In today’s society, it is easier to play the victim than to claim the victory we’ve been promised through Christ’s sacrifice during our struggles, grievances, and sufferings. Throughout this 4-day journey, you will not only learn how to identify the clear signs that you’re succumbing to a victim mentality, but you will also gain practical guidance to securing a “more-than-a-conqueror mindset.” Charisma House
Day 1
Scriptures: Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Corinthians 10:13, John 16:33
Are You a Victim or a Victor?
What is a victim mentality?
Simply stated, a victim mentality is the mindset that convinces you that you are a victim. Henry Cloud, best-selling author of Changes That Heal, says: “Victims declare, ‘The world is responsible for me’ and never do anything to better their quality of life.”
The truth is we aren’t born with a victim mentality. We develop this mindset through suffering injustices, tragedies, or abuse. To be sure, there was a trigger event that started the victimhood cycle—a cycle you can and must break if you want to see vindication. You may not even realize you have a victim mentality—and that’s part of the deception. If you could see it as a mindset that delays or even derails your vindication, you would immediately reject it.
If you’ll keep your heart open, you may see yourself in one or more of these twelve signs of the victim mentality listed in this reading plan. Pray before you read this next section and ask the Lord to expose any victim mentalities that are hindering your vindication.
Read Hebrews 12:12-15.
In my experience, too many people today live bitter over what happened to them in the past—and, therefore, remain in bondage to a memory that only exists in their mind. That memory acts like a magnet that pulls them back to the familiar emotions of pain, anger, and despair.
At the extreme, people pursue an Old Testament ideology of injustice—an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, fracture for fracture, and so on—without understanding that they are only opening a door for the enemy to wreak more havoc in their lives.
There is a better way, and I’ve found it. It’s the way of Jesus, who offers to vindicate us from every injustice. Our heavenly Father promises to make the wrong things right and the crooked places straight. He promises to work all things together for our good if we love Him and stay focused on our purpose instead of our pain. He even promises to take what the enemy meant for harm and turn it around for our good.
Day 2
Scriptures: James 5:13, Hebrews 13:5, Proverbs 17:22
The First Six Signs of a Victim Mentality
Sign #1: You Feel Powerless
You may have a victim mentality if you feel powerless to fix the problems in your life or even cope with them. Remember, the crippled man felt powerless to get into the water first. The truth is you are not powerless. The Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you (Rom. 8:11). That truth makes you powerful!
Sign #2: You Inflate Injustice & Ignore God
You may have a victim mentality if you magnify injustice and exalt the enemy’s power over God’s power. In other words, you concentrate on what the devil has done to the point that you’re magnifying the destructive work of Satan instead of magnifying the restorative work of the Savior.
Psalm 34:3–5 tells us plainly, “Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Magnify means “to increase in significance” or “to enlarge in fact or in appearance.” When we magnify the devil’s facts over God’s truth, we live as victims. When we magnify the Lord, we live as victors.
Sign #3: You are Consumed by Paranoia
You may have a victim mentality if you think people are out to get you and even wonder sometimes if God is on your side. This may ultimately manifest as paranoia. We think of Romans 8:31, “If God is for me, who can be against me?” Sometimes we just don’t understand why God would let the injustice happen.
I can imagine how Joshua felt after the massive slaughter against Ai. In Joshua 1:5, God told him clearly, “No man will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, I will be with you. I will not abandon you. I will not leave you” (MEV). But then Israel was defeated at Ai and Joshua wasted no time accusing God: “O Lord God, why did You bring this people across the Jordan to give us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us?” (Josh. 7:7, MEV).
I understand why Joshua was confused. God said He would help him, and suddenly he lost a major battle. Did God lie? No, the enemy attacked. There was an open door, but Joshua didn’t discern it. Achan had taken spoils from the last war, which God prohibited. Joshua didn’t know it until the Lord exposed it. Thankfully, Joshua quickly shook off the victim mindset and rallied to win the next battle. So can you.
Sign #4: You Reject Godly Counsel
You may have a victim mentality if you get easily offended when someone tries to help you see your life from God’s perspective, or you reject godly counsel because you feel like no one understands your plight. You may justify your victim mentality with words like the bitter man I met at the gas station offered: “But you don’t understand…” There is no justification for victimhood. For freedom’s sake, Christ died to set you free (Gal. 5:1).
Sign #5: You Refuse to Take Responsibility
You may have a victim mentality if you refuse to take any responsibility for your position in life. You don’t consider that you may be responding through the wrong lens to the circumstances in which you find yourself. You blame the devil, other people, and even God but don’t look at how you contributed to your woes by disobeying God, failing to acknowledge Him in a big decision, or otherwise missing His warnings or instructions.
Remember this, life is not fair, but God is just.
Sign #6: You Plan a Pity Party
You may have a victim mentality if you get upset when people don’t give you the sympathy you think you deserve. When they don’t RSVP to your pity party, you feel rejected. The only ones who join in your pity party are other miserable people who want to take turns complaining about their lives.
Day 3
Scriptures: James 5:11, Galatians 2:20, Matthew 16:24-25
The Last Six Signs of a Victim Mentality
Sign #7: You Throw Yourself a Pity Party
You may have a victim mentality if you host your own private pity parties. Here’s the deception: you think it’s a private party, but self-pity attracts devils. Although the Holy Spirit won’t attend your “woe is me” gathering, demons show up to celebrate your misery.
Sign #8: You Live with a Cloud of Negativity Over You
You may have a victim mentality if you walk in a state of fear, doubt, and negativity about your circumstances. Really listen to yourself talk, and you will hear what everyone else around you already knows by your speech. Remember, out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).
Sign #9: You Live by These Two Words, “I can’t.”
You may have a victim mentality if “I can’t” is a keyword in your vocabulary. And that’s a lie. The truth is you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil. 4:13). The problem is, “I can’t” often turns into “I don’t want to” or even “I won’t.”
Sign #10: You Constantly Complain about Your Circumstances
You may have a victim mentality if you feel like you have the right to complain about your circumstances or what “they” did to you. But consider this: Jesus never complained about what happened to Him, and He suffered much more than any of us ever will.
Sign #11 & Sign #12:
When the victim mindset matures, you regress. Eventually, you feel like you deserve what you are getting. That’s the eleventh sign. The twelfth sign is outward facing. If you are not careful, the victim mentality can drive you to take vengeance into your own hands. If you shed the victim mentality, healing and vindication begin.
Day 4
Scriptures: Ephesians 6:10-12, 1 John 5:4, John 15:5
Essential Steps to Developing a More-Than-A-Conqueror Mentality
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” – Romans 8:37, MEV
The Bible calls us more than conquerors (Rom. 8:37). The Complete Jewish Bible uses the term “superconquerors.” We need God’s grace to step into those tights and put on that cape because the enemy’s kryptonite is real.
When Moses sent the twelve Israelite spies into the Promised Land to have a look-see, ten of them came back with a victim mentality. The vision of the giant caused them to become “like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight” (Num. 13:33, NASB). When we take on the victim mentality, it draws more victimization into our lives.
Thankfully, Joshua and Caleb modeled the right mindset—the conquering mindset. “Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, “Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it” (Num. 13:30). A generation of victim-minded Israelites died in the wilderness. But Joshua and Caleb entered the Promised Land.
Caleb never lost his conquering mindset. When it was time for him to claim his inheritance in the Promised Land, he was eighty-five years old. But he told Joshua, “As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in” (Josh. 14:11, KJV). And Caleb took the mountains despite the enemies in the land opposing him.
How Do We Actually Assume This More-Than-A-Conqueror Mindset?
Developing a conquering mentality is a matter of perspective. Are you going to see yourself as victorious in Christ or a victim of the giants in the land? Will you see yourself as more than a conqueror or as a grasshopper?
It’s your choice—and only you can make it.
We overcome a victim mentality by developing faith in the Word of God, what it says about who we are in Christ, and what we can do in His strength. It may take time to renew your mind, but it’s never too early to start. First John 5:4 puts it this way, “This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith” (KJV).