As a pastor, I was ashamed I had anxiety and depression. Too many told me it was a faith issue, a sin issue, or both. In the end, I realized it was much bigger than that. Moreover, I came to understand that Jesus didn’t want to condemn me; He wanted to help me. I hope you enjoy this 5-day devotional called “Stressed, Depressed, Hot Mess!”
Cornwall Church
Day 1
Scriptures: Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 43:1-2, John 8:36, Matthew 28:20
FREAK NOT
I felt the panic attack coming. Tightness in the chest. Check. Inability to focus. Check. Sweaty palms. Check. Heart rate up. Check.
For those of you who’ve been there, you know that one of the worst feelings on the planet is when you’re in the midst of a panic attack.
I’ve had more than a handful in my life. But, as I’ve dealt with my anxiety, I’ve realized this truth: Scripture has a way of defusing it. When I quote or read Scripture, especially during an attack, God calms me. The demons flee when they hear the Word of God.
God’s Word, the Bible, calms the anxious heart and pulls the lowly spirit out of the depths of depression. It does more than that, though.
The Bible is God’s voice. When we fall under God’s authority in all areas of our lives, God transforms us in ways unimaginable.
God’s got a lot to say about that.
Paul writes these words to his young protégé, Timothy, to remind him of the importance of Scripture:
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip His people to do every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Paul wants Timothy to remember that God’s word is life-changing and useful for us to walk closely with Him. Many of us forget that Paul was referring not only to the letters written by his fellow disciples but the books of the Old Testament.
From hundreds of prophecies fulfilled to archaeological evidence that science supports, the Bible has stood the test of time. Our job is to read it, study it, wrestle with it, and use it to transform our lives, especially as we deal with being stressed, depressed, or a hot mess.
If you suffer from panic attacks, attack back:
1) Breathe.
2) Remind yourself that you’re not dying, that this is a panic attack.
3) Turn on some Christian music that you know has soothed you in the past.
4) Pray Scripture promises: Isaiah 41:10; Isaiah 43:1-2; John 8:36; Deuteronomy 31:8.
5) Picture that calm place in your mind, and breathe.
Day 2
Scriptures: Psalms 62:5-8, Deuteronomy 31:8
SOUL THIRST
Anxiety and depression often walk arm-in-arm down the same street. Most of my issues, I thought, stemmed from anxiety. That is until the late spring of 2020. As an associate pastor of a large church stuck in the COVID lockdown, I struggled in my spirit.
- Our state was in a shelter-in-place mode, meaning I was isolated.
- Political turmoil and racial tension rocked our area, meaning I was anxious and depressed over things I couldn’t control.
- I was receiving a lot of criticism about how our church was dealing with the lockdowns, meaning I felt attacked.
I was at the beginning of a head-on collision with a depression episode.
Whether your depression is chronic or episodic, you’ve probably been there, too. The wet blanket descends on you, weighing you down. You don’t know where the feeling came from, but it paralyzes you. Not out of fear. Out of despair. You weep over nothing. You overreact or underreact to things going on around you.
You feel, in a word, helpless. As a result, unhealthy thoughts travel through your unhealthy mind.
The beauty about Jesus is that He meets you right in the midst of your pain and suffering. Sometimes, though, He feels far away. Really. Far. Away.
And that’s what’s happening with our psalmist in today’s verses.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2)
The psalmist is suffering from soul thirst. He’s crying out to the living God as if he’s lost in a desert that has not a drop of water. Maybe you haven’t been depressed, but we all go through those dry seasons in which we can’t hear God.
If that’s you today, give yourself the freedom to simply sit in your soul thirst. Own it. Breathe in the words of this entire psalm. Be raw and real, praying your soul thirst to God.
I once heard someone say that God isn’t here to shame us. He’s here to help us. So as you pant for the living water, Jesus, know that He will not leave you nor forsake you. He’s right here with you.
Day 3
Scriptures: Psalms 46:1-3, Daniel 1:8-18
FIGHT THE BEASTS
Anxiety and depression are beasts. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep. And that’s what’s going on with the writer of Psalm 42. He says these words:
“My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” (Psalm 42:3)
The psalmist is on the Salty Tear Diet. As we look at his predicament, it’s safe to say that he’s not resting. A lack of sleep leads to irritability and an inability, over time, to make wise decisions. Beyond that, our stressed/depressed/hot mess of a writer has critics shooting spiritual arrows at him as they attack the one thing he needs most, faith.
Anxiety and depression are complex issues because face it, we’re complex human beings. Thanks to a fallen world, there are multiple causes of anxiety and depression. It’s easy to simply say, “It’s a faith issue” or “It’s a sin issue” without really understanding the complexity of it all.
We tend to forget how the body and the spirit work hand-in-hand when combating invaders such as anxiety and depression. Let me give you a brief example found in the book of Daniel. You may remember the story but if not, allow me to refresh your memory.
Daniel and his teenage friends were exiled to Babylon with the majority of their compatriots. Talk about angst and depression. They’d seen the horrors of war up close and personal. They’d been led as slaves to a foreign land, separated from their families. Then they were thrust immediately into Babylon’s Got Talent.
The good news is that they were chosen to be wise men in the king’s palace. The bad news is that life turned their world upside down. They were a stressed, depressed, hot mess trying to figure out this new life.
Don’t miss the significance of this. God placed it on Daniel’s heart to resolve to eat a nutritional diet. The result was a major difference between Team Daniel and the rest of the wise men.
What you eat can affect your mind and body, which can affect your spirit.
Remember, the body and spirit work hand-in-hand. Nutrition and exercise help greatly in crash prevention and eventually crash recovery. Combine those two things with Scripture reading and prayer. Over time, those healthy habits will help you fight the beasts.
Day 4
Scriptures: Psalms 42:1-11, Psalms 33:20-22
END OF THE ROPE
As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression, I’ve found the psalms medicinal and life-changing. They’re real. They’re raw. They’re rejuvenating. The beauty of Psalm 42 is how the writer speaks from his gut. He laments as he remembers. Look at verse four:
“These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.” (Psalm 42:4)
At one point, the writer (a member of the group of Temple musicians and assistants known as the Sons of Korah) would not only attend worship at the Temple in Jerusalem, he’d lead the people into the Temple. He experienced incredible joy as he worshiped with fellow believers. Now he was no longer there, and it hurt him to the depths of his spirit. He was, in a word, isolated.
When we’re dealing with a season of depression, our natural bent can be to isolate ourselves. When I hit rock bottom in the late spring of 2020, so much was happening. A big issue was that we weren’t meeting as a church. I didn’t realize how much I needed face-to-face time that you simply can’t replicate online. Because of the shelter-in-place order, I couldn’t go into the office.
I was isolated.
Psalm 42 was a lifeline for me as I “poured out my soul” to God. I hadn’t forgotten God, and I knew He hadn’t forgotten me. I was in despair. I was at the end of my rope. That was the place from which I prayed.
A key lesson I learned at that time was this: God does some of His best work when you’re at the end of your rope.
God reminded me that my isolation was unhealthy; that I needed to reach out to a couple of trusted friends and ask for their help. As always, my incredible wife, who knows me better than anyone else, ensured I wasn’t isolated.
Through prayer, which was simply, “God, help me,” God showed up as I waited on Him.
It’s hard to do anything when you’re a stressed, depressed, hot mess, let alone pray. But God hears our prayers in all of our times in our lives, especially in the times of anguish when all we can pray is “help me.”
Day 5
Scriptures: Psalms 46:10-11, Matthew 11:28-30
COME TO ME
When we hit the depths of depression or crash from an anxiety attack, we can feel lower than a catfish’s belly button. (I know, catfish don’t have belly buttons, but they’re bottom feeders. You get the picture).
In Psalm 42, the writer owns his depression. He speaks to his soul and says, “Why are you so dark?” Look at verse five and the first part of verse six:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5-6a)
The writer is in the pit of despair. He has no hope. His gut’s growling. Yet it’s as if that still, small voice whispers in his ears, “You’re going to be okay. You need to refocus. Your hope can’t be in yourself. It has to be in God.”
Our souls were created to be filled with Jesus. He gives us health professionals, medicine, godly men and women, and the Church to lower life’s volume or pick us up when we’re down. But none of those can replace Jesus. That’s why His invitation to us is so important as we deal with anxiety and depression. Look at that invitation:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Jesus is always there with you through your highs, lows, wins, and losses in life. He simply invites you to come to Him. He’s not there to shame you, to tell you that you’re less than something because you’re suffering. Instead, He’s there to provide you hope, love, rest, and relief.
I picture Him standing there with two nail-pierced arms open wide, lovingly looking at you or me, saying, “I know you’re going through something rough. Come to Me. You’re tired; life has put something on you that you can’t do by yourself; that you didn’t bring on yourself. Only I can give you that true rest that you need. Do you want rest for your soul? I promise you that I’ll give it to you. I’m gentle, loving, patient, and kind. Let me help you.”
Will you come to Him?