Co-parenting with God’s help devotional will provide practical tools on how you can co-parent well, even when it is difficult. It addresses topics such as being a peacemaker, handling fear and control, praying through assumptions and more. Each day you will be given tools to help you walk with God through your co-parenting journey. We pray it will be a reminder to you that God is in it with you.
We would like to thank Rachel G. Scott of Better Than Blended and Esther Hutchison of This Big House
Day 1
Scriptures: Romans 12:18, Romans 14:16
Co-parenting. A term that can bring about so many different emotions for each person involved. For those walking a difficult road of co-parenting, emotions such as anger, frustration, disappointment, and concern may be fitting to express this experience.
Let’s be honest, most co-parenting situations are the result of a failed relationship where two people who were once in an intimate relationship are now separated. These same two people now must raise children together that can do life and relationships well. This can seem impossible and often presents many opportunities for chaos, confusion, and strife.
Yet as followers of Christ, we know that God says in His Word, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) So how do we do this with a co-parent?
I remember being thrust into the challenge of co-parenting after my divorce. My children were young and there was so much tension between myself and my ex-spouse. Co-parenting for me has been a continuous journey of growth and dying to self. There were times when I engaged in co-parenting from such a defensive stance that there was no room for God to use me.
I have mentored many people whose greatest challenge in co-parenting is that they were co-parenting with an unbelieving parent. I understand this challenge. However, I have learned that unless God is etched into every fiber of my co-parenting interactions, I too can quickly fall into the trap of negative behavior and patterns in my co-parenting.
Being a believer doesn’t make me a better parent. It is when I invite Christ into my parenting and co-parenting that His work in me makes me a more effective and intentional co-parent. I must choose to see God as the author of my children’s story instead of as simply a character in it. It’s His story for their lives, and when we see it as such, He can get the glory from how we choose to co-parent them.
So, today I want to encourage you to be peacemakers on your co-parenting journey by allowing God to direct you on when and how to engage with a difficult co-parent. We have been called to be a light, so choose to be led by God as you co-parent.
Today’s Devotional was written by Rachel Scott
Day 2
Scriptures: Matthew 7:3, Proverbs 16:1-2, Psalms 51:10
Each summer when my children would visit their other parent, the same thing would happen.
As soon as my daughter would arrive, her stepmother would take down her freshly done hair and redo it, and each time this happened I would become furious.
I didn’t understand. What was the point? Why in the world would she redo something that was in perfectly good condition? Why wouldn’t they message me and ask me questions about her hair maintenance? Or at least ask me how long the style should last? I take care of her all year!
Eventually, I concluded that they were doing this on purpose to get back at me or to prove a point that they could be better parents than me.
I may have been right. But in all my frustration, fussing, and pointing the finger, I failed to see the logs in my own eye—logs of assumption and judgment regarding their motives and intentions.
Proverbs 16:2 says “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”
You may be saying, “Wait, we aren’t allowed to assume the reason behind a people’s actions?”
Well, from what this says, that is to be determined by God. I simply need to share my concern with God and leave it up to him to judge and handle.
As I did just that, God began to reveal to me that I had never even mentioned anything about my daughter’s hair to my ex or his new wife. Not a message, call, nothing. I just assumed that they should come to me and ask, and if they didn’t, they were acting intentionally, against me.
My logs were blinding me from seeing my sinfulness and when God revealed this to me and highlighted my pattern of entitlement, pride, and assumptions (all my seemingly right ways), His conviction led me to repentance.
I am so thankful He took the time to show me myself. Some of the greatest challenges in my walk with Christ has been a result of co-parenting. It can and will perfect us if we allow it to.
Today I want to encourage you to choose to be perfected by this process and allow God to create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you. Allow God to weigh the heart and motive of the other parent and choose to model Christ before them.
Today’s Devotional was written by Rachel G. Scott
Day 3
Scriptures: 1 Peter 5:7, 2 Timothy 1:7, Philippians 4:8
How could she let her wear that? Why would he let him watch that? She said what to you? What was he thinking?
These are some of the questions that might go through your mind or you may verbalize as you co-parent. Wanting to control the other home is a feeling that many of us experience at some point. Wondering if the other parent is making the best parental decision for the child is a concern that we may all face.
Although we love our children and want the best for them, we sometimes assume that we are the only ones that can provide ‘THE BEST’.
“I wouldn’t let them (insert your thoughts here),” and this is what makes us a seemingly better parent than the other.
If we are being honest with ourselves, we will realize this need for control, or even self-proclaimed perfection in parenting. is rooted in fear.
Let’s process this a little more. Ask yourself, “the last time I wanted to control a situation, what fear could have been present?” For example, when I kept texting my ex-husband asking him a million questions during his visit, why did I feel the need to do that? The answer, because I was worried that he would overlook something important like his homework, medication, etc. So rather than operating from a place of peace, I chose to operate in fear and that is destructive to the co-parenting relationship.
So, how do I handle this control rooted in fear? Jesus said to cast our cares on HIM for he cares about us. (1 Peter 5:7) So for me it looked like remembering that God loves my son and He will be protecting him. I had to stop those negative thoughts that filled my mind with fear because the word says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. I chose to use that power by praying over my son daily. I became more aware of what I was thinking about and started “controlling” my thought life according to Philippians 4:8. It took some time, but I stopped worrying about my son when he was with his dad because I knew God would take care of him.
Today I pray in Jesus name that God will show you where fear has you bound. I pray for freedom over you in Jesus’ name. Amen!
Today’s devotional was written by Esther Hutchison
Day 4
Scriptures: Exodus 14:14, Luke 6:27-28
So you are tired, frustrated, overwhelmed and just angry at your challenging co-parenting situation. How will you continue this partnership for another 5, 10,15 years?
As you pray, you are genuinely hoping for a change but wondering if that change will ever come. Will it get easier or will you always be at odds with your co-parent? How can you co-parent in the best way for your children?
My answer: by learning to TRUST. When co-parenting is challenging, learning to trust is a must.
I am sure you are saying, “Trust my ex? The person who has taken me through unimaginable challenges?”
We will talk about that in a moment, but first I want to encourage you to learn to trust God! It is in trusting Him that you become equipped with the tools to walk in wisdom regarding your co-parenting. Your overall trust-meter can increase because you learn what areas to trust the other parent in.
When you trust God, it relieves you of the responsibility of making things work out a certain way. Knowing you have a God that fights your battles helps with the anxieties that can come with co-parenting.
Learning to trust the other parent can help move the relationship from a place of hopelessness and despair to a place of healing and wholeness. However, without first trusting God, it will be impossible to trust someone that appears to be extremely difficult.
Once you’ve learned to trust God, you can begin to give the co-parent the benefit of the doubt, because you are learning to walk in wisdom and allowing God to lead you in what areas to trust them. You also remember that the other parent also loves the child and maybe struggling to trust you, so you both must parent with the bigger picture in mind of creating a healthier family dynamic for the children.
Please know that I understand how hard it can be to trust someone that may be creating conflict. However, choosing daily to be led by Christ will allow you to co-parent in a way that He can get the glory. Our goal should be to do better in our co-parenting today than we did yesterday. We must remember that our children are watching, our co-parent is watching, and so many others are watching. So let them see Christ in us!
Today, I pray in Jesus’ name that God fills you with His Spirit and strength to do the impossible. Be salt and light. Amen!
Today’s devotional was Written by Esther Hutchison