How to Talk About Finances When the Relationship Gets Serious

Scripture: Psalms 24:1

Day 1: What Does the Bible Say About Managing Money?

“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;” – Psalms 24:1

When your relationship starts to get serious, it might be time to talk about more serious things like money. Getting into the nitty-gritty of finances now can save you a ton of headaches (and awkward silences) down the road.

Talking about money can feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s an important part of building a strong relationship. Fortunately, the Bible has a lot to say about managing finances in a wise and responsible way, which can help guide your thoughts on this topic.

First off, the Bible reminds us that everything we have is a gift from God. Psalms 24:1 says, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.” This means that our money and possessions are ultimately His. We’re just stewards who are entrusted to manage these resources wisely.

Proverbs 21:20 tells us, “The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.” This verse highlights the importance of saving and planning for the future. Instead of spending everything we have, we’re encouraged to put some aside for a rainy day.

Another key principle is to avoid debt whenever possible. Romans 13:8 says, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another.” While sometimes debt is unavoidable, the Bible advises us to be cautious and not live beyond our means.

Generosity is also a big theme when it comes to money. Proverbs 11:25 states, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Sharing what we have with those in need not only helps others but brings blessings back to us.

Finally, the Bible warns about becoming obsessed with money and wealth. A popular scripture about this is Matthew 6:24, where Jesus says, “‘No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.’” So, while it’s important to learn how to manage finances Biblically, it’s equally important not to let money be the ruler of your life.

By keeping these Biblical principles about managing finances in mind when you have the “money talk” with your partner, you can approach the conversation with wisdom and confidence. You’ll be better equipped to create a financial plan that honors God, supports each other’s goals, and builds a lasting foundation for your future together.

Scripture: Proverbs 27:23-24

Day 2: When to Talk About Finances in a Relationship

“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.” – Proverbs 27:23-24

As your relationship grows, talking about money becomes very important. Proverbs 27:23-24 gives us wise advice: “Be careful to know the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds; because wealth doesn’t last forever.” This verse reminds us to be aware of and responsible for what God has given us. In relationships, this means understanding each other’s financial situation is key for long-term stability.

So, when should you bring up the topic of money? The right time is when your relationship reaches a level where your lives are starting to intertwine. This could be when you’re discussing future plans like getting engaged or any other commitment that merges your financial responsibilities. At this stage, your decisions start to affect each other, making it essential to understand how each of you handles money, your financial goals, and any potential challenges you might face.

Of course, like with all aspects of your relationship, it’s important to make sure you’re following God’s will for the timing of your relationship and not rushing things. Pray together and ask for His guidance on when to have these important talks. Trust that God will show you the right time and give you the wisdom you need.

Talking about money can make your relationship stronger and more secure. Always be honest and kind when discussing finances, and listen to each other’s thoughts and concerns. Trust that God will help you find the right moment to have these important conversations and guide you through them.

Scripture: Proverbs 21:5

Day 3: Why You Should Talk About Finances While Dating

“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” – Proverbs 21:5

When you’re dating, discussing finances isn’t just about numbers; it’s about understanding each other’s values and life goals. For example, if one of you dreams of buying a home soon while the other person wants to spend the next few years traveling the world, knowing these goals early on can help you plan and compromise.

Understanding each other’s attitudes toward saving, spending, and debt can prevent future conflicts. Suppose one partner is a saver who prioritizes building an emergency fund, while the other enjoys spending on dining out and entertainment. Without discussing these differences, you might face misunderstandings and stress down the line. Open conversations about money habits can lead to respect and appreciation for each other’s perspectives, making it easier to find common ground.

Talking about money while dating can also show you if you share the same values and goals. For example, both of you might think it’s important to be generous and like giving to charity. Knowing this can bring you closer because you see you agree on important things. It can also encourage you to make a plan for your money that includes helping others, which makes your relationship stronger and more meaningful.

Another reason to talk about money is to make sure you can handle future problems together. Life can have surprises like changing jobs, medical emergencies, or family needs. By knowing each other’s financial situations, you can better help each other during tough times. For example, knowing one person has student loans might change how you decide to buy a car or start a business.

Ultimately, talking about finances while dating shows you’re committed to transparency and working together toward a prosperous future. Remember, the goal is not to judge each other but to understand, support, and grow together in your financial journey.

Scripture: Philippians 4:6

Day 4: How To Talk About Finances, pt. 1

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6

Starting a conversation about finances doesn’t have to be a mood killer. Approach it with an open mind and a positive attitude. Here are four ways to get the conversation going on the right foot:

Pick the Right Moment

Choose a relaxed, stress-free time when you’re both in a good headspace. It’s best not to start this conversation when one of you is tired or stressed. Maybe you can talk during a quiet dinner at home or while taking a walk in the park. A calm setting can help the talk go smoothly.

Start with a Prayer

It’s never a bad idea to start a more serious conversation by inviting God into the room. So, before you begin, say a prayer together. Philippians 4:6 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Asking God to guide your conversation can help you feel more at ease. It also shows that you both want God’s help and guidance in your relationship.

Be Honest but Gentle

When you start talking, be honest about your own thoughts and situations regarding money. For example, you could say, “I believe it’s important to save for the future,” or “I have some student loans I am paying off.” Sharing your own experiences first makes it easier for your partner to open up as well. Remember to be gentle and kind. Everyone has different experiences with money, and it’s important to respect each other’s feelings.

Focus on Goals, Not Numbers

Instead of focusing on how much money you have or don’t have, talk about your goals. What do you both want to achieve? Maybe you want to plan for a wedding, start a business together, or save for your future children’s education. Talking about goals helps you see if you are on the same page and makes the conversation more positive.

Starting the conversation with these tips in mind will help it be a fruitful time of connection and growth.

Scripture: James 1:19

Day 5: How To Talk About Finances, pt. 2

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

As you dive into the money talk, make sure you listen more than you talk, focus on what the Bible says, and use it as a time to grow closer together. Here’s how to make it a positive experience:

Listen Actively

James 1:19 tells us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” When you’re deep into the conversation about money, make sure to stay engaged. You can do simple gestures like nod your head, ask questions, and repeat what you heard to make sure you understand. You might say, “I hear you’re worried about saving for the future. Can you tell me more?” This shows respect and helps you learn more about each other.

Lean on the Bible

The Bible has a lot to say about money and how we should use it. Reading passages about finances and stewardship can help you both agree on how to handle money. For example, Proverbs 21:5 tells us, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” This verse reminds us that planning and being careful with money is wise. Take time to read and discuss Bible verses like these together. It will help you see God’s plan for your finances and bring you closer as a couple.

Dream Together

Talking about money is also a great time to dream about your future together. Use this opportunity to discuss and align your financial hopes and goals. Maybe you both want to save for a special trip or buy a home in your first year of marriage. Dreaming together helps you see if your goals match and gives you something exciting to work toward. Be transparent about what you envision for the future. Perhaps you want to start a business one day or be a stay-at-home parent. When you share your dreams, it brings you closer and makes you feel like a team working toward the same goals.

As you get serious about each other and start having more serious talks — like conversations about money — remember to always approach these discussions with love and understanding. With God’s guidance, you can turn even the toughest talks into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.