Neighborology: Living Out Christ’s Compassion

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 7:2-6, Deuteronomy 7:25-26, Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16, Mark 14:36

Being Made New 

Really caring about other people is hard work. It is beyond challenging. This is true for me and, I believe, for all of us. That is, until we become more like Jesus through spiritual re­generation and transformation. Regeneration, or being made new, means that we turn over to God all dependence or alle­giance we have to people, places, or things. We submit to God all addictions, habits, or attempts to please people instead of Him. This process of transformation is God leading a holy war in our lives, as He did in Deuteronomy 7, where anything belonging to the opposing gods must be totally destroyed (v. 2–6; 25–26). Re­generation, transformation, and renewal, then, have to do with who is in charge of our lives. It means that we must please God above all others. 

Personally, I have a prideful hunger to be appreciated. I have been a people pleaser most of my life. As a result, I am in a continual process of allowing God to be the focus of who I am and what I do—moving beyond just knowing about Christ to knowing Him personally and knowing that I am loved by Him unconditionally. It is also important for people pleasers like me to spend quality time with God. 

Jesus often took time out to spend time with His Father. He often retreated to a quiet place (see Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16). What set Jesus apart was His intimacy with God, which denoted a close, loving and trusting relationship with the one He called “Abba” (Mark 14:36). Jesus was a person of prayer. The busier He got, the more He turned to God in prayer. Why? Because He knew God! He understood God as a loving Father whose main interest was to love, teach, and heal His people. 

To know God is to have the same relationship with Him as Christ does. The difference is that we are sinful and need forgiveness. Biblical counselor Larry Crabb states in his book Encouragement: The Key to Caring that sometimes he is afraid of God and expects anger. “As I await the pronouncement of my well-deserved rejection, I hear His loving words and see His loving smile. And I am eternally encouraged for He has spoken from His love to my fear.” The biblical truth is that God loves us; and although we—in our sinful nature—are worthy of rejection, He has forgiven us and adopted us as His children.

Scriptures: Romans 7:15-20, Matthew 11:28-30

Finding Solitude 

Our relationship with Christ comes from His journey with us and our pilgrimage in life’s wilderness—climbing prover­bial mountains and learning to find joy and contentment as God transforms our lives. Even though God’s love for us has remained unchanged, our love for God often runs hot, cold, and lukewarm. 

This is certainly true for me. Like the apostle Paul, I of­ten don’t do the things I know I should be doing and do the things I should not be doing (see Rom. 7:15–20). At times, I have been fearful and frightened, feeling worthless or without value. I have felt alienated from people and from God: afraid to reach out and distrustful of those reaching in. This is why I must find more and more solitude with God—and also why I am so afraid of it. 

In his book Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life, the late Roman Catholic theologian Henri Nouwen describes how most of us fear being alone and, therefore, fear solitude. 

Our lifestyles are vehicles for anesthesia. Panic occurs when we have run out of distractions and are brought close to aloneness. The lonely, hurting, suffering people reach out to momentary, illusory experiences, self-deceits that say “now everything will be better.” People desire more and more receive less and less. We need a journey of the spiritual life. We must find the courage to enter into the desert of our own loneliness and by gentle and persistent efforts change it into a garden of solitude, from restless energies to a restful spirit, from outward cravings to inward searching. 

Yes, the process of discovering what Nouwen calls “entering the desert” is a risky one. It requires that we commit ourselves to that solitude where spiritual lives are formed. Out of this solitude, we find a new calmness of spirit, a freedom from old, negative, and locked-into patterns of feeling, thought, and action. This process uncovers the very being of our souls. It exposes us and makes us vulnerable to God Almighty. It makes us participate in becoming known by God. Acknowl­edging our sin, pain, and brokenness is part of true repentance and confession. Yet, as difficult as this process is, we don’t go through it alone; the Holy Spirit empowers us step-by-step to place our burdens on Him (see Matt. 11:28–30). And as we learn to care for ourselves, we are more able to care for and be good neighbors to others. 

Solitude also makes intimacy possible. We must, through solitude, empty ourselves of self and listen to what God is saying to us about making room for others. Yes, solitude is very much connected to our work as ministers of mercy! It deepens our affection for one another: we are free to love one another because God first loved us. In moving from loneli­ness to solitude, we are able to move from anxious reactions to loving responses as we are transformed by Christ and His forgiveness. True repentance comes from a Spirit-led desire to change. It sets us free and leads us to worship and service. This new freedom leads us from a lifestyle of caring less to a lifestyle of caring more, from hostility to hospitality.

Scriptures: Romans 5:6-8, Romans 13:8-14, Philippians 2:1-12, Matthew 20:25-28

Hosting 

Our freedom in Christ’s love is a commitment to serving others. While loneliness promotes hostility, anger, and fear, solitude makes us good hosts. According to theologian Henri Nouwen, “A good host is one who believes his guest is carrying a gift he wants to reveal to anyone who shows genuine interest. A good host shows encouragement, affirmation, and support and welcomes the contributions of others” (Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life). We are called upon to be hosts, providing hospitality and creating space for others. As followers of Christ, we offer safe plac­es where we can welcome strangers and where healing and growth can take place. 

I love the example of hospitality that Jesus provided us: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:6–8). Hospitality allows us, as Romans 13:14 says, to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ,” meaning that we have the mind of our Savior. We then turn our hostility into hospitality, putting away all antagonism and bitterness and making others better than ourselves (see Phil. 2:3). This change in attitude draws us away from old selfish patterns and leads us to imitate Christ. With this change, we are then aware of our neighbor’s needs and begin to love them as Christ loves us. Before my Christian conversion, if someone on the streets came up to me and asked for something to eat, I would be annoyed. Now, if a homeless person says they are hungry, I might offer my sandwich or a piece of fruit and, if I have time, will sit and talk with him. When we imitate Christ, we model His humility, submission, and service (see Phil. 2:1–12). The power of the Holy Spirit enables us to take action for God’s sake. Humility frees us to do the will of God. We become free from serving ourselves to serving others. In humility, we sub­mit ourselves to serve God and our neighbor without demanding anything in return. Submission allows us to value those whom God brings to us. Nouwen calls these people God’s gifts. 

I’m reminded of a church member who had plans to go out with some of his buddies. On his way to meet them, he came across a neighbor who was “down and out” and in need of help. The church member immediately contacted his friends to cancel and took his neighbor to the nearest Christian rescue mission. In the name of Jesus, he gave up the right to have his own way for the sake of someone else. 

In serving others, we seek to follow Christ’s example. He came not to be served but to serve (see Matt. 20:25–28). If you’re like me, saying “No” to helping others is easy. Learning to say “Yes” is a discipline that must be exercised. 

In The Spirit of the Disciplines, Christian philosopher Dallas Willard states that we “may also serve others to train ourselves away from arrogance, possessiveness, envy, resentment or covetousness. . . . service is undertaken as a discipline for the spiritual life.” That kind of attitude comes from a relationship with Christ. 

“We serve out of whispered promptings, divine urges” of the Spirit, says spiritual director Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline. All service is important. There is no measurement that distinguishes between small and large service. Those with servant hearts are content to serve in “hidden” ways, with no need for recognition. They serve for God’s honor and glory. Service to others requires a need for constant renewal. As God transforms us to become more like Jesus, we learn what it means to be clay in the hands of the Potter. 

We learn the meaning of the hymn, “Have Thine Own Way, Lord” by Adelaide A. Pollard: 

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! 

Thou art the potter, I am the clay. 

Mold me and make me after thy will, 

While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Scriptures: Matthew 22:35-40, James 1:2-4

Further Growth 

An auto accident in 1982 put my life on hold. I was in constant pain, unable to work, with no income and no idea what the future looked like. Suddenly, I was in the hands of the Potter, trusting, waiting, “yielded and still.” 

The spiritual growth I found in being yielded and still after my auto accident was not through the performance of religious rituals, but by developing a dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ. In the four years I was unable to work, I sought to strengthen that relationship through daily Scripture reading and prayer. The fruits of that experience were enormous. Before my accident, I had posted “no trespassing signs,” thinking I could prevent God from molding and shaping me according to His will. But this was foolish. The best action I could take was to willingly surrender to God. Looking back, I can see that God used this experience to mold me into His image. 

Around the same time, I began to have flashbacks of childhood trauma—a memory I had unconsciously buried to protect myself. Each time the flashbacks occurred, I attempted to bury the memories once again, but they continued to resurrect themselves. I felt so broken, and I could not fix myself. My brokenness was all for good. God was at work. By understanding God’s love and sovereignty and the limitations of my own timetable and agenda, I gained peace. But change took time and the power of the Holy Spirit. It required patient waiting. Similarly, God was waiting for me to pray for the work of the Spirit, to fill me with His presence, His thoughts, and His words. 

Speaking of this type of spiritual renewal, God’s love in us must be visible. If people don’t see in us a walk and a talk that reflects holiness, that is a good indication of where we are spiritually. God’s love is seen as we live it out. Our rela­tionship with Christ must have an impact on all our other relationships: spouse, children, friends, employees, and employers. There is no relationship that you and I can enter into that is not directly affected by our spiritual life in Christ. Servant hearts are shaped by our spiritual lives in Christ, and the result is our serving the world around us. When we study the Bible, we should have ears to hear what God is saying to us—words that mold us to be good neighbors. 

Spiritual renewal should make us more conscious of our relationship with God: how he cares for us and how we must care for others because of this loving relationship. This is what I call a “theology of caring.” This theological mindset is born from our personal pilgrimage involving a search for identity and the development of a healthy relationship with God the Father and Jesus Christ, His Son. 

It also involves developing a godly, obedient understanding of service and caring. Having this biblical theology of caring empowers us to live out the great command to love the Lord with all our hearts and to love our neighbors as ourselves (see Matt. 22:35–40). We who have servant hearts are molded and perfected as God changes us over time. 

The character building described in James 1:2–4 is essential for those whom God uses as His compassionate servants and good neighbors.

Scripture: Psalms 34:8

Becoming People of Compassion 

The character we need for caring is found in Jesus and the power of our resurrected Savior. We are then able to con­sciously and consistently model His love and do what does not come naturally, that is, minister selflessly, serve with compassion, seek the welfare of others, and love our enemies. 

Only by personally knowing Christ’s love and concern are we able to care for others. It is by His “breathing” in us that we are once and forever changed. We move higher and deeper in­to a meaningful relationship with Him, with His help. In this relationship, we know and enter into His care and compas­sion and become part of His incarnated ministry through us on Earth. His heart of compassion asks us to come alongside those in need. In his book The Search for Compassion: Spirituality and Ministry, theolo­gian Andrew Purves says, “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears.” He says that we need to be people of compassion who will not be too quick to take away pain but will have the spiritual and mental toughness to walk alongside another, sharing in their journey to the point where woundedness can be confronted. 

Compassion is a hands-on ministry that requires servant hearts. It demands love. Compassion is ministry without limits. It is evangelical, bringing persons to a place where they may “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps. 34:8). Purves writes: 

Compassion is the ministry of Jesus Christ by which he enters into another’s brokenness. . . . It means suffering with another. Compassion bridges the gap between social and pastoral ministry. Compassion demands a spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Our faith and our compassion are a biblical demonstration that Jesus is the Lord of our lives.

Scriptures: John 9:1-11, Matthew 6:5-8, Matthew 5:33-37, Luke 16:13, John 5:44, Matthew 21:28-31

Jesus Set Boundaries 

Our Savior protected Himself. He had far more stress, far more pressure, and far more responsibility than any of us; yet He remained relaxed, joyful, and generous with people. His ability to care for Himself wisely prevented Him from becoming overwhelmed or burning out. Jesus’ lifestyle is a model for us. While He showed us how to serve others, His spirit of love and self-control was evident. He did not allow people to use Him as a doormat. Jesus doesn’t call us to be doormats either. By observing His lifestyle, we can see how to be better neighbors with healthy boundaries. 

In His humanity, Jesus had limitations that He accepted in a relaxed way: like being in a human body that needed nourishment and rest and could only be in one place at a time; or like there being only twenty-four hours in a day. Jesus had personal priorities that He put over the needs of others—and He did so without feeling guilty. In order to care for Himself, He often separated Himself from people to be alone with God. Jesus’ lifestyle protected Him from burn-out and kept Him spiritually strong so that He could be merciful in His response to people, their needs, interruptions and crises. 

Jesus did not overextend or completely exhaust Himself before finally taking a break. Instead, He proactively invested in intimacy with His Father, which gave Him greater energy and focus. Because He understood the need for physical, emotional and spiritual rest, He never burned out. 

When people were demanding, He didn’t always do what they wanted Him to do. There were many people He did not help. And when He did help others, He expected them to do their part. For instance, the blind man had to walk a long way to get to the pool of Siloam to wash the mud out of his eyes (see John 9:7). These understandings teach us how to speak the truth in love and how to live within our personal limitations. 

Here are some examples of Jesus’ boundaries for us:

• Make time for personal prayer (Matt. 6:6). 
• Be honest and direct (Matt. 5:37). 
• Set priorities (Luke 16:13). 
• Please God, not people (John 5:44). 
• Obey God (Matt. 21:28–31). 

Jesus set boundaries. He visited, listened and healed—physically and spiritually. He calls us to do the same. He calls us to develop servant hearts and to be good neighbors.

Scriptures: Matthew 5:1-16, Luke 6:20-23, Luke 6:27-35

We Are Sent 

Our mission as believers includes reaching out to others. And by reaching out, more and more of our neighbors and colleagues will find their way to Christ (and their local church). 

We are always preparing for this mission of demonstrating biblical love to others—not as an “evangelism program,” but as a natural display of Christ’s love to others. Because we have relationships with unbelieving neighbors and those in and near our workplaces, we can easily invite them to home or work Bible studies and worship. And we should seek after our neighbor’s eternal good and be involved in friendly evangelism and blessing them in spiritual ways. 

The Scripture passages commonly known as the Beatitudes speak about our spiritual blessings in Christ (see Matt. 5:1–12; Luke 6:20–23): Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, blessed are the merciful, blessed are the pure in heart, blessed are the peacemakers, and blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness. Here Jesus describes the riches that belong to those who are His. The Beatitudes demonstrate that heavenly blessedness is the opposite of worldly desire for monetary wealth, merriment, abundance, etc. The Beatitudes describe our riches in Christ and what is possible to unbelievers too. 

But there are not only beatitudes, there are also “hospitalitudes.” Here is how Pat Ennis describes them in her book Practicing Hospitality (p. 237–238). 

[Blessed] are those who practice biblical hospitality. 

[Blessed] are those who “pursue the love of strangers.” 

[Blessed] are those who include people of all cultures on their guest lists. 

[Blessed] are those who develop hospitality management skills. 

[Blessed] are those who intentionally extend hospitality to “the others”—singles, widows, the grieving . . . and those experiencing food insecurity. 

[Blessed] are those whose homes are both a place of refuge and a center for evangelism. 

[Blessed] are those who do not become disillusioned in practicing biblical hospitality. 

[Blessed] are those who acknowledge that they are unable to practice biblical hospitality in their own strength, for by this means they learn that the Lord’s power overcomes their weaknesses and allows them to become vessels used for his honor and glory. 

This type of mindset and this kind of neighboring should be in our DNA. The “hospitalitudes” are merely a way of putting the joy of hospitality into action. They are a user-friendly way of showing daily that we have servant hearts. And every day is a day for hospitality. As neighbors, let us welcome the lonely, encourage those who are down, befriend the friendless and visit the sick. And let us show the world that we, the people of God, have servant hearts. 

Final Questions to Consider 

• What role has solitude played in your spiritual growth? How have you watered the “desert” of your soul? 
• How has God transformed your character? What was the experience like? 
• Try to remember an experience where God changed your hostility into hospitality. How was your heart transformed? What did this experience teach you? 
• How has God prepared you for good works? 
• Where are you serving Him? 
• What are the needs of that ministry? 
• How can you encourage others to participate?