Collective: Finding Life Together

Scriptures: Matthew 6:33-34, Psalms 90:12, Lamentations 3:23, Matthew 22:36-40, John 13:34-35, Philippians 4:4-9

Wondering if your life is headed in the right direction? 

Once you turn 18, it feels like you’re supposed to instantly become an adult and get your life together. But what about when you have more questions than answers? When you feel like you aren’t meeting the expectations you or others set for you? When where you thought you’d be isn’t where you are now, and you aren’t sure where you’re going next?

Take a breath. Spoiler alert—no one actually has their life figured out, but that’s the point. We’re all learning to rely on God and the other people around us to take life one step at a time. In fact, Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own.

That’s true, right? When we start thinking about our finances and our future and our careers and relationships—it becomes overwhelming. But when we pause and look at one day at a time, we can start taking the pressure off ourselves and instead start looking to God.

Here’s the thing about life. It’s really short. That sounds kind of depressing, but Psalm 90:12 actually says that learning to number our days leads to wisdom. Bizarre? Not so much. When we realize we’re not promised tomorrow, we view every day as a gift from God. A gift filled with new mercy. Fresh grace. And more opportunities to learn and grow.

So, if you’re wondering if your life is moving in the right direction, you’re not alone. As humans, we have a tendency to want more answers when we actually just need more God.

But it’s a fair question. Even back in Jesus’ day, people were asking big questions. Someone once asked Him what the most important commandment was.

What Jesus said was profoundly simple but profoundly difficult. He said the most important thing we can do is to love God and to love people. Another time, Jesus actually said that the world will recognize His followers by the way they love others. 

It’s fair to say, then, that if you’re loving God and loving the people around you, you’re probably on the right track.

Over the next few days, we’ll explore some adulting questions we all have from time to time and see how Jesus meets us in the middle of our ordinary lives in extraordinary ways.

Consider: What are some ways I can love God and love the people around me? 

Pray: God, thank You that You are sovereign and that I can cast all my worries about the future onto You. Thank You for Your grace, mercy, and love. Help me to rely on You—not on my own effort. Teach me to number my days and to make the most of my brief time on earth. Help me love You and love others more each day. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, Luke 6:12-18, Hebrews 10:24-25, Matthew 18:19-20, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Is everyone as lonely as I am?

Information is available to us 24/7 these days. You can google anything, anytime. You can find handy YouTube videos about how to fix a flat tire, how to budget, or even how to make ramen. And while that knowledge is beneficial, it can be easy to consume too much information in isolation—which isn’t what we were designed for.

God created us to live in community. That’s a word we use in church a lot that basically means we need good friends. Why? Because consuming information in isolation rarely leads to transformation. We need wisdom, and wisdom grows best in community.

Let’s take it back to the beginning. The first thing God said was “not good” was for man to be alone. We were created to need people. Jesus modeled this for us in His life and ministry on earth. 

Jesus chose 12 imperfect people to live life with. They ate together, prayed together, and served together. Why did He do this? Jesus didn’t need people. He’s, well, Jesus. Maybe it was to show us how to love imperfect people for His perfect purpose. 

Jesus showed us what it looked like to have great friends. And He knew it would cost Him. He knew Judas would betray Him. And honestly, Peter was a little extra sometimes. He knew Peter would deny Him and reject Him, but Jesus loved them all anyway. 

There’s a lesson we can learn from that kind of love. We can often get so caught up in having the perfect friend that we miss out on the potential ones in front of us. When we find our people, we’ve got to love them—flaws and all—the same way Jesus loves us.

The other important benefit of community is that Jesus not only modeled it for us but also promised to be in the middle of it. Jesus said that where two or more people gather in His name, He’s with us. That’s a pretty compelling reason to spend time with other people. 

So if you’re trying to figure out your life plan without people around you, it’s probably not going to pan out the way you expect. We need people to live out our purpose. We need people to discover who we are. We need people to encourage us, strengthen us, pray with us, challenge us, and help us up when we fall and fail.

It will get messy. And it won’t always make sense. But when you choose to be like Jesus and love like Jesus—you’ll realize you’re heading in a better direction like we talked about in day one.

Consider: What potential friends are you missing out on because you want the perfect ones? 

Pray: Jesus, thank You for showing us what it looks like to have community and for promising to be with us when we gather together. Help me rely more on You and on the others You’ve put in my life. Help me to love like You. In Your name. Amen. 

Scriptures: 1 John 5:14, Matthew 7:7-11, Proverbs 27:17, Romans 8:26, 1 John 4:18

How do I find friends?

We’ve established that finding friends is pretty important for finding our direction in life. But making friends as an adult can feel awkward and weird. So, how do you find your people?

First of all, know that God is faithful to provide. 1 John 5:14 says we can be confident that God hears us when we ask Him for anything that pleases Him. Having people to do life with is a part of God’s plan for us. So, we can feel confident that when we pray for God to bring us people, He will.

Jesus says that just like a good parent doesn’t give their kid bad gifts, when we ask Him for something, He’s not going to trick us. So pray for the right people to come into your life at just the right time. And as you pray, listen to what the Holy Spirit might prompt you to do. Maybe someone will walk by at work one day who you can ask to lunch. Maybe it’s getting to know someone you serve with at church. 

But here’s the thing. Finding friends requires taking a step outside your comfort zone and knowing that rejection is inevitable sometimes. To truly find a place where you belong in life, you have to take a risk. You have to show up without knowing how it will go or who might accept you. Because facing the fear of rejection is the key to connection.

So, when you feel like there’s a person you’re supposed to reach out to, do it! You never know if you might be the answer to their prayer for community, too. 

Consider: Who are some people God has placed in your life? How might you take a step outside your comfort zone to form a friendship with them? 

Pray: God, thank You for being a good Father who cares about every part of our lives. Today, I ask You to bring people into my life. Help me have the courage to overcome the fear of rejection and find real connection. Give me the courage to invite someone into my life this week. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 9:35-36, Galatians 6:2-5, 2 Corinthians 10:12, Hebrews 13:8, Genesis 1:27, Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 8:11, 1 Peter 2:9

Do other people like me? Do I even like myself?

Social media can create a culture of comparison. It’s like a digital scoreboard that never sleeps. We get caught in the trap of comparing how many likes our photos got versus someone else’s. We see a group of friends post a picture of themselves hanging out and wonder—Why wasn’t I invited? Why do I feel so alone? 

Here’s what we’ve got to realize: What’s digital can often be deceitful. We’re comparing our whole lives to a snapshot of someone else’s. A filtered feed can make us think everyone else has their lives together while we struggle behind the scenes. In reality, the people we think have it together probably feel the same struggle we do. We just don’t see that part. 

That’s why we’ve got to stop comparing and competing. Jesus taught us a lot about this in Matthew 9:36. In that story, Jesus saw a crowd of people, and He felt deep compassion for them. 

Now let’s get honest. When you see a crowd of people—do you feel compassion or do you feel competition? 

If we see competition, we won’t have compassion, and if we don’t have compassion, we’ll lose our connection. 

So let’s stop this endless cycle of comparison and instead choose to embrace our identity in Christ. What does that even look like? 

Your identity isn’t based on your feelings but on the filling of the Holy Spirit. When you follow Jesus, the same Spirit that raised Him from the dead lives inside of you. So on days when you feel like you’re not enough, you can remember that feelings change, but our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And because of what Jesus did for us, God doesn’t see your sin, He sees His Son. 

You are made in the image of God. You carry the Holy Spirit inside of you. On your worst days or your best days, God loves you, He is for you, and He chose you. When you don’t feel it, read God’s Word anyway. Make daily affirmations rooted in Scripture to remind you who God says you are. 

When you know who you are, you can stop comparing and start celebrating the unique ways God made every single one of us. 

Consider: How can you stop comparing and start celebrating others in your life? What steps do you need to take to start really believing who God says you are? 

Pray: God, thank You for Jesus. Thank You for Your grace and Your love. Help me start knowing and believing what You say about me. Help me stop comparing myself with others and start celebrating the people around me. Give me compassion for myself and for others around me. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 28:16-20, Matthew 22:35-40, 1 Peter 4:10-11, Romans 12:6-11

How do you figure out your purpose in life?

We often ask kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When you think about it, it’s kind of an intense question to ask a 5-year-old. But when you turn 18, all of a sudden, there’s intense pressure to figure it all out. So the big question is—What am I supposed to do with my life?

Fortunately, Jesus gives us a framework to follow. Like we talked about in day one, our main purpose in life is to love God and to love people. It sounds simple, but it’s hard to live out. 

Loving people means loving them when they mess up, when they treat you poorly, and when they make you mad. It means every decision gets filtered through the lens of—Is this decision something that shows love to others around me? 

Jesus gave us even more clarity about our purpose as He left His disciples. In His last instruction, He laid out our mission—to go out into all the world, make disciples, and teach people to obey God. He also promised to be with us every step of the way. 

Our mission is to lead people to Jesus by loving them like Jesus. Again, sounds simple, but is far from easy. No matter where you end up, that’s your purpose. Whether you’re working in business or at a coffee shop, make it your mission to love the people around you and tell them about the Good News of Jesus. 

And know this—you don’t have to do something epic to do something important. You don’t have to be a CEO or go into ministry or champion a huge cause to make a difference. All of those things are great, but we all have the opportunity to do great things every day by loving the people in front of us. 

So take the pressure off. Break up with unnecessary expectations you’ve put on yourself. God is with you, guiding you and leading you on to the path He has for you. 

Still wondering how to reconcile this truth with the massive decisions in front of you? 

Here are three questions to help you decide how you can live out your purpose—keeping in mind that you can love God, love others, and make disciples no matter where you go. 

1. What past experiences have shaped you? Your past doesn’t define you, but it can inform you. Have you gone through something you want to help others through? That might help you decide what you’re passionate about. 

2. Do you have any sense of calling? What causes righteous anger in you? For example, maybe you feel intense passion about protecting kids in unsafe situations. Maybe you’ve always been drawn to caring for sick people. Whatever it is, think about whether a certain career path might help you do more of what God has wired you to care about. 

3. What are you naturally gifted at? We all have different gifts given to us by God for His glory. What things come naturally to you? It just may help you decide what to do. 

Consider: Spend time thinking through the questions above. Pray about your answers, and talk them over with people close to you. See if the intersection of those questions can give clarity about your purpose. 

Pray: God, thank You for giving us all different gifts and abilities. Help me love You and others around me more. Help me make disciples. Give me clarity on where I can best serve You, and show me what my next step is. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 10:13, 1 Corinthians 10:23-24, Galatians 5:13-26

Let’s talk about dating and purpose and how they go together. 

We’ve talked a lot about the importance of relationships, but let’s talk about dating. As a Christian, dating can be an uncomfortable—even downright dicey—topic. Probably because there’s a lot of different advice out there that may not be helpful. 

For starters, you can take off some of the unnecessary pressure that gets put on dating relationships. People often talk about wanting to find “the One,” and that just doesn’t exist. No one person is going to complete you. Only Jesus can fulfill your deepest desires to be known, seen, and loved for exactly who you are. Instead, you’re looking for someone else who is passionately pursuing Jesus and who can help you be a better Christ-follower. 

That also doesn’t mean that every coffee date you go on has to be a frantic search to answer the question: “Is this person ‘marriage material’?” You can get to know people and hear their stories. Focus on forming friendships, and don’t stress yourself out trying to picture a future with everyone you go out with. 

However, you can and should set boundaries to have healthy relationships. Decide now how you’ll date. Set limits on where you’ll draw the line physically, spiritually, and emotionally. 

The thing about the line, though, is that you’ll want to make sure you’re not tiptoeing around it. Your goal shouldn’t be—what can I do that doesn’t cross the line? Your goal should be—how can this relationship bring the most honor to God? When that’s your goal, it becomes pretty easy to set the right boundaries to protect yourself now from hurt that could happen later. 

There can also be a tension between having relationships and pursuing your purpose, but there doesn’t have to be. Don’t wait to pursue your purpose until you’re in a relationship, because again—no one person is going to complete you. 

Instead, ask God what your next right step is—and do it. Wait for relationships with purpose by living out your purpose. 

There’s a lot of pressure to go to college, find a relationship, get engaged, and get married. That’s great for some people, but it’s not a universal story. And that’s okay! Break up with expectations about what’s supposed to happen and enjoy the season God has you in. 

Whether you’re in a relationship or single, God has a plan for you, so focus on doing the next right thing and falling more in love with Jesus. The rest will fall into place. 

Consider: How will your next relationship (or current relationship) look different when your goal becomes “How can this relationship bring the most honor to God?” instead of “What can I do that won’t cross the line?” 

Pray: God, I want my life to honor You. That includes my dating life! Help me to be confident and comfortable with who I am and how You made me so that I can fully live my purpose—whether I’m single or whether I’m serious about someone. Help me to become someone who will lead whoever I’m in relationship with to become closer and closer to You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Scriptures: Psalms 119:105, Proverbs 19:21, James 1:22-25, John 17:22-26, 1 Corinthians 8:1, Ephesians 3:20

When do you feel like an adult or get your life together?

You’ve made it to the last day of this Bible Plan, but you probably still have way more questions than answers. Here’s what you need to know: That’s okay. 

You never really start feeling like you’re an adult, and you never really feel like you have all the answers. And that’s exactly how God designed it. If we had all the answers, we wouldn’t need God. 

Psalm 119:105 tells us that God’s Word is a lamp for our feet and a light to our path. It’s a beautiful image. Basically, it tells us that God gives us just enough information to do the next right thing. But we don’t see the full picture. And that’s the point. Because when we don’t know what’s next, it’s an opportunity to trust God. 

We can come to God with what we think our lives might look like, but we hold our plans with open hands knowing that God’s purposes are far greater than we can ever ask, think, or imagine. 

So don’t stress out so much about getting your life together. The true mark of character isn’t something grand you do for your career. It’s how well you love your neighbor. Use the gifts God has put inside of you to change the world in front of you. 

Don’t be overwhelmed by how much you don’t know. 1 Corinthians 8:1 reminds us that knowledge makes us feel important, but love strengthens the Church. Some of Jesus’ last words spoken were in prayer to God that we would live in unity. That tells us that our opinions pale in comparison to the importance of our love for one another. 

Being an adult isn’t about arriving somewhere. It’s about learning to rely on God and the others around you. Stay in God’s Word. Do the next right thing He calls you to do. And love the person in front of you. When you do that? It’ll strengthen you, and it’ll strengthen the Church. 

Consider: What are some ways you can learn to rely on God and others around you more? 

Pray: God, thank You for the plans You have for me. Help me hold my plans with open hands, trusting that Your purpose is more than I can ask, think, or imagine. Surround me with the right people. Help me do what You call me to do. And help me love You and others more every day. In Jesus’ name. Amen.