Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30

Your life was not intended to operate from burnout.

I was preparing for work one morning when I ripped a contact attempting to get it into my eye. It was my last one, and I didn’t have the money to replace it. I grabbed an old pair of glasses with a prescription that was years too old and made my way to work. When I got there, I sat at my desk alone, and within moments, I lost it. First, there was one tear rolling down my face and then there were hundreds. Once the flow began, there was no stopping it. I sobbed hysterically. It wasn’t the contacts. It was a thousand things that caused my tears. Eye care was just the thing that happened to tip the bucket. I was a young single mom of two children with no money, a broken heart, and little family support. I was drowning in every way. I was desperate for someone to throw me a lifeline. My relationship with God had somehow waned in the distance, and I was in a survival mode that left me empty and broken most days. I felt so very alone. Sound familiar? 

Sometimes, the one little thing is the straw that breaks the proverbial camel’s back. It’s the last thing in a string of things that throws us into all-out panic mode. I’ve been there. Sadly, many of us have learned to function on the brink of burnout much of the time. I’ve faced burnout as a single mom and a married one, a mom of toddlers and a mom of teenagers. The truth is, each season presents its own challenges, and we need to get good at operating from a full cup, not an empty one, not a barely functioning one. Here are a few things I’ve learned through the years that have helped me successfully battle when I was near burnout: 

1. Know your role. When we understand that our role in life is not to be everything to everyone and that we do not have to fix the world, our kids, or our coworkers, great freedom comes. We are not in the business of fixing others. We are in the business of pointing people in the direction to the God who can fix things. Our role in life is to continue to direct people to the Lord as their source of strength, courage, patience, wisdom, and hope. The problem with many of us is that we’ve attempted to step into a role of “fixer” for too many for too long. However, we were never designed to be that, and it’s too big of a weight to bear. Knowing the role we play in others’ lives and learning to establish healthy boundaries are critical to guarding ourselves against burnout. 
2. Stay spiritually healthy. You’ve likely heard it said that you cannot pour from an empty cup. It’s so true. You cannot give when you are not receiving. How can you raise children up in the way they should go, when you aren’t tapped into the source of strength? How can you perform at an optimal level at work, when you aren’t getting daily strategy from the Holy Spirit? Do not disconnect from your spiritual disciplines. Sadly, they can be the first to go when we are tired, frustrated, brokenhearted, or overwhelmed. This is why so many face burnout. We get tired, and we tap out. Stay in God’s word. It is our lifeline to wisdom. Continue with regular church attendance. Pray without ceasing. All the things that have contributed to your Christian journey with the Lord thus far are the very things that will sustain you throughout seasons of extreme hardship. I can’t tell you the number of times I clung to a Bible huddled in a corner on the floor, just crying out, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Your Word is true. Help me. Sustain me. Heal me.” And He was faithful each and every time. 
3. Rest. This was always the hardest for me. I am a natural-born doer. There is always laundry to fold, dishes to wash, a paper to review for work, or homework to help with. And yes, no doubt, as a single mom your task list is endless. However, our identity isn’t in our doing. Our identity is found in Christ and Him alone. And some of us are busy doing because we don’t want to sit and listen to the Lord. We don’t want to feel the pain of the break-up. When we attempt to run faster than we were designed to, we often miss the rest that Hebrews 4:9-11 promise us. There is special rest for the people of God – a rest of knowing He is able, a rest of knowing He won’t leave us, a rest of knowing He is working all things out for our good. There is healing for broken hearts available today. There is rest for weary souls today. 
4. Accountability is healthy. What does accountability have to do with burnout? Much! Your life should be structured in such a way that you are accountable to others such as your pastor, ministry leader, a mentor, parent, or godly friend. Iron sharpens iron. Those who love us will see red flags of over-exertion, isolation, wandering away from our spiritual journey, and much more. Experience and wisdom can be offered from accountability. They offer perspective and instruction. They help keep us safe and healthy. It is God’s design for our life. 

Mommas, you are doing far better than you think. Lean on God for your strength! Go to Him, and He will sustain you and give you rest (see Matthew 11:28-30). These four areas will assist you in guarding your heart and mind against burnout. 

Points to Ponder:

• Have you ever experienced burnout? What was going on in your life at the time? 
• What did you do to overcome these feelings? Were your spiritual disciplines active in your life at that time or were they waning? 
• Do you have healthy accountability in your life now? Why or why not? How might accountability help you guard against burnout? 
• Do you find it hard to rest – away from your phone, responsibilities, media, and others? Why or why not? 

Scripture: Psalms 25:3

The hope of the world was sent so that you may never be hopeless.

The battles you face today may be many – death, lost relationships, addiction, financial ruin, parenting, challenges, and wayward prodigals. Sometimes, the challenges seem insurmountable and threaten to suffocate the life in us at any moment. The weight is heavy, and if we are not careful, we begin to feel hopeless. The hopelessness can creep in with ease. At first, that feels uncomfortable, but sadly, it becomes all too familiar, as we drown in the sorrow of one more disappointment. 

I am writing to all the exhausted, hopeless, and ready-to-throw-in-the-towel mommas out there. I do not know what your no-hope moment looks like. I have no idea how long it took you to get here, how many “no’s” you had to hear, battles you had to fight, or the wounds and scars that you’ve had to hide. I cannot begin to imagine what pushed you to the brink of hopelessness. But there is one thing I do know. I do know what no-hope moments feel like. I know what it is to feel hopeless. When I was sexually assaulted for many years, there seemed to be no hope for rescue. 

When I had two kids outside of marriage as a young single mom, there seemed to be no hope for a loving husband in my future. When my son was an angry teenager who was kicking holes in the walls and lunging profane my words my way, there certainly seemed to be no hope for godliness in his life. 

And yet, I sit here today, full of hope, because I am well acquainted with the God of all hope. He has rescued me time and again, restoring my hope. 

Here are three things you need to know: 

1. The same God that rescued you before will rescue you again. Be encouraged today that if you have a laundry list of miracles in your journal, like I do, it is evidence of the faithfulness of God. He has shown up repeatedly in my life, rescuing me from certain ruin when I was making a poor choice, or restoring hope when I was desperate. He will do the same for you. 
2. It is time for a battle plan. We must stop living like those with no hope. We need a battle plan that will adequately fill us with faith and hope when those no-hope moments arise. We need an encounter with the God of all hope. What is the strategy you are using that fills you with hope? Do you have one? Do not allow the enemy to torment you another second. Turn on the worship music. Praise despite the problems. Get planted in a local Bible study, learn the power of God’s word. Pray night and day, day and night. Get aligned with God’s plan for your life and obey. This is our battle plan. This establishes hope when there seems to be none. 
3. Learn to suffer well. Now, I know that doesn’t sound fun, but listen: I do not know what your no-hope moment looks like today, but my deepest prayer is that your hope would be restored, and that the God of all hope would fill you to overflowing. However, I also pray that you would learn to be patient while you wait on that hope. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.” This is new hope for those who have been suffering for a while. Your little while may seem like a long while right now, but He will restore and strengthen you. Today is the day for renewed hope and rising faith. It’s time to call things as if they were, not as they are. 

Moms, you are not hopeless. You serve the Creator of Heaven. Yes, it may seem dark right now. Yes, the finances may be tight. The children may be behaving poorly. You may still be bleeding from a broken heart, but hear me. Your God owns cattle on a thousand hills, and His word says He will supply all your needs. He is the mender of broken hearts. He is wisdom to raise up those babies well. In Him, you have all that you need. So, wait just a while longer. Just like our Scripture of the day (Psalm 25:3) says, “No one who hopes in you [God] will ever be put to shame.” 

Points to Ponder:

• How has God rescued you in past seasons? Take some time to reflect on all that God has done for you. 
• What is the strategy you are using that fills you with hope? Do you have one? If not, what are some strategies you can implement in order to battle well? 
• Do you look like the world when you suffer? If so, how can you learn to suffer well? What does suffering well look like to you? 
• Is God your source of strength, or do you look to others as your source? How can you train yourself to look to the Lord alone for your source of strength? 

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

It’s time to take care of you!

Mommas, it can feel flippant to talk about taking care of yourself when there are many things demanding your time, even when some could be critical or urgent. But it is not selfish to take care of yourself. In fact, it’s quite the opposite! It is wise. You are the primary caregiver for precious kiddos who need you to be in your best physical, spiritual, and mental health. If you do not take care of your mind, body, and soul through God’s word, instruction, and proper rest, then who will? 

Many mothers do very little to care for themselves, but I find that to be particularly true for single moms. Sadly, many single moms are busy trying to be “super mom” in some attempt to outrun any negative comments, statistics, or extra weight that the single parenting journey might bring. Therefore, you work too hard, run too fast, and do too much with no regard to caring for your mind, body, and spirit. This is not God’s way. 

Today, I am giving you some practical tips and ideas for taking care of you. It’s important to remember to take care of your emotional and physical health, so that you’re in the best position to be there for your children. Here are a few suggestions: 

1. Exercise! I know. I know. Who wants to get all hot and sweaty anyway? However, our physical bodies matter. We see in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (and many other Scriptures) that our body belongs to God. It is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Taking care of our physical bodies is important to the Lord. But it’s also important to our longevity and quality of life. I’m now in my 40s, and it’s become painfully obvious those friends who are taking care of their bodies and the ones who aren’t. I’m at an age where you can either be limping from the bed in the morning with soreness or raring to go to see what life’s adventures may bring. Take the time to stretch, strengthen, and get some cardio going at least 4 times a week. This will go a long way with feelings of exhaustion and mental health. 
2. Sit outside. While such a simple task, getting fresh air is a great way for you to take a mental break, get in some prayer time, appreciate God’s wonderful creation, and get refreshed. How many of us are cooped up at a desk all day, only to go home and stay in the house cooking dinner and cleaning?! Most of us! Set a timer for ten to fifteen minutes and sit outside, observing your surroundings. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face and the way the breeze feels against your skin. Take this time to just truly be present. 
3. Take a hot bath. Moms, who can resist a hot soak in the tub? (Bonus points if you add lavender or vanilla bubble bath!) I know it may not seem like much, but this hot bath time is an excellent time for prayer and reflection. Maybe it will require you to stay up a little later after the kiddos go to bed, but it will be worth it. Spend some time thanking God for all He’s doing, praising His faithfulness and goodness, and honoring His provision in your life. Listen to your favorite Christian speaker or church service. This can be a wonderful time to rejuvenate body and soul. 
4. Spend time in the Word. Let’s be honest, sometimes reading the Bible becomes a box that we check off from a long list of to-dos. Take some time out of your day to really sit down and read your Bible, thinking about what God is revealing to you. When I am committed to daily Bible time, I get the nuggets I need. His word is active, alive, and offers the perspective, wisdom, and refreshing that we so desperately need. 
5. Journal. Write down the events of the day and explain in detail how you felt about them. This is a great way to release stress from the day’s events. It is even more amazing to look back at past journal entries and see all that God has done in your life since then! Be sure to include lists of gratitude and prayer requests in your journal. 

Mommas, I hope these ideas give you some inspiration and the motivation needed to start taking care of your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. You don’t need permission from anyone else to take the time needed to take care of you.

Points to Ponder:

• How can taking care of yourself be a positive model for your children? 
• Which technique above can you integrate into your life this week? 
• What has been the biggest hindrance to your taking better care of yourself? What is within your control? Outside your control? What changes will you make going forward? 

Scripture: Genesis 2:3

Find rest.

Is that a joke? Finding rest as a single mom? Motherhood is a full-time, 24/7, 365 days a year job, and there’s simply no vacation. We love those babies more than anyone else on earth possibly could. They bring us joy and laughter, and our hearts could almost burst when we see them hit a new milestone. Mothers love like no other, but we also serve like no other. The role a mom plays in a household is irreplaceable. Many moms often struggle to find time to sneak in a shower or sit down for thirty seconds, much less actually rest. And if you factor in that single moms have no reprieve offered by a spouse, it’s easy to see why single moms are exhausted. 

As my older children have aged into adulthood, there are a few things I have learned to be critical for me to find rest and be the best mom I can be: 

1. Join a single mom’s Bible study. I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it a thousand more. We all yearn for fellowship. Single moms are no different. Single moms’ Bible studies give single mothers the opportunity to share experiences that are unique to them. They network, share ideas and best practices, celebrate the victories, and pray through the hardships. Single moms’ Bible studies are growing in popularity around the country. Find one near you. This is also a great place to kick up your feet, relax, and enjoy yourself with other adults. 
2. Enjoy a girls’ weekend. When was the last time you actually had a girls’ weekend? Very few of us can remember! Listen, even if you have no extra money and it’s a stay-cation, you can find great rest in gathering with girlfriends at your home for the weekend. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage one another and build each other up. Make it a point to put a weekend on the calendar to host a girls’ stay-cation. Include board games, trivia, karaoke, good food, and plenty of discussion questions. Edify and encourage one another. The Lord made us for fellowship. 
3. Take time for you. I talk to so many single moms who feel guilty for taking any time for themselves. They work full-time and have an endless to-do list, so when they do get a few minutes of downtime, they are convinced they cannot spend it on themselves. Yes, it is crucial that your children receive quality time with you. But also recognize that taking the time to rest, to work on you, and to grow as a woman of God isn’t slighting your children. It actually serves them well to have their mom running at 100% versus barely functioning at 50%. 
4. Relinquish control. Here’s the hardest part of finding rest: it’s in understanding that God promises a special rest for His people, and He doesn’t need our help! Our rest is spiritual. It’s in knowing that God said He won’t abandon us. He said He’s always working things out for our good. He said He’s giving beauty where ashes are. Our controlling natures are exhausting us! We are trying to control our children, our homes, our futures, and we have no control over any of that. Yes, we have a free will and yes, we should be exercising self-control and seeking God’s will. But those things are very different from attempting to control every part of our lives and those around us. Mom, God loves you. Surrender your life to Him fully. Rest in the peace of knowing He is working on your behalf. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. 

While not a comprehensive list of all the ways you can find rest as a single mother, I hope these tips give you the inspiration you need to learn to rest. After all, God Himself rested. If the creator of Heaven and Earth rested on the seventh day and declared it holy (see Genesis 2:3), then give yourself permission to rest too. It’s okay to rest your mind and your body. Your kiddos will be fine… I promise! 

Points to Ponder:

• What does rest look like to you? Write down a list of small ways that you can find rest in your daily or weekly life. 
• Will you commit to gather 3-4 girlfriends for a girls’ weekend? What good could come from it? 

Scripture: Psalms 68:6

Run to God, then to others.

The more hurt I was, the more I wanted to run. The more I replayed the past, the more I wanted to simply stay underneath the covers and not get up in the mornings. It seemed like the harder life was, the more I wanted to isolate myself from others as a young single mom. And do you know what happened? Life got darker and darker and darker. That’s the danger of isolation. When we’re going through hard times, it is easy for us to isolate. We don’t want others around. We don’t want to cry one more tear over the situation. We don’t want to explain our emotions again and again. But the more we pull away, the harder the situation becomes. 

God created us for community. He created us so that others around us can encourage us when we are down. He uses people to speak life into us, when we are too tired, or broken, or emotionally weak, to even read His word. The problem is, when we are really hurting, it can be much easier to isolate than to reach out to others and really address the layers of emotions we’re battling. But the easy route isn’t always the best route. In fact, the easy route is usually the temporary fix anyway. 

For those of you who may be reading this and saying, “I don’t tell anyone what’s going on, because they won’t understand. Or people will judge me.” Don’t believe that! Those are lies the enemy of your soul would whisper into your ear that would keep you doubting and lonely and isolated. Will there be someone on occasion who will not understand or maybe even judge you? Yes, perhaps. But we can’t allow that one person to keep us from creating a community that enhances our lives. I met many of my very best friends at church in Bible studies or through service projects. And it didn’t happen overnight. 

I can remember joining a Sunday School class and feeling very much like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t talk much, and I looked around and feared others were judging me. But I made the decision to go back again and again. Although it took many weeks and months before I felt comfortable, I started attending socials at some of the members’ houses. I would call them occasionally for prayer. I would reach out. See, that’s the key. I didn’t sit back and wait until someone else reached out to me. They may not reach out because they think you don’t want to be reached out to. Sometimes, we will take them not reaching out as a sign that they don’t like us or care or want us around. When in reality, they do care, but they simply don’t know what to say or maybe have an insecurity of their own. I’m so thankful, oh so many years ago that I began to reach out to make friendships within that class. Some of those very people are my best friends now. They came at a time when I desperately needed an ear. And they’ve been with me ever since. 

Moms, I founded an organization back in 2011 called The Life of a Single Mom and we have one mission – to see that no single mom walks alone. Why? Because I’ll never forget having been that lonely, isolated, weary single mom that often felt alone. But you have to do your part! As we’ve been through this week’s devotional together, there are five things we’ve learned: 

1. Take steps to avoid life burnout. 
2. All hope is not lost! We serve the God of all hope. 
3. Take care of yourself in mind, body, and spirit. It all matters! 
4. Resting in the Lord isn’t just about physical rest. 
5. Do not isolate. 

These are just a few of the many ways you can find rest for your weary souls. Please know that there are an army of church leaders, mentors, pastors, and staff that pray for you regularly. Not one tear cried will be lost. Our God sees you. 

Points to Ponder:

• Why do you think we tend to isolate, when we are hurting, instead of running to others for support?