A Year of Abundance for Special Needs Families

Scriptures: Psalms 66:8-12, Mark 4:35, Psalms 27:13, Isaiah 43:2, John 10:10

A Place of Abundance

Ten years ago, our daughter experienced a brain injury that led to lifelong epilepsy, blindness, immobility, and cognitive delay. Since then, our life has been filled with procedures, appointments, medications, special diets, special equipment, late nights, mystery ailments, and a lot of missing out on normal life. But I have to say, these are not the elements that stick out to me when I think of her life – of our life. I think of many years of happy giggles from Jane and her sisters… a lot of memorable adventures in the minivan… I think of supernatural financial provision. I think of many late nights, feeling so desperate for God, yet sensing a nearness to Him that we would not know had it not been for her diagnosis and our humble questions. When I think of our life I think of “abundance”. And that is in fact what God promises us. Yes, even us who have been sideswiped or inconvenienced by a special needs diagnosis. 

The author of Psalm 66:12, who we have every reason to assume is King David, explains how God allowed a season of trial for him, but that is not where his story ends! He says, “You made men ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water, Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.” The operative words here are, “We went through fire and through water.” A lot of times when you are going through things it can feel like that’s where you’re going to live forever! But that’s just not what the Bible says. God says that not only are we merely walking through these trials, but we will be led out and into a place of abundance. That word abundance in the Hebrew is “revayah”, meaning “well-filled and running over”. Overflowing with goodness, provision, strength and whatever else it is you need for this journey. That is a wonderful assurance for the weary heart! You will be led out! Not only will particularly rough seasons end, but they will end in abundance. 

Jesus reassures His disciples in the New Testament, right before they get in the boat and experience that very famous storm (that Jesus sleeps through), “We are going to the other side.” He never intended that they would perish in the waves; He intended to take them to the other side! Now, we don’t know what trials will come, and they will certainly last for different times for different people, but we do not have to wait until our prayers are answered to see the fullness of God’s abundance. 

I used to think that once our trial ended, then we would see God’s goodness, but now, I am convinced otherwise. The goodness can start right here and now – in the middle of questions, and in the middle of all the pivoting and rearranging that a diagnosis requires. This place, right here, can be a place of abundance. And if it doesn’t feel abundant now, you can be sure, it doesn’t end here, He will bring you through it!

Scriptures: Jeremiah 9:6, Philippians 4:19, Acts 2:44-46, Malachi 3:10-12, Proverbs 11:24

Irrational Generosity

In 2021, Jane was 7 and we could feel the impending need for an adaptive vehicle in our future. Unfortunately, those vehicles are very expensive, so we kept wondering how God would come through when the time came to purchase. Around the same time, Rich and I recorded a podcast for special needs families during the Covid-19 pandemic. One of the families who listened to our podcast ended up losing their daughter at only 6yrs old to her disability. Having never met us in person, they reached out to us on Instagram and, long story short, offered to give us their adaptive vehicle that once belonged to their daughter. We couldn’t believe their generosity in their time of loss. But their heart for giving will stick with us forever and remains a huge blessing to our family. 

When we experience tragedy, or are living in the day-to-day of caregiving, it can feel a lot like we are operating in survivor mode. Our tendency can be to do the bare minimum, just trying to get through the day, but we were never meant to live in scarcity, hoarding resources and feeling like we’re scraping by spiritually and physically. Thankfully, we serve a dynamic, abundant, and generous Father. He loves to pour out on His obedient kids. There is a reason that the prophet Isaiah calls him “Mighty God” AND “Everlasting Father”, because any good father loves giving good gifts to His kids. But God doesn’t end it there – He offers us the opportunity to partner with Him in this spirit of generosity! 

There have been many occasions in our life that my husband Rich and I have experienced “survivor mode”, wishing we could afford to eat out more, or wondering how we would cover a big expense. It is during these times that we practice a phrase that has yet to fail us: “Exercise irrational generosity!” That means, when we need more, we give more away. Backwards, isn’t it? For our society, yes, but for God’s economy, no! We have consistently unclogged the drain of blessing in our lives and successfully battled scarcity by actively searching for ways to be generous. 

It can feel scary to step out in financial and material generosity when you don’t feel like you have enough, but God promises to meet you on the other side of your sacrifice. Ask yourself where you can give. Ask who you can give to. Hear Him answer you and watch Him exceed your expectations. He has done it for us, time and time again. Like the family who gave us the van we needed, you can see abundant fruit through your life, even in the middle of tragedy.

Scriptures: Exodus 16:13-18, John 1:1-4, John 6:30-35

The Bread of Life

The wilderness of caregiving can be a silent one. It can feel like everyone else is hearing God clearly, showing up to church early, joining Bible studies, getting that front row seat, and living the abundant life (which is really hard to do when you are on a medication schedule, have a child with behavior issues, or operate a G-tube with a mind of its own). It’s easy to perceive others as experiencing a relationship with God that appears to be unmarred by distraction or disappointment, while we special needs parents have to sort through a list of let-downs before we even get to the fun stuff in our time of private prayer! 

In the wilderness, the Israelites were given manna, an unusual substance from heaven, to feed them every day on their journey. Manna was not to be stored up; just enough was to be set aside for one day use. I used to think, that much like the manna, “a little bit” was all I needed when it came to God’s presence and His Word. If I could just get to church, or just get one Scripture into my brain, or just hear one worship song, then that was enough for me. True, God is faithful to give us just what we need, and one word from Him can last us a long time. But when Jesus came, He not only fulfilled everything promised to the Israelites in the Old Testament, He also surpassed it! Jesus is referred to as the “Bread of Life” that will never run out, and He is also one with the Word of God. So I no longer have to scrape by for a scrap at the table – I can partake of the Bread of Life which is the abundant sustenance that I need for the journey! 

I encourage you to let the Word of God soak over you at home. Whether in audio form or posted to every wall in your house. One word is enough, but there is so much more available to us through Jesus. Instead of opting for social media or television or food to “numb out”, try partaking of the Bread of Life. Turn on worship music… journal through the Psalms… try out a Bible memorization app on your phone. He doesn’t just want to give you life for the day that leads to lack; He wants to give you abundant sustenance that energizes you for the journey!

Scriptures: Psalms 126:1-6, Genesis 13:14-17, Matthew 25:14-30

Dream Again

Caregiving for a special needs child, or any loved one for that matter, can be unpredictable in its ebbs and flows of events and emotions. You never know when you’re going to have a great season or a disappointing one. It’s good to acknowledge the emotions as they come and not pretend your way through, which will only lead to burnout and unhealthy behavior. But there is a time, just as David talked about, where you are led out of a particularly hard season, and you are able to dream again. 

When I found out that my daughter’s disability would require me to quit my job so I could be her full-time caregiver, it felt like a cosmic joke, if I’m being really honest. I was a college graduate, with a gift for public speaking and a passion for writing. I did not understand, and I still grapple with, why God would give me a particular set of passions and desires, if most of my time was to be spent caregiving. I used to think that these things were in competition with one another, but now I know different. 

God never wanted me to put my dreams on hold; He wanted me to dream through the unexpected. The nuances of your story are something that only you and your family possess. The diagnosis you’re encountered with does not negate the talents God gave you, it gives them power! When you’ve been locked into caregiving tunnel vision, you realize that the ability to dream is actually a gift. A gift, that I believe, God wants to give you even today. 

Begin to ask God what areas of your own passions you’ve neglected. In what measure, or by what method, can you pick up that passion for even five minutes today? What part of your story could actually mix with your talents and bring someone else, hope, life and joy? Pick up the paper, pencil, instrument, sport, hobby, or creation again. Consider this your sign to be a little selfish and dream again, because it may just be someone else’s greatest gift!

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Psalms 18:32-34, Proverbs 31:17

Body, Mind, Spirit

It is no secret to those closest to us that my husband and I are kind of passionate about health and fitness, but it wasn’t always this way. We enjoyed our fair share of lazy days and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos back in the day! But we’ve spent a solid 8 years learning what exercises we enjoy and how to make healthy eating practical for our family, because we quickly learned as special needs parents that we are in this for the long haul! Not only that, but the mental effect of exercise on depression, anxiety and overwhelm are incredible, and have helped us tremendously. 

I often wonder why everyone wouldn’t tap into their body’s natural ability to create these happy chemicals, but I find exercise is often people’s last priority for the day. Usually because they feel that if they can’t give everything to dieting and exercise, then they may as well give nothing. But this all or nothing mentality is not only not sustainable, it is not the abundant life! It will leave you feeling like a failure, and you are not a failure! 

Did you know studies are showing that a 15 min walk after each meal is more effective than one long 45 min walk? What’s my point? Little deposits add up! And here’s my spiritual component for you: God desires you to feel awesome – mind, spirit AND body. He created you to enjoy the undefiled food of the garden. He wanted you to relish in the feeling of a calm stroll with nature all around you. That’s how He designed it in the first place! Thinking that you have to kill yourself 6 days a week in the gym for 1hr at a time and eat only tofu is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about making small, compounded decisions that leave your body energized, your mind clear, and your soul at ease. Not so you can enter a body-building competition, but because God desires that you can endure the journey you’re on with strength. 

Feeling energized is not for other people. It’s for you. Don’t try to think about throwing away all the food in your fridge this week (your kids will come after me). Start thinking about the one meal this week you’re going to make instead of ordering out. Decide that you’re not going to sit on the couch or scroll on your phone after lunch – take a walk around your block or place of work instead. You are investing little deposits into your bank of health. You are investing in the long haul. You are a person of holistic balance and abundance. You deserve to feel the fullness of God’s design for you, even in your body.