Deactivating Triggers

Scriptures: Ephesians 6:12, Titus 3:2, 1 Corinthians 13:4, 1 Peter 5:14

Identifying the Root Cause of Runaway Emotions

“Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage.” (Ephesians 6:12, TPT) 

Sometimes, there is far-reaching damage caused by things done or said to us by those who are supposed to love us, nurture us, and protect us. Do you feel gripped with fear, dread, bitterness, or anger much of the time? And honestly, you can’t even put a finger on one particular reason why? Do you often ache from the twist and grind of a perpetual knot of anxiousness in the pit of your stomach? 

To end this vicious cycle, we must understand who the true culprit is in this unending pain and out-of-control emotional rollercoaster. First and foremost, remember that people are not our enemy. They each have their own demons to battle. To end our struggle, we need to learn to fight our true enemy with the weapons our Lord provided for us. 

Putting on the full armor of God

In Ephesians, Paul instructs us to put on the full armor of God: 

“Put on God’s complete set of armor provided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser!” (Ephesians 6:11, TPT) 

Verses 14-18 explain what comprises the full armor of God: 

·The belt of truth—to guard against the lies and deceptions of the enemy. 

·Breastplate of righteousness—holiness to cover and protect our hearts 

·Shoes of the Gospel—our feet are always on alert to go share the gospel 

·Shield of Faith—our wrap-around shield of protection from the evil one 

·Helmet of Salvation—to protect our thoughts from the lies of the enemy 

·Sword of the Spirit—razor-sharp weapon, which is the spoken Word 

Activation:

Below are some simple suggestions to help stop the enemy from triggering harmful attitudes and reactions. Each one is a step to help put on the Full Armor of God. 

1. Develop the habit of getting up a little earlier each day to study the Word and pray to develop a more intimate and stronger relationship with the Lord. Believe it or not, it will change your entire outlook for the day. 

Jesus set this example for all of us: 

“The next morning, Jesus got up long before daylight, left the house while it was dark, and made his way to a secluded place to give himself to prayer.” (Mark 1:35, TPT) 

2. Greet everyone you meet with a smile and kind words, beginning with your family before you even leave the house. This is much easier once you’ve completed step 1. 

“Greet one another with a kiss of peace. Peace to all who are in life union with Christ. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:14, TPT) 

“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, TPT) 

3. As you go through your day, be determined to keep your conversations on a positive note. Avoid gossip by just walking away or changing the subject. Remember, sometimes the enemy uses others to stir up negative emotions: 

“And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.” (Ephesians 4:29, TPT) 

And remind them to never tear down anyone with their words or quarrel, but instead be considerate, humble, and courteous to everyone.” (Titus 3:2, TPT) 

4. End your day in study and prayer. Even if the study is to just go back over the scriptures from the list above. Give God thanks for helping you through the day with less drama and emotional upheaval than you had the day before. You will see a marked difference in your ability to control your emotions as you focus on remaining calm and stopping to think before you speak. By this, I mean admitting and recognizing that the enemy controls us if we let him: 

My Prayer for You:

Lord, release your Spirit to speak into this precious one seeking the truth about you. Let them feel your great love and passion to work miracles in their lives. Help them understand, through your Word, how incredibly proud you are of them and how you long to gather them into your family. Bless them beyond measure as they spend more and more time getting to know you and reveling in the comfort and peace of your love. Father, I ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our King. Amen. 

Declaration:

I will rest in the knowledge of the Father’s complete and unwavering love for me and my loved ones. I will not hesitate to declare His works in my life. Peace and harmony will rule as I walk in the will of my Father. I will study His word to prove myself worthy of His love and interaction in my life. My household will flourish under the watchful eyes of His Spirit. I will praise and worship Him all the days of my life.

Scriptures: Isaiah 26:3, Proverbs 19:11, James 1:19-20

Pause—Ponder—Pray

A Strategy for Gaining Control of Negative Emotions

Perfect, absolute peace surrounds those whose imaginations are consumed with you; they confidently trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3, TPT) 

Several years ago, I did a workshop for my church on the power of our spoken words. I had noticed in scripture how we have the power to either bring life or bring death by our words. We can hurt someone seriously or hurt ourselves by speaking words out into the atmosphere with no regard for the consequences. As I was preparing for the meeting, suddenly, these terms came to mind: Pause—Ponder—Pray. I knew it was the Holy Spirit teaching me something to help not only myself but also those to whom I was about to minister. So, I shared this revelation with all the participants and the significance of it. We ended up posting it in our sanctuary. It is still there on the wall to this day. People will occasionally tell me they still use it often to remind them to be careful before they speak. And I still teach it as a reminder from time to time. 

I often ask the Lord for wisdom and the other gifts of the Spirit. And I’ve been blessed to walk in those gifts as He sees fit. But this strategy, given to me directly from Him, is WISDOM. It is wise to train ourselves to control our words and actions. It is also Christ-like to do so. He will help us along the way; all we have to do is ask, receive, and apply. It has become second nature to me. I pray it becomes second nature to you as well when you face a situation that would normally trigger a negative response. 

We have no control over others, but we can learn to control our emotions and reactions. We can learn to overcome years of pent-up bitterness, resentment, and anger. We can learn strategies to help us stop the pattern of giving in to those emotions in the future. Below, I elaborate on the strategy given to me that day by the Holy Spirit: 

PAUSE: before you act or react to anything—STOP! Count to 10, if needed, but just pause and take a breath. 

PONDER: Carefully consider what you are about to say or do. Consider whether you seriously want to “die on that hill,” as the saying goes. Is it necessary to respond at all? Is it possible what you are about to say or do will cause irreparable damage to you or the other person? 

PRAY: Ask the Holy Spirit how you should handle responding to the situation or if you should respond at all. Permit Him to guide your words and actions. Seek His advice as to the motivation of the other person in this case. 

An understanding person demonstrates patience, for mercy means holding your tongue. When you are insulted, be quick to forgive and forget it, for you are virtuous when you overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11, TPT) 

The strategy is very simple in terms, but the magnitude of its power is limitless. This simple process has saved me in so many ways. It has kept me from damaging or destroying relationships. There are times I’ve wanted to say things but did not because I took the time to run through these steps. Later, I had to give praise and thanks to the Lord for helping me dodge a huge bullet. Countless embarrassing moments were avoided thanks to this process, where I had misunderstood what was being said and would have lashed out, only to be humiliated to find out I was wrong. It’s much better to celebrate the missed disasters than to mourn and agonize over lapses in self-control and the great losses they incur. The benefits of learning to pause, ponder, and pray are innumerable. This is true in any situation. 

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. (James 1:19-20, NLT) 

Our lives should be a living testimony to the peace and harmony found in a Christ-led life. We must build trust with those He places in our paths. Believe it or not, people watch how we respond in different situations. We can lose their trust in one brief moment by losing control of our emotions. Just like the Pharisees watched for any sign to prove Jesus wasn’t who He claimed to be, His disciples are being watched just as closely. You and I are His disciples. People scrutinized every move of Jesus. Here are just a few of the many scriptures showing this: 

“They watched closely and sent spies who pretended to be righteous, so that they could catch him in what he said, to hand him over to the governor’s rule and authority.” (Luke 20:20, CSB) 

“Then they sent some of the Pharisees and the Herodians to Jesus to trap him in his words.” (Mark 12:13, CSB) 

My prayer for you:

“Lord, wrap your loving arms around those reading this message. Walk with them and show them your ways. Holy Spirit, please make yourself so very real to them. Speak to them and give them visions and dreams for guidance along the way. I ask you to bless each one as you touch, heal, comfort, and deliver them from the evil one. Please heal the deeply embedded wounds and scars and end the pain they have caused over the years. Open their eyes and ears to the truth as they search your Word. Place a hedge and shield around them for protection each day. Bless them and comfort them. Lord, I ask these things in the name above all names, Jesus Christ our King, Amen.”

Declaration and Activation:

Make this declaration over yourself daily. Write it on an index card and display it where you are sure to see it and write the strategy Pause—Ponder—Pray on the card as well: 

“I am a child of the most-high God! I have all the power and authority placed within me by my Lord and Savior to heal, comfort, restore, and deliver where needed. I am light, and light dispels darkness. I was created to be the head and not the tail. I will follow my Lord Jesus in all of His ways and teach others to do the same. I have a high calling on my life and with the help of the Holy Spirit, I intend to fulfill it!” 

Scriptures: Romans 9:26, John 17:20-23, Romans 9:24-26

You Are Not a Stepchild

We Are All Equal in the Eyes of the Father

“In the place where they were told, ‘You are nobody,’ this will be the very place where they will be renamed ‘Children of the living God.’” (Romans 9:26, TPT)

Let me begin by clarifying that I am speaking to everyone and anyone. This message is not just for those whose parents are married to someone other than their biological mom or dad. Anyone can feel like a stepchild, an orphan, or as if they simply do not belong. Those are the ones I am addressing. I am speaking to you because we have ALL felt out of place, unwanted, or shunned at some point. Look closely because you will recognize yourself somewhere within this segment. 

I believe you could consider me an expert on being a stepchild. I’m kidding, of course, but I am well-versed in the role. My dad was married 5 times, and my mother was married 3 times. Soon after my mom remarried the first time, my dad also married again to a woman who already had six children. Thus began our saga like most children from broken homes—they live in parallel but very different worlds. It’s like living two separate lives with different aliases. You have no idea who you are, but you try to be whomever and whatever you think will cause the least conflict in your world.

Cause and Effect – The Spirit of Rejection

We have all experienced rejection at some point in our lives. Think about it. Is there some situation you were in that brings back memories of being left out or ignored? It may not have been within your family unit. Have you ever had people close to you invite some of your group for an outing, but they did not invite you? Maybe you were the last one chosen in a game when team captains were choosing their team members. Maybe on the job, someone new to your place of employment received resources, a promotion, or special recognition, while you, who had been on the job much longer, never received any of those things. We have all experienced those types of rejection. Don’t misunderstand. Just because we have all experienced those moments doesn’t mean they are not traumatic. They most certainly are and cause lasting feelings of anger and hurt. I have suffered all of those as well, but for me, the ultimate rejection was from those who are supposed to love and support us the most. However, I want you to know, Precious One, you are not a stepchild in any form or fashion. You have a loving family headed by the most loving, caring Father you can imagine. And He would never reject you or treat you in a manner which would cause hurt or pain. 

I think most of us understand satan is the father of lies. I just want to remind you, so please keep it in mind when you feel rejected or left out, and those negative emotions rise to the surface. Those feelings never come from God. Jesus makes this very clear while addressing the Pharisees: 

“You are the offspring of your father, the devil, and you serve your father very well, passionately carrying out his desires. He’s been a murderer right from the start! He never stood with the One who is the true Prince, for he’s full of nothing but lies—lying is his native tongue. He is a master of deception and the father of lies!” (John 8:44, TPT) 

The spirit of rejection triggers negative emotions and, many times, violence. It builds up within you until you lash out at everyone around you in frustration. This has been my experience and observation. It is one of the hardest spiritual battles to overcome. BUT, with God’s help, you can and will overcome it. 

We Are Not Stepchildren!

Let’s be clear—God does not consider anyone a stepchild. He loves fairly and equally. He had a really hard time convincing me. I was a real tough nut to crack, but He never gave up on me. A tremendous breakthrough for me came one day as I was reading the book of John. In chapter 17, Jesus had gone to the garden of Gethsemane to pray. I read as He prayed for His disciples, asking the Father to protect them, that they would remain united, and to guard their hearts against evil. But as I read further, I realized He was also praying for me and you. In verse 20, He begins to pray for those in the future who would one day believe because of His disciples’ teachings. The part which completely changed my life was when I read how God loves us, just as He loves Jesus. What???? I just sat there and read this verse over and over. It shocked me to realize God loves us, you and me, with the SAME passionate love He has for His Son. It’s almost beyond our ability to comprehend. Look for yourself: 

“And I ask not only for these disciples, but also for all those who will one day believe in me through their message. I pray for them all to be joined together as one even as you and I, Father, are joined together as one. I pray for them to become one with us so that the world will recognize that you sent me. For the very glory you have given to me, I have given them so that they will be joined together as one and experience the same unity that we enjoy. You live fully in me and now I live fully in them so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that you have sent me, for they will see that you love each one of them with the same passionate love that you have for me.” (John 17:20-23, TPT) 

He repeats it in verse 26. This absolutely wrecked me. I began to weep and cry out to Him, asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for showing me a Father’s love. It was something I had longed for and yearned for all my life. I had an amazing encounter with our Lord right then and there. Not once since have I felt unloved or unwanted. I had security and a promise of eternal love and fellowship with my Lord. This life no longer held any real value for me except for the fact I still had a destiny to fulfill. 

“Even for us, whether we are Jews or non-Jews, we are those he has called to experience his glory. Remember the prophecy God gave in Hosea: “To those who were rejected and not my people, I will say to them: ‘You are mine.’ And to those who were unloved, I will say: ‘You are my darling.’” And: “In the place where they were told, ‘You are nobody,’ this will be the very place where they will be renamed ‘Children of the living God.” (Romans 9:24-26, TPT) 

Wow. Wow. Wow. Doesn’t that just break down all kinds of walls we have put up to protect ourselves from the feeling of not belonging or being unwanted? And doesn’t it just deactivate all those triggers the enemy works hard to use to talk us into losing control? It doesn’t matter what has been said to us or what has been done to us. The ones perpetrating evil on us will have to answer for it one day, and it is not our concern, nor is it any of our business how or when it happens. They belong to God just as we do, and He will judge, not us. 

You can “change the bend in the road.” We do not have to repeat the same offenses that were or are being inflicted on us. You can stop the generational curses. Think about it for a moment. Do you really want to treat your spouse or children or anyone else the way you were treated? Do you want them to carry the same heavy burden of anger or unhappiness you have carried for so long? 

It can… 

Stop. 

With. 

You. 

Activation:

Practice speaking positive descriptions over yourself (check the Declaration below). When you feel defeated or emotionally injured, remember how Christ must have felt when he was being flogged, cursed, and crucified. Remember, when we are belittling ourselves, we are defaming a child of God. He created us, and He loves us beyond our wildest imaginations. Our words become actions, so guard the thoughts and the words you speak carefully. It is just as bad to put ourselves down as it is for others to do so. You are amazing! 

My prayer for you:

“Father, I thank you for the one reading this message from you. You drew this person in to hear what you have for them. I ask you to open their eyes to see you more clearly and their ears to hear you more clearly. Lord, I ask you to help them see themselves as you see them. Holy Spirit, please speak to this beloved one in visions or dreams and make yourself so very real to them. Give them wisdom and understanding so they may truly become a new creation in you. I praise you Lord and lift your name on high as I make this petition by the authority and power of your name, Jesus Christ our King! Amen.”

Declaration:

I am a child of the most high King and in line to inherit everything He has promised to His children. I am the head and not the tail. I am loved and cherished beyond my wildest imagination, just as all His children are loved and cherished. I will no longer live with the lie that I am less than any other child of God and will no longer allow the enemy to trigger my behavior and attitudes. I will live in peace and harmony with all and teach others to do the same. With the Holy Spirit as my guide, I will be victorious in all things.