The Orphan Spirit: Inner Healing From Deep Wounds of Rejection

Scriptures: 1 John 3:1

Day 1: What is an Orphaned Spirit

The “orphan spirit” is a term used to describe a deep-seated feeling of abandonment, rejection, and emotional distance from others, including God. People who struggle with this often feel as though they must fend for themselves, facing life’s challenges alone and feeling disconnected from a secure sense of family, love, or belonging. Here are some common characteristics and roots of the orphan spirit:

1. Feeling Unloved or Unworthy

At the core, the orphan spirit stems from an inner belief that one is unloved or unwanted. This can lead to feelings of unworthiness, insecurity, and low self-esteem. People may struggle to receive or believe in genuine love or feel that they must earn affection. 

2. Struggles with Trust and Dependence

An orphan spirit fosters a sense of self-reliance, often making it difficult for people to trust others, including God. This self-reliance creates a barrier to dependency, resulting in difficulty asking for help or receiving support.

3. Fear of Abandonment or Rejection

Those dealing with an orphan spirit may have a lingering fear of abandonment or rejection, often stemming from childhood experiences. This fear can manifest in constant worry about being let down, left behind, or betrayed.

4. Performance-Driven Mentality

People with an orphan spirit often feel the need to “earn” love or approval. They may adopt a performance-driven mentality, striving to prove themselves to feel worthy or accepted. This can lead to burnout and feelings of inadequacy.

5. Comparing and Competing with Others

Without a secure sense of identity, those with an orphan spirit may feel envious or competitive, believing that there isn’t enough love, attention, or resources for everyone. They may often feel inadequate or compare themselves to others, leading to resentment or jealousy.

6. Difficulty in Receiving Correction and Love

An orphan spirit often leads people to interpret correction as personal rejection rather than constructive guidance. Similarly, expressions of love may feel conditional or insincere, creating an inner barrier that keeps people from truly feeling loved.

7. Struggle with Feeling Like Part of God’s Family

Spiritually, the orphan spirit creates a sense of alienation from God and His family. This can result in feeling distant from God’s presence, struggling to accept God as a loving Father, and feeling disconnected from the family of believers.

Ponder and Process:Spend time in prayer asking Holy Spirit to reveal which of these characteristics are part of your personality. Ponder how they are affecting your life and relationships right now. Process your resistance to allowing God’s power to bring comfort and healing to those areas.

Scriptures: 1 John 3:1, Isaiah 14, John 14:18

Day 2: Healing from the Orphaned Spirit (Embracing the Father) 

Over the next days we will be discussing the process of healing from the Orphan Spirit. Today we will discuss Embracing the Father. 

Where did Orphan Spirit start:

Scripture shows us that Lucifer was a special angel (Isaiah 14) in charge of worship in heaven. Pride then developed in Lucifer’s heart and he wanted to take God’s position. So, Lucifer is banished from heaven. Lucifer (who is now called Satan) leaves God’s presence. Lucifer rejected God. He rejected love. He rejected Father. SO, Lucifer becomes the first orphan (an orphaned spirit). 

As Adam and Eve were tempted, they began to have their own orphan experience. No longer were they living fully in the loving fathering presence of God as sons and daughters. From here, the orphan spirit had entered the world. 

The Answer for the Orphan Spirit:

The orphan spirit embodies the mindset of a son or daughter separated from his or her loving Father. Out of this sense of abandonment, lies, sin, and selfish acts flourish to medicate the loss of identity, provision, and protection. 

But Jesus promises: I will not leave you orphans, I will come for you (John 14:18). 

When Jesus said these words, it was also Father God speaking. He was saying. I will not leave you in this world like orphans. I will come to you. The only way to stop being “like” an orphan is to embrace the Father’s love. 

We must be introduced to a true Father – to a perfect, loving heavenly Father, and be transformed into a son or daughter by the Father by living in His blessing. God wants every vestige of the orphan spirit out of our lives so we can be whole. This is His desire for every person. 

Scripture: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” – 1 John 3:1 

Reflection: Today, reflect on the truth that you are God’s child. Take time to sit with this reality and imagine the deep, abiding love of a perfect Father who delights in you. Embrace that you are not an orphan; you are chosen and cherished. 

Prayer: Father, help me to understand and accept that I am loved by You. Heal my heart from any feelings of abandonment, and help me to fully embrace You as my Father.

Scriptures: Psalms 34:18, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Romans 8:38-39, Psalms 139, Isaiah 61:1

Day 3: Healing from the Orphaned Spirit (Let Go of Rejection) 

The orphan spirit is often rooted in past experiences of rejection. Rejection is the sense of being dismissed, excluded, or deemed unworthy by others. It can be social, emotional, professional, or even spiritual, and it’s a powerful experience because humans are wired to seek acceptance and connection. Rejection can touch on our deepest fears and vulnerabilities, making it feel painful and sometimes devastating. 

We often hear people say, “let it go,” or “let go and let God.” What does that actually mean, and how do you actually let it go? I have learned over the years, in order to understand something, I need to break down the meaning of each component of what I am seeking to understand. 

Let: means to allow, give permission, to release control, to surrender. We must first be willing to yield to the above mentioned definitions. 

It: is material or immaterial substance that can be seen, touched, felt, or experienced. For our purpose it would be rejection. 

Go: means an unhindered move from one place or another; to depart or leave. 

Now let’s expound on what it means to “let it go.” We must give permission or allow (let) rejection (it) to leave or depart (go). This sounds very simple, but only possible when leaning into and on the grace made available to all believers and is sufficient in all circumstances (2 Cor. 12:9-10). 

We must practice “allowing rejection to depart” daily. This will involve the three following steps, with the last one being a process more than a step. 

When we are practicing anything, we are cultivating a lifestyle of what we practice. To be free of rejection we must cultivate a lifestyle of first surrendering to the truth that God is willing and able to heal us whole from rejection. 

1. Renounce your agreement with rejection: reject ownership and refuse to abide by the influence of rejection. We underestimate the power we have to say no. We acknowledge the damage this spirit has played and we make a conscious decision to abandon being drawn into victimhood. This does not deny the pain, rather recognizes God sent His Son to save us from a broken heart and crushed spirit. 

2. Remove yourself from things that provoke more rejection: this is not a form of avoidance, but wisdom. Being in stressful environments causes areas of your brain to become overactive. These areas of the brain need reconstruction by the Word of God and being hijacked by more wounds of rejection is unprofitable to your healing. 

3. Recover from inner pain: the process of recover involves (1) being able to identify lies and replace them with God’s Truth. Inner wounds often come with lies, like “I’m unworthy,” “I’m unloved,” or “I’ll never be enough.” These lies must be confronted with God’s Truth. Scripture offers affirmations of God’s love, acceptance, and purpose for His children. Once you replace lies with God’s Truth, (2) you must meditate on the Word of Truth. The Bible is full of verses that speak of God’s healing power and love that can bring hope and encourage faith in God’s healing. 

Scripture: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 

Reflection: Reflect on any experiences where rejection has left scars on your heart. Remember that God is close to those who are hurting. He sees and cares for your wounds. Bring these hurts to Him, trusting Him to heal the pain and restore you. 

Prayer: Jesus, I bring my wounds of rejection to You. Help me release these hurts and trust in Your unwavering acceptance and love.

Scriptures: Galatians 1:10, Romans 5:9

Day 4: Healing from the Orphaned Spirit (Overcoming Need for Approval) 

Seeking the approval of others is a common human tendency. The word here is tendency, which means likelihood to or inclination. As Christ followers we understand that we are approved because of the blood of Jesus that was shed for us. 

Approval provides a sense of security. When we experience rejection or abandonment, our hearts will crave security. This craving will be projected through seeking approval of others. 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Approval: While wanting approval is part of our human experience, excessive dependence on it can lead to anxiety, people-pleasing, and a lack of authenticity. Christians can find freedom by focusing on God’s unconditional love and acceptance, which provides a stable foundation that human approval can never fully offer. Shifting focus to God’s Word for affirmation helps believers root their self-worth in something unchanging. 

This is how we overcome. Knowing that they are loved, accepted, and valued by God regardless of others’ opinions can provide strength, peace, and confidence. 

Scripture: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?” – Galatians 1:10 

Reflection: The orphan spirit often seeks validation and approval from others. God’s approval, however, is already yours. Today, practice living from a place of knowing you are already accepted and loved by God, no matter how others may see you. 

Prayer: Father, help me to seek only Your approval. Free me from the need to prove myself, and remind me that I am accepted and loved as I am.

Scriptures: Romans 5:8, Ephesians 1:4-5, Romans 3:22, Romans 4:5, Proverbs 3:5-6

Day 5: Healing from the Orphan Spirit (Receiving God’s Unconditional Love) 

Do you struggle with receiving God’s love? Breaking this “inability to receive” is paramount to healing from the Orphan Spirit. This resistance is mainly due to not feeling worthy of His love. This worthiness is usually attached to our sense of self. The Father has deemed us (self) righteous by faith, faith in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:22; 4:5). 

We were chosen by unconditional love for unconditional love:

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves (Ephesians 1:4-5). 

We must surrender to this truth (we were chosen by love for love). Surrendering is the greatest form of receiving:

The foundation of surrender is trust. Our ability to trust is usually damaged in trawls of relational trauma. Trauma leaves you with an understanding contrary to the Truth of God’s Word. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

As you surrender, you will see the Lord’s transforming work in your life. It is His love that does this transforming work in you. He wants His love to become your reality. 

Scripture: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 

Reflection: God’s love for you doesn’t depend on your performance. Today, let go of any belief that you have to earn His love. Reflect on the cross and the depth of His love that He showed while we were yet sinners. 

Prayer: Jesus, thank You for loving me unconditionally. Help me to rest in Your love and let it transform my heart and mind.

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:32, Philippians 4:13, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 5:44, Colossians 3:13

Day 6: Healing from an Orphaned Spirit (Releasing Forgiveness) 

Forgiveness is necessary for any healing journey. It is important to understand forgiveness involves two parts: release and recovery. Release involves a decision of the heart to remove the requirement to pay the debt (pain) caused. Recovery is a journey and involves the intentionality of applying God’s Word which heals. 

Forgiving can feel impossible, especially when the pain is deep. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s help, asking for strength, compassion, and the grace to truly let go. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.” 

Here are some steps to consider when releasing forgiveness. 

(1) Let Go of Your “Right” to Retaliate: Sometimes we hold onto unforgiveness as a form of control or as a “right” to hold something against the person. True forgiveness, however, releases this right and lets go of the need to retaliate or hold onto grudges. 

(2) Lay the Burden at the Cross: Surrender the offense and the hurt to Jesus, who took all pain, sin, and suffering upon Himself. 1 Peter 5:7 encourages us to “cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Give the weight of the hurt and the desire for justice to God, trusting that He will work all things for good. 

(3) Lift the Person Up in Prayer: Pray blessings over the person who hurt you. Jesus taught us to pray for our enemies, which helps shift our perspective and releases bitterness. Praying for the offender can feel challenging but is incredibly freeing. 

(4) Ask God to Show You His Perspective: Praying for the offender can open your heart to God’s perspective. Asking God to show you the person through His eyes can foster compassion and understanding. 

(5) Meditate on Verses About Forgiveness: Renew your mind with verses that encourage forgiveness. Verses like Colossians 3:13 (“Forgive as the Lord forgave you”) remind us of God’s heart and give us strength to forgive. 

(6) Focus on God’s Forgiveness Toward You: Reflecting on God’s grace in your own life can make it easier to extend that grace to others. Remembering how much we’ve been forgiven helps soften our hearts and reminds us of God’s mercy. 

(7) Accept that the Recovery Portion of Forgiveness May Be an Ongoing Process: Some wounds take time to heal, and feelings of anger or sadness may resurface. When they do, remind yourself of the choice you made to forgive and ask God for help to continue releasing any lingering bitterness. 

Prescription for Healing:

Scripture: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 

Reflection: Holding onto bitterness can keep us in a place of bondage. Reflect on people who may have hurt you, particularly if this hurt has reinforced feelings of abandonment or rejection. Ask God for the strength to forgive as He has forgiven you. 

Prayer: Lord, help me to forgive those who have hurt me. Release me from bitterness, and let me experience the freedom of a forgiving heart.

Scriptures: John 1:12, Romans 8:15-17, Luke 10:19

Day 7: Living as a Glorious Son or Daughter of God 

Healing from the deep wounds of rejection allows for the full inheritance of being glorious sons and daughters of God. Being a “glorious son or daughter of God” means embracing one’s identity as a beloved child of God who is called to reflect His glory, love, and purpose in this world. This identity, given through Christ, involves living in the fullness of God’s love, grace, and power. 

As glorious sons and daughters, we are fully accepted and loved by God. John 1:12 tells us that “to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” This identity is not earned; it’s a gift of God’s grace and love. 

We no longer have to embrace the identity of an abandoned son or daughter. We are not just individuals saved by grace; we are adopted into God’s family. Romans 8:15-17 explains that, as adopted children, we are heirs with Christ. We belong to God’s family with the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that come with it. 

God desires His children to live in emotional, spiritual, and physical wholeness. As we walk in relationship with Him, He brings healing and restoration to our hearts, allowing us to live as whole and complete sons and daughters. 

God gives His children authority in Christ to overcome spiritual forces and live with boldness and confidence. Luke 10:19 says, “I have given you authority…to overcome all the power of the enemy.” As His children, we have access to His power and authority through prayer, faith, and the Holy Spirit. 

As glorious sons and daughters we grow in Christlikeness, striving to reflect Jesus in thoughts, actions, and character. Romans 8:29 teaches that God’s goal for us is to be “conformed to the image of His Son.” This transformation reflects God’s glory and reveals His nature to the world. 

Scripture: “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” – Romans 8:15 

Reflection: Today, focus on living in your identity as God’s child. Choose to release any orphan mindset and walk in the freedom, love, and security of being a son or daughter of God. Trust that He has given you a place in His family. 

Prayer: Abba, Father, thank You for making me Your child. Help me to walk in my true identity, free from fear, and full of the confidence of being fully loved.