It takes courage and strength to stay true and pure, in a world awash with degrading values. As disciples of Christ, we are expected to live with integrity and faithfulness in the area of relationships. We are to live committed to each other, bound by love and experiencing freedom in the covenant of marriage.
Christian Institute of Management
Day 1
Scripture: Proverbs 6:26
Playing With Fire
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? – Pro 6:26
Sexual desire is like a fire that spreads as soon as it is lit. For a man, something he sees or a thought that pops up in his mind can be enough to ignite it. For a woman, if she is emotionally involved with a man, things can move fast from one step to another. The way our brain works is like this ─ once it perceives a sexual stirring, it starts a chain of events in preparation for the act. Then our reason and will begin to have less and less control on our actions. That explains why many people end up doing things they never planned to do!
But sex is a great gift from God which, apart from procreation, helps us to express our love and oneness with our spouse in a most intimate and pleasurable way. This pleasure is not just physical but also mental, and that is why we can enjoy it best with someone we love.
When one attempts it outside of marriage, it will be fraught with the fear of getting caught or of consequences like broken relationships, loss of reputation, diseases, etc. That is why God Himself has confined sexual relationship to within the marriage.
It is possible to forget all about consequences when we are moved by an infatuation or experience the pressure of temptation. That is why we can’t deal with it ‘when we come to it’, because if we go a little too far, it may become impossible to stop. That happened to David when he allowed his gaze to rest on Bathsheba instead of quickly turning away. One thing led to another, and we see the damage it did to David, the families and even the nation. We can’t play with this fire without getting burned.
But we also have the challenging example of Joseph who kept his integrity in spite of strong provocation and a seemingly “favorable” situation.
Lord, You know how vulnerable I could be when faced with temptation in the area of sex. Help me, and teach me how to deal with it. Amen
Day 2
Scripture: James 1:14
A Storm Building Up
… but each person is tempted whe’ with people in the workplace to start with. But when we spend a lot of time with someone at work or while traveling for work, this ‘
The temptation starts with one thought – ‘This is not a sin, and we haven’t become dirty yet’. That is where we have the opportunity to hop off the train that will quickly gather speed. The easiest way to do this is to turn our thoughts to something else, instead of mulling over this delicious idea in our mind, where it quickly becomes too strong for us to stop. We can either yield or overcome here.
No one falls into sexual sin suddenly. The first door we open is in the attitude that tolerates this sin. We need to keep this door firmly closed with a desire to be pleasing to our Lord by being faithful to Him. This is what gives us strength to resist temptations. The next door we open is to indulge in sexual thoughts, excusing ourselves thinking that we aren’t doing anything! Then comes allowing sexually stimulating inputs to come into our lives through books, TV, movies, internet, etc. By now we have already become very weak, and it is only a matter of time before we begin to actually take action towards sexual pleasure.
We may not have intended to ‘flirt’ with people in the workplace to start with. But when we spend a lot of time with someone at work or while travelling for work, this ‘friendly’ relationship may slowly become too personal and intimate if we are not deliberately watchful. Even when we begin to enjoy this flirting, we may not realise that we are already being unfaithful in our hearts and are slowly edging nearer to the precipice.
We have opportunities to strengthen our guard by spending more time with God, and if we are married, we can pay more attention to building our marriage relationship by spending time with our spouse.
One lie which the devil usually tells us is that we can always stop whenever we want to. But if we just look around, we have thousands of examples to warn us.
Lord, give me a sober and watchful attitude that I don’t get fooled or fool myself when I face sexual temptations. Amen
Day 3
Scripture: Proverbs 30:18-19
The Chemistry of Infatuation
Our safety lies in watching over our hearts, preserving our commitment to the Lord and to our marriage, recognizing our boundaries and not allowing ourselves to be infatuated with anyone.
What makes a boy/man or girl/woman attracted to each other? After much advance in science, we still do not fully understand how it happens. But we know something happens when a man or a woman meets the other. Something gets initiated in our minds, and it can also cause physical changes in our body. Many parents have come to know that once their son or daughter has ‘fallen in love’, there is virtually nothing that can change his/her mind; they become so ‘infatuated’ with that someone that they seem to lose their reason.
The force of infatuation can be very strong. Once we allow ourselves to be moved by the attraction of the opposite gender, there is a dulling of some of our mental faculties, and we get carried away by feelings rather than stopping to think about the consequences. We may even feel that others do not notice anything. But while this starts in our minds, very soon it is not restricted to our minds. We begin to show affection and feelings towards each other with looks, words, and by spending time together. A response from the other person quickens our pulse and soon we find ourselves sitting together, touching each other, etc., and ultimately taking the final plunge.
But the sad fact is that this infatuation may not be genuine love. Amnon, the son of David, felt strongly infatuated with Tamar, his sister, and raped her. After this, his ‘love’ suddenly turned into hatred. His infatuation had driven him to insane acts. Isn’t this how people ‘fall’ into affairs, even married people with other married people and the single ones with all kinds of people they should know better than to get linked with?
Our safety lies in watching over our hearts, preserving our commitment to the Lord and to our marriage, recognising our boundaries and not allowing ourselves to be infatuated with anyone.
Lord, I am determined to keep my integrity in this area of sex, even though I find the battle strong. Help me to be watchful. Amen
Day 4
Scripture: Genesis 39:11
Playing into Circumstances
One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. – Gen 39:11
Potiphar’s wife frequently tempted Joseph to sleep with her. But this day he found himself alone in the house with her. The pressure was strong, and the thought that ‘no one would know’ may have crossed his mind. But Joseph’s reverence for God and his determination to stay pure helped him to conquer this extremely strong temptation.
Many times our circumstances set the stage for our fall. We are extremely vulnerable to being drawn to someone of the opposite gender, if our own marriage is going through some strain. Then innocent smiles, kind words, an accidental touch ─ all appear to be appealing. A red flag should go up if we start sharing with them our personal problems, instead of keeping the relationship professional.
The cumulative stress of work pressure, travel, things that have gone wrong, etc., can even make us imagine that we deserve a little bit of self-indulgence. Consider what can happen when you travel to a distant place with this ‘friendly’ colleague and at the end of the day’s tiring work meet for dinner at the hotel. Even if you travel alone to another place, think of the ‘opportunities’ you have for indulging yourself in many ways.
A class reunion where you meet your ‘old flame’ can stir up all the infatuation of that time, and before you realise it, you find yourself craving to relive those days of fun and pleasure. Opportunities for sin are practically unlimited, and if the devil knows we have a weakness in this area, he will only be too glad to arrange special attractions for us. Nothing but rigorous watchfulness and cries to God can preserve us.
What helped Joseph was that he knew God, and he did not want to fail Him Who meant so much to him. His reply to his temptress was, ‘How can I do this to my God?’
Lord, I don’t want to fall! But I can’t manage without You. Help me to keep close to You at all times. Amen
Day 5
Scripture: 1 Peter 5:8
Onslaught Through the Media
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. – I Pet 5:8
One of the strongest attacks of the devil these days is against sexual purity, and his tool is the media. On one hand, he portrays sex as the ultimate pleasure and tries to make everyone pursue it. On the other, he tries to obliterate all restraints and restrictions related to sexual activities.
Even though sexual pleasure is a great experience, it is not the ultimate experience. Many people believe this blatant lie from the devil that is hyped up by the media beyond limits, that there is nothing like sex. They soon find out that it does not satisfy them as they expected it to, and then they resort to more of it or in grosser forms, thinking that greater bliss is just ahead! As Christians, we know that the ultimate pleasure is in the presence of God, and that even the joys of a loving relationship with our spouse or children are far better than the fleeting moments of immoral or illegal sexual pleasure.
In their pursuit after more pleasure, people throw off restraints. Here again, the media depicts casual relationships with humour and make up thrilling stories to give the impression that sex without boundaries is exciting.
What used to be a private matter for individuals and couples are now discussed openly, and what used to be hidden is now shown openly. The media is becoming more explicit in what they show, and even little children cannot escape being exposed to this onslaught. Even people with strict moral backgrounds who watch these programs, unconsciously begin to lower their standards.
Goaded by what they see flaunted on screen, people are choosing dress styles that show off more skin or curves, not realizing how much they tease others who are struggling with lust.
Therefore, we have no excuse for going with the stream or giving in to the pressure. The joy of remaining true to the Lord and to our spouse cannot be traded off for any of these fleeting pleasures.
Lord, I thank You that the Holy Spirit in me is stronger than the one that is in this world. Help me to stay with You, Lord. Amen
Day 6
Scriptures: Proverbs 6:5, John 5:6
Get Out of the Trap!
Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler. – Pro 6:5
Do you feel as if you are trapped in a situation that you cannot get out of? Perhaps it is a relationship you know you shouldn’t be in, or a habit such as watching porn. You know it is not going to be good for you in the end. But perhaps you are struggling and still not able to get out.
Even though it may sound like a cliché, it is still true that Jesus came to set us free and to give us abundant life. We do not have to settle for anything less. The crucial step is to decide to quit. You remember Jesus asking the man lying near the pool waiting for the water to move? The question was, Do you want to get well? – Jn 5:6. Actually, once you think in terms of God’s view on the matter, there is no other option but to quit.
Moving out of the situation may need some drastic measures. The process may be painful, and it may leave some scars, but in the end, you will have freedom. There may be several practical questions connected with this process, and it helps if you have someone to stand with you and support you with prayer and guidance. There can also be steps you need to take to prevent a fall in the future.
Confessing our sins and turning to God will surely restore our relationship with God. Think of the example of David, in particular, who still holds the title ‘a man after God’s own heart’. But there are many lessons to learn. Understanding how you fell and the particular weaknesses you have will help you to protect yourself in the future. He who has been forgiven much loves God much, and God may even use you in future to help others going through the same process.
Lord, I confess my sin to You, and ask You to forgive me. Oh Lord, I need You to help me to come out of this mess I am in, and to be restored to You. Amen
Day 7
Scripture: 2 Timothy 2:22
Flee from Temptation
Flee the evil desires of youth…. – II Tim 2:22
Sexual temptation is something we cannot avoid altogether. We face it everywhere in different forms. At the same time, it is one of the strongest temptations that has felled even respected Christian leaders. Our safety lies in acknowledging to God our inherent weaknesses, clinging to Him and responding to His word. The man who thinks he will not fall will surely fall, because he is not on his guard. The devil knows how to catch us in our weak moments.
No one will willingly take up a fight with an opponent he knows is stronger. But that is what we foolishly do, when we let down our watchfulness and allow the temptation to come to us in the first place. We are surely not able to stand there and fight. The right thing to do is to run away!
Isn’t it common sense to keep away from places, people and circumstances that will cause us to be tempted? In a battle with pornography, for example, should we not keep away from magazines that contain provocative pictures, or place our computers in such a way that others can see what is going on?
Some people wait for God to take away their sinful desires or to make them ‘dead’ to temptations! But God works together with us. When we keep away from temptations as much as we can, and seek God’s grace over our lives, God then gives us new understanding and strength to fight the battle. The man who passively waits for God to help him overcome sin is not serious about his holiness!
Ultimately our best defense against temptation and sin is a constant seeking after God, wanting to know Him more, to be more pleasing to Him, and desiring to accomplish His plans for our lives. Our life is an uphill journey, and a man who keeps pedaling his bicycle up the hill will be safe, while the one who tries to relax on the pedal will soon fall.