Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Learn to discern when to say ‘No.’

Our purpose in life is not to be everything to everyone. Sadly, many of us have felt that way. We have felt we must fix it all – for our children, loved ones, ourselves. But the truth is, we can’t. We can’t fix the world, our kids, coworkers, family, etc. We cannot even fix ourselves! The weight of the world is not ours to bear! It is the Lord’s weight. His yoke is easy. With Christ alone, do we accomplish anything? The Holy Spirit is the fixer. We are not. He is the maker of the world go-round. Not us. Sometimes, the weight of single parenting can feel heavy when balancing work, parenting duties, church attendance, friendships, finances, and so on. But Jesus’ burden is light. Understanding the difference between an assignment from the Lord and a distraction by the enemy is critical. Enter discernment. We must learn to hear the voice of God, using wisdom and discernment on where our yeses and nos should be and the key areas that can be dangerous pitfalls to exhaust us. 

Here are some areas in life where we must be certain we are exercising discernment and wisdom for our yeses and nos: 

1. Our children. First, we must be realistic about what can be done. There are times in our parenting journey when there is simply not enough time in the day to get soccer practice, homework, two jobs, and dirty dishes done. Sometimes, our no is in exercising wisdom that we do not have the margin to get it done. We often leave no room for the Lord when we overbook our schedules. Our children do not receive devotionals at home. We rush out the door without praying. We are not able to slow down and teach our children to bask in His presence. This is what matters. 
2. Friends. The Lord made us for relationships, no doubt. And the Word says He puts the lonely in families. Some of our greatest fulfillments in life may very well be our friendships. However, it is essential to know when seasons have started and equally important to know when they have ended. While some friends are there for a lifetime, other people in our lives are meant for only a season. Use discernment about who is in your life and whether they should be. Too often, our exhaustion – both spiritually and physically – is in exerting time, energy, and headspace to a relationship that the Lord called us to end a long time ago. It doesn’t mean God doesn’t love that person or they didn’t bring value during a season of friendship. It just means the Lord has prompted you to move on. 
3. A future spouse. Most single mothers will eventually marry, statistically speaking. Perhaps more than any other, the thought-life surrounding a future mate can be exhausting. Will I ever find the one? Will someone want me as a single mom? Are there any good men left? Some allow their fear of the future to exhaust them. Others allow consuming thoughts about timing to be an energy zapper. Still yet, some of you may have entered into a romantic relationship that the Lord never ordained, and it has extracted much from you, as you operate in disobedience. Discernment and wisdom through the power of the Holy Spirit give us real-time instruction. The Holy Spirit was sent as an advocate to lead, guide, and direct. The problem with many of us is that we ignore His prompting. We get overworked, overwhelmed, and sometimes out of sync with God’s will for our lives because we have ignored the instruction of the Holy Spirit. Let your yes be yes and no be no. When something is unsettled in your spirit, the Lord is guiding you away. There is much rest when we are at peace in our souls. 

Points to Ponder: 

• Is there someone who came to mind that you may need to exclude from your life in this season? How do you know? 
• Are there some activities in your life that the Lord never gave His permission for you (or your children) to participate in, but you feared saying ‘no’? How can you correct it now? 

Scripture: Galatians 6:4-5

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s exhausting.

Many single moms want to be married one day. There are many married moms, sadly, who want to be single. Some older women wish they were younger. And younger girls who wish they were older. Many of us yearn to be thinner, wealthier, or more influential. We yearn for our children to be older so they can do more for themselves or younger because we miss them. This is because we have not learned to get our satisfaction in Christ alone. We think the bank account size, kids’ performance, new job, degree, dress size, or new husband will fix discontentment. It will not. Comparison is a thief of all joy and gratitude. 

In our daily Scripture, we see Paul writing to the Galatian church, telling them to “keep their eyes on their own paper” in so many words! God has called each of us to a life built for us. We must run our race. God has a purpose to prosper us, giving us a future and a hope. He has anointed us for tasks, given us our children, and gifted us with unique skills. His timing is perfect. He gives beauty in the most devastating of ashes. We don’t have to rush seasons, comparing our lives to others. We don’t have to secretly yearn for what someone else has. The Lord has a plan for us. His blessings are plentiful. Comparison is exhausting. Jumping into someone else’s race will only leave us limping and deeply exhausted. 

Comparison will steal your joy! It will make you feel like you are on a hamster wheel and can’t get ahead. Don’t look at what she has, what she’s doing, or what she’s accomplishing. Don’t look at how her kids perform at school. Focus on the Lord. He will give instructions for your life that create contentment, peace, and joy. Here are some ways to do that. 

1. Be grateful. The Lord has been good. He has kept you when you couldn’t keep yourself. He has given health and peace. He has provided a place to live and clothing. He has given friendships when you felt alone. He has provided a family that stuck close during a devastating loss. He has provided meals when you couldn’t afford them yourself. He offered a place to lay down in the greenest of pastures when you saw chaos ensuing. Our God is faithful, everlasting, and the giver of life and hope. If we sit down and take inventory, God’s track record has always been good. Have you focused on His provision and goodness or an endless list of wants and needs? Take the time to rejoice today in the goodness of God. 
2. Grow in confidence. What does God say about who you are? Has a lack of confidence in Him made you insecure? Have you focused on the temporary, carnal things of this world to define you? Has past trauma stripped you of your confidence? Has insecurity caused you to compare yourself to others, convincing yourself you’ll never be enough? Take the time to list what the Lord says about you – not what you have said about yourself, not what others have spoken over you – what the Lord has said. 
3. Rejoice when others get blessed. Learn to be happy for others when they are receiving blessings. There is always a reaping and sowing season. You may be in the midst of sowing good seeds right now, and they are simply seedlings beneath the surface. You see no evidence of the future fruit they will yield. The fruit is coming. Rejoice now for others as they are in their reaping season. God is not sitting in Heaven worried that He’ll run out of supply or blessing. We can rejoice with our friends as they marry, secure a new job, move into a lovely home, or have children who achieve great milestones. We can rejoice when someone’s ministry grows more quickly, or their book is published first. The Lord has a lane for us, and we can rejoice knowing that our victory will be in His timing and way. 

Points to Ponder: 

• Are there times when you have felt jealous as you looked at others’ lives? How did it make you feel? How might you combat that in the future? 
• Make a daily list of 3 things you are grateful for that happened each day. This simple habit creates a heart posture of gratitude.

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Stay connected to others; they make life meaningful.

One of the biggest components of our ministry here at The Life of a Single Mom® is ensuring that no single mom walks alone. Now, we know that no single mom actually walks alone because Christ walks with her, but we also work hard to ensure mothers understand the importance of building a tribe. It’s been said that the world has never been more connected (digitally), and we have never been less connected physically. We have instantaneous access to chats, direct messages, and online ‘friends’ but often lack the meaningful connection that builds lifelong friendships. And the lack of real, authentic relationships leaves us exhausted, as we fear we carry life’s burdens alone. 

Connection takes intention. It is doubtful that the Lord will randomly rain friendship manna from Heaven onto your doorstep. The connection will take some effort. Yes, many moms are tired. Yes, we juggle many duties. But the joy of friendships sparks an excitement in our lives that cannot be found elsewhere. Attending the church gatherings when tired often results in great new friends, laughs, and joy we didn’t expect. 

It is important not simply to connect with others but to stay connected to the “right” people. Find the people who listen, show up, remain honest (even when it’s hard for you to hear), and are growing in the Lord, seeking His face with the same vigor you are. Having trouble finding those people? Here are a few tips: 

1. Get plugged into a church. Online church won’t do. While online services may be convenient during an out-of-town vacation or a sickness, they should never be a replacement for in-person worship. There is nothing like the gathering of the saints. Power and accountability are found in the gathering. New friends can be found there. Prayer partners can become life partners. Have you been hurt by a local church? Find another one. Do not allow Satan to pull you from the gathering. 
2. Join a Bible study. Many of us attend a weekly service in our community, but our engagement ends there. We sit in the same seat in the same area of our local church and cringe when the pastor prompts a time of welcoming others in the service. We sing our three songs, listen to the sermon, and bolt at the first opportunity. It’s time to dig deeper. Engage in mid-week services. Attend the Sunday school class or connect group. Join the cooking or homeless ministry. Areas of service and Bible study groups are an excellent way to find like-minded friends. While the friendships may not forge immediately, stay connected. 
3. Join a Single Mom Support Group. You may think this is the same as a Bible study, and while sometimes it can be, it can also be a new sisterhood of women walking through the same season of life as you. Our ministry has worked with over 2,000 churches nationally to create a specific place for single mothers to fellowship in local community churches. These groups often offer life-giving relationships, networking opportunities, discipleship, and more. When you finish this devotional, be sure to check out The Life of a Single Mom’s website to find a group near you. 

Points to Ponder: 

• Have there been opportunities to gather at your local church that you have avoided? Why? Might attending the events yield more opportunities to form friendships? 
• Consider the people you surround yourself with. How do you feel after having a conversation with them? Do they bring life or death? Are they edifying or discouraging? Are you surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals? 
• How do you currently stay connected to others with intention? 
• Have you ever considered a single moms’ Bible study or support group? Why or why not?

Scripture: Proverbs 3:9

Give the Lord your first fruits.

The biblical principle of first fruits is often associated with money management teachings. And while it certainly can and should be, honoring the Lord with first fruits is about all aspects of our lives. We should honor Him with the first fruits of our time, talent, and treasure. What does the principle of first fruits have to do with battling exhaustion? Everything! When we give of the first fruits of everything we have unto the Lord, He blesses the remainder. This is why there can be seasons in our lives when we have an exponential number of items on our to-do list, and somehow, we navigate it with ease, while other times, the same to-do list can feel exhausting and overwhelming, as if we are sojourning through quicksand, making little headway. 

When the Lord’s blessings are upon a thing, there is an ease to its accomplishment. This is true of our parenting, time, money, friendships, etc. Here are some areas to consider giving of the first fruits of your life: 

1. Time. All of us have equal amounts of time daily. What we do with our time matters. The first fruits of our day should be given to the Lord. To be clear, this isn’t about some religious track record of checking boxes to ensure you are “good with God .”We aren’t trying to earn His love. We are already loved! However, the sacrifice of time given as the first fruit of each day creates tremendous blessing. When we get up thirty minutes sooner (even when exhausted from a crying baby or second job), there is a blessing in that sacrifice. The Lord meets us there. He speaks to His children. He ministers to peace to what could seem like a chaotic day or season. He whispers instructions through His Word. The Lord very often adds time to a day that was surrendered to Him. 
2. Finances. The Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver. He will generously provide all you need as you surrender your finances to Him. As you sow into His kingdom, follow His principles, and steward what is in your hand well, He will provide all you need. There is great comfort in putting your trust in the hands of the One who is faithful, tested, and true. Many single moms are overwhelmed and exhausted because the fruits of their finances have not been surrendered to the Great Provider. 
3. Children. Dedicate your children back to the Lord. Surrender them fully, not partially. Many mothers (single or not) are exhausted from attempting to control their children, navigating their outcomes for them, and hoping to keep them from experiencing consequences. Our children are a precious gift from God. They are His. Like all else in our lives, we are simply stewards. The Lord has trusted you and given you the authority as their mother to raise them in the way that they should go. God loves them more than you could ever imagine. Give them back to God, and allow Him to be in control! Give Him reign to speak to them, teach them, and administer wisdom to you as you parent them. Peace comes in the surrender. 
4. Talents. We are wonderfully and uniquely made. The Lord has given us the skills, talents, and imagination to accomplish much for His glory. We are made to worship Him with our whole being. What talents do you have that might glorify the Lord when surrendered to Him? Are there things you are really good at that you also enjoy doing that may be a blessing to your church, friends, or community? There is great rest in giving of the things we were created to do. For example, for those talented with singing abilities, it is not a burden to minister to others in song. It is actually quite fulfilling. What talents has the Lord given you that may bring joy to you and others to offer up for His glory? 

Points to Ponder: 

• What does your quiet time with the Lord look like currently? Are you distracted, finding your focus split? Do you miss out on the opportunity of His presence and instruction because you wait until you have ‘time’? 
• Are you faithfully and cheerfully surrendering the first fruits of your time, talent, children, and treasure to the Lord? Why or why not? 

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30

Take the time to rest.

Yep, it seems like an easy enough instruction, doesn’t it? But for a single mom juggling multiple jobs and countless hats, it can seem impossible. We’re not talking about physical rest here, although it is essential for your body and well-being. Nope, we’re talking spiritual rest. 

Isn’t it interesting how we have the same tasks week-in and week-out, and sometimes we seem to move through our day and week with ease, but there are other times when we just seem to be drudging through? This is often because there has been no rest in the spirit. Resting is a hard concept for a mom. There is just so much that needs to be done. We balance so many balls in the air. However, our Lord requires to be before Him, rest in Him, and receive the “mounting up on wings like eagles.” The Word tells us not to grow weary in the doing of good. How could that be possible? It is possible because we learn to rest in the spirit, not in the physical. 

Read Hebrews 4. There is a special rest for the people of God. Oftentimes, we are not resting in the spirit. The Holy Spirit is your Advocate, Comforter, and Helper. His fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control. Rest is the spirit includes the following: 

• Obedience – As we obey the Lord, we find rest, knowing He will protect, lead, and guide us. 
• Spiritual habits – As we spend time in His Word, His presence, and His house, we find rest for our weary souls. He speaks, ministers, teaches, and lifts burdens. We begin to experience the peace of God as we sacrifice time to adhere to our spiritual disciplines. 
• Intentionality – As we know, with much else in our lives, rest comes with intention. Sometimes, we simply need to unplug from social media, iPhones, and the demands of our days and weeks and get before the Lord with great intention. We often get babysitters for a girlfriend’s night or date night, but when was the last time you asked for a babysitter to be alone with the Lord and seek His face? The Lord never leaves His daughters dry or thirsty. 

Anyone who enters God’s rest finds comfort in His presence and peace. Take a day off from working. Fill your home with worship music and relax. The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. Just take some quiet time to be in His presence. Even while it was storming at sea, Jesus took a nap. The storms around you are not bigger than your God. Choose rest. Rest in knowing He has them under control. Assess His track record to see that He is good. Know He is working things out for you in a way only He could have. 

Points to Ponder: 

• What are some things that are preventing you from resting? Is it control? Disobedience? Lack of intention? How might you implement the tips from the daily devotions from this week?