The Faith of a Warrior Wife

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Ephesians 6:16, Nehemiah 4:14

A wife needs to be a warrior.
Because marriage is a battle.

Don’t misunderstand; this isn’t a jab at marriage. Consider it a call to arms. Sister, I know how easy it is to forget the battle isn’t against your husband. As wives, we need to shift our focus on the daily faith-fight to be more and more like Christ.

Ephesians 6:16 says, “In every battle, you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan” (TLB).

As we step onto the battlefield, let’s train ourselves to fight the true enemy of our families. We have an adversary who seeks to get us stuck in the messiness of marriage. He understands that some of his greatest weapons are our emotions, expectations, exhaustion, and environments. The enemy knows that when we feel weak, he has a chance to gain ground in his plan to destroy our homes.

But God is the author of marriage, and nothing can change that. His plan is not outdated or obsolete. He alone truly knows what it should look like and who it should point to.

So, let God’s voice script your wifehood. Listen to 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness” (Voice). With His strength, we can rise up and fight.

We cannot forget that marriage was designed in the garden but lived in the world. We can expect conflict and confusion. From the beginning, the enemy has sought to divide us. Our faith should surround us like armor. Lift your shield, put it at the front and center of your heart and attitude. Let faith guard you against resentment, disappointment, frustration, and impatience.

My challenge for you (and for me) is to return to God. Remember God’s plan. Put Him first in our marriages. Allow His truth to be the one thing we cling to. Then, we can learn the art of fighting for our marriages in a way that will strengthen us and open our eyes to God in a powerful way.

Let’s begin to think like warriors, talk like warriors, and pray like warriors. Let’s arm ourselves with the unchanging truth of God’s Word. Let’s sit in the war room face-to-face with God and allow Him to equip us, strengthen us, and lead us into marriages that reflect His goodness.

Boots on.
Faith First.
It’s time to fight the good fight.

Talk about it: What is one practical way you can lift your shield of faith in your marriage?

Scriptures: James 4:8, Hebrews 13:8, 2 Corinthians 3:17

Marriage and intimacy go hand in hand. (Keep reading; this isn’t a sex talk.) Today, I want to point our hearts towards intimacy with God. We prayerfully give God just about everything—our kids, our ministries, our neighbors, and our finances. But, what about our marriages?

Sister, God is faithful in our marriages, too. But, we have to be willing to let Him have it, completely. The promise of James 4:8 reminds us of His invitation into intimacy, “Draw near to God and He will Draw near to you” (ESV). He alone knows every detail of the struggles and obstacles we face.

We can unknowingly become bound by emotions in our marriages. External pressures cause internal struggles. Those closest to us often become easy targets. We explode or we clam up. We can move from faith-filled to feelings-fueled in a flash. The enemy uses the constant war between faith and feelings to exploit the battle. The adversary gains ground in the midst of our doubt, fear, anger, and impatience.

When we allow our feelings to lead, we forget the power, goodness, and sovereignty of God. Emotions often lead to pride which tends to ignite our desire to fight for ourselves. What if, in those emotional moments, we trained ourselves to bow down, incline our hearts to worship, and set our minds to pray? Because “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17, ESV).

Let’s see our feelings as a signal, a battle cry, and a call to faith. Instead of reacting in emotion, we can learn to pause, turn to truth, and rest in the goodness of Christ. Allow our focus to shift from our momentary flashes of feelings to the steadfast sovereignty of our Savior. Instead of looking for reasons to defend ourselves, we can search for ways to lean into Jesus. Allow Him to direct the mission of our marriages. Gain strength from Christ to be the wife He calls us to be.

Sister, the enemy wants us bound by heated emotions. But God has the power to strengthen us and set us free to live and love with faith. This battle can be won in prayer and praise. Lift your hands in praise. Bow your heart in prayer. Settle into the strength of your Father who “is the same today, yesterday and forever” (Hebrews 13:8, NLT). Allow Christ to take the highest place in this most precious relationship.

Talk about it: How can you shift your focus and search for God in your marriage? Write down (on a sticky note or on your phone) one way that God can strengthen you as a wife.

Scriptures: Matthew 6:33, 2 Chronicles 20:17

Now that we’ve set our minds to think like a warrior and seek intimacy with God, let’s talk about commitment. Marriage, by definition, requires commitment. But, what if I told you that you need to be more committed to God than you are to loving your husband? We’ve all heard someone say, “I just don’t love him anymore.” Marriage takes more than love because sometimes love fades. When exhaustion sets in, our commitment to God can keep our marriages strong.

Days will come when we just don’t feel like putting in the effort. When they do, our faith can keep us strong. When we feel like fighting to get our way, we need to remember to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33, NLT).

Did you hear that? Seek God first—not my opinion, my feelings, or my right to be right. God is what we need. When we seek Him first, and live righteously (more on that tomorrow), He will give us everything we need.

Everything we need to be the wives He calls us to be.
Everything we need to apologize when we don’t want to.
Everything we need to hold our tongues when we feel like yelling.
Everything we need to keep fighting with faith when we feel like giving up.
Everything we need.
Every.
Thing.

When we learn to seek God first, we begin to understand how He fights for us, in us, and through us. 2 Chronicles 20:17 says, “Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory” (NLT).

This verse lays an incredible battle plan before us.

• Take your position: firmly planted in the Lord’s strength and righteousness.
• Stand still: with hands lifted in praise and head bowed in prayer.
• Watch the Lord’s victory: it’s about God’s glory.

Let your commitment to God be the strength of your day. Love is so much more than a feeling. Love is an action. Love requires grit. Love depends on faith. Love puts God in the lead.

If we stay committed to God, our marriages stand a fighting chance to not just survive but to thrive. Let’s follow Christ, stay in His presence, and watch how He can gain ground on our behalf. We need to fight with faith until we see the glory of the Lord right in the middle of the battlefield.

Talk about it: What is an area of your marriage you could seek God first in?

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 31:8, Lamentations 3:25, Psalms 37:3

Today, I invite you to waive a white flag and surrender to God in your marriage.

So many things make their way into the average marriage. Life together can often pull us apart. Days can seem like minefields full of in-laws, children, finances, traditions, and more. “Two shall become one” can sometimes feel like a battlefield. Caught in the crossfire are two imperfect people exhausted by the natural tendency to cling to their own perspective.

We often spend so much energy battling our husbands that we forget the real enemy lives outside of our homes. What if we could learn to see our challenges (big and small) as enemy attacks that need to come under the direction of our commanding officer, God? Instead of waging war in our own homes, we could surrender to God, allowing Him to lead us toward real victory. Instead of rushing to the fight, we pause and look to God for guidance, perspective, and wisdom.

Lamentations 3:25 says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him” (ESV). That is a promise worth surrendering to. I want the Lord’s goodness in my marriage, so I need to wait for Him. Waiting can be hard, annoying, and even heartbreaking. But, my trust in God must lead my heart to wait on His sovereignty. Our unmet expectations all seem so urgent and powerful. But God says: Wait for me; I have a battle plan that leads to peace.

When we surrender to Christ, we can trust in His goodness. Psalm 37:3 says, “Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper” (NLT). If I learn to let God lead and set my heart to do good, I can count on Him to keep me safe and help me thrive. So much of life is not knowing what’s next. But nothing surprises God. He knows what’s coming. He knows us, our husbands, and every weapon the enemy will use to divide us. He is able to lead us toward peace and protection if we are willing to surrender to his leadership.

Recognize the mines in your marriage. They can be internal (pride and impatience) or external (kids and finances). Either way, the enemy is waiting to see where you’ll step.

Trust God. He knows the way through the minefield. Trade in self-reliance for God’s ever-loving leadership. Surrender to the faithful goodness of the Waymaker.

Talk about it: Think of one battle you need to wave a white flag of surrender over. What is one way you can surrender to Christ in this present battle?

Scriptures: Matthew 18:20, Matthew 19:26

Finally, I want to give you an important warning.
Don’t forget it.
Don’t avoid it or ignore it.
Remember this: don’t do battle alone.

The enemy wants you isolated. When you are alone, you are an easy target. We need God. And, we need other believers fighting in the foxhole with us.

Recently, I was reminded of the importance of this simple truth as I talked with an old friend over FaceTime. It’s been a while since we’d talked, and we agreed that we hadn’t been at our best as of late. As we talked, there was a strengthening I could feel rising up in my heart. You see, there is nothing like a sister in Christ.

I love the promise of Matthew 18:20, as it says, “Where two or three gather together as my followers, I am among them” (NLT). When we lean into one another, God is in our midst. Trusted friends have your back and point you to Jesus. They help you to fight when you want to give up.

I can be my own worst enemy in moments of weakness. Isolation provides the perfect environment for me to rehearse my own perspective. In contrast, a trusted friend can point us to Christ when we’ve lost our perspective or our minds. If we surround ourselves with others who trust God, we place ourselves in a protected environment.

You may be thinking, “I have no one.” I hear you, and I’ve been there. We recently moved our family across the country, out of our 20-year home, to a new town in a new state where we did not know a single person. So, sister, I get it.

But, I learned that even though it feels like I’m the only one alone, I’m not. When I am willing to reach out to others, God will provide fellowship. He is faithful when we are willing.

So, look around. Invite someone to coffee. Take a chance that others are searching for fellowship, too. Can I tell you what I always tell my kids? “God didn’t put you here on earth alone because we all need help.” Take the scary step to connect. Link armor with another woman of faith. Hold each other up. Pray for one another. Do battle together. Because where two or more are gathered, God is there. And, with God, nothing is impossible.

Sister, it’s time to fight the good fight.

Action step: Ask someone to coffee. Begin to link armor.