Thrive: Discovering Joy in the Trenches of Military Life

Scripture: John 7:37-38

Is it Possible to Thrive?

Written by: April Griffin 

I remember the exact moment. My family and I had just endured another hard PCS. I was the new girl at a new duty station, feeling the loss of what once was and struggling to embrace change once again. 

Everything felt hard and everything in me wanted to run away from it all. 

Yet in the deepest, darkest, valley the Lord met me there. 

In my heartache, He whispered a message of hope. He had a plan for me in this new place, and just as the Lord had been faithful then, He would be faithful now. 

The Lord would return to me the joy that my heart so desperately craved, and with Jesus by my side, I knew I could THRIVE. 

It is out of my deepest valley; the Thrive video series came to life. 

We’ve gathered the stories of military wives from all seasons and branches, all united by the same mission: to share a message of hope for the military wife. In its complete form, Thrive is a video-based, Bible-centered small group curriculum. I am so excited to share a glimpse of the stories we have to share in this Bible reading plan. 

There have been many times we have sat in the loneliness of a new duty station, the devastation of a hard marriage, or felt the ache in our hearts over deployments, unmet dreams, and missed moments that we can never get back. 

Yet, there amid the trenches, we encountered Jesus with the hope of something more than just surviving the hard days of military wife life. 

Without any change in our circumstances, we encountered joy and life in abundance in the presence of God and the nourishment of His Word. 

Through His people, He loved and provided for us, reminding us that we are never alone. 

So, this Thrive video series was born out of our pain with the hope of meeting you in the midst of yours, and soon you’ll be able to share it with your community, too. 

There is so much more to life, military wife, and hidden in the Word of God is the treasure that is the truth about Jesus Christ. Through this reading plan, we pray that you encounter Him and, in doing so, you discover unspeakable joy. 

You are never alone, and we are so grateful to be a part of your military wife journey. We can’t wait to see you thrive!

Scriptures: Romans 8:18-30, Esther 4:14

God’s Grand Design

Written by: Jessica Parker

I never envisioned myself as a military wife. I had plans to stay put in my small hometown. I met my husband when we were both in college and knew from the start that God was leading him to join the Army. After we had been married for four years, we moved eighteen hours away from family and everything we had ever known to the middle (of what seemed like) nowhere.

Around the time we moved, we were also struggling with infertility. I spent two years questioning why we were so far from family and why we were going through such a literal barren time.

But God had prepared a place for us there. He provided us with a wonderful home, a beautiful church community, and many amazing friendships. I joined a local Bible study, and God used that study to draw me closer to Him. It was the first time in my life that I had a daily prayer life. God used that time to teach me to pray and show me that with Him, I could not only survive but thrive in a place I was uncomfortable with. Those years transformed my relationship with God and set the foundation for the continual growth I have seen today.

I can now see God’s hand in every aspect of that move. In the same way, I love reading and seeing God’s sovereignty and power throughout the book of Esther. Esther’s story exemplifies God’s divine guidance and care over our lives. Esther’s circumstances may have seemed coincidental; however, they were part of God’s grand design. Esther found herself in an unexpected place, wondering why God had uprooted her and placed her there. However, God, again, did the miraculous and saved the Israelites through Esther.

I am sure she was just as confused about her circumstances and God’s plan as I was. But she and I (and YOU) were made “for such a time as this.” Although we may question circumstances in our lives, we must have faith that God is in control, working through both the pleasant and difficult times so that we can serve Him wholeheartedly.

Once we got settled after our move, I started a new job that, through a series of events, led me to a fertility specialist who helped us get pregnant with our first child. It would be easy to say that those events were merely coincidence, but I know God had it all planned before we knew we were moving.

God is always at work. God has been working quietly and patiently throughout your life as well. The events that have come together for good are not mere coincidence; they result from Jesus’s sovereign control throughout your life.

Where you are is not a coincidence. I believe God has a grand design for us all.

How do you discover joy in the trenches of military life?

Look for God’s hand at work in your life, and trust that God will be faithful to complete His good work in and through you.

Scriptures: Luke 6:27-36, Isaiah 43:19

Looking Past the Fairy-Tale ImageWritten by: Rhonda Butterfield

As little girls, we are presented with this image of the prince coming and sweeping the princess off her feet. They fall in love and live happily ever after.

This fairy-tale image is easy to believe, leading to unrealistic expectations. Somehow, this man is meant to complete us, and our marriage will be effortless. But that “becoming one” thing talked about in Genesis is not easy.

My own “fairy-tale image” was shattered into pieces when my husband returned from another deployment and confessed to 13 years of unfaithfulness and pornography addiction. I was broken, filled with anger and grief. Many have said, “I could never forgive that,” and I once believed the same. But when faced with the choice of leaving or staying, I felt God urging me to choose love and forgiveness.

*Disclaimer: Every situation is different. You are not expected to stay in a relationship of abuse or continual betrayal. Seek God and wise counsel.

I chose to forgive and go on a journey I wasn’t sure would end well. Trusting God and giving my husband time to make that choice also required patience. Choosing to forgive meant making daily choices, moment-by-moment choices, to stay and let grace and love win in the midst of the world telling me to leave. I chose true love, not the fairy-tale love, but hard-core, real love – a love that looks different. Choosing God’s love meant a love that doesn’t list his wrongs again but finds the grit to keep going.

God showed me that making a list of sins that are better than others is easy for us to do. But Jesus says that hatred is like committing murder and lust is like adultery. Placing sins on a scale leads us to be the judge. But we all have sin in our hearts; that’s why we need a loving Savior. In Mark, there is a man consumed by demons and forced out of town. He didn’t wake up one day saying, I am going to become filled with demons.

No way!

Sin often starts with small choices that lead us further into darkness. In my husband’s lowest moment, my choice could pull him back or push him further into that dark hole. I chose to pull him back. I decided to forgive and love him as Christ loves me because his eternal salvation was ultimately more important.

In Isaiah, God reminds us that He is doing a new thing, so stop looking back at what was lost and instead embrace a new image. God’s image is about making us holy, not happy. Yes, happiness is there, but it’s not the main goal. It’s teaching us how to forgive and choose love so we can show the world how Christ loves the church. It’s not about my husband and I completing each other; it’s about God completing the work He began in us.

How do you discover joy in the trenches of military life?

By looking past the fairy-tale image and how the world defines love, instead embracing God’s image and seeking to view others through a Christ-centered lens.

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 31:1-8, Matthew 5:13-16, John 15:1-17

Don’t Wait for the Friend, Be One! Written by: Rachel Yorgey

Every day, I pass by a candle with the words, “I wish you lived next door.” It was a gift from one of my dearest friends—the one I met when our families were stationed in Italy. Oh, how I wish she did live next door—or at least in the same time zone.

Memories come rushing back. I remember sitting in her home while our kids ran around, making messes. I remember eating breakfast—and then lunch—she made for me because when my husband was gone, I wasn’t always taking care of myself the way I should have. Italy was beautiful, a dream duty station in many ways, but military life also brought hard days.

I remember it clearly—26 weeks pregnant, sitting on a plane, moving overseas to a place where I knew no one. We had no home yet, and no community was waiting for us. I felt lost, unsure of how I would make friends or find support as a new mom. The only thing I knew for certain was how to get to the hotel.

That first sleepless night, in the quiet of that unfamiliar space, God met me in my fear and reassured me of His presence. I am here. I’ll go with you. You are never alone.

Jesus was, and is, my best friend—the one who requires nothing, listens, and fills my soul with peace.

In time, I found friendships—deep, genuine, life-giving friendships. But first, I learned that His presence was enough.

Since then, with every PCS, I no longer worry about finding friends. I know that He is with me, always. And instead of searching for friendships, I focus on being a friend. Because when we share Jesus’ light and love, people will be drawn in.

So, military wife, be the one who invites someone over for coffee. Be the one who shows up with a meal when their spouse is away. Be the one who listens, who cares, who loves. We don’t have to do it for recognition, or to receive something in return, because we already have everything we need in Jesus.

Wherever we go, whoever we meet, one thing remains the same: Jesus, our first friend, our best friend. He never moves, never leaves, never lets go.

And that truth? That’s worth sharing.

How do you discover joy in the trenches of military life?

Jesus is the Lord of your life, but He’s also your friend. Remember the friendship you have with Jesus and intentionally invest in that relationship. By filling your cup with living water and allowing it to spill out onto others, you won’t have to wait for a friend but can be the friend.

Scriptures: Psalms 23:1-6, Psalms 46:1-11, Exodus 14:13-14

Battling Anxiety in the Midst of Deployment Written by: K’lee Reynolds

My husband and I met in the middle of a 15-month deployment. He was home for two weeks of leave before he would return to a harsh combat zone. Completely clueless, I took a risk, knowing he might never talk to me again. I gave him my number before he left. I spent the next 7 months getting to know the man I would spend the rest of my life with over broken phone calls, spotty internet connections, letters, and care packages. 

This would lead to marriage and then four more deployments to follow, with a lot of “gone” in between. This allowed room, LOTS OF ROOM, for the enemy to fill me with fear and doubt early on in our relationship. Being “gone” and navigating a long-distance relationship was the only thing we knew in our relationship. It was HARD. 

Have you been there, military wife? 

Fearing for your husband’s safety, fearing for your marriage, consumed and anxious over so many things outside your control? Has there been lots of room for the enemy to fill your mind with lies? I encourage you to cling tight to Jesus, who is always there, even when your husband can’t be. 

The very definition of courage is to have strength in the face of pain or grief. The Lord doesn’t promise us that there won’t be pain and suffering, yet with the Holy Spirit’s help, there can be courage that overflows from the love and grace we experience in a real relationship with Jesus. So, we don’t have to be discouraged. We can have strength amid deployment, even on the hardest days. 

When that bedroom is dark, cold, and lonely, start praying. Cry out to Jesus. Begin to devour the word of God and learn how much He loves you and how the creator of heaven and earth sits with you in every single moment. He sits with you, carries you, and even cries with you. He picks you up through the dark valley of deployment and carries you through it. It may be challenging. It may be messy, but the Lord will fight for you. He will fight for your military marriage. You just have to let go and let Him. 

How do you discover joy in the trenches of military life?

By clinging to Jesus and not giving the enemy a foothold. Praying and soaking in the truth of scripture are active weapons to fight the enemy’s tactics.

Scriptures: John 1:1-18, John 10:7-18

Discovering Joy in the TrenchesWritten by: Ashlee Beasley 

As I sit back and consider all I’ve endured as a military wife, it could be easy to ask, “Where was the joy?” 

I’ve grieved so many things; I’ve lost people, friendships, and dreams. My husband has endured things I can never understand or imagine. 

After all, the military exists because evil exists, and there is so much about our life and circumstances as military wives that was never intended for us, but here we are in the trenches. 

But I’ve discovered that joy is not found in the escape from the trenches, it’s found in following the light inside of them. 

So many of us are looking for relief from the trials of military life, and we’re desperately trying to climb out of the trench, but we fail and exhaust ourselves as we watch our fingers slip down its dirty edges only to find we’ve made no progress. 

The only way out is through them, military wife, and there’s only one light source that will lead us faithfully, and that is Jesus Christ himself. 

The presence of God will not abandon you in your trial, and the greatest source of joy is the rest that comes from the faithfulness of Jesus to you, even in the deepest trench. 

You are never and have never been alone.

God sees you, He is with you, and He has heard your call to Him for help. The life Jesus has for you is full of hope and abundance, so whatever it is you’ve been searching for, you can finally stop looking. 

Because the more you know Him, the more you begin to understand what it really means to thrive.