No Offense

Scriptures: James 1:19-26, Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 19:11, Romans 8:1

An Outrage Economy 

It seems like all it takes to be outraged or offended is a quick scroll on social media. We see it throughout our feeds—friends fighting on Facebook, controversial news headlines, and families not speaking because of something someone posted.

And the truth is, outrage sells. Polarizing headlines get more clicks, so news outlets keep writing them. Cancel culture gets people talking, and that funds advertising revenue. 

So, what is it about outrage that keeps us engaged? 

We may not easily admit it, but many of us like being angry. We may not enjoy up-close conflict, but we often like taking a stance or choosing a side. 

As Christians, we sometimes even label our anger as “righteous,” excusing it when we think it’s for a good cause. And while righteous anger is a biblical concept, it’s worth asking ourselves: Is this anger of mine actually righteous, or is it a just an excuse for me to prove I’m right? 

Look at what James 1:19-20 NIV says: 

… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 

Some anger is good. When something hurts one of God’s kids, we should absolutely get angry. But that anger needs to lead to acts of love and compassion—not pride and division.

 Ultimately, godly anger prompts us to do something to help. Human anger prompts us to do something that hurts. 

So let’s think about our outrage for second. Is it possible that our anger is often fueled by pride? 

Because here’s the thing about anger: It often convinces us we’re right. And if we’re right, that means they’re wrong. And if they’re wrong, then we win. And that sense of winning—being on the right side or praising ourselves for our good behavior—really fuels our pride.

And like Proverbs tells us many times, pride always goes before destruction. 

So how do we respond to an outrage economy? How do we live as unoffendable people in a culture that profits and thrives on offense? 

James gives us some more good advice: 

Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:21 NIV

Humbly accepting and living from the Word gives us the peace and the power to be different from the world. But it’s not just knowing Scripture—it’s doing what it says. 

So over the next few days, we’ll explore why we get angry, what we can do with our anger, and how we can become unoffendable. Today, spend some time thinking about these questions:    

• Is my anger most often fueled by righteousness or my desire to be right?    
• Is my anger helping others or hurting others?    
• How often is pride the source of my anger? 

Pray: God, thank You that through Christ, there is no condemnation. Help me fully receive Your grace and mercy so that I can extend it to others. Reveal to me any areas in my life where I am harboring unrighteous anger, and help me lay it at Your feet. Purify me of anything that isn’t pleasing to You, and help me humbly accept and live from Your Word. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Luke 22:31-34, John 8:1-11, Ephesians 2:4-10

How Can We Let Go of Anger and Offense? 

Many of us are carrying offenses like accessories, not even realizing that they’re weighing us down. So how do we let go of our anger, our offense, or our frustration in a healthy way? 

1. Lower your expectations of others. 
2. Raise your gratitude for God’s grace. 

It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Let’s explore these two things a little more. 

Jesus was never shocked by sin, yet we often are. We tend to point fingers, cast judgment, and get angry, but Jesus simply showed up, listened well, and offered truth and grace. 

As Jesus neared the end of His life, He knew that Peter would deny Him three different times. Peter refused to believe this, saying that he would never deny Jesus. But Jesus, knowing full well that betrayal was coming, gives this beautiful instruction to Peter: 

“… I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32 NLT

Jesus wasn’t surprised by Peter’s actions nor offended at the pain they’d cause Him. Instead, He called him to greatness after his repentance. 

We can choose to give others that same gift. When someone hurts us or wrongs us, it’s easy to be offended. But how much better would it be to extend grace instead?  

We see another example of this with the woman who was caught in adultery in John chapter eight. The religious leaders wanted to stone her, but Jesus offers her mercy. He asks for anyone without sin to cast the first stone, and slowly, everyone walks away but Him. 

Often, we think that holding on to offense gives us power. We like being in the position to throw the stone, hurl the insult, or have the self-righteous opinion. But the truth is, like the woman, we’re all in desperate need of grace. 

It’s only by grace that we’ve been saved and rescued, so it only makes sense that we should extend that same mercy to those who have wronged us. 

We have options. We can keep holding onto offenses that keep us bitter and keep others hostage. Or we can choose to lay them down, remember grace, and find freedom. 

Pray: God, thank You for giving us undeserved grace. Help me remember and appreciate Your grace so that I can freely give it to others. I lay down the offenses I’ve been carrying, and I ask for healing instead. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: John 10:10, Ephesians 4:21-26, Micah 6:8, Matthew 5:43-47

An Anger Problem

The past two days, we’ve talked about our anger problem. But why do we get so angry? Why is it so hard to let go of offenses? 

There’s no easy, one-size-fits-all answer because anger has many sources. Sometimes anger is an indicator of a bigger problem. And in that case, it’s wise to get help from a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. 

But let’s take a look at the collective anger we’re experiencing in culture. Why are most of us so offended all the time? 

Part of it is that our anger is now publicly documented. People used to get angry and move on. Now, people post on social media when they’re angry, which fuels more outrage. 

We also have to remember that we have a real enemy whose mission is to steal, kill, and destroy. And our human anger feeds right into that plan. 

Now remember: Anger itself is just an emotion—not a sin. But what we do with that anger can become a problem. In fact, here are three ways our anger can lead to destruction. 

1. It divides us. We’ve all been there. You see a relative or a close friend share something you disagree with, and you’re immediately triggered. Your blood is boiling, and your gut reaction is to retaliate, respond harshly, or unfriend them altogether. But here’s the thing: A divided world needs a unified church. We need one another. And if we shut out people we disagree with, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to learn, grow, and share God’s love. 
2. It distracts us. Our anger can sometimes distract us with earthly concerns instead of eternal matters. That doesn’t mean we ignore the things Jesus cares about or passively ignore injustices that hurt God’s kids. But it does mean that we can’t allow our anger to keep us from loving like Jesus. 
3. It discredits us. When we’re constantly angry, people won’t see the love of Jesus in us. Yes, sometimes Jesus got angry. But He was known for His love, not for His anger. We’re not called to be right. We’re called to love. So let’s not discredit our testimony by confirming the idea that Christians are hypocritical, judgmental, or bitter. 

Let’s let go of the anger that keeps us captive. And instead, let’s be like Christ, who didn’t let His anger lead to sin. His love was powerful enough to cover both the oppressed and the oppressor. And we’re called to do the same—to right wrongs without writing people off and to seek justice while also loving mercy. 

Pray: God, I don’t want my anger to divide, distract, or discredit my ability to show Your love to others. Show me any areas where my anger has become a problem, and humble me. Help me be known for my love, not my anger. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:26-27, Matthew 5:23-24, Matthew 5:23-24, James 1:19-21, Ephesians 4:31-32

Healing or Hurtful? 

It’s tempting to ignore our anger all together, believing that good Christians aren’t supposed to get angry. But there are several issues with that strategy. First of all, God gave us the emotion of anger, and anger itself isn’t a problem. Secondly, ignoring anger doesn’t make it go away. 

In fact, hiding our anger can often lead to bitterness, resentment, or cynicism—none of which help us become more like Christ. 

On the other end of the spectrum, many of us may give in to our anger, exploding or yelling at others because of our personal pain. 

Neither response is wise. 

The thing is, anger can actually be a very useful emotion when managed correctly. Anger indicates when we need to right wrongs, stand up for ourselves and others, and correct a problem. In fact, anger can also be the catalyst to healing and restoration in relationships. 

Look at what Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV says about that: 

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 

This encourages us that the day of our hurt should also be the day of our healing. That means we’ll need to use our anger to fuel action—not feed a grudge. 

So how can we diffuse our anger in a life-giving way?  

1. Acknowledge the anger you’re feeling. Take a deep breath. Before saying anything you regret, take a moment to pause and consider why you’re angry. Has someone crossed a boundary you’d like to protect? Has someone hurt a person you love and care about? Is there an injustice that needs to be corrected? If so, don’t ruminate about it. Go do something about it. Have a conversation, and fight for healing despite your hurt feelings.  
2. Pray about your anger. Ask the Holy Spirit for self-control, a sound mind, and a calm, forgiving attitude. Ask God to reveal if there’s any part of the anger you can own, or if there’s any action you need to take.  
3. Seek restoration and reconciliation. If you get angry with someone, the same day of the offense should be the same day of forgiveness. Don’t wait until tomorrow to extend the grace you can give today. 

Anger is inevitable, but we don’t have to be afraid or ashamed of it. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. So let’s be people who react slowly, apologize early, and forgive easily, so that we can lead with love.

Pray: God, thank You for giving us the emotion of anger. When I feel anger coming on, give me the wisdom to pause and bring it to You. Help me be slow to speak and quick to listen. Give me self-control, and help me handle my anger in a way that honors You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

*Please note: If you’re experiencing deep hurt or trauma, or if you’re in a situation where seeking reconciliation would be dangerous, consider seeking out a Christian counselor. 

Scriptures: James 1:19-21, Ephesians 4:29-32, Psalms 103:8-14

Watch Your Mouth

Have you ever blurted something out in a moment of anger that you instantly wished you could take back? 

It happens to everyone at some point, which is probably why James advises us to: 

… be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry … James 1:19 NIV

From the moment we get angry, our brain reacts by firing up our amygdala, which is the fight-or-flight part of the brain. From there, the body starts releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This shuts down the more rational prefrontal cortex, meaning that we aren’t thinking as clearly when we’re angry. 

So it’s no wonder our anger often gets the best of us. But there’s hope! If we can be slow to anger, we can also be slow to respond. And if we train ourselves to be curious instead of confrontational, we can shut down some of that anger before it starts. 

When you feel anger coming on, try asking questions instead of drawing conclusions. Don’t assume you know someone’s intentions, but listen to understand their perspective. 

And if you feel the anger boiling over, take a second to pause and excuse yourself before you say something hurtful. 

Anger can be so dangerous when we react quickly, responding to our hurt with hurtful words. But Ephesians 4:29 NIV reminds us: 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up … 

Even in anger, we’re called to build one another up, not tear one another down. Paul goes on to write: 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 NIV

It’s hard to be compassionate and angry at the same time. So when you find yourself overcome with anger, ask God to give you compassion. Struggling to do that? Remember how gracious God has been to you. 

Scripture reminds us that God doesn’t treat us as we deserve, but He extends grace. His mercies are new every morning. He never runs out of patience with us. 

It’s difficult to harbor anger against someone else when we remember how much we’ve been forgiven through Christ. 

Pray: God, thank You for being slow to get angry with us. Thank You for your grace, love, and compassion, and help me extend Your love to others today, even when I’m angry or frustrated. In Jesus’ name, amen.  

Scriptures: Luke 10:38-42, 1 Corinthians 8:1-3, Philippians 2:1-3, 2 Corinthians 12:5-10, Proverbs 11:2

Delight in Being Wrong 

Most of us relish being right. But what if we need to learn to delight in being wrong? 

Think about it. When we’re convinced that our perspective is right, we’re not open to listening to others or learning from others. But we often grow the most when faced with new information or new points of view.

We see this play out in Luke 10 when Jesus visits Mary and Martha. Martha is busy cleaning, cooking, and preparing for their visit with the Savior of the world. Meanwhile, her sister Mary gives Jesus her undivided attention, listening to Him and spending time with Him—not helping with the preparations. 

Martha is pretty irritated, and soon enough, she confronts Jesus about this, saying: 

… “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Luke 10:40 NIV 

Martha is convinced she’s right, and her anger backs her up. After all, she’s been doing all the work, and Mary is just sitting around. Surely Jesus will give her the justice she deserves and rebuke Mary, right? 

Wrong. 

Jesus looks at Martha and replies: 

“Martha, Martha … you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 NIV

In her anger, Martha didn’t even recognize that she was wrong. She was worked up about something that didn’t really matter, while the person she was angry at was doing the right thing. 

Often, the same is true for us. 

We convince ourselves that we’re right and they’re wrong, so we’re better and they need to know it. But our perspective is often incomplete. 

When we take some time to truly listen to others and listen to God, we might discover that we’re not actually right—or maybe it’s not as black and white as we thought. 

And when confronted with that new information, we have a choice. We can get even angrier that we were wrong. Or we can delight in being wrong, choosing to be thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow.

So the next time you come across a view that you disagree with, adopt a growth mindset. Instead of reacting in anger or boosting your pride, consider why someone else has that perspective. 

Listening to understand may not change your mind, but it can expand your heart. So instead of dismissing or criticizing someone’s view, choose to show empathy and delight in the fact that we don’t always know whether we’re right, but we can always choose to show love.

Pray: God, thank You for giving us all such unique perspectives. We need one another. Show me any areas where I’ve allowed my pride to blind me, and give me greater humility and empathy for others. Help me choose to have a growth perspective, and give me the wisdom to delight when I’ve been wrong so that I can rely more on You and others. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 10:2-3, John 13:34-35, 1 Corinthians 13, Proverbs 19:11

Living with No Offense

In this life, there will always be something to be offended about. Whether it’s a divisive news headline, a differing opinion, or a minor traffic incident, we’ll probably have a million reasons to take offense each day. 

But as Pastor Craig often says, “Being offended is inevitable. Living offended is a choice.” 

Think about the last time you took offense at something. Did it make your life better? Or did it make you bitter? 

Here’s the thing: A heart filled with anger won’t produce a life filled with peace.

And as we talked about on day one, sometimes our anger is really just a result of our pride. When that happens, we need to repent and remember that Jesus didn’t call us to be right—He called us to love. That doesn’t mean we ignore God’s truth or avoid forming opinions. But it does mean that we choose to be known for our love, not for our stances.

It’s easy to think that the world has become more divided than ever, making it hard to live as unoffendable people. But there have always been reasons to take offense, and Jesus’ disciples were no exception. 

Jesus chose 12 disciples from wildly different backgrounds, professions, and political views, and they loved one another. Sure, they had their disagreements—like when they argued about who would be the greatest or most important—but they stayed unified around their mission despite their differing opinions. 

Matthew even points this out when he describes Jesus calling His disciples. He makes sure to note his own occupation—tax collector—and calls Simon “the Zealot.” 

Simon, as a Zealot, would have been part of a group that desperately wanted to overthrow the Roman government. Meanwhile, Matthew worked for the government. Despite those very different positions, these men were friends. They served together. They ate together. They did life together. 

We can learn from their example. We don’t have to agree on everything to be loving. And choosing to put aside our differences allows us to make a difference. 

So, what grudges do you need to let go of? 

What offenses do you need to lay down? 

What anger can you release? 

Every minute you spend being angry is a minute of joy and peace you lose. So it’s time to surrender. And it’s time to live with No Offense.

Pray: God, help me see others the way You do. Reveal to me any offenses or anger I need to release, and help me surrender them fully to You. I don’t want to carry offense, anger, rage, or bitterness anymore. Instead, fill me with more of Your joy, peace, and love. In Jesus’ name, amen.