Parents and kids are both stressed out. Anxiety, fear, and depression are on the rise, especially in the wake of the recent pandemic. While balancing work demands and the pressures of raising kids, how do parents provide a sense of calm? Jesus promised His peace (John 14:7). Discover in this devotional the transformational keys to experiencing peace and how to bring Christ’s calming presence into your home.
Baker Publishing
Day 1
Scripture: James 1:5
Calm Begins with Prayer
Parenting brings with it lots of anxiety and stress. We wonder are we doing it right? Are we being too hard or too easy? Are we handling the balance of work and home correctly? How do we keep up with it all?
The best place to find calm is in prayer. One of the greatest gifts you will ever give your child is praying for him and teaching him to pray. We see prayer modeled by Jesus who frequently pulled away for times of conversation with the Father. We often narrow prayer to the process of asking God for things, when, in fact, prayer is supposed to be a conversation with God. We talk to God in prayer, but we also listen to Him in prayer. In the parenting journey this is crucial. No one knows your child as well as God. He is the ultimate source of wisdom for how to parent your child. As you learn to bring every concern to Him, His Holy Spirit will envelop you in peace.
Often as parents we face difficult situations with our kids, and we are completely baffled about what to do. As we go to God in prayer, we are reminded that He is the source of all wisdom (Romans 11:33) and He promises to give wisdom to those who ask. Even better, He gives wisdom without finding fault (James 1:5). Don’t you love that? Parents struggle with so much guilt. However, James reminds us that God gives us wisdom without finding fault. As we spend time in prayer both pouring out our hearts and listening for God’s response, God will give us the wisdom we need. As a result, our hearts will be soothed, and we’ll experience His calming presence.
Pause and Reflect: What does your prayer life look like? Do you pour out your heart to God? Do you listen for the voice of His Spirit?
Action Step: Begin every day by praising God that He is with you and that He will give you wisdom as you need it. Make it your practice to carry on a conversation with God throughout the day.
Pray: Lord, too often I have turned to other sources for wisdom, forgetting that you promise to bend down and listen to my cries for help. As I move through this day, help me to carry on a conversation with you both pouring out my heart and listening for your response. As I pray, I ask that your Holy Spirit would calm my anxious heart.
James 1:5 (NIV): “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Day 2
Scripture: Exodus 14:14
Say Less, Listen More
We have so much to say as parents. We want our kids to grow up to love and follow Jesus. The temptation is to lecture non-stop. However, often the more words we use, the greater the stress levels in our homes. When we feel stressed out, we talk faster and use more words than necessary. Unfortunately, stress has a ripple effect. When you feel anxious and are talking fast and using lots of words, your kids are going to absorb all that tension and feel anxious. What’s the answer? When you feel yourself getting anxious, pause. Breathe. Be intentional about talking slowly, softly, and with less words. This is what Solomon was getting at when he wrote, “The one who has understanding holds their tongue” (Proverbs 11:12 NIV).
As you approach each new day, ask the Holy Spirit to quiet your soul. Ask Him for the grace to say less, especially when you feel stressed. Remember the words that God spoke to Moses in Exodus 14:14 (NIV): “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” As you approach different challenges with your kids, remember the rule: less is more. Talk less. Listen and pray more. The Lord will fight for your kids. He loves them more than you do.
Pause and Reflect: Have your parenting lectures been effective in shaping your child’s behavior? Why or why not?
Action Step: Today, remind yourself to talk less and listen more throughout the day. When you’re tempted to lecture . . . Stop. Pause. Ask God to set a guard over your mouth.
Pray: Father God, I praise you that you are always fully attentive to me. I praise you that before I cry out to you in prayer, you are completely tuned in. Lord, so often when I see a problem I lecture. Oh God, set a guard over my mouth. Help me today to talk less and listen more. Fill me with the strength to trust that you are pursuing my child’s heart even when I am silent!
Exodus 14:14: “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Day 3
Scripture: Mark 1:38
Respect Your Limits
Part of why we parents are so stressed out and anxious is that we haven’t learned to embrace our limits. We try to do it all and have our kids do it all. It doesn’t help that we have 24/7 connection to the outside world, to email, to news reports, and to social media. There’s no limit to the stress we are absorbing all day long.
Jesus embraced His limits. Like us, He was limited to a 24-hour day and was contained in a human body while on earth. In Mark 1:35–39, Jesus was enjoying some time alone with the Father when His disciples came looking for Him. From the passage we see that the disciples were frantic and frazzled. They exclaimed, “Everyone is looking for you!” As parents we can relate, right? Often everyone in the family and others outside the family need us at the same time. We feel pulled and pushed in different directions. Yet Jesus was completely unbothered by the disciples’ angst. Instead, He said, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come” (Mark 1:38 NIV).
What Jesus models here for us is profound. He was differentiated enough to not let the disciples’ angst unravel Him. He set clear boundaries around His purpose and plans.
As parents pulled in a million different directions, we need to learn from Jesus. We need to be differentiated enough to not allow the chaos around us to unravel us. We need to respect our physical, emotional, and spiritual limits. When you model respecting your limits, you model a calmer, more stress-free life for your kids.
Pause and Reflect: When your child is stressed out and anxious, how do you respond? Are you able to maintain your sense of calm as a parent?
Action Step: The next time you feel pushed and pulled in a million different directions, stop and breathe. Listen for the Holy Spirit to whisper calm to your soul before you respond.
Pray: Lord, thank you that you modeled limits for me. I praise you that you didn’t allow the expectations of others to determine your actions. Help me to follow your example so that I might model to my kids a calmer lifestyle.
Mark 1:38 (NIV): “That is why I have come.”
Day 4
Scripture: Ephesians 2:10
Let Go of Constant Evaluation and Criticism
Nothing stirs up anxiety and tension in homes quite like constant correcting. Yet as parents, this is one of the easiest traps to fall into. We want our kids to grow up to be kind, responsible, and moral people. However, the temptation is to constantly evaluate and correct.
I love the way Eugene Peterson interpreted Proverbs 27:15–16: “A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off and you can’t get away from it” (The Message). The same concept holds true for a nagging parent. Children have nowhere to hide from constant criticism and nagging. The truth is, it leaves them discouraged and anxious. Don’t make the mistake of constantly evaluating. If you want a calm home, listen to encourage rather than to evaluate.
When we take the time to notice what our kids are doing right, and we affirm those actions, our child walks away encouraged. Our homes become calmer and more peaceful. Here’s the thing: God is not disappointed in how your child turned out. Your child is God’s one-of-a-kind masterpiece, created on purpose and for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10). I know you see all the ways your child could improve, and you will at times have to correct. However, affirm more than you criticize. You need to know that God is thrilled with your child! In fact, when He created your child, He likely stood back and said, “Ta-da!”
Pause and Reflect: Keep track for a day how many times you correct your child. Then consider: are you making them tense with all your evaluation?
Action Step: Be intentional to listen to affirm more than to correct.
Pray: Oh Lord God, I recognize that so often I get caught on the treadmill of constant evaluation. In those moments I see everything that needs to be corrected in my child. I nag like a dripping faucet. Open my eyes today, Holy Spirit, to the wonder of who you created my child to be. Fill me with renewed love as I celebrate his unique design. When I need to correct, help me to think through the best way to connect with my child’s heart. I ask you for wisdom today.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV): “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Day 5
Scripture: Psalms 62:1
Create the Space for Rest and Renewal
The parenting journey isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon, and to thrive in your role as a parent, you need times of rest and renewal. Jesus modeled this. He invited us to come when we’re weary and to find rest in Him. He said, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28–30 The Message).
As you read that you might be thinking, I am so tired. Rest seems like a pipe dream. My kids never sleep. I get it. I remember a season when I got very little sleep. What I learned to do was to create some intentional space for rest. I swapped kids with a trusted friend I so that I could rest and renew.
The truth is, you can’t keep a sense of calm at home without getting adequate rest and having times of renewal. Listen to your body. Have a family meeting to decide what needs to be eliminated for everyone to get more rest. Or hire a babysitter and take a nap. When your kids are in school, set aside a day to spend extra time with Jesus. Take a walk in the park or read your Bible and listen to worship music. Perhaps you can leave the kids with grandparents or good friends, and get a night away to recalibrate. Here’s what I know: Renewal doesn’t happen without rest. Just as Jesus needed sleep (Mark 4:38–40) and time alone with the Father (Luke 5:16), you do as well.
Pause and Reflect: When was the last time you felt rested, revived, and refreshed? What needs to change for you to feel that way again?
Action Step: Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the wisdom to listen to your body and to live in unforced rhythms of rest and renewal.
Pray: Father God, honestly, I feel exhausted and anxious for some “me time.” I pray that you will fill me with wisdom as I balance the kids’ schedules and my own. Holy Spirit, I pray that you will fill my heart with wisdom as I consider what I need in order to feel more relaxed and rested.
Psalm 62:1 “Truly my soul finds rest in God.”