The Stressless Life

Introduction 

Scripture: Psalm 139:13-16, Jeremiah 17:7-8, Philippians 4:4-9 

It was a day unlike any other until it wasn’t. I suppose it was one of the most frightening too, although I don’t remember much, given that I was basically unconscious. What I do remember was pretty routine: lots of work, lots of fires that needed to be put out, lots of meetings, and lots of pressure to get it all done as quickly as possible. 

I’d been in the office for about ten hours when I decided to head home for dinner with my family. I didn’t feel like myself. It seemed like I was moving in slow motion, both mentally and physically. I lost all motivation and energy, and I couldn’t even bring myself to lift my arm to bring food to my mouth. I had a hard time following the conversation between my wife and my kids. 

I tried to push through, but by the end of the meal, I was convinced something wasn’t right. I dragged myself up to our bedroom and lay down. I fell asleep instantly. 

I didn’t wake up for eight days. I was diagnosed with the physical version of a mental breakdown. My body just quit. 

I don’t talk about it much. I don’t even like thinking about it. But I want you to understand one important thing about me: I know what it’s like to be stressed. I know how it feels to be crushed by life’s pressures and apprehensions. I believe you do too. Stress is a reality and a burden for everyone. That’s the bad news. 

The good news is that the presence of stress doesn’t need to dominate your life. We can respond to stressful situations in a way that allows us to enjoy life, not just endure it. We can live in a way that’s defined not by anxiety and apprehension but by the unshakable presence of God’s indescribable peace. 

I know that’s possible because I’ve seen it happen in the lives of many people—including my own. After I took my unplanned, unwanted, and unforeseen weeklong nap, a hard reset is what followed. I’m excited to share my journey with you and show you what I’ve learned. I’m also grateful to live and work with people who care about me enough to help me see how badly I was managing the stress in my life—and to help me choose a better path. Let’s get started! 

Prayer: Father, show me where my life holds stress, and teach me how to remove what you do not ask me to bear. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Anxious Living—What Is Stress? 

Scripture: Matthew 6:25-33, Luke 12:25–26, I Peter 5:6-7 

When we start to feel like what’s being demanded of us is more than our resources can cover, that’s when we become stressed, anxious, or worried. Below is a true-to-life definition I came up with: 

Stress: Fearful concern experienced when life’s demands seem greater than my ability to meet them. 

It’s important to understand that stress doesn’t cause itself. Instead, what brings about stress are the various stressors we encounter in our lives. We could say it this way: stressors are what we face, while stress is what we feel. Stressors put demands on us that threaten to overwhelm our resources and can cause us to feel fear and worry and anxiety. They can be expected or unexpected. 

Yet, the apostle Peter writes this: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). Don’t be surprised when you encounter a stressor as this is common to all. 

What distinguishes us as followers of Jesus isn’t the absence of stressors in our lives; instead, our distinction is the unshakable presence of God’s indescribable peace amid these realities. 

So here are the big questions you need to wrestle with for a minute: When you encounter difficult circumstances, do you experience stress or peace? When the pressures of life start to squeeze you, what comes out? Anxiety and worry and fear? Or is it, to use Paul’s terminology from Philippians 4:7, “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension”? Indescribable peace. 

That’s the unshakable promise you’ve been offered. That’s the life I want you to live. You don’t have to be crushed anymore. You don’t have to feel squeezed anymore. Yes, stressors will always be in your life—there will be people, problems, and circumstances that are difficult or troubling or way too much to handle. 

But stressors don’t have to lead to stress. My goal is to help you work through some of the biggest issues causing stress in your life and more. This isn’t some magic bullet to make all your problems go away. That’s not possible! Instead, our days ahead are filled with practical instruction and spiritual inspiration for moving away from anxiety and jumping feetfirst into the kind of abundant, stress-free living that is only available through Christ. 

When have you experienced God’s indescribable peace in your life? What current situations in your life seem greater than your ability to handle? Tell God what feels too much.

Abundant Life—What Is God’s Peace? 

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-9, 2 Thessalonians 3:16, 1 Peter 3:10-11 

Yesterday, we defined stress as fearful concern experienced when life’s demands seem greater than our ability to meet them. Today, we will look at the meaning of peace and define it as The sense of divine favor arising from confidence in God and your relationship with Him.

The keyword here is divine because we’re talking about God’s peace. We’re not talking about the peace that comes from the absence of conflict. Anyone can feel peaceful when everything is going well and there are no difficulties to struggle through. No, we’re talking about a peace that comes from God—a peace that has its source in God and is sown or grown in us through the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. 

Have you seen that kind of peace in action? Have you witnessed people who are going through terrible circumstances, yet seem hopeful? Haven’t you wondered how that could be? How can they be so peaceful when everything around them is collapsing? 

The answer is, they can’t. Not on their own. They’re exhibiting God’s peace. They’ve been filled with the peace that surpasses all comprehension because they pursue His peace. 

Look back at the second part of our definition for peace: it’s the sense of divine favor arising from confidence in God and your relationship with Him. We don’t receive God’s peace because we believe in ourselves or have a good support system. We receive God’s peace when we believe the truth of Scripture that God loves us, knows what’s best for us, and can bring about what’s best in our lives. 

That’s critical because it points to the necessity of faith in our pursuit of abundant life. Abraham was a man of great faith. Scripture says he “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness” (Romans 4:3). Abraham remained confident in God despite his circumstance. He believed God was faithful. That’s why Scripture says that, at the end of his days, “Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people” (Gen. 25:8). 

Abraham left this life completely satisfied with God’s blessings, not because of his ability or his mental toughness. No, he was confident in God and confident in his relationship with God. Therefore, Abraham was filled with peace. 

Prayers: Father, I’m not Abraham, but I am your child, and I desire a faith like Abraham’s. One that believes You, and in believing, my heart is made ready for more of Your peace. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Running Out of Time—How Do I Find God’s Peace in My Schedule? 

Scripture: Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 48:17, John 5:17, 19–20 

We’ll never remove every stressor from our lives, but we can remove some stressors—maybe even a lot of stressors. We can be proactive in limiting the threat that stress poses in our lives. Specifically, in our days ahead, we’re going to examine four factors that are major causes of stress in the modern world: schedules, relationships, decisions, and circumstances that are beyond our control. 

When it comes to our schedules—meaning the amount of time we have and our plan for spending it—there are many places in Scripture to find wisdom and guidance. We can start by looking at how Jesus structured His schedule. 

No person in the history of the world has ever had more to accomplish than Jesus. Wouldn’t you say that’s true? Jesus’s mission was so huge and so cosmically significant that no one else has ever come close—and yet it’s also true that Jesus was never in a hurry. 

The reason Jesus was never in a hurry is that He lived His life in lockstep with the will of God the Father. He was perfectly aware of everything the Father wanted Him to accomplish each day. And, just as importantly, Jesus was perfectly aware of everything the Father wasn’t interested in Him accomplishing. 

How did Jesus know these things? Because He spent time daily with the Father as our passage in John 5 shows us. What was Jesus saying? First, God is working. God has specific plans and purposes He carries out each day, and He wants His children to be involved in those plans. 

Second, Jesus was saying that His primary focus was to understand where the Father was working and how the Father wanted Him to join in His activity with His daily life. “For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing.” Jesus later told His disciples, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). 

Through His fellowship with the Father, Jesus ordered His life around the will of His Father. Communion with Jesus is the building block on which our days are to be built. 

In what way is Jesus the central component of your schedule every day? If that doesn’t describe you, are you willing to make changes? Spend a few minutes confessing how you have omitted God from ordering your days and ask Him to usher you into the habit of daily surrender.

Dealing with People—How Do I Find God’s Peace in My Relationships? 

Scripture: Proverbs 13:20, Matthew 18:15-17, Philippians 2:3 

Here’s the question for today: How do we handle the stressors in our relationships in a way that allows us to receive God’s peace rather than be crushed by stress? The first thing you need to do is examine your own heart, asking the Holy Spirit to point out any areas that need to change. 

Second, recognize that you aren’t always the problem. That’s why Paul says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people” (Romans 12:18). Sometimes, there are things in a relationship that need to change. 

There are three steps you can take to change a relationship that’s causing stress. I am speaking about general relationships here involving friends, coworkers, neighbors, etc. Those more intimate relationships with family members are more complex, so counsel with a spiritual leader or professional counselor may be necessary. 

The first step you should take is what I call “step up.” This means acknowledging the problem and confronting the situation. I’m talking about a biblical confrontation, which means it needs to be rooted in the desire for peace. You and I are called to do everything in our power to pursue peace with other people—even during moments of confrontation. 

The second step is what I call “step back,” which means establishing boundaries for the relationship to prevent stressors from piling up. And by boundaries, I mean you take the lead in that relationship. You determine how often you spend time with the other person and where the relationship goes. Setting boundaries also includes actively declaring what you are and aren’t comfortable with and being firm in keeping those boundaries. It’s always wise to seek counsel as you establish these boundaries because anytime you are emotionally invested in a relationship, your judgment gets blurred and you need the advice of trusted others. 

The final step for changing a stressful relationship is to “step away.” That means either pausing or removing the relationship temporarily or indefinitely. If that sounds harsh, I know. If there’s a relationship that’s producing stress and you have confronted it and invested yourself in trying to set boundaries—if all that has failed, then the wise thing to do is let it go. 

Remember that going through the process of dealing with stress in a relationship is so you can be filled to an even greater level with the peace of God. 

Did any person(s) come to mind during today’s reading? If so, pray for them and for God’s showing you what new boundaries could honor them and yourself.

Choices, Choices—How Do I Find God’s Peace in My Decision-Making? 

Scripture: Proverbs 6:20-23, James 1:5 

Often, our stress about decision-making boils down to our fear of making the wrong decision. Does that mean we need to resign ourselves to becoming stressed out whenever we make big decisions? No! There is a solution. To find it, let’s look at four proverbs: 

• “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory” (Proverbs 11:14). 

• “Through overconfidence comes nothing but strife, but wisdom is with those who receive counsel” (Proverbs 13:10). 

• “One who walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). 

• “A wise person is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless” (Proverbs 14:16). 

Wisdom is the solution. When we have wisdom, we’re able to discern between good decisions and bad decisions—which is a great way to eliminate stressors and experience God’s peace. 

So how do we get wisdom, and how do we make wise decisions? First, we make wise decisions by saturating ourselves in God’s Word. 

Way back when I was in middle school, I had a youth pastor who challenged me to read a chapter of Proverbs a day for one month as there are thirty-one chapters. That was wise counsel. I recommend you start exactly where I started: read a chapter from Proverbs every day. Make that a foundational part of your fellowship with Christ as He lives in you and through you. 

Second, we make wise decisions by seeking wise counsel in our lives. And I’m not talking about professional counselors here—pastors included. I’m talking about our relationships. We need to invite godly people who know us well and are allowed to tell us the truth into our decision-making: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a person who listens to advice is wise” (Proverbs 12:15). 

You can grow in wisdom by saturating yourself in God’s Word, which is filled with His wisdom. And you can set up helpful guardrails around your decision-making by not only seeking out wise and godly people to offer you instruction and advice but also listening to what they have to say—and even accepting correction and reproof when you’re pushing yourself in the wrong direction. 

Who in your life is a trusted counselor? Are you open to loving correction from those you trust? Be intentional to have godly, wise, and honest friends who care enough to tell you the truth.

When Life Falls Apart: How Do I Keep God’s Peace in Circumstances beyond My Control? 191

Scripture: Mark 4:36-41, Amos 4:13, John 5:17

Much of what we’ve covered in recent days applies to circumstances within our control. We’ve seen how to remove stressors from our schedules, our relationships, and our decisions. By doing what we can in these areas, we reduce the amount of stress in our lives and open ourselves more fully to experience God’s peace.

But what about circumstances in which we have no control? How do we maintain a stressless life when it seems like everything around us is falling apart? The answer begins with a shift in focus.

Many different factors can cause us to feel out of control in our lives. Some of those factors are global in scale, others are more limited to our individual lives. Whatever the cause, the way we handle ourselves when circumstances get out of control—including the amount of stress we endure—is directly connected to our focus in those moments.

So then, what’s the right focus when circumstances have gone beyond our control? The answer is to focus not on the circumstance and not on ourselves but on God—to focus on the One who possesses the necessary resources to solve the problem.

There’s a great picture of these different focuses found in Mark 4 where Jesus calms the sea. His disciples greatly feared because their focus was the storm. Jesus rebuked them because He wanted to change their focus. “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (v. 40). He wanted them to recognize who was in the boat with them. He wanted them to look up and see that if Jesus was sleeping peacefully, they could take comfort in His peace.

Our circumstances do not shape the way we view our God; our God shapes the way we view our circumstances. I know that principle can be a source of hope in your life, even in the most difficult of times. Our God is active, our God is sovereign, and our God is personal. And because those things are true, you can have peace when circumstances seem out of control.

In fear, you may ask, “Where is God right now? Why isn’t He doing anything?” Trust God’s character to be at work in all things. God is active in your life specifically. He acts in power and wisdom, and He’s present with you no matter what you endure.