Scriptures: Psalms 139:13-14, Philippians 4:8, 1 John 4:4

You Are Not a Fraud 

Why do we disqualify ourselves from being successful before we even start? Who told us to doubt our abilities and our power? What could we accomplish if we held up our heads and believed that we have everything we need inside us to succeed? The possibilities would be endless! 

I often feel that because I’m so timid and introverted, I don’t deserve to speak in front of audiences and share with others in such an influential way. Yet here I am, talking to large groups of women on a regular basis! 

Whatever negative messages may be troubling you, stressing you, or discouraging you today, know those voices are not your own. Those are the voices of all the people who have criticized or doubted you. The people who told you that you didn’t belong in the room. The people who told you that you were too loud, too opinionated, or too much. The people who suggested that you pursue an easier career path because you’ve got enough to take care of at home. 

Listen to me: you deserve to be here. You deserve to explore opportunities that intrigue you. You deserve to have a life and interests outside of your home. Don’t let imposter syndrome win. You are not a fraud. You know how hard you’ve worked and all the energy you’ve invested. Do not waste time worrying about the worst-case scenario. 

Focus your thoughts and your energy on the best possible outcome: you and your family are thriving, your mental health is flourishing, your marriage is full of love and contentment, your children are healthy and cared for, your friendships are genuine, your business is successful, and your every need is met. 

Believe it. Meditate on those things that make you smile, and fill your heart with wonder. Your life will line up with your thoughts. Make sure those thoughts are exactly what you want your life to be. 

You are not a fraud. You have put in the work. Do not waste precious energy doubting your worth or capabilities. You deserve to be here.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for creating me with a purpose and for helping me find success in the big and little challenges in life. Please continue to remind me that I am your creation and that I am worthy. Amen.

Scriptures: Galatians 6:9, Matthew 11:28, Psalms 55:22

You Are Not Broken 

Feeling overwhelmed? Of course you are! I am! Look at the number of things on our plates. I have a family who wants to spend time with me, clients who expect a focused counselor, a house to clean, homework to oversee, friends who deserve more than sporadic texts, and a refrigerator that refuses to stock itself. We say we’re “tired,” but is that the whole truth? Of course not! “Tired” is the easy answer. “Tired” is the simple answer. “Tired” is the palatable, socially acceptable answer that everyone will understand, nod and sigh in agreement with, and not ask any further questions about. But it doesn’t even begin to describe the way we’re really feeling these days. 

We are human beings experiencing many of the same struggles and having the same challenges. Let’s be transparent about that. Let’s share our stories so that we don’t feel alone. So that we can support each other and create safe spaces and communities where we can be vulnerable with each other. Let’s take off the superhero cape and just be human. 

Sometimes, self-care looks like taking time to nurture your goals and passions without comparing them to anyone else’s. Don’t downplay your accomplishments because they look different than someone else’s. 

Can’t run a 5K? At least you made it to the gym three times this week. Didn’t get to go shopping this weekend? Don’t forget: you were able to pay all your bills this month. Didn’t get all the laundry done? But you cooked for your family, and your kids are still alive. Didn’t start that blog or online boutique like you planned this week? You did get your logo finished and your business cards printed. Didn’t win the Superwoman Award this week? (By the way, there is no such thing!) But you tried your best, you took deep breaths, and you didn’t take your frustrations out on innocent people. Give yourself some credit. 

You are winning. And that is worth celebrating! 

Be gentle with yourself. The level of perfection you’re trying to achieve is unrealistic and unhealthy. Adjust your expectations and allow yourself to be proud of what you have accomplished.

Prayer

Father, I often feel so tired, and I forget to turn to you for guidance and strength. Please be with me as I face challenges, and please help me be gentle with myself. Amen.

Scriptures: Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 6:2, Hebrews 13:16

Show Up 

I can be a blessing to others while waiting on my own blessing. 

Being able to shift my perspective is a powerful self-care strategy for me. Far too often, I get caught up in my wants and needs, trials and tribulations, failures and fears, and I forget to consider that the people around me are dealing with their own stuff. When I’m preoccupied with everything in my life, it’s easy to feel hopeless and burnt out. This is my signal to shift gears, to find something to focus on other than myself. To consider that doing something thoughtful for someone else and seeing them smile can infuse joy into my day. 

We can’t help others when our focus is solely on ourselves and our present circumstances. We never know how close someone is to giving up or giving in. Sometimes we just have to show up for each other, because most people don’t know what they need when they’re in the midst of falling apart. Look around. If you see a friend who is struggling, consider some of these suggestions: 

• Send or drop off dinner. 

• Send a handwritten card in the mail. 

• Drive carpool for them or take the kids on a Saturday. 

• Offer to sit and listen. 

• Validate (and don’t minimize) their feelings. 

• Suggest they talk to a doctor or a mental health professional, and offer to go with them. 

You can even volunteer to serve at a charity in your community. Local food banks and community gardens are great places to start. 

Remember, you can be a light for someone even when things in your own life don’t look very bright. Showing up for others is often part of your own self-care. 

You can still show up for others when things in your own life are challenging. You don’t have to be perfect to love and support the people in your community.

Prayer

Father, I want to be a blessing for others. Please help me identify opportunities where I can share your love, and please guide me as I show up for and encourage those around me. Amen.

Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Colossians 3:17, Psalms 100:4

Practice Thankfulness 

Sometimes we replay our problems over and over again so much that we accidentally make it a habit. Coffee dates with our girlfriends unintentionally morph into dialogues about how stressed we are; how the kids are tearing up the house; how our partners are less than perfect; how “if my boss makes one more sideways comment, they can have this job”; how “so-and-so is always smiling in my face, but she’s so fake because I know that cryptic IG post she made was about me”; how there’s never enough money to cover the bills; and the list goes on and on. 

What if we were thankful for all the blessings and joy in our lives despite the problems we’re facing? What if we were grateful for the problems—the messy kids, the imperfect spouse, the job, the option to unfollow a “friend”? When we practice gratitude, it opens our hearts to believe we will always have what we need, exactly when we need it. 

That’s when you must choose to shift your focus to the gifts that are so generously scattered throughout the moments of your life. Like how my daughter, Bean, peeks into my office after school to check on me and massages my shoulders when I look stressed. How she’s the perfect big sister and helps so much with her brother. How she used her own money to buy me a slice of red velvet cake from the bake sale because she knew it was my favorite. 

What you focus on is what you see. The thoughts you recirculate through your mind are the ones that dictate your mood. If you are ungrateful, you will constantly have something to complain about. Appreciate what you have, and you will attract more positive things into your life. Practice thankfulness. 

Approach today with a mindset of gratitude. Be grateful for what you have, who you are, what you’re learning, and where this journey is taking you.

Prayer

Father, you have surrounded me with blessings, and I am so thankful for them. Please help me see how you have been at work around me, and please help me feel gratitude even when I am going through difficult seasons. Amen.

Scriptures: 2 Thessalonians 3:16, John 14:27, Romans 8:6

Prioritize Peace 

I once attended a silent retreat in a beautiful, rural community right outside of Atlanta. The breathtaking views immediately brought peace to my mind and body. To get eight full hours of silence on top of that was just icing on the cake! My introverted heart was doing cartwheels in my chest! What an absolute dream! 

I spent the entire day focused on wellness: walking the labyrinth, meditating, journaling, deep breathing, and observing nature. I felt so calm, relaxed, and fulfilled. The nagging anxiety I usually experience was nonexistent. My mind was clear. My body felt lighter. 

As the day came to an end, I realized I would have to leave this sacred space and return to my “normal” life, where I could not control the sensory input and noise levels that overstimulated me every day. How do I preserve my peace when others enter my environment? How do I maintain a sense of calm when I have to interact with other people? Is it even possible? Instead of giving in to panic, I took some deep breaths and allowed myself to consider that peace was possible. That was the first step—acknowledging that peace is available to me. 

The key to prioritizing peace is to be intentional about having peace within you, even when chaos swirls all around you. How do you do that? You concentrate on your breath. You place your hand over your heart and close your eyes. You think calming thoughts. You become the epicenter of the stillness you desire. 

Make peace a priority. Peace is grounding. Whenever possible, separate yourself from people and situations that withdraw more than they deposit into you. Speak positive words over yourself and repeat them often. Believe you can maintain the peace that supports your mental health and well-being. 

Your mind is your sanctuary. Do not allow others to come in and disrupt the peace you have worked so hard to obtain.

Prayer

Lord, thank you for promising to give me peace, and please help me live in that peace when life gets stressful. Amen.