Unsinkable Faith

Scriptures: Isaiah 41:10, 2 Timothy 1:7

Realization

Life as I knew it had ended. And I had a choice to make. Either I could let my circumstances dictate my joy and happiness going forward, or I could intentionally choose to be positive and refuse to sink under the weight of negativity. That may have been the most important decision I’ve ever faced.

After twenty-six years of marriage, my husband and I separated. The heartache and devastation were overwhelming, and I spent the first few months after he left in a puddle of tears and negative thoughts every day.

My vision of what the future was supposed to look like was wiped away in an instant, and my losses seemed to keep piling up. My fears about the uncertain future seemed innumerable, and I was consumed with worry for my children and how their parents’ separation might affect their hearts. With each passing day, I felt the toxicity of negativity, hopelessness, fear, and pessimism seeping deeper and deeper into my heart. I felt as if I was stuck in a whirlpool, slowly being pulled under by the weight of my thoughts, yet desperately longing to be free and happy again. A tsunami had slammed into my reality, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop sinking into sadness and, at times, even felt I was struggling with depression.

But the day finally came, several months later, when my emotional and mental exhaustion seemed overwhelming, and I realized I was fed up with feeling sad and hopeless. I was tired of assuming the future couldn’t be bright simply because the present was difficult. I knew that I needed to be a role model for my children and that my attitude would permeate theirs—either positively or negatively. I also knew that I needed to put my hope in God, trusting that not only was He able to heal broken hearts and broken relationships but also that, no matter what, I could have peace and joy if I intentionally invited Him to help me with my thoughts.

I realized I didn’t want to spend my life being bitter and negative and stuck in pessimism, whether because of the current situation, hard circumstances that lay ahead, or simply the small struggles and frustrations of everyday life.

I certainly did not want to be the kind of person who always sees the glass half empty instead of half full and inadvertently overlooks her blessings because of the negative or bitter blinders on her heart. I had never been that type of person before, and in a moment with the One who holds all hope, I became determined I was never going to be.

My heart lightened when I surrendered my negativity and committed to trusting God through this storm. I realized optimism and positive thinking were still within my reach because I had the power within me through Christ to choose to be positive, despite my circumstances. I merely had to make an intentional effort to do so. And when I did, my whole perspective and outlook completely changed. My circumstances stayed the same, but over time my thoughts and my heart did not.

Scriptures: Proverbs 23:7, 2 Corinthians 10:5

As One Thinks…

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (NLV). In other words, what we think will be evident in our outward attitudes and actions. This means that our thoughts are nothing to take for granted. Our perspectives and thoughts hold the power to determine our attitudes and also our tomorrows. Fortunately, we get to choose what our tomorrows look like, one thought and one day at a time. In the words of Norman Vincent Peale, a popular minister and author, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”

True joy and a positive attitude come from the choice to change your thoughts, not from a problem-free life. So, sweet friend, let today be the first day of your new optimistic life. Let it be the first day of a fresh season of life where you begin living a life of optimism, seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty.

You are not alone in this battle. We can either give up or God-up, and when we God-up, He always shows up. As we sojourn through this book, we’ll be unpacking three God-filled strategies that we need to put into practice in our daily lives if we want to transform our thoughts, feelings, and lifestyles:

1) Notice negative thoughts.
2) Reject negative thoughts.
3) Replace negative thoughts.

Scripture reinforces the importance of these three steps: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). If you’re like me, you’ve always known this instruction was important but never really understood how to follow through. How do we take our thoughts captive and then change our lives? Well, we’ll be exploring just that as we move forward in this journey toward optimism and joy.

As you read, I pray that God will open the door of your heart and help you begin to let your faith be in control of your mind so you can take back your thoughts. If you are ready to be rescued, God is ready to pull you out of the muck of negativity and discouragement. My hope is that when you get to the last page of this book, you will find yourself on the shores of a breathtaking place you didn’t know existed—a beautiful land where a positive mind and an optimistic heart thrive.

Scriptures: Romans 12:2, Proverbs 4:23

Thought Patterns

The average person has 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day, which equates to 35 to 48 thoughts per minute. Approximately 95 percent of our thoughts today are the same thoughts we thought yesterday. To make matters worse, about 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative ones. Tens of thousands of negative thoughts cycle through our minds day after day after day, poisoning our attitudes and our outlooks, one by one.

Eighty percent of tens of thousands of little thoughts add up to a lot of negative thinking and self-talk. If the majority of our thoughts are positive, then we’ll feel and be more positive, but if the majority of our self-talk is negative? Well, let’s just say the outcome will not be pretty. You see, it is our thoughts that drive our feelings and our happiness, not our circumstances. If our thoughts are negative, our feelings and actions will be negative as well, and altogether those things can lead to a negative life, lacking peace and joy.

For example, if we spend an entire day fuming over our spouse’s flaws and thinking about how he doesn’t meet our needs, we will feel animosity toward him or, at minimum, a lack of love, which leads to outward negative behaviors that might damage the relationship.

If we spend time thinking about how our boss doesn’t appreciate us and constantly telling ourselves how underpaid we are, we will feel discontent at our job, which can lead to a bad attitude, poor performance, or maybe the unemployment line.

If we spend time thinking about what other people think about us, we will feel like we don’t measure up and live with a lack of confidence in who we are, and Whose we are.

If we constantly think about our past mistakes rather than accept God’s forgiveness and mercy, we will feel unforgivable and unlovable and live a life disconnected from the love and acceptance He wants us to embrace.

If we let the critical words a parent said to us when we were children, the rejection or hurtful actions of a spouse, or the judgment of a friend or loved one dwell in our thoughts and define how we think about ourselves, we will feel like worthless individuals incapable of living life with purpose.

If we listen to all this negative self-talk, which is not from God, we might end up sinking in an ocean of discouragement and hopelessness and feeling that we can never swim our way out to peaceful waters.

You see, our thoughts turn into feelings that can easily take control of our lives and steer us in a direction we do not want to go in. Our feelings are persistent and unrelenting constantly whispering to gain dominion over our actions. They can create our destiny, either good or bad, because whatever we are dwelling on in our minds is what will play out in our lives. It is usually our thoughts, not our circumstances, that cause us to sink. This is such an important truth to tuck into our minds. Mark it down: What we think becomes who we are.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:8, 1 Peter 5:8

Replacing Negative Thoughts

These three simple steps have been instrumental in my life as I’ve learned that they truly do work, and I know they can be instrumental in yours too.

1) Notice negative thoughts
Ask God to expose each negative thought you have. You take authority over your thoughts when you notice the ones you’ve allowed and begin to recognize the thinking patterns that have developed in your mind over time. Noticing and capturing the thoughts that have kept you bound is the first step in transformation.

2) Reject negative thoughts
After you notice a negative thought, you have the power to reject it. Refuse to entertain it in your mind or on your lips. Reject any thought that lies about who you are, who others are, or who God is. If what you are thinking doesn’t line up with Scripture, it is not true. Toss out any thoughts that makes you feel hopeless, worried, or afraid. When you’re tempted to complain, blame, or shame, use the power God has given you to refrain. When you reject negative thoughts, they lose their power over you.

3) Replace negative thoughts
Each time you exterminate a negative thought that’s been exposed, replace it with a thought that is more true.

For example: Notice the negative thought No one really loves me and replace it with There are people who love me, but most importantly, I am God’s beloved. Or notice the negative thought I always mess things up, and replace it with I’m human, and sometimes fail, but I’m not a failure and I can succeed. Or I’ll never be able to lose the weight/overcome the addiction/find someone to love me with All things are possible with Christ.

At first this may feel awkward or forced or even artificial. (Your brain might not be used to claiming and announcing what’s true!) As you continue to choose what’s most true, though, your brain begins to form new neural pathways that strengthen God’s renewal and transformation of your mind.

I also want to suggest a really helpful tool that will help you as you notice, reject, and replace your negative thoughts. Journal a record of the thoughts you exterminate each day, in an effort to begin recognizing patterns of habitual negative thinking. Beside each one, note the thought you’re choosing to replace the negative one with. Keeping track will also help you recognize when you are beginning to think differently, and breaking free from the stronghold will eliminate certain negative thoughts have had over your life.