom and Dad, but also in the minds of their kids.
Imagine how you would feel if you were suddenly aware of conflict between God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. It would be a devastating moment, one that would shake the foundations of your faith. That’s how kids feel about ever-present strife between parents. We urge you to “live in peace with each other” and make the most of your relationship as husband and wife—for your own sake, and for the sake of sons and daughters who depend on you to provide a nurturing environment at home.
Questions for Today . . .
- Do you argue in front of your children?
- How does it seem to affect them?
- What can you do to provide a more nurturing atmosphere for your kids?
Prayer . . .
O Lord, how we sometimes struggle to live in peace with each other! Show us the hurtful impact of our angry words and deeds, and help us to bring a holy unity to our marriage and family as we seek to know and follow You. Amen.