Scripture: Galatians 6:4

Comparison is a Thief.

Have you ever sat next to the mom at the baseball game who made homemade granola for her kids? Maybe she washed the kids’ clothes in organic detergent? Is her hair perfectly combed and her make-up flawless? Meanwhile, you sit across the way, haggard from lost sleep, having driven on two wheels from a long day’s work, with a lap full of McDonald’s for the kids’ post-game dinner. This has been me many, many times. And I often leave those situations wondering how she has it all together when I’m barely treading water. I’m often left comparing myself and all my perceived failures. There’s no joy in comparison. And where no joy is, no freedom lies.

It’s hard not to fall prey to comparison – comparison of physical appearances, accomplishments, marital status, bank accounts, or children’s behaviors. Comparison is a trap. There is no end-game in comparison. It always leaves us wanting more. How can we be full of joy and content with what God has done in our lives when we are busy comparing our situation to another’s? We can’t! Comparison is leaving too many in the body of Christ bound. Comparison often instills lack, less than, and emptiness. Yet, we know our God is the One of abundant and endless supply. 

So, if you find yourself struggling with comparison today, here are a few tips: 

• Be grateful! Think about what Paul says in Philippians 4:11-12; he writes, “… for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” Mommas, this is the secret! May we stop and reflect on the goodness of God. If you find yourself struggling to be content, be intentional – even if it feels flippant and cliché! Write down one thing you are grateful for each day and place it in a jar or box. Be intentional. Did you get a good parking space at work? Did your child get a good grade at school? Do you have a healthy body that permits you to walk or run? Do you have clothes to wear today? Do you have a church family? Do you have peace? The blessings of God are endless. Will you choose to see them today? 
• Worry about what God has put in front of you! Take a look at today’s Scripture – Galatians 6:4 . It teaches us to “stay in our lane.” We are to worry about our own work, the things we are doing in our lives, and how God is working things out for our good. Once we do this, Scripture promises us satisfaction! Learn to focus in your lane. The more you focus on your race, lane, calling, and children, the less distracted you’ll be by the blessings of others. 
• Grow in confidence! We must learn to be confident in what God says about us! We can’t allow our confidence to be based on what others say about us or where we perceive that we are failing. If we do so, our confidence will be fleeting and fickle. Instead, learn what the Word of God says about you and stand firmly on that! You are equipped, chosen, free, redeemed, grace-filled, hopeful, and so much more! 
• Rejoice when others are blessed! Moms, if you truly want to be free from the bondage of comparison, you must learn to rejoice when others are blessed! Rejoice in the blessings of new jobs, new babies, and new marriages – even when you are struggling or praying for your next blessing. Celebrate others’ victories. Our God is a God of more than enough! 

Always remember that comparison is the thief of joy, and you are set free in Christ!

Points to Ponder:

• How often do I compare myself to others? What effect does comparison have on me? How can I retrain my thought life so that I no longer compare my life to others?

Scripture: Philippians 4:6-8

Worry Won’t Win.

Have you read the studies that chart the rise of anxiety and depression diagnoses in the U.S. over the last 50 years? Some studies suggest it has, at minimum, doubled. Perhaps you have no formal diagnosis of anxiety or depression, but you are well-acquainted with anxious thoughts, racing hearts, panted breathing, immobilizing worry, and weighted emotions. Maybe you find yourself running through quicksand, trying to escape your emotions. Perhaps you frequently wake up thinking about challenges in your life that cause your heart to palpitate. Does fear drive your thoughts most of the day? Maybe you’ve tried all the things – counseling, spiritual armor, discipleship, prayer – even medication – and yet, you still can’t seem to get free. Today is your day. 

Let’s start with looking at the recipe for peace in our daily Scripture. 

• Don’t worry about anything. I know, I know. It’s easier said than done, but Scripture explicitly tells us not to worry about anything. The problem is – most of us have always worried! Our parents worried. Our grandparents before them worried. We have created a habit of worry. Will we have enough to pay the bills? Will they repossess the car? Will the kids be permanently harmed by the divorce? Will my broken heart ever mend? Romans 12:2 teaches us that we must renew our minds! We must train our thought-life to align with the Word of God, not the ways of the world or the way we’ve always thought. Worrying does not add anything to our situation; rather, it takes away from our capacity to experience the joy of the Lord. Take your thoughts captive. Here is the key: It’s intentional, daily training. If you are beginning to feel panicked or overwhelmed with a decision or challenge, stop and quote the Word of God, e.g. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I am a conqueror in Christ. I am the head and not the tail. My God shall supply all my needs. My God will not forsake me.Worry is a lie of the enemy – a strategy he uses to steal your peace. Counteract the attack with God’s truth. This takes practice. But listen, mom, you either take captive every thought and demand the enemy flee, or you live daily bound by his lies. 
• Pray about everything. In the most anxious moments of your life, you can take your cares to the Lord. You can cry out to the creator of Heaven and Earth. Pray without ceasing, day and night. As a single mom who lived in government housing and often robbed my kids’ piggy banks to get gas to make it to work, I know what it is to have nothing. I know what it is to feel hopeless, huddled on a bathroom floor, and suicidal. But the more I engaged in prayer – even when I didn’t feel like it, even when it felt useless – the more the power of God rose inside me. I became a prayer warrior. I warred and prayed in the Spirit at all times – day and night, night and day. I would NOT allow the enemy to steal my life. I had already lost so much. My children deserved more. Pray about old wounds of abuse. Pray about festering unforgiveness. Pray about rejection that has caused you to make poor choices. Bring it all before the Lord. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you; there is power there! 
• Tell God what you need. God knows the plans He has for us to give us a future and a hope. (Check out Jeremiah 29:11). But He also wants to hear from us. Tell God what is going on. Tell him what you need. Tell him your fears or worries about your finances, children, loneliness, etc. We often have not because we have often asked not. Be intentional in prayer about the things you need. This is God’s instruction in His word, and Jesus modeled this in the Lord’s prayer, e.g. give us this day, our daily bread. 
• Thank God for what he has already done. God has already delivered you time and time again from hardship, pain, obstacles, worry, and wounds. Remember all that He has already done for you, and thank Him for it. He is a faithful God who was faithful in past seasons and will be faithful in this season. Anxiety cannot take over when our minds are filled with gratitude for God’s provision. 

Moms, listen. Every enemy must bow at the name of Jesus. Every demon in Hell must go. Every tormenting thought cannot stand against the blood of Christ. Take control of worry via the word of the Lord and proclaim it aloud. 

Points to Ponder:

• Describe a time when you have felt the peace of God in your life. Was there an absence of challenges, or was the peace more of an internal thing? Why do you think that is so? 

Scripture: 1 Timothy 1:7

Fear is Not Your Portion.

Fear crept into my life at a very, very young age. I don’t remember my childhood without fear, quite frankly. Fear of the dark. Fear of dogs. Fear of drowning. My mother was killed when I was a toddler, and frequent sexual and physical abuse became part of my story. Those childhood traumas left fear, a familiar face that often came knocking at my door. Divorce. Death. Disappointment. Attacks from the enemy. They all lead to a war against fear. Fear is often silently strangling us. Yet, our Father in Heaven paid for us to have an abundant life free from fear, worry, and anxiety. There are three things that I learned to do to lay down fear and walk into the freedom Christ paid for me to have. 

1. Acknowledge what fear is. If fear didn’t come from the Lord, then who gave it to us? As Christians, we must understand that Satan gave us fear as a mere tactic to distract us from the plans the Lord has for us. His attempt is to destroy our lives, making us completely unfruitful for the Kingdom of God. He wants to steal every quality of life, kill our confidence, and destroy our hope. His plan is to render us useless and beaten up. His plan is to push us into giving up. He exacerbates the fear of our futures, the fears about our children, and the fears of permanent loneliness or rejection. We must see with our spiritual eyes, then realize we have the authority to dispel every fear with the power of Christ’s blood. Whom shall we fear? What can mere man do? What can the enemy do? He is defeated. 
2. Seek God until he takes away our fears. Look at what Psalms 34:4-5 says. “I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Keep pursuing freedom from fear, even when everything around you seems scary, hopeless, and endless. Keep asking God to deliver you from the fear that is being forced upon you. He is faithful to deliver. Seek the Lord. Remember the woman with the issue of blood? How desperate was she for her freedom and healing? 
3. Speak the truth. Speak truth over your fear, even when you don’t feel like it, even when it seems impossible, and even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Do you find yourself in an unexpected situation today? Are you fearful of your future? Your kid’s choices? Your finances? Your marriage? Your singleness? God’s word promises you victory, authority, and strength. 

Remember, mommas, the Lord has given you a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. Rise up and accept your portion from the Lord! As the song says – a sound mind for the spirit of fear! Start proclaiming that your mind will be in alignment with God’s word. 

Points to Ponder:

• What do you fear most? Why? What answers does God have in His word about fear?

Scripture: Romans 12:2

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…

We are presented with countless decisions each day. Where do we work or live? Where do we send the children to school? What do we cook for dinner? Who might our future spouse be? Where do we attend church? Do we join or lead the Bible study? Do we have the money for the trip? Is this a good friend to spend time with? Do I stop and get gas now or later? And for a single mom who is raising kiddos with little to no help and no one to bounce ideas off of, it can be even more overwhelming, particularly when you are faced with big decisions. Maybe you find yourself struggling to hear God’s voice and discern the right decisions. 

Here’s the good news. Our God is a god who speaks! He is a god of order. He cares about the things that concern you and the details of your life. Read on for some tips on finding clarity in decision-making. Indecisiveness should not be a bondage for the children of God! 

In order to know God’s will, we must listen. We must learn to let God transform our thought life, our patterns, and our habits so that we are walking in step with the Spirit of God and not distracted by the busyness and chaos of this world. Today’s Scripture teaches us that we must not conform to the ways of this world but intentionally renew our minds. We must form a habit of listening and renewing our thoughts to align with the truth of God’s word. This alignment will make it much easier to hear the voice of God. God begins to speak to those who are willing to listen, the ones willing to get quiet and still. He whispers a thought, a direction, a prompting into your spirit. We can begin to hear from the Lord when we get quiet and practice listening. 

Walk in obedience. Clarity comes when we do what we are created to do. Peace and freedom come when we are operating in sync with the instructions of the Lord through His word and the directive of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, we struggle with decision-making because we either don’t know God’s Word or refuse to obey it. However, a sense of purpose, clarity, peace, and fulfillment comes when we walk in obedience to the Lord. Chains to perfectionism, confusion, and chaos fall when we are in step with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Be sensitive to His prompting today and commit to obeying instructions – even when it’s hard. There is always a reward on the other side. 

Keep praying and be patient. Do you know what part of the problem is with our prayer lives? We want an answer now! We’re not very good at waiting. But Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” We must be patient in the waiting and hardships of our today. We must keep praying, even when we don’t see the mountain move or the path is unclear. When hardships come, we are to remain patient that God is in control. We don’t have to question whether He’s at work or has forgotten about us. He’s been faithful, and He will continue to be. We get quiet before Him and seek His instruction for our lives so that indecisiveness does not reign. The Lord isn’t trying to figure out His next move for your life! He is a God of order and strategy, not chaos. Be confident in the truth of His word, His past provision, and His plan for you. 

Points to Ponder:

• What is God doing to transform you right now? How do you know? 
• Would you say your prayer life consists of both speaking and listening? Why or why not? How might listening before the Lord break the bondage of indecisiveness? 

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 6:11-13

You Are Not in Control.

Ugh, control. The need to control my surroundings. The need to control my job. The need to control my kids, my relationships, and my future. This was soooooooo me! I spent much of my life trying to control everything around me. There must be order and 90-degree angles and organization, and timelines. It was exhausting. 

Hey, I still believe in order and writing things down to make them plain. God is a god of order. But the control I experience was about the pain I endured, the abuse, the disappointment, the trauma & loss. I needed to control things around me because the inner turmoil was so great. 

But our God wants an expansive, abundant life for us. He doesn’t want us bound by a small, fenced-in life. His Son paid for freedom so that we may be set completely free from bondage, including the bondage of control and perfectionism. He wants us to live and walk in the freedom that is found only in Him. He wants us to enjoy the seasons of our life, whether expected or not, whether hard or easy. He wants to give us peace, even when life’s storms are tumultuous. The need for control keeps us bound and our lives small. Let’s look at a few things that are keeping us from living freely… 

1. Our mouth. Yep, that’s right. The Bible teaches us that blessings and curses, life and death, are flowing from our tongues, and yet, we wield words that often keep us bound. We generally want to talk all about the big ol’ mountains in our lives rather than the big God we have to move them. We want to whine about the challenges and how much bigger they seem than everyone else’s. It seems that sometimes we’d rather commit verbal suicide every day rather than speak life to move our mountains! Learn to control your mouth instead of your surroundings! Our voice, when in alignment with the word of God, will slay giants. We won’t feel the need to control others when we are surrendered in trust to the Lord. But we must guard our mouths so that they stay in alignment with God’s word and instruction. Freedom comes through surrender to the Lord. 
2. Our past. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that we became a new creation when we accepted Christ as our Savior. And we know that Scripture promises us that Jesus is faithful to forgive us of our sins and spread them as far as the East is to the West when we simply ask. It’s done. We’re forgiven. But why do we struggle to forgive ourselves and move past our pasts? If not careful, we can find ourselves looking back to the past life the Lord set us free from. The past shame. The past hurt. The past relationship. The past disappointment or soul wound, rather than walking in the freedom of my new life. Our inability to walk into freedom from our pasts will leave us desiring to control everything around us. We must choose to step into this new life Christ paid for. 
3. Our choice. Now, this is a hard pill to swallow. What do you mean by our choice? Too often, we choose bondage. We don’t do so consciously, but we do. The Lord recognized this tendency in His people. Listen to what He did in Exodus 13:17-18 to prevent them from choosing bondage. “When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, ‘If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So, God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea.” The Israelites had been begging for freedom from slavery for years, and God delivered them miraculously from the Egyptians’ hands in a way that only he could have. Yet, He fully recognized that if they faced a battle, a challenge, a major life obstacle, they may very well choose to go right back to the bondage that God had just set them free from. Have you recently felt like you wandering in the wilderness? What danger might God be protecting you from? 

God’s portion given for His daughters is not one of anxiety, perfectionism, confusion, or comparison. Instead, it is to walk in complete freedom with Christ and know the joy of the Lord. May the peace of the Lord fall upon you today. You will be set free by the blood of Christ so that you may experience that wholeness and peace. 

Points to Ponder:

• Which of the three areas mentioned – our mouths, pasts, or choices – do you struggle with the most? Why do you think that is so? 

Scripture: Hebrews 12:15

Offense is the Root of Bitterness.

Life is hard, no doubt about it. The wounds left by life’s treacherous journey can be deep. If you’ve journeyed through years of parenting alone, it’s likely you’ve faced many battles. And frankly, some can seem quite unfair. Most of us have faced more battles than we know what to do with as we swing against rejection, loneliness, financial ruin, abuse, loss, and pain. Parenting challenges and family wounds can leave us limping. Repeated broken hearts leave us mutilated, emaciated, and weak. 

The wounds left by those battles can sometimes leave us angry. Why us? Why another battle? Why have we had to suffer so much? If we’re not careful, anger births offense. And if left unattended, an offense can develop a full-fledged tree of bitterness. Living bitter is exhausting. I’ve been there – mad at the world, demanding too much from others, looking for war at every turn, ready to explode within moments. But this is not God’s intention for our lives. There’s no qualify of life when bitterness runs rampant. There’s no joy. No freedom. 

Here are a few tips for finding freedom from bitterness and offense: 

1. Recognize the plan of the enemy. He comes to cause division. He comes to steal your joy, kill your hope, and destroy a good quality of life. He comes to wreak havoc in every area of your life. It is His plan for your heart to be easily wounded, such that you need to lash out at others. It’s his plan for you to harbor unforgiveness that grows into a bitter root. Know who you war against and develop strategies that are effective. (Check out tomorrow’s devotional!) 
2. Evaluate the root. Hurt births offense. What’s going on beneath the surface? Are you hurting from an old wound? Has the death of a loved one lingered and caused you to lash out at others in pain? Did the divorce or lost relationship cause you to lose joy and become bitter? Did you take the time to heal, or are you bleeding all over others? Are you personally irritated with an individual, harboring resentment such that everything they do becomes more of an irritant? Ask the Lord to show you the root of the thing. We must pull bitterness out at the root. Cutting it off at the surface leaves room for re-growth. 
3. Assess the truth. Often offense comes from misunderstandings or a lack of communication. Take the time to assess the truth about the situation. Don’t assume that they meant to hurt you or the situation is worse than it is. Sometimes, the email really wasn’t meant to hurt you, and the words weren’t meant to cut you. Sometimes, even when it was meant to hurt you, it’s because the other party is also functioning from unhealed wounds! Let’s issue grace to one another instead of assumptions as we evaluate the intentions behind words and actions. 
4. Forgive easily. Forgive when it isn’t deserved. Forgive when they don’t ask for it. Forgive often and easily. A root of offense has no time to grow or form or wreak havoc in our lives when we are quick to forgive. Now, this is not a small feat, no doubt! But the easier we move through forgiveness, the easier offense is to battle. Be reminded of all you’ve been forgiven of. 

Mommas, unforgiveness, and the offense will undoubtedly lead to the bondage of bitterness. Do not allow bitterness to grow root. Do you find yourself angry when you wake up? Do you find yourself meditating on the offense, the pain? Do you replay the disappointment of the past? Do you stalk your offenders on social media? 

The freedom of forgiveness lends way to a spacious life of new opportunities that the Lord has for you in the next season. He wants to teach you about the forgiveness you received as His son hung on a cross for you. He wants to show you an unfailing love that flows so plentiful that bitterness has no room to flourish. He wants to teach you peace that makes no sense. But it can only be experienced as you lay down the bondage of bitterness. 

Points to Ponder:

• Who in your life are you harboring unforgiveness and offense against? How is this affecting your spiritual walk?

Scripture: Ephesians 6:12

There’s a War No One is Talking About.

Spiritual warfare is real. There is an unseen world that rages against us. We see this in today’s Scripture. Colossians 1:15-17 teaches us about the unseen world, including thrones, kingdoms, and rulers. Moms, most of what you wrestle is not in what you see. It is not in your ex-husband, your mother-in-law, or your children. It is not in the boss, the school principal, or an overbearing mother. You are wrestling against an unseen world! 

Why is no one talking about this war? Why are church services so light on spiritual warfare teaching? The ministry I am privileged to serve with has now served over 1,000,000 single mothers. To God be the glory! I’ve had the great honor of speaking in churches of many sizes and denominations. Do you know how many times I have been at an altar or in a conversation in the back room of a church, where a woman said to me, “Now, please don’t think I’m crazy, but….” and then began to explain the spiritual warfare she’s experiencing? 

Perhaps we don’t talk about this war because we fear what others may think. Maybe we fear that the complexities of the unseen realm are too hard to explain. Whatever the case, there is too little writing, podcasts, videos, or speakers willing to teach about warfare. And let’s be real. The enemy knows it. Too many Believers are falling apart in their homes, jobs, relationships, finances, and parenting because they are fighting the wrong war. So… let’s look at some tactics for spiritual warfare: 

1. Remember that the full armor of God is required so that we are able to stand firm. The full armor is found in Ephesians 6: 12-18. The full armor ensures we are immovable and unshakable in this hour – that we are able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Put on every piece of armor every day. Don’t come half-dressed to the war, or you’ll leave beat up and limping like the sons of Sceva. (See Acts 19:11-20). The enemy knows when you are under-dressed or ill-prepared. Are your spiritual disciplines in alignment with the war you face? Are you using them as your weapon to defend against the attacks you see in your life? Your home? 
2. Come with a strategy. The devil doesn’t come meek and confused. He doesn’t come tired and afraid. He comes with a strategy, a plan. He is relentless. Ignoring spiritual warfare doesn’t make it any less real. Do not come to this war emotionally or lacking strategy. If you think Satan will sit idly by while you fight for your family and take territory for the Kingdom, think again. His strategies are to steal, kill, and destroy. Evaluate what tactics he may have used in the past in your life that may have been effective. Be prepared with strategies. What are the tools he used in past wars to distract, confuse, discourage, depress, or infuriate you? How do you guard against that now? Where do we get our strategies? From the Holy Spirit! Spend time in prayer, truly in the Secret Place, allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal effective strategies, such as what to say, where to go, how to react, or how to withstand. 
3. We are not fighting flesh & blood. Remember this truth in the midst of the war you face. Your war isn’t against people. Too many of us are getting caught up in fights we were not intended to fight. You are not warring against your children, friends, coworkers, or family. We battle the unseen. We often fight carnally with what we see, not supernaturally with what we don’t see. We must come against the spirit, not against the person. 

These are just three-pointers for spiritual warfare. Truth be told, I could probably write an entire book on this subject, and I just might one day. Moms, save this devotional. Refer to it time and again. In the height of my pain, as a hurting single mom, I went back to these seven things, time and again, and claimed freedom in each one. May you experience the joy, hope, freedom, and peace that only our Lord can bring. 

Points to Ponder:

• Have there been times when you were caught off guard by the enemy and responded in a way that didn’t honor God? Were there times when you were caught up in the temporary moment of a situation versus the eternal outcome? Explain.