Don’t Try This Alone

Scriptures: Exodus 17:1-6, John 16:33, 1 Peter 4:12, Acts 14:21-22

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: We can follow God and still experience hard and painful things. The Israelites are a perfect example of this.

In the Bible the Israelites are following Moses from Egypt to Canaan. They camped in a place called Rephidim, “but there was no water for the people to drink. So, they quarreled with Moses” (Exodus 17:1–2). I want to point out that these people left behind bondage and all they had known to follow God’s plan for their lives. They were following the will of God, but that did not come with protection from imperfection or pain.

Moses knew that even when pain and longing comes into our hearts, our God is able to fulfill those longings and provide a way forward. Moses did what we see him do best, he took his difficulties to the Lord. And look at what God’s first instruction was: “The Lord answered Moses, ‘Go out in front of the people. Take with you some of the elders of Israel and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile and go. I will stand before you by the rock at Horeb’ ” (Exodus 17:5–6).

God’s way forward through hard things will always be with Him and His people. God knew exactly what Moses needed to provide for the Israelites: He needed the God of divine presence, and he needed the physical, tangible presence of God’s people (the elders of Israel) if he was going to lead these people out of bondage, through the impossible, and onward to a peaceful place. Moses knew that the only way beyond the pain is through the pain. And he was reminded by God that he couldn’t—or maybe shouldn’t—do it alone.

Prayer

Father, please help me build a community that supports and encourages one another during difficult times. Thank You for reminding me that we have been created to help each other. Amen.

Scriptures: 1 John 1:9, James 5:16, Zephaniah 3:19, Ephesians 4:15

When a favorite pastor, worship leader, or Bible teacher loses their church or platform due to a moral failure, everyone’s shocked. Why? Well, because no one saw it coming! The leader was hiding! Shame makes us hide. Shame is an identity attacker. It forces us into a dark place with voices that spew lies like, “I am unworthy of good things. My past discounts me. I should hide because I’m too broken to be used anyway.” If hiding is the kryptonite to healing, shame is the villain in the story, ready to defeat us by taking away the very things God designed us for—connection and withness.

Defeating shame will cost you. I’m not trying to scare you from facing it, but I’m a no-fluff kind of girl. At this point in my life, with all of the trauma in my story, I’m out to set some people free, so I’m gonna say the thing! It’s going to cost you to stop hiding. It’s going to push you past your instinct to hide, and I don’t want to pretend that it’s not hard to step into the light. It’s terrible and sometimes embarrassing and absolutely worth it. It will always be worth it to get out of hiding. Let me show you why.

If the shame in you says, I don’t want anyone to know, not only will you have to walk through the reality of the pain you’re healing from but you’ll also be doing it alone. When the anxiety hits, you won’t have someone reminding you to breathe when it feels like the grief is suffocating you. When depression hits, you won’t have anyone to encourage you that maybe the best you can do today is take a shower and celebrate that. When you’re feeling unwanted because your single season is taking far too long for your heart, you won’t have a gal friend that sends coffee or a mani-pedi on her. You’ll also risk someone finding out instead of you willingly telling them. And when someone finds out you’re going through something hard alone, the connection you really want is thrust onto you versus being gently invited in. Connection by invitation is always sweeter than by discovery.

Prayer

Lord, I have tried to hide my shame, and I need Your help to bring it to light. Please give me strength and courage as I share my pain with my loved ones. Amen.

Scriptures: Matthew 10:29-31, Psalms 34:7, James 5:15, Isaiah 41:10

First of all, how many times have you felt like you had to carry it all yourself? I’ve got good news: He is the God who carries His people! He has been carrying you from before you took one breath, and He will carry you to the day you breathe your last.

Second, that word bearing isn’t a negative concept. It’s the same idea that shows up in Matthew 10:29–31: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” If God would take such tender care to count the hairs of our heads, He will make sure to keep up with us and carry us when we need it.

And lastly, He will save you. I wish I could hold your hand and look you in the eye and tell you every moment He saved me and my children. I hope these words that you’re reading are enough to get you to realize that He is saving you too. Every year, every month, every single millisecond, He’s saving you, my dear friend. He is incapable of watching us suffer without being sad about it. He moves from sadness to saving. He is our moshia’—the Hebrew word for “Savior.”* Our Deliverer who delivers every single time.

So no more hiding, okay? No more shrinking back from your healing journey and allowing the enemy of your soul to short-circuit the hope that is coming your way. Come on, lean into this. No more hiding. It’s time to get brave. It’s time to heal out loud. It’s time to begin again. Look up again, and let the light hit your face as it was destined to.

Let people in, find the people who will come, choose to humbly be held accountable for the mistakes and numbing in your healing journey. Bask in your worthiness, daughter of God, and watch the floodgates of healing open up for you. Let God, your people, and me in this moment be the ones to say, “I’ve got you!” We are not letting you go. The darkness won’t last. The light is on the way. I promise.

Prayer

Thank You, Lord, for being my Savior and Deliverer. I am so grateful that I can always rely on You, and I am thankful for the godly people You’ve placed in my life. Amen.

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Psalms 34:8, Psalms 107:1, Psalms 139:23-24

My life verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9, has been a wakeup call toward vulnerability I didn’t know I needed. The apostle Paul wrote that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. To God Himself, our real power and strength are found in our ability to embrace vulnerability, to be weak and honest about it. And the first step to this is being willing to be honest with ourselves. We have to acknowledge the truth of the pain in our stories instead of numbing it, sweeping it under a rug, and hiding our stories. I know it’s uncomfortable, I know it makes you feel weak (and not in the good way that invites God’s power in), but it’s so necessary. Once we are honest about the pain in our stories with ourselves, then we will be able to be honest with God.

Typically, when we try to handle our pain without God it becomes big enough to consume us. But when we get to a place where we can be honest with God, we begin to flex a muscle like we’re at the gym (one of my favorite places to be). After my second divorce, I’d gotten such bad anxiety that I wasn’t eating or sleeping well, and I became really weak. I wasn’t able to carry my one-year-old son up the stairs without running out of breath and taking breaks, lots of breaks. When he wanted me to rock him to sleep, I couldn’t stand. I had to sit and rock him in a chair.

I started to strengthen my body by going to the gym—and I went especially hard on arm days. Now? I’m able to do a push-up with my ten-year-old daughter on my back and I can hold my boy for way longer periods at a time. My consistency at the gym helped me to become stronger to care for the people that I care most about. Your consistency at being open and honest, practicing vulnerability, will help you become stronger to care for the fragile parts of your story. Meet with God consistently. Show up and give Him your honesty.

God has a plan to bring you back to His goodness.

How do I know? I know because I have witnessed it.

Prayer

Father, I don’t want to try to hide my pain from You anymore, and I need to experience Your goodness. Please be with me as I seek to consistently and honestly meet with You. Amen.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:6-7, Romans 8:28, Psalms 55:22, 1 Peter 5:6-7

God is such an intentional Father to us that He wants every single detail. Philippians 4:6–7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” When the apostle Paul spoke into our anxiety, he was doing it in the context of a command, not a request. Paul wasn’t saying that we wouldn’t get anxious; he was saying that when we get anxious, we should remember that on the other side of our prayers, there’s a miracle-working God who answers them according to His good and perfect will for our lives.

I also love that Paul used the word “every” in this scripture. Paul was teaching us that every prayer, every situation that we are wading through, is important to God. Everything should be prayed about. Looking for that promotion? Finances are tight and you’re hoping for a random check in the mail? You’ve been on one too many dates that are awkward and you deeply desire for the next one to be normal? A loved one is not doing well, and you’re believing for healing? Your big toe is hurting from wearing those heels a little too long that one night? Temptation from an addiction getting hard to manage? God wants it all. He doesn’t leave one area of our lives untouched. He wants all of it to work for our good. So don’t let shame win when you have to rally the troops for prayer on your behalf. Lean in; give them every crevice. . . .

As humans we can’t see the bigger picture past our pain, but God absolutely can. In His almighty power, He knows that it all ends good, so He has a peace that our earthly eyes just can’t see. What’s special about our relationship with God is that in our salvation we have access to His peace. We may not be able to understand it, but we absolutely get to tap into it. We get to experience the peace of God, without even being able to fully understand it.

Prayer

Lord, I am so thankful to know that You are intentional and know everything about me. I will rest in the fact that You have a plan for me, and I will embrace the peace You offer me. Amen.