Breathe Again: A 7-Day Plan

Scriptures: Genesis 11:27-32, Jeremiah 29:11

Does your life pale in comparison to how you dreamed it? Are you crushed by painful circumstances? You’re not alone. Unmet expectations are tough to deal with, often leaving us with confusing and sometimes debilitating disappointment. 

Disappointment is an appropriate response for any kind of pain, but being encased in it isn’t. Left to linger, it slowly kills our hope. We’re living but not fully alive and barely moving forward. No matter what challenge we face, God’s good plans for us never change. If we sit still in disappointment for too long, we may end up forfeiting what He has in store. 

Genesis 11 tells of Abraham’s father, Terah, a man who stopped short on his dream. After burying a son, Terah and his family left their home in Ur to start a new life in Canaan. But something unexpected happened; he never made it to his destination. Instead, he lost sight of his dream, settled, and eventually died in Harran, a city along the way. Terah never stepped foot in Canaan’s soil, the land that became significant for his descendants. 

Why did he stop short? We’ll never know, but I wonder if lingering emotional battles sapped him of the strength to continue. 

From my own experience of losing a child, I understand that loss has the power to steal our good expectations from life like none other. Whether it’s the loss of a relationship, a marriage, or a job, it snatches our breath away. Harran became Terah’s dead end as he settled for the lesser place when the better place was up ahead. 

The lies of disappointment say our struggle is our end. “The voice we listen to in pain will determine our destination.” God’s voice will always lead us forward. 

Today, ask yourself if you’ve settled for less than God’s best because you’re afraid to expect better. The Holy Spirit can help you release disappointment so you can become fully alive in Him, dreaming and breathing again.  

Scriptures: Psalms 100:5, Psalms 62:8, Genesis 15:6, John 15:4-5

There’s a situation in your life that looks unchangeable, set in stone, sealed in concrete, that’s causing you stress and anxiety. Trusting God seems nearly impossible. You need Him to fix your problem, but the longer it goes unchanged, the more you lose faith that He’ll come through. 

Discouraged, the familiar feelings of condemnation remind you that if you really love God, trust should come more easily. But it feels safer, more empowering, to try to control your situation and will things to change. Your biggest fear is letting go and God choosing something other than what you want. 

Any of this sound familiar? Yeah, for me too. Still, God’s age-old answer to our problems is found in scriptures like Psalm 62, which directs us to trust Him at all times. Even Abraham had to learn the lesson of trust to move forward through things he didn’t understand. 

But how is the at all times kind of trust that Psalm 62 refers to possible? Is it some kind of test or is there a deeper meaning we don’t see on the surface? 

The word trust in Psalm 62 refers to having confidence. We develop our confidence in God by discovering his trustworthiness through intimate attachment, the way a vine and branch are connected as one (John 15). “Attachment to Jesus is the hinge on which the door of trust hangs.”

And isn’t that just like Jesus to bypass rules and formulas and bring trusting Him in every nuance of life back down to the simplicity of relationship? 

Today take time to strengthen your attachment to Jesus. Talk to Him everywhere you go. He’s always present, listening, and whispering trust Me. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:22, Hebrews 12:2, Psalms 100:1-3

Scripture and science both tell us that we need to be happy to be healthy. Joy helps us cope better with life and is good for our emotional and physical health. But life doesn’t always deal us situations to be happy about. So, how in the world are we to find joy in the middle of pain, crisis, and disappointment?

First, we need to know what real joy is. Joy referred to by Scripture is gladness not based on emotions or circumstance, but on who Jesus is and His promises to us. It flows from the fixation of our mind’s eye. “Joy is a focus long before it’s a feeling, and our feelings overflow from our focus.” 

To cultivate real joy in your life, it’s worth asking: Where is my stare? What is my internal focus gazing upon? Is it on what life used to be, what others have, or the pain you’re now feeling? Or is it on Jesus and His faithfulness, no matter how your circumstances appear? 

Our joy follows our stare. You can’t have roaming eyes and sustain joy. But let me be truthful. After losing my daughter, that focus on Jesus didn’t come easily for me. I had to choose to have it and fight to keep it. Some days that was hard, but the Holy Spirit always brought me back to His faithfulness. 

The joy that comes from Jesus carries us beyond a moment of laughter and gives us stability in times of pain. Choosing joy may not change our circumstances. But it can change our outlook, which will buffer us from some of our problems’ harmful effects. 

Today, give joy the credit it deserves. Put effort into cultivating it in your heart by focusing on God’s faithfulness.

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Isaiah 25:1, Psalms 150:6

When life is tough and feels like a battle, worship and praise can be our lifeline. We don’t need a pre-recorded song or a church band to lead us. All we need is for our heart to desire to lift Jesus above our doubt and anxiety. It’s really that simple.

There’s an ongoing, spiritual war being waged for our devotion. The winner achieves the prize of our focus and thus calls the shots in our life. Sometimes it’s easy to disengage and forget we’re in this war. But that doesn’t mean the battle ends. No, it’s still going on. We’re just losing. Learning to worship is one of the most important things we can do to stand on the side of victory. 

Some of the biblical words for worship and praise mean to kiss the hand, to bow down in reverence, to give thanks, boast, honor, and sing praises. Sometimes this list looks more like what I give to my problems than to God. I wonder if we would put more weight on worship if we realized the magnitude of its power. Worship and praise are forceful weapons in the war against our adversary. By lifting God higher, we push the enemy lower. It also strengthens the tender, open-hearted bond we can have with God and is therefore one of the most sacred things we can do. Is it no wonder that darkness contends for it? “Worship is life breath to our souls.”

In the year we fought for our daughter’s life, it was in my times of worshiping Jesus that I felt His empowering presence the most. They were defining moments that spoke truth. 

Today, take time revering God more than your problems. Thank Him for His faithfulness. Bow your soul low before Him, saying, “I can’t, but You can!” Honor Him with your attention and boast about all He’s done. Doing so defeats your enemy every time!

Scriptures: Matthew 12:34, Galatians 5:1, Romans 8:1

I recently asked friends if they’ve ever felt disappointed by God. Unanimously they said, “Yes. But we feel wrong for it.” 

Me too.

Here are some reasons why: 

There is shame: “I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s unchristian.”

There is fear: “Won’t God be mad at me?”

There is isolation: “I’m the only one feeling this way.”

There is denial: “If I don’t admit it, my perfect picture of God

will stay intact.”

It’s hard to admit, let alone deal, with our disappointment. Shame, fear, isolation, and denial, all tactics of the enemy to convince us to hide rather than doing the brave work of becoming vulnerable with God when we feel let down by Him. 

Some of us have hidden for so long we don’t know who we authentically are. Like Terah settled down in Harran, we’ve settled down with our disappointment. In some ways, we’ve married it and taken its name as our identity: loss, infertility, divorce. 

We’ve perfected our pretty facades, but behind them our faces are so creased with pain and disappointment that no amount of Botox could erase it. We’ve believed the lie that perfection is required in our relationship with God.  

But when did He say to stop being human when you become a Christ follower? Hiding our true self only gives further opportunity for the pain in our hearts to become toxic. Taking off our mask is the first step to freedom and breaking the negative identities we’ve accepted. “What if instead of hiding our disappointment from God, we let it be our offering to Him?” It’s then that He can do the work of healing and restoration in our heart. 

Today, get real with yourself and God. He’ll never shame or condemn, but always heal. 

Scriptures: 1 Chronicles 16:34, Psalms 34:8, Psalms 107:1

My brother-in-law Buck was walking the same path on his property that he did every morning when a deranged gunman stopped his car and shot Buck twice. When Buck fell to the ground, the man sped away. Buck survived the ordeal and our family thanked God for His goodness in protecting him. But what if he hadn’t lived? Would we have thought God good then? 

Two important questions we should ask ourselves are: Do I believe that God is good? And how did I form that belief? How you answer those questions determines how you’ll relate to God.

We all have a specific theology about God. It’s what we believe to be true about Him. Most people define God by their circumstances, what they were taught growing up or who culture says He is. 

If I was judging God based upon my outcome with Haven, it would be easy for me to say He doesn’t answer prayer and He likes to see people suffer. This isn’t true, but pain tells us many things. Usually we won’t hear it say that God is good. Pain wants to blame, and as we look for a worthy candidate to hold responsible, Satan’s finger is already pointing toward heaven like a blinking neon light.

But in all of this, God’s not silent. He stands up for His character and goodness in the middle of every storm. The Holy Spirit will reassure us of what is right, help us interpret Scripture, and shape our theology accurately. Which is why the only reliable sources to define what we believe about God are His Spirit and His Word. 

“If you base what you believe to be true of God on what happens to you in life, you will wrestle with God to your grave.” But if you choose to trust His Word, your heart will stay soft and full of life. 

Today, search for scripture that defines God’s character and ask the Holy Spirit to help you believe them in faith. 

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 3:11, Hebrews 11:8-16, 1 Corinthians 15:54

I’ve been asked more times than I can count how I made it through the loss of a child without becoming bitter, broken, or stuck in pain. If I had only one answer to give, I would say nothing gave me more hope than having an eternal perspective. 

When I say eternal perspective, I mean viewing life through the lens of eternity. Have you ever worn sunglasses with colored lenses? Everything you see is washed in that color. That’s what I mean by seeing life through the lens of eternity. You view everything you face­—the good, the bad, and the ugly—washed in the hope of what is to come. Our life on earth, as important as it is, is just walking us to heaven. This is big-picture thinking.  

God planted the seed of eternity in our hearts. Every time the world disappoints us, that seed whispers that pain was never God’s design. It reminds us that He has good in store. 

Still, pain has a tendency to become opaque, an all-consuming focus we can’t see through. But an eternal perspective turns pain translucent. Something we look through rather than to. On the other side of pain, where there’s purpose – victory and redemption become visible. 

Because the enemy was defeated on the cross, all that is broken on this earth will ultimately be healed. Even if we don’t see it on this side of eternity, may we be like Abraham, who looked through pain to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. It’s the only place worthy of our heart’s fixation. Everything else pales in comparison and will ensnare us in the disappointment of this world. 

Today put on your eternal perspective by focusing on the promise of Heaven.