A Shattered Life: Victor Vs. Victim

Scriptures: Psalms 6:2, Psalms 10:14, Psalms 55:22, Isaiah 46:4, Matthew 11:28-30, 1 Peter 5:6-7

The Shattering

It happens. You are journeying along and then a rock of painful circumstances hits the windshield of your life creating a starburst crack. It may be a huge rock or many small pebbles, but when it happens there is the initial break, and if untended, the pain becomes vulnerable to further damage.

Your shattering could have been because of financial woes, or a relationship that was damaged by another person making bad choices. Maybe it’s your own struggle with addiction or with being miserable that you are overweight. Maybe it’s marriage issues, or the fact that you can’t ever find the right person to marry. It could be the loss of a child or another loved one, or a loved one who tried to take their own life. It may be several of these things at once! These crushing, despairing cracks of pain can spread subtly and slowly into many areas of your life, often making you fall into victim mentality without even knowing it. I know it did for me! 

As Christians we know the fruits of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness… Did you learn the verse like I did, along with the typical Sunday school lessons that we must bear good fruit by perfect behavior to get to heaven? (That’s how my immature mind interpreted them many times anyway.) Then the trauma—the starburst—happens. And feelings of love, joy, peace and all the beautiful words that echo in the scriptures and popular Bible verses sound like broken glass, crushing, streaking, tearing…echoing…echoing…haunting in their ghost-like performance. Then the voices start in your head taunting, “You know where you go if you bear bad fruit! Hee-hee-hee!”

These wonderful words of Jesus don’t seem as comforting now because that’s not what you’re feeling in the pain. How do you cope? You stuff your negative feelings. And you keep feeling more, and you stuff more. The pain keeps hammering, and you stuff, and stuff, and stuff your feelings until you’ve made a good, nice, strong wall of stuffing. That wall might as well be made out of superman-undestructable-titanium, dripping a tar-like muck with feelings of bitterness, hate, and anger. And there you are, cowering under the wall—a victim, with well-trenched mental pathways of victim mentality. Conquered. Defeated. Unworthy. Unusable….right where the enemy wants you.

If these feelings trigger a similar refrain in your head and heart, or if you know someone who struggles with these thoughts, I invite you to join me in discovering how we can live with this sometimes constant pain and still live victoriously, rather than as a victim.

Today take a moment and ask God to reveal some areas of pain in your life. This might hurt and could break open scars you thought you were done with. But in order to bring true salve to your wounds, you have to get raw and vulnerable…even if it means you have feelings that don’t seem to line up with the fruits of the Spirit. Jot down those painful areas or events and sit in meditation for a while allowing yourself to feel, holding nothing back, inviting God into your feelings no matter how rough and messy they are.

Scriptures: Psalms 31:9-10, John 8:32, Romans 6:17-23, Romans 14:12, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Hebrews 4:12-13

Victim Mentality

You might be like me…painfully looking at others and wondering why they have such a good life. Why do circumstances seem to align so right for others while things with you seem more like life was shaken up in some cosmic snow globe and allowed to crash to earth. “Good luck” at making those broken pieces amount to anything. 

Do you sometimes feel like you’re in a special club when you look around you? There are the “people with the good life” and “us”…Yeah, welcome to the club! I don’t know about you, but being in this club was never one of my dreams in life. I give up my membership! But really, if you are human, it doesn’t matter what your level of hard is. Any one of us can fall prey to victim mentality.

Victim mentality, or one who has accepted the label of a victim, is anyone who blames or reacts to their circumstances. A victim has a poor-me attitude, and is allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. They think people are always against them and are the reason for their unhappiness. They portray themselves as unfortunates who demand rescuing. When you suggest a way to put an end to the pity party, the victim will say, “Yes…but…”, then launch into more unsolvable gripes.

If you’re starting to get sweaty, your breath is shallow, and you’re getting that sinking feeling in your stomach reading this list, you might be struggling with victim mentality. No worries. Remember you’re in the club…welcome! I’ve struggled with victim mentality in the past…and by past I mean last Friday because I still have to fight many of these symptoms. Just know you’re not alone!

If you want to see victim mentality played out in its pure raw form, just observe a child. You don’t have to be around an unfiltered child very long to hear “it’s not fair”, “they made me”, “he did it”, “I didn’t do anything!”. While we may chuckle when it is said by a cute little kid, so many of us don’t outgrow that mentality and we’re just saying a bit more cleaned-up version of these things…or if we’ve learned a little self-control, we’re just thinking these things.

But do we have to live there? Even though we’ve figured out (or tricked ourselves into thinking we have it figured out) how to look right on the outside, can we even conquer our victim mentality thoughts? 

Before answering these questions and bringing some light and encouragement into our experiences, we are going to keep digging down into the hurts so that we can get to the root of this condition.

Look at the list of hurts you made the first day. Ask God to reveal any of those areas where you’ve turned true pain into a victim mindset, and mark those with a special symbol. Jot down any additional areas you see where you’ve fallen prey to victim mentality. These are going to be things you often think aren’t fair. Maybe you are comparing or envying others’ freedom, irritating your pain even deeper, or maybe there are areas where you have a “poor-me” attitude. 

As you continue writing and praying, jot down phrases or thoughts you have that may be indicators that you are struggling with a victim mentality. Be aware throughout your day when those phrases creep in. Continue to journal thoughts you have as you ponder this with self-awareness.

Scriptures: Job 6:10, Psalms 38:15-18, Matthew 10:39, Romans 8:17, Romans 8:36, Philippians 1:29

Types of Victimization: Perceived  

Any pain you feel is real and valid. Feelings may be an indicator of deeper hurts. No matter how minor or major your circumstances have been for you, if your life feels shattered, you don’t have to pretend like it’s not…. like you could anyway. 

So often the victim mentality is so deeply entrenched into our mental patterns that it seems everything and everyone is out to get us. Is there a lens you see the world through because of hurts you’ve had? Are there negative mental patterns that have rewired your brain to think everything bad happens to you? So many times those hurts become a filter we see the whole world through. Could the perception of your pain be greater than the reality? Are you allowing what people say, think, or do feed your pain without knowing if it is really directed toward you?

The other day my young daughter was trying to take a drink in the car. She sipped…and spilled. “Mom, your driving made me spill!”, emanates from her scowly face. I tell her there was a bump on the road and we couldn’t avoid it or we would crash into a car. “Well, that car made me spill!” she sassily replies. She sips again…and spills. “Mom, you and the road made me spill again!” I tell her I’m just keeping her safe on the road because a car got in our way. “OMG, that stupid car made me spill!” I snickered to myself, until I got convicted. How many times have I blamed others? Pointing fingers everywhere, knowing for sure everything on this earth is scheming to shatter my life and figuratively spilling out and making a mess.

I had to look deep, and I ask you to go there with me. It can twinge and hurt to expose ourselves to deep thinking, especially when we have true pain. But, we can’t let our pain keep us from growing our character. 

Is your faulty earthly perception causing you to experience hurts and pain that don’t really exist, or don’t exist to the depth that you are feeling them? Have these very real pains and hurts made you think everything and everyone is against you? 

God created the world to be perfect, but also gave you free will. The choice to sin led His beautiful creation to be broken and messed up. I am sorry for the agony you feel and the unfair things that have happened to you. But just as I had to do for myself, I want to remind you: don’t view the world through your shattered windshield. 

Ask God if any of your feelings may be perceived pain and jot down any thoughts. Revisit your previous list of pains and put a “P” by things that may be perceived pain. Pray for God to stop you before you have thoughts to blame, and realize pain is part of living on this temporary earth. Ask God to begin to reveal to you how you may become free from perceived feelings leading to victim mentality. 

There is no better counselor than Him! None of my words or suggestions will lead you out of this. But our loving Father will.

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 6:4-6, Psalms 73:26, Matthew 26:41, 1 Corinthians 6:12, Galatians 5:1

Types of Victimization: Addicted to Pain

We victims, unfortunately, can become addicted to our pain. You may ask, who would want that? But, we don’t plan to become addicted to pain. It’s sometimes a consequence that comes from the streaks that are part of the shattering. 

Often the pains and hurts (even totally justifiable pains) can go without care for so long they become our friends. The old wounds are comfortable. They are unchanging, and most humans (sheepishly raising my hand here) would rather know what to expect rather than imagining the unknown that may come with the process of healing our old comfortable wounds. Getting better can even be more painful for a time, and it can produce unexpected results. Even if some of our circumstances have changed for the better, we can still tend to crave that “poor me“ drive.

I realized that some of my distress was giving me an energy for life that drove me to strive. Some of that striving looked good, often leading me to success, but as I worked through healing I noticed that some of the striving was just that. Striving…for no end…for nothing meaningful or lasting. Striving to fill a gap the pain left that I should have filled with Godly healing. As I was working through rehabilitating from my old familiar aches and pains, the healing literally left a sense of void. 

Do you recognize this in yourself? Do you find yourself using victim mentality in your brain as a kind of drug? For me, instead of acknowledging my pain, I would ferociously work out, or madly clean my house. I would throw myself into a volunteer project, or angrily control my kids. When I felt down and unmotivated I would dwell on the injustice of my wounds and then I would be fired up again to keep striving to appear productive. You may be like I was: afraid, whether consciously or subconsciously, that I wouldn’t know how to keep going or know what would give me a drive in life without that fuel of pain. I was in a survival cycle for so long that I forgot there was a way to live an abundant life.

If we’ve lived in this survival mode long enough it’s like we don’t even know how to act as a free victor. Deep ruts of victim mentality run rampant through our brain like those streaks of broken glass, warping clear purpose and vision. Often we even try to operate our life a different way, but the attempts just move us back again into those same negative ditches. Therefore, we live defeated like an addict. We are defined by defeat—a victim— addicted to victim mentality.

There is only one thing we should be addicted to. Only one thing we should use as fuel for energy and a “keep fighting” mentality in life. It goes back to the number one commandment in the Bible. GOD. You shall love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your mind, ALL your strength. Anything else will keep us living defeated, no matter how successful we might look on the outside. We need to grow our relationship with Him until we crave it so deeply we aren’t ok with going moments without Him. To get to know Him so intimately those other sources of fuel will feel as fake and processed as they really are. God is your Source. Your Strength. Your Fuel. Your Engine. HE is all. He was all. He will be all. 

Until I actually learned what it meant to really BELIEVE He was my source, and how to intentionally depend on Him as my very breath, I was never able to conquer my addiction to victim mentality. If we don’t learn and grow in a true relationship with Him, we will only know how to live in the old ruts in our minds. The enemy will win.

Look at your list of pain from Day 1. Think through some of those hurts you still battle and ask God to reveal to you any areas you are holding onto the pain because you’re used to it, comfortable with it, or depending on it for energy. Ask God to give you the steps to turning that addiction into an addiction for Him. Pray and brainstorm how it may look in your life to put your eyes on Him, rather than your pain.

Scriptures: Joshua 1:9, Psalms 51:10-12, Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 5:15, Colossians 3:5-10, Philippians 4:6-8

Types of Victimization: Victim to Things You Can Change

Many of us fellow victims who think we’re in that “special club” do have obvious circumstances that justify our feelings—circumstances we absolutely can’t change. Often though, we become so immersed in the pain of what happened that we carry defeat into other circumstances that we do have power to change. Many times we give up to the fortuities of life and barely get by, yet we don’t need to live shattered under a wall of pain. Very often we have to make a CHOICE to change!  

Ask yourself, am I a victim to something I can control?  You can’t manipulate others to your will. Rechoreographing the past isn’t within your ability. You don’t have authority over some circumstances that have to do with other people. But, what can you change? You can change your outlook. Mastering your perceptions are in your full power. You carry the full weight of responsibility within your habits and mindsets! 

Sit and reflect for a minute. Ask yourself, what suffering do I continually struggle under? Ask Him, Lord, are there things I need to quit that are holding me back from living in abundant victory? Lord, are there things I’m not doing that would help me live victoriously? Am I just living under a bunch of excuses and listening to lies from the enemy? Am I allowing those lies to paralyze me from action I am supposed to be taking? 

Change can be hard. It’s a lot of work! We may be so beat down from real hurts that we just can’t seem to muster the energy to fight for the things we can change. I had to stop and ask myself, and I invite you to as well…are we ok to live defeated when it’s something we can change?! Maybe the mountain of things we need to change is huge and is shadowing our “want” to even take a step. Maybe we don’t even know how to step outside our circumstances to see what we are and are not responsible for. I know I struggle with this a lot! But, we must fight anyway! 

Change is required to move from being defined as a victim or as a victor. Are you a victim to negative thoughts? You can change this by renewing your mind daily with what The Word says about you.

Are you a victim to food? You can take small steps by slowly choosing different foods that give you energy and fuel you properly for life. 

Are you a victim to health issues? Maybe you can’t control everything about your health, but what can you do? Can you start walking? Can you get to bed at a decent time? Quit eating as much junk? Look into purchasing quality vitamins? 

Are you a victim to your job? Can you quit the “poor-me” attitude at work and see it as your mission field? Can you talk to your boss and reset your boundaries so that stress doesn’t overtake you? Can you start looking for a new job? 

The question isn’t what is happening to you. The question is WHAT CAN I DO? Many of these actions could totally put us on a new trajectory for life.

Don’t look at the mountain. Don’t look at the shattering pain. Just look at the next step. Take that step, and then begin looking for the next. Soon that mountain of change that you need to conquer will get smaller and smaller.

Pay attention to the verbs in these scriptures and make a list of things God may be calling you to do to stop living in victim mentality.

Scriptures: Zechariah 4:6, John 16:33, Romans 8:18, 1 Peter 5:9-10, 1 John 5:4-5

Victor vs. Victim

Only two letters separate the words victor and victim, yet vastly different outcomes result from living through one or the other. The language itself is intriguing. The basis of the word vict is Latin and means to conquer. The ending of the word…you get to choose. Victor or victim? One word ending means that you are the one doing the conquering. The other means you are the one who is conquered. How can two words so similar in origin, be so diametrically opposed in meaning? 

How does it happen that we know which side of the conquering we want to be on, yet we are living completely opposite?  

A word is so easy. The thought, “Well, of course I’m a victor” seems so simple. But many of us are living shattered lives in an ugly, dirty world that is banging, rattling, and shaking us. It turns an obvious choice into a full-fledged fight. If we’re not aware and aren’t fighting, then “vict”-im is the default result. 

We hear the words of God’s Holy Word, For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. (Deut. 20:4) Yet, despite these encouraging words we want to believe, we continue to live with a mentality of being a victim—defeated, conquered—hanging on in this earthly life just because we don’t see any other choice. We often don’t even see how victory is possible with the past experiences we have and the circumstances we live with.  

Maybe we’re looking at this wrong. Maybe we have worldly eyes, looking at events rather than using a Godly lens to see what He may be doing through the hardships. When I look at my pain, I have every right to be angry. Many things are not fair in the world’s standard of justice. But if I shift perspective, can I see myself on the winning side? Am I expecting an easy, care-free life, or am I willing to fight, even my own expectations, to let God do a work in me?

It makes me consider one of my most favorite survivor stories about Corrie Ten Boom. Her true-story account of barely surviving a Nazi concentration camp taught me about looking beyond hard circumstances to see true purpose in pain. The part that stuck with me most is while in the concentration camp Corrie, her sister, Betsie, and fellow bunk mates began to struggle with an infestation of fleas in addition to all the other atrocities of the camp. Corrie asked Betsie how they were supposed to continue living that way. It was no fair! Betsie looked beyond the circumstances of the victims they were and actually saw the fleas as an answer to prayer! Because of the flea infestation the guards wouldn’t inspect their barracks, leaving them free to keep their contraband Bible and continue holding worship services. They could have wallowed in victim mentality—totally justified, but with a perspective switch they were able to live the most harsh of circumstances as victors.

As you pray through the meaning of the words victim and victor, ask God to let you see circumstances through His eyes. Ask Him, are the pains and troublesome events of my life actually transforming me into a victor? Am I just seeing it all wrong?

Ask Him for a personal perspective change. As you look at the list of pains you wrote down at the start of this study, jot beside them how they could actually be a source of victory for you rather than making you feel like a victim. 

How can God use your pain to bring purpose and a mission in your life? Dream big here! Often the biggest trials and adversities bring about the greatest, most victorious lives!

Scriptures: Psalms 61, Psalms 77:1, Psalms 94:16-19, Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7

Ways We Cope: Turning to Lesser Gods & Stuffing

Many times as we dive deeper and deeper into the muck of living as a victim we look for things or ways to cope to help us survive. These things can spiral us further and further down causing our grasp on freedom to slip from our mucky hands. Some of these coping mechanisms can be turning to “lesser gods” to numb our pain such as binge eating, binge show watching, destructive relationships…anything we overdo in life as a means to escape our pain. These things we place as lovers in our life that are not of God. Many of these addictive dopes sink in their nasty claws, yet offer no strength. They will not stand up over time or answer back when we go to them for help. Can any of those mechanisms really love us, give us a reserve of strength, or help us heal?

Other coping mechanisms can be stuffing our pain, whether consciously because we don’t think those out-of-control feelings are right, or we just can’t or don’t want to deal with the reality of pain. We stuff and stuff until it becomes habit. But many times we get so full of stuffing our feelings, there’s just not any more room. Stuffed feelings keep us from going forward in our emotional and relational life. Stuffers survive, but never thrive in the present. Our emotional focus is always looking backwards and inwards at the hurts and pain, not outward and forward in healing and purpose.

Even as a Christian it is ok to hurt. Feelings are ok. I mean look at David! God called him a man after His own heart, yet have you ever seen someone so bi-polar, moody, and flaky?! He probably even suffered from binge-palace building and it’s obvious some other vices he had for coping. I believe one of the many purposes for the Psalms is to show us how to deal with our feelings. 

It is ok to cry out to God, to complain, to lay it on Him, to moan. And we need authentic Godly people in our life that allow us to go there. Christians need other Christians that allow them to unstuff. To allow us to be ok not to be ok. To be patient, to hold and comfort us and not even give answers. It is vital that we have those true friends that don’t expect us to just hear a perfect Bible verse and be instantly cured. Yes, we need to hear truth. And yes, we need to allow it to penetrate the hurt, but it’s not going to happen right away. 

All of David’s moaning ended in praise. Because when you are unstuffing, and doing it in the right way—mostly to the One who can handle all your crazy feelings without getting offended—it’s very hard to stay angry and hurt and bitter.

Today in your reflection time go ahead and unstuff. Lay it on God. He can handle it! Ask Him to reveal any unhealthy coping mechanisms you are using or have a tendency to use to muffle the pain. Ask Him to help you focus outward and forward rather than inward and backward. 

Remember, in these times of opening up with God that He is a merciful and gracious God who is LOVE! There is no condemnation from Him in opening up your feelings! He cares for EVERY PART of you!

Scriptures: Psalms 30, Psalms 139:1-12, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Galatians 6:2, Hebrews 10:24-25

Ways We Cope: Isolation

The enemy wants us to think bad things happen only to me. No one else deals with what I do. No one else has this type of pain that gnaws and bites all day, every day, over and over, year after year. No one else notices my pain—notices that things are harder for me than it is for them. 

So we isolate. We become so comfortable in our little “club” that we forget it’s more than a single person club. There is no victory when we stay isolated in our victim mentality.

I live in Oklahoma where we have tornadoes. If you don’t know what a tornado is and how it works, just picture an unpredictable cyclone of terror destroying whatever or whomever it may decide to descend on. I recently learned that tornadoes only have damaging power when they’re alone. When other cyclones start to form and try to join up with another storm, each separate tornado fizzles and disappears. But the storm which remains alone becomes destructive. 

How parallel is that to our pain! We are a single source of cyclone pain, allowing it to terrorize and destroy our path, and if left alone we can just continue on in that destructive manner. When we break out of isolation by sharing our pain, we realize there are many others out there with their own “cyclone” of pain. As we join together, sharing and bringing to light our hurts, not only will our terror start to subside, it causes the other person’s terror to subside as well.

If this doesn’t speak to your spirit, you may also consider that you are in a God-ordained season of isolation from people so that you can only turn to God. Sometimes He gently allows you to have those feelings of loneliness so that He can prepare to launch you into something greater. Do some soul searching in how or why or who you may feel isolated from. Be open to the work God may be doing in you as you have more time to spend with Him.

Another way we isolate is from God. We may think our little matters aren’t enough to bring to Him. We may even blame Him for being the cause of hard things. 

Even if you feel God is distant, He is always right there waiting for you to be awakened and turn to Him.

For reflection today ask yourself if you are building up greater feelings of pain by isolating. First, make sure you are not isolating from God. Ask Him to help calm your storm. Second, ask God if he is bringing you into a season of isolation to reveal His next plan to you. Then work on your community. If you don’t already have a good, strong source of true community around you, begin to build one. 

Victim mentality will tell you it’s not your responsibility to find good people for your life, but think victoriously and prayerfully. Open your life, storms and all, to invite others in.

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 20:1-4, Psalms 144:1-2, Proverbs 4:23-27, Romans 8:37, 1 Timothy 6:12, Revelation 21:7

Victory in Scriptures

After limping through my shattered life, I had to rectify my feelings about the scriptures. So many of the Bible promises that once gave me comfort didn’t line up with how I felt about my life. 

You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I don’t feel very protected from trouble God! 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. That may be true for some people, but it must not be for me. I don’t feel like he cares for me! 

I wrestled and struggled with these feelings, but had experienced God enough to know His Word was true even if I didn’t always feel it. How then could I read about Him being a loving God—One who gives me refuge and peace—and still account for my pain? 

Why do the same old “Christian” sayings and answers just not penetrate our hurts?

Maybe we don’t truly understand the scriptures and the application of those words. Maybe love isn’t always soft and cuddly, but can be fierce. Maybe protection is allowing things to happen that make me so dependent on Him; maybe He’s protecting me from my own sin. Is it possible His care for me is pushing me from comfort to purpose? Maybe peace is really a verb that means a fight for peacemaking. Patience, while a good character trait, can hurt in the process of learning to live it.

Why is it that the Bible says the battle has been won, but it doesn’t feel like any winning is happening in life? This doesn’t even make sense! We’re still fighting. I’ve got the open wounds to prove it! 

What God showed me in this area is that yes, the battle has already been won, but we are in boundary wars. The whole message of The Word is of the battle being fought and won. He has already conquered death and the grave. We are victorious! Our job is to hold the boundaries, and not fall back into being conquered as a victim. 

So what is the boundary? The boundary is your heart. Many times you can’t help your circumstances, your past, or what may happen to you in the future, but you can arm up and defend the boundaries that have already been gained for you—the salvation of your heart. You’re not in charge of the battle. That’s God’s job. You’re just the soldier holding the line.

So what could this mean for you? It may mean staying in that hard marriage and continually allowing God to love through you, realizing the “hard” is exactly what is doing its work in you. 

It may mean showing up at that dead-end job with those hardened people day after day and having a good attitude no matter what is thrown at you. 

It may mean paving a new pathway of purpose for your life and not letting generational curses keep you trapped in the same old ways of doing things. 

It may mean getting up every day and reading The Word and pouring out your heart to God over and over, even when you don’t feel like it or don’t feel like it’s doing any good. 

It may mean accepting that you can’t change the past, but you can use the pain to catapult you to a great purpose in life.

Spend some time today praying and asking God what boundaries in your heart He is asking you to keep, to hold the line victoriously. Write those thoughts down and continually circle back to them and be open to re-asking as new battles may arise.

Scriptures: Luke 10:19, John 16:33, 2 Corinthians 2:14, Ephesians 6:10-11, 1 Peter 2:9, 1 Peter 4:13

Living the Victorious Life

We’ve read the scriptures that say we are overcomers. We may know it. We may even believe it. But it’s just so hard to live it—to keep fighting. We are exhausted. Being a victim to impossible or trying circumstances is not fair. I am sorry, dear friend, for your hurts. Life is so hard, and yes, sometimes way harder for some than it is for others. Not only is our own fleshly nature fighting against our spirit nature, we have a very real, alive enemy who knows our past and our hurts and does everything he can to use them against us.

This may seem hard, but could you see your pain and hard circumstances as a purpose He allowed specifically for you to bring about His work? A privilege to… share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation…Victorious! As a victor! 

He may have chosen the very pain and hardship you are living (not caused it, necessarily, but allowed) for a specific plan in mind for you. Read that again…you were chosen for this!

This broken, sick world is allowed to run rampant BECAUSE of a loving Father who gave free will. We could fall victim to many of the circumstances that free will creates. Ultimately, living as victim or victor, a shattered life, or a grace-filled life, comes down to choice. We have to daily, sometimes each moment, choose to wear the victor’s crown, often setting aside the life we think we should have for the life that He has gently orchestrated for us. 

He’s a loving Father Who cares for us too deeply to let us have an easy life. He allows us to live a fighter’s life so that we will appreciate our victorship status, and boldly wear the crown.

Today in your prayer time with Him, ask how He can use your pain and shattering for a purpose. Begin to dream and plan what your life could look like if you stripped the chains of victimization and lived freely as a victor, even if none of the hard circumstances get better or change. 

Write boldly on a note card and put it where you will see it often:  I AM A VICTOR THROUGH HIM.

Thank you, fellow victors, for joining me in this plan. Welcome to The Victory Club! I claim that label proudly and proclaim it over each of you who read this.