“Till death do us part”-words I vowed before God, family, and friends. I believed marriage meant enduring every storm, no matter how painful. I promised to stand by my husband through better and worse, but when the “worse” came, it was beyond what I imagined. My marriage became unhealthy, yet I felt trapped by my vow. I needed God’s Word to teach me what it truly means to be loved, safe, and protected-not just to silently endure pain. This journey is about moving from hurt to healing and freedom, with God guiding me through the storm.
Sherapy – Sherida Pinas
Day 1
Scriptures: Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 19:20, Proverbs 24:6
The Storm Begins – Communication and Doubt
I was 24 when I got married, full of hope and determination to break the cycle of pain I’d seen in my family. I thought we were ready for anything. But marriage is a learning curve, and soon I realized how much we didn’t know. Communication became difficult. Arguments erupted over small things but often centered on women in my husband’s life. I felt invisible, unheard, and doubted myself constantly. Was I just jealous? Why was he allowed to have close relationships with other women while I was criticized for greeting males? One woman even came into our home for piano lessons and treated me with disrespect, and my husband dismissed my concerns as jealousy. The pain of feeling unseen and invalidated grew inside me. I wanted to believe we could fight through anything together, but I felt alone in the battle.
I was ashamed to ask for help. I believed I had to fix everything on my own. But over time, God’s Word showed me the importance of seeking counsel. Proverbs reminded me that without wise advice, plans fail. I learned that reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength and wisdom. The hardest part was admitting I couldn’t do it alone. Even when I felt unheard and doubted, God saw me. He gently invited me to find support and guidance. Healing began the moment I opened my heart to Him and others.
Day 2
Scripture: Psalms 121:1-2
Red Flags and Silent Cries
Looking back, I can see the red flags I missed or ignored. At the time, I was young and scared. I tried desperate ways to get my husband’s attention. Inside, I was a little girl crying out to be seen and loved. But instead of comfort, I heard harsh words: “You’re not woman enough,” “Why can’t you be more like her?” “Maybe you shouldn’t have married.” Those words cut deep, and I began to shut down emotionally. I stopped sharing my feelings, afraid of making things worse. I bottled up my pain, isolating myself in silence.
In my loneliness, I started writing letters to God every day. “God, forgive me. Teach me how to love my husband better. Help me be a better woman.” I didn’t realize then that God was listening, watching over me, and protecting me even when I felt invisible. Slowly, He gave me words of hope that I turned into a song-a reminder that He sees my pain and carries me through it.
Psalm 121 became my anchor: “I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.” Even when I doubted God’s presence, I kept looking to Him, trusting He would bring me through the darkness. If you’re feeling invisible or unheard today, know that God sees your pain and hears your silent cries. He is your refuge and strength.
Day 3
Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 4:1, Exodus 21:26-27, Proverbs 11:29
When Love Hurts – The Reality of Abuse
During my pregnancy, I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum-a severe form of morning sickness that left me weak and hospitalized multiple times. I couldn’t eat or drink without vomiting. I was exhausted and depressed, unable to work or care for the house. The issue with other women in my husbands’ life still simmered beneath the surface. One day, during an argument, I laughed nervously, and he slapped me across the face. I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it. He apologized immediately, promising it wouldn’t happen again. I believed him. I pretended nothing was wrong, not realizing this was only the beginning of physical abuse.
After our child was born, the abuse escalated. Arguments turned physical more often. I remember the day he pushed me out of the house barefoot, telling me, “Dogs stay outside.” I wanted to run back inside to my sleeping baby but was forbidden. I walked two kilometers barefoot to a friend’s home, scared and broken. I wondered what I had done to deserve such hatred. Later that day I was told that it was my fault, that I had brought this out in Him. Somewhere deep inside, I knew this wasn’t right. It wasn’t safe. God’s Word condemns violence and oppression. Abuse is never part of God’s plan for marriage. “Till death do us part” does not mean accepting harm.
When I was experiencing abuse, it was hard to believe that God saw my pain or cared about what I was going through. But over time, I realized that God truly hates violence and never intended for me to live in fear. I wasn’t alone, even when I felt isolated and ashamed. I had to remind myself that I deserved safety, respect, and love. Reaching out for help was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it opened the door to healing and freedom. With God’s help, I found the strength to choose a new path.
Day 4
Scriptures: Psalms 34:18, Isaiah 40:31
Choosing Freedom and Healing
I dreamed of a model family-a home where love thrived, where two parents loved each other and their children. I stayed in the marriage for my kids, hoping they would grow up with both parents. But I realized my pain was hurting them. They saw me cry, saw my depression, and I knew this was not the legacy I wanted to leave. I wasn’t the mother or woman God created me to be while trapped in pain and fear.
I turned back to God, seeking His wisdom and strength. I realized that staying in an abusive marriage wasn’t love-it was survival. True love protects, nurtures, and heals. I made the difficult decision to leave and begin the journey of healing. It wasn’t easy, but God carried me through every step. Today, I am free-free to love myself, free to be the mother and woman God intended.
If you’re standing where I once stood-at that painful crossroads-I want you to know from my heart that you’re not alone. In my darkest moments, God was right there beside me, close to my broken heart. He gave me the strength I didn’t think I had to rise up, to begin healing, and to step into a new life full of hope. I truly believe that with Him, freedom and healing aren’t just possible-they’re waiting for you too.