Scriptures: Psalms 51:10, Proverbs 4:23

Open the Closet of Your Heart

Psalm 51:10

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Proverbs 4:23

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Are you familiar with the term “spring cleaning?” It’s an age-old tradition of doing a “deep” clean of your home in the springtime–going beyond what you usually do to keep things tidy. It is an opportunity to refresh your home and clear out the clutter that’s accumulated over the years.

When people spring clean, they go into the closets and drawers they’ve been stuffing with random things for the past year and discard old items that no longer have value or purpose. Dedicating time each year to do a thorough spring cleaning around the house can help you maintain a healthy living environment and create a welcoming space to relax or entertain.

And while we’re all for spring cleaning your home, spring cleaning your dating life is even more important. Maybe you’ve been overlooking some “dirty” parts of your relationships. Now is the time to give your dating life a deep clean to ensure you’re putting your best foot forward and dating well.

Before you start spring cleaning your dating life, evaluating what you’re working with is essential. Sometimes we hold onto things that no longer serve us, and the same goes for relationships and dating patterns. So it’s necessary to take the time to step back, assess what’s working and what’s not, and make changes.

So, open up the “closet” of your heart and be honest with yourself about what needs to go. Your heart is the wellspring of life. The condition of your heart overflows into your thoughts, words, actions, and dating life.

Maybe you’re settling for less than you deserve, or perhaps you’re holding onto past hurts and traumas that are preventing you from forming healthy connections. Whatever it may be, take the initiative to let go of what’s not serving you and create space for healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Here are some questions to help you evaluate the closet of your heart as you begin your journey of spring cleaning your dating life:

• What past hurts and traumas am I holding on to and letting impact my current relationships?
• What areas of my dating life have I tried to control myself instead of trusting God and His timing?
• Am I choosing to date people who bring joy to my life?
• Am I dating people that drain me emotionally?
• Am I dating people who encourage me to draw closer to God?
• Am I compromising my values and beliefs?
• Do I honor God with the way I date?

Evaluate the closet of your heart without judgment so you know what needs to be cleaned. And as you go through the journey of spring cleaning your dating life, ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to keep, clean, or donate–creating room for even better things He has in store for you.

Scripture: Philippians 4:8

Clean Up Your Negative Self-Talk

Philippians 4:8

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

A great place to start when spring cleaning your dating life is getting rid of negative thoughts and self-talk. Is your mind filled with “dirty” thoughts about your worth and whether you’ll ever find love? You can clean it up by filling it with the truth found in scripture about who God says you are.

Dating can be tough, and it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative self-talk. But it’s important to remember your thoughts significantly impact your experiences, including your dating journey. There is a reason the Bible encourages us to think about true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things. Our thoughts hold great power over our mental well-being.

Spring cleaning your dating life includes cleaning up your negative self-talk and discouraging thoughts. And the best way to think about good things is to fill your mind with truth from scripture about yourself, God, and His perfect plan for your life.

Clean up your negative self-talk about yourself by remembering you were fearfully, wonderfully, and intentionally created by God. He loves you, cares about you, and wants only the best for you, like Psalm 139:13-16 so beautifully states:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Clean up your discouraging thoughts about your dating life by remembering God has a perfect plan for your life, filled with good things when you trust Him and walk according to His will, as Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

So, the next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, replace those thoughts with scripture that affirms your worth and value and God’s faithfulness. Remember, you deserve love and respect, and cleaning up your mindset can help you see the beauty in the journey as you trust God to fulfill the desires of your heart.

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 18:21-22

Get Rid of Unforgiveness and Move Forward

Ephesians 4:31-32

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Two things can hold you back from experiencing peace and joy in your dating journey: unforgiveness and an unwillingness to let people, pain, and problems from your past go. As you explore what it means to spring clean your dating life, you may realize you’re holding on to unforgiveness or an unwillingness to let go of someone or something.

The Bible says to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger. Are you bitter toward someone or something that happened in your past dating experiences? Are you still holding on to anger for what someone did to you or for a relationship that didn’t work out? Perhaps underneath that anger is sadness and disappointment because of what happened.

Only you know what hurt and unforgiveness you’re holding on to in your heart. And while you might think it will hurt less if you keep clinging to it, you’ll actually experience more joy and peace when you let it go. As they say, “Let go and let God.” Let go of past hurts, relationships, and pains, and let God fill your heart with new hope for His good plan for your life.

How do you do this practically? Start with a prayer for unforgiveness:

Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much for sending your Son to die on the cross and forgive me for all my mistakes and failures. It is because You forgave us that we can forgive others. You are the perfect example of forgiving people when they don’t deserve it. I am done holding on to unforgiveness in my heart. So, today I choose to forgive [insert who you need to forgive] and allow myself to begin healing from the pain that was caused. As I choose forgiveness, I pray for Your comfort and love to overflow onto me and help me move forward as I trust in You.

Then take practical steps to spring clean your phone and home from memories of the past. For example, remove old contacts and delete text messages and pictures from your phone. It’s one of the best ways to physically start letting someone go. Also, unfollow people on social media, like an ex or someone you dated. Take down any photos of them around your house and throw out any of their clothes or gifts they gave you.

Don’t hold onto the past and let it weigh you down any longer. Instead, start with forgiveness to “clean” your heart, and then do a bit of traditional spring cleaning to create space for new people and opportunities to come your way.

Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7

Throw out Your Worry

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

One of the best parts of spring cleaning is getting rid of things–decluttering your home and removing items that no longer spark joy (thank you, Marie Kondo).

So, ask yourself: does your worry spark joy? Does your anxiety about finding a partner help you feel relaxed and happy? Of course not! That’s why spring cleaning your dating life requires you to throw out your worries and create space for the peace of God, which will guard your heart–the wellspring of your life.

Now, you may be wondering how to get rid of anxiety because, like most things, it’s much easier said than done. Fortunately, scripture provides the exact way to do this: by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Prayer and gratitude are the antidote to worry and anxiety.

When you find yourself experiencing moments of overwhelming anxiety regarding your dating life, it can be easy to feel like you are completely alone. However, prayer provides a powerful tool to help you combat these feelings and find much-needed peace. By turning to God and expressing your fears and concerns, you can release them from your mind and entrust them into God’s hands. Through prayer, you are also reminded that you are not alone. God is always listening and ready to offer comfort and guidance.

And when you find yourself experiencing moments of worry regarding your dating life, it can be easy to focus on everything that’s going wrong, which only heightens your anxiety. Gratitude is the best way to capture negative thoughts and submit them to God. By focusing on Him, all He’s done in your life, and all you have to be grateful for, you’ll find your worries and fears start to subside. Remember, you serve a good God who is always working on your behalf. That is something to be grateful for, even when your dating life isn’t going as you hoped.

Scriptures: James 1:17, Psalms 16:2

Fill Your Closet with Good Things

James 1:17

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

Psalm 16:2

“I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’”

Part of spring cleaning is getting rid of old things you don’t need or use and creating space to fill your home with new things you love and enjoy. In a similar way, the final step in spring cleaning your dating life is filling your “closet” with good things.

Have you ever noticed how quickly clutter accumulates in a closet? It seems like every time you open it, more and more things have somehow made their way in there. The same can be said for our hearts. If we’re not intentional about filling our hearts with good things, negative attitudes and harmful thoughts can easily take up residence.

That’s why pursuing God through Bible reading, prayer, and worship is so important. It’s like taking a broom to sweep away the clutter and make room for the things that matter most. As you intentionally fill your heart with the goodness of God, you’ll experience more joy, peace, and love overflowing into your dating life.

Once you get rid of negative self-talk and discouraging thoughts, fill the closet of your heart with truth from scripture and every good thing.

Once you get rid of unforgiveness and let go of people from the past, fill the closet of your heart with a willingness and openness to meet new people rather than allowing pain to hold you back and close you off.

Once you get rid of worry and anxiety, fill the closet of your heart with trust–trust that God knows the desires of your heart, has a perfect plan for your life, and wants the best for you. And that if you walk according to His will, you will experience life to the fullest.

Continue to fill the closet of your heart with good things by pursuing God through Bible reading, prayer, and worship. If all good things come from God, staying connected to God is sure to bring good things to your life. It’s biblical, and it’s wonderful because it means you can go into this season of dating with confidence and hope for what God will do.