4 Biblical Ways to Escape the Comparison Trap

Scripture: Galatians 6:3-4

I don’t know about you, but for me, birthdays are the perfect trigger for falling into the comparison trap. Because birthdays offer us a “scorecard” of sorts—especially in a world that is obsessed with success at an early age.

If we’ve made more money than our peers or parents have by a certain age, we can feel proud and arrogant. Conversely, if we have failed to sell a company, reach the C-Suite, or achieve some other goal before someone else, we can feel jealous and bitter like we’re “falling behind” and “life is passing us by.”

How can you wage war against these feelings? How do I plan to escape the comparison trap? By confessing and repenting of my pride. Because as Paul makes clear in Galatians 6:3-4, pride is the root of all comparison.

Save Paul, nobody has articulated this better than C.S. Lewis who said in Mere Christianity: “We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.”

It’s easy to see how pride is the root of comparison that leads us to feel superior to others, but it is also the root of us feeling inferior to others. If I feel jealous that someone has accomplished more than I have by a certain age, that is ultimately rooted in a feeling that I deserve the good gifts God has given them, but not me. And that is pride.

So, if you find yourself falling into the comparison trap today, start your escape here: Confess your pride to the Lord in prayer and ask for his power to “take pride in yourself alone, without comparing yourself to someone else.”

Scriptures: 1 Chronicles 29:12, Job 41:11, Romans 6:23, James 1:17, Matthew 5:45, Genesis 32:10

On April 7, 2019, Craig Arttez Brewer walked into a Waffle House and started handing out $20 bills to strangers. For whatever reason, Brewer chose not to extend his generosity to all the restaurant’s patrons, only some. 

One customer who did not receive one of Brewer’s generous gifts became furious and stormed out of the restaurant. A few minutes later, the customer returned with a gun, shooting and killing Brewer on the spot. 

This tragic true story illustrates an important truth: God is the creator of the universe. He created us and every good thing in this world, and thus, he is free to do with our lives whatever he pleases. Just as the angry Waffle House customer had no right to Craig Brewer’s generosity, we have no right to God’s. 

Because we sinned against our Creator, the only “claim” we have against him is the claim to eternal separation from him (see Romans 6:23). That is what we deserve. Everything else—from our salvation, to our jobs, to the breath in our lungs—is a good and merciful gift of grace. 

And it is that truth that can free us from soul-sucking comparison. Yesterday, we saw that confessing our pride is the first way to escape the comparison trap. Here’s the second: Thank God for the goodness he has shown—to you and to others. 

Thanking God for the goodness he has shown you turns your focus away from what you want to what you have already been given. 

And thanking God for the goodness he has shown others helps you remember that their success too is a gift from God—even if they aren’t followers of him! 

This is where many of us can get hung up. Let’s say you’re competing for a promotion at work and you lose out to a lying, womanizing colleague who hates the ways of the Lord. That can be a tough pill to swallow. 

But God’s Word promises that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father” (James 1:17) who “sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). And so, we can trust that God knows what he’s doing—even when he allows the “unrighteous” to prosper. 

Today, I want you to think of just one person you tend to compare yourself to. Thank God for the goodness he has shown them—their talents, prosperity, health, etc. 

And thank him for the unmerited goodness he has shown you, joining Jacob in praying, “I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant” (Genesis 32:10).

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 3:3-9, 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 2 Corinthians 10:12-13, 2 Corinthians 11:4-5

We’re in a devotional plan exploring four biblical ways to escape the comparison trap—our tendency to weigh ourselves against others until we feel improperly superior or inferior to them. 

We’ve already explored two ways to escape the comparison trap. First, confess your pride. Second, thank God for the goodness he has shown to you and to others. 

2 Corinthians 10:12-13 shows us the third way to escape: Ask yourself if you’re even playing the same game as the person you’re comparing yourself to. 

The context is that the Corinthians were comparing Paul to some false preachers (see 2 Corinthians 11:5). Commenting on this passage, one theologian explains that apparently, “Compared to secular orators, Paul was not as entertaining, dramatic, or engaging.” 

But Paul refused to compare himself to those other preachers. Why? Because he wasn’t even playing the same game as they were. They were there to preach “a different gospel” (see 2 Corinthians 11:4). Paul was there to preach the one true gospel of Jesus Christ. And so, he said, he would “confine [his] boasting to the sphere of service God himself [had] assigned to [him].” 

You and I do the opposite of Paul all the time. Let me give you just one personal example. 

My friend Cal Newport writes incredible business books like Deep Work and Digital Minimalism. And he writes for a very broad audience—for Christians and non-Christians alike. 

A couple of years ago, I found myself falling into the comparison trap and growing jealous of Cal. By God’s grace, I realized how ridiculous this was, because “the sphere of service God himself has assigned to” me is far narrower than Cal’s. 

I am called to help Christians connect the gospel to their work. And so, my total potential audience is way smaller than Cal’s. So it makes absolutely zero sense to compare myself to him! Because we aren’t even playing the same game. 

Lebron James wouldn’t compare himself to Tiger Woods. Similarly, you and I should realize the foolishness of comparing ourselves to others with different callings. 

If you’re comparing yourself to someone else today, Paul shows you one way to escape. Ask if you’re even playing the same game. If you’re not, knock it off. If you are, access some of the other escape routes we’ve already explored in this plan or the final one we will unpack tomorrow.

Scriptures: Matthew 25:14-30, Ephesians 2:8-10

When it comes to escaping the comparison trap, there may be no more helpful passage of Scripture than the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. 

Jesus’s parable focuses on a Master (representing himself) who “entrusted his wealth” to three servants. “To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,” and then, he went on a long journey. 

Upon his return, the Master found that the first servant had diligently put the Master’s money to work and turned five bags of gold into ten. The Master turned to the first servant and said, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Come and share your master’s happiness!” 

Then, the Master came to the second servant who turned his two bags of gold into four. And the Master gave him the exact same blessing that he gave the first servant—even though the second servant wound up with six fewer bags of gold. 

Do you see how countercultural this is? Secular wisdom would look at this scene and say, Clearly the servant with ten bags is the “winner,” right!? Not in Jesus’s book. Because the Master didn’t compare these guys to each other, he compared them to themselves. 

Based on this parable, I think if Jesus were asked to define success in a word it would be stewardship—doing your best in accordance with the Lord’s commands. That points us to the fourth way we can escape the comparison trap: Remembering that while the world will always value being the best, God values us doing our best with talents he has called us to steward. 

I hope you see how unbelievably freeing that truth is. Because it is impossible to win the world’s game. There will always be somebody bigger, better, richer, smarter, more popular, more talented, and more successful than you. Always! And so, if the game is about being the best, you will never escape the comparison trap. 

But with God, the only way you “lose” is by not suiting up. So long as you stay focused on your calling—day by day seeking to better steward what God has given you as a worshipful response to your salvation—you win (see Ephesians 2:8-10). 

The next time you find yourself spiraling into the comparison trap, remember these four biblical ways to escape: 

1. Confess your pride 
2. Thank God for the goodness he has shown to you and to others 
3. Ask yourself if you’re even playing the same game as the person you’re comparing yourself to 
4. Remember that while the world calls you to be the best, God calls you to do your best 

I pray your soul will find rest in these truths today!