Emotions are very much a part of us and are neither right nor wrong. It’s how we manage them that makes the difference. The Bible warns about double-mindedness and we must be aware of the deception Satan uses to negatively impact our emotional responses in an attempt to breakdown relationships. Over the next 5 days let’s learn some simple steps to help keep us emotionally balanced and healthy.
Malcolm Down Publishing
Day 1
Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 10:5, James 1:5
Battle of the Mind
We are emotional beings and our emotions steer us in many directions affecting our mood, tone, and behavior on a daily basis. Many are taught from childhood that emotions are bad so we invest considerable time trying to ignore them in the hope that they will just go away. They don’t! They simply hang around like annoying back-seat drivers blocking our ability to build and maintain good relationships.
If we allow it, our internal chatterbox voice will transmit negative thoughts about self and the people around us. Such lies impact on our expectations, govern our behavior, and lead us to view experiences in a way that re-enforces those lies. The lies become repetitive loops playing with our thinking and when left unchecked become constraints, choking the abundant life God intended for us. Jesus describes Satan as the ‘Father of lies’ and much of our stress, anxiety, and negative responses to situations flow from believing Satan’s deception.
The good news is that we have Christ in us who combats any scheme that Satan tries to play in our minds. Any time you revisit your past without remembering how God sees and loves you, you subject yourself to the spirit of deception which is why we must guard against having any ‘self-talk’ that differs from God’s truth. When we learn how to understand and develop our emotional responses we increase our ability to be relational.
Day 2
Scriptures: Psalms 94:11, Psalms 51:10, Isaiah 41:9-10
How the battle in our mind began
To understand how the internal chatterbox voice has taken up residence in your thinking—controlling your emotional responses—let’s understand how your belief system is created. At birth we come into the world with a clear belief system, like an empty computer disc and from day one we gather and absorb information: what we hear, see, smell, sense, feel, actual and perceive is stored. We take things personally and at a very early age start to make positive and negative decisions about ourselves and the world around us.
By around seven years of age we have sorted and re-filed all the evidence putting labels—known as triggers—on the drawers of our mind and start the comparison game, judging and comparing how we match against other children. Is she prettier? Is he more popular?, etc. We keep adding evidence to prove we are right and reach adulthood wearing our own designer belief system lenses.
Any negative thoughts about ourselves and the world around us get activated and go on display for everyone around to pick up. Similarly, other people’s belief systems activate and all responses collide with each other creating the ‘mood music’ in the room. As adults, what we sense, feel, hear, and see often has nothing to do with the issue at hand but rather each person’s emotional hurts and setups from the past that have been activated. Those involved often have no understanding of what is actually happening in the room. When a negative trigger is activated it can cause us to hold back, create stress and/or harm our relationships with others and our self.
A trigger consists of a thought: I feel disregarded, inadequate, powerless, or unsupported; plus an emotion: anger, joy, sadness, guilt, shame, or fear. The amount of emotion(s) attached to the thought determines the size and potential impact of the trigger.
Triggers can work like dominoes. Once one is pushed, others follow suit. Allow God to highlight the triggers that have become rooted in your belief system. Be aware when you speak them over yourself. For example I’m so stupid or No one cares. Recognize your triggers and replace them with godly truths.
Day 3
Scriptures: Romans 12:2, Matthew 22:37, 1 John 3:1, Romans 8:35, Ephesians 2:6, Romans 8:17, 2 Corinthians 5:20, 2 Corinthians 3:18
Disarming your Triggers
Begin to choose to see yourself as God sees you and stop buying into Satan’s deception. There will be two or three lies in your pattern of thinking that activate your triggers, usually around fear of failure and fear of rejection. Recognize the lie and practice saying “Request denied“. What you allow yourself to tolerate will dominate your thinking and actions. Ask God, “Is there a lie I’m believing?” As He shares this with you, follow the process of repenting and renouncing the lie. Give the lie to God and ask Him to replace it with the truth. God is kind. He always responds. Be aware of God’s truths that you struggle with as this may give you a good place to start as part of your inner healing and acceptance of your identity. God wants you to receive deep in your heart all the truths—not just a pick-and-mix selection of them.
As you begin to understand the truth of who you are and walk with godly values and beliefs people will draw closer to you and you will be better positioned to positively influence people, places, and situations.
Day 4
Scriptures: Matthew 7:18, 2 Corinthians 5:17-18
Cultivating Emotional Maturity
In Matthew 7:18 we read that ‘A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.’
By changing the inner attitudes of your mind your outer behavior shifts and you become able to maintain relationships far more effectively. Imagine yourself as a tree. All that is above ground level reflects your outward behavior—what is seen by others and yourself. The roots of the tree are your inner beliefs, judgments, and vows said to you or that you have said over yourself that activate your triggers and affect your behavior.
Inner beliefs often flow from childhood rules like ‘There is no such thing as can’t’, or ‘Speak only when spoken to’. To change your negative behavior you must understand what lies at the root, cut it off and replace with a positive behavior so that a positive ‘fruit’ can flourish. Shift ‘Failure is not an option’ to ‘Failure is a chance to learn and grow’.
Our deeply rooted vows are a defense mechanism we employ as a response to negative words, experiences, or situations to protect ourselves from being hurt. They go something like, ‘I’ll never… .’ Such judgments are critical and condemning and reflect a refusal or an inability to forgive, or to ‘trust no one’.
Have a go at drawing your own tree of behaviors, identifying your inner beliefs, deep-rooted vows, and judgments that feed your behavior. Pray into this and ask God what He wants to highlight to bring you to greater freedom. Talk this through with trusted friends who will both encourage and challenge you to liberate yourself from your negative ‘fruit tree’ and construct a more positive one.
Day 5
Scriptures: Colossians 3:2, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 139:23
Achieving healthier balance in life
Triggers and negative behaviors are most likely to go off when you are tired, stressed, and out of balance. Here are just a few ideas to help you build greater balance into your life.
1. Prioritize your time with God. Share the joys and disappointments and hear His loving affirmation over you.
2. List and celebrate successes alongside thanking God.
3. List and celebrate what you are grateful for every day to cultivate a heart of gratitude believing that God is good, even when we face difficult times.
4. Respond to the chatterbox-voice lies with ‘Request denied!’ Replace with positive truths.
5. When people acknowledge you, absorb it and say thank you.
6. Don’t compare self to others. You are unique so run your race as God intended rather than trying to run some else’s.
7. Be honest and authentic with your thoughts and feelings. Masks push people away whereas being real with people enables them to come closer.
8. Learn when to say ‘no’ rather than being over-allowing to others.
9. Have a ‘should’ free day. Prioritize what is really important. The rest can wait.
10. Participate in life: a job you enjoy, friends, family, activities you love.
11. Plan rest time each week; quality time with God, family, and friends, but also time for yourself. Your body is not designed to work 24/7.
12. Consider what you eat and drink and your sleep and exercise patterns. Your body is the temple for the Holy Spirit so make it a pleasant place for Him to inhabit.
13. Plan and take your full holiday entitlement throughout the year and use this time to refresh; no laptop or work mobile because the world of work can carry on without you.
14. Set and write down goals and dream big with God. Our generous Father in heaven loves to lavish His children and it is great fun seeing dreams fulfilled.