When we experience sexual abuse, it has the potential to shatter and steal most of who we are. This pain can linger for years with us and rob us of a full, healthy, and whole life. But letting go and forgiving those who have hurt you is possible. Beating Your Shame the Jesus Way will not only bring freedom to your soul but will flood your life with a supernatural love for those around you. It is this incomprehensible love that will change the course of your life forever.
Carmen Watt
Day 1
Scriptures: Luke 6:27-28, Isaiah 43:2, Lamentations 3:22-25
Love the Jesus Way
Sexual abuse is unforgivable. It can entirely destroy and ruin your life. Perhaps you are reading this plan with hurt and resentment in your heart because of what has been stolen from you. Perhaps you are an adult trying to come to terms with your past. Perhaps you have behavioral problems that were born from abuse. You might be stuck and don’t know why. You probably don’t even want to think about it or speak about it. But there is a way out.
In the next few days, we are going to go through scriptures that will help us heal our souls—a journey where true forgiveness is possible even if we cannot see how. Shame from sexual abuse can linger well into adult life and has the potential to steal peace and joy. It ruins relationships and keeps us from having a fulfilling life. Victims of sexual abuse often struggle to find freedom, even if it is the one thing they desperately need.
Sexual abuse of a child is often referred to as the “death of the soul”.(1)
There is a big part of the soul that dies when one is hurt in such an awful way. Being a follower of Christ has helped others to regain life, though. It can take many years to recover, but it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. One’s healing path doesn’t have to be 40 years in the Wilderness.
Christ can resuscitate us and help us heal in a way that would bring nourishment, not only to ourselves but also to those around us. Though, to heal The Jesus Way is not easy. One of the hardest things to do when it comes to healing the Jesus way is to love our enemies.
Luke 6:27 says: “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies”.
Sexual abusers are every victim’s enemy. But here in Luke 6, Jesus commands us to love our enemies.
We are challenged by scripture and Jesus himself to love those that do evil. Might loving our enemies bring us closer to forgiving? Might it be a doorway to complete healing for victims of abuse? Love has a way to remove darkness from life, even the dark umbrella of sexual abuse. Restoring life after sexual abuse is possible.
Loving your enemies is a tall order but let us dive into the Word of God and learn together how it is possible to love those that stole so much from us.
Reflection:
Do you struggle to find any love for those who have hurt you or any evil doers for that matter? Do you carry resentment from what has been done to you?
God is with you; He has been and will always be. He will never forsake you. He is with you on this difficult road to freedom. He can restore your life.
Prayer for today:
Lord, help me to heal in a way that will set me free from pain, anger, bitterness, and sadness. I have lost so much already. Help me not to lose my future as well.
Guide me through your word and help me understand what you have done for me by sacrificing your life so I can live in the same power and light. Lord, set me free from anything that is keeping me from moving forward.
Amen.
Day 2
Scriptures: 1 Peter 3:8-9, John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:7-12, Psalms 9:9-10
Forgive The Jesus Way
When we deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse it is crucial to know that it was not our fault. Guilt and shame can follow you to your grave, but with Christ, we have the opportunity to be set free completely in every area of our lives—body, soul, and spirit.
To be set free, one must stop blaming oneself. Instead, you should blame the right person. The blame for your hurt and pain is on your abuser, not you. And behind the abuser is the biggest thief and our greatest enemy on earth, the devil.
John 10:10 reads: “The thief comes, to steal, and to kill, and to destroy”.
When we face such an enemy, we can only beat him with the power of God’s weapons. Grace and forgiveness are undeniably some of the most powerful weapons you can have in your arsenal. Our earthly weapons and ways of revenge do not produce victory.
Let us look at the concept of forgiveness for a moment.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment toward a person who has harmed you.
Forgiving those who abused you does not mean that you have to reconcile with them or sit around the same table. Forgiveness is more than that. You can forgive and still seek justice, especially when the abuse continues and affects others.
Forgiveness can be a process. Forgiveness is not closing this process without healing and cleaning the wound. Forgiveness is not shoving everything under the carpet. Forgiveness does not excuse wrong behavior. Forgiveness is working through the pain, accepting what has occurred in your past, and deciding how to find hope for the future. Forgiveness is freeing ourselves. Forgiveness is a change of heart. Forgiveness is living The Jesus Way.
So, how does this “way” look in real life?
Well, Jesus prayed. Even in his last moment, Jesus asked “Father, forgive them” while they tortured Him, hung Him, and killed Him.
You might think, “Yes, but that is Jesus. Only He could have done that. This supernatural, mind-blowing grace does not apply to us.” But, if you are a believer then it does mean that this applies to you.
Depending on how you look at life, for us, as followers of Christ, we have the privilege to follow Christ wholeheartedly. That means “as He is, so are we in this world” (1 John 4:17-19.) He has called us to a higher standard of living: the standard of His Kingdom.
God would not ask us to live in a way that is not possible. It might be hard, but not impossible. His way of loving others is freeing and liberating to us.
Jesus has called us to live a life just as radical as His. He profoundly loved people. He loved those that were hated by others. He excused the inexcusable. He saw good in people when others saw evil. He even built His church with Peter who betrayed Him!
He called us to love as He had loved. He even said people will know that we are followers of Jesus when they look at us. People will know we are His when we love each other as He loves us. (John 13:34-35)
That seems almost impossible.
It is easy to love your friends, those who care for you, and those that treat you fair. It is hard to love a pedophile, a child abuser, and a rapist. They do not deserve love, right? For many years I thought Jesus was on my side by loving all people except those who abuse children. I almost did not classify such a person as a human. I did not understand God’s love yet.
This type of love is only possible with His grace, mercy, and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Reflection:
Do you struggle to forgive? Do you feel burdened by your past? Will you allow God’s word to change your heart so you can be free from what is keeping you in the past?
God loves you; He does not want you to live in bondage. He has already paid the price for your freedom on the cross. If you still suffer in the present, keep holding on. There is hope.
Prayer for today:
Lord, forgiveness is hard. Help me to look to you for strength to face what has happened to me and to deal with my hurt and pain. Help me to see what you see. Shower me with your grace and mercy so that I can stay on the path of forgiveness and healing.
Teach me your ways. The ways of your Kingdom.
Amen.
Day 3
Scriptures: 1 John 4:15-17, Philippians 3:14-17, Psalms 103:10-14, Matthew 7:7-12
Heal The Jesus Way
On your road to true healing and freedom, you will have days where the task to forgive and letting go seems too much of a burden.
You might experience triggers and thoughts of anger. You might have nightmares and sleepless nights. It will seem easier to just ignore what happened and move on. The challenge is to reach a destination where you know that you constantly need God’s grace and mercy in your own life.
We need His grace to heal and overcome, and when we overcome, Heaven rejoices.
When we do not give up and continue to live in the light of Christ we declare that our pasts do not determine our future. Our trauma will not keep us captive. We declare that God is good despite the actions of people. We show the world that it is possible to love boldly—The Jesus Way—even to those who deserve this love the least.
In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus shares a parable about how a servant begs for their master to forgive his debt and the master shows him grace and forgives all his debt. Later, the servant finds someone who owes him money and refuses to give him the same grace, even though the servant’s much larger debt had just been forgiven!
This happens every day to all of us. We want to receive grace but are not willing to show the same grace to others.
So, how can we live from a place of utmost gratitude for the life that we have in Christ even when we were molested or sexually abused as children?
Firstly, begin to accept His forgiveness and grace in your own life. The revelation of His pure love for you will transform your heart. It will transform your whole life. This grace will give you new lenses to see the world through the eyes of Jesus. Having new “glasses” will never dismiss what happened to you. Your new glasses are there to help you heal.
It is difficult to stay the same when you experience God’s grace in your life. It does not mean that what happened to you does not carry any weight. It only means that the weight will shift from your shoulders to the arms of Jesus. He will deal with those who abused you.
Romans 12:19 reads: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord”.
Healing gives back power to the abused child. True forgiveness produces true healing. And grace always supersedes forgiveness. You cannot forgive without making grace part of your life.
Secondly, Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” He waits for you to ask. Jesus always treats our past with grace. He will carry all your weight, all your shame, and all your hurt.
When you need grace, ask. When you need mercy, ask. When you need to forgive, again… ask.
Reflection:
The Holy Spirit has been given to us to overcome the darkness of this world, including all the pain that you had to endure as a child. The thief might have stolen plenty, but we have the power, through Christ, to recover, heal, and flourish.
Do you need the power of the Holy Spirit? Are you struggling to forgive on your own?
Prayer for today:
Lord, thank you for your Holy Spirit. Help me to stay humble and ask for help when I need it. Help me to live out the grace that you have given me.
May my life be a testimony of your goodness, power, and forgiveness.
Lord, help me to walk in true forgiveness, every day.
Amen.
Day 4
Scriptures: James 4:6, 1 Peter 2:21-24, Ephesians 2:4-10
Reign The Jesus Way
True healing seldom happens in a moment. Forgiveness can even happen multiple times. There is no blueprint for healing because we are all made differently and our past hurts and sufferings are unique. There is only one of you and your life story is your story.
Childhood trauma may resurface in adulthood and will scream for our attention if we do not deal with it. We need to find ways to mend what happened so many years ago. When you get hurt, both your body, soul, and spirit can get hurt. Which is why it is so important to heal every part of who you are. There are many tools that we can use to heal. These include receiving good advice, seeking counseling, connecting with loving friends that listen, having a healthy lifestyle, and exercising to name a few. Ultimately, though, nothing beats living like Jesus.
Forgive and love your enemies.
The wonderful thing about healing the Jesus way is that it allows us to share God’s goodness and faithfulness with others. We become His witnesses.
When we recover, we are a beacon of light to others. When we forgive, we lead others to freedom. When we heal, we are set free from shame and guilt. When we love, instead of hate, we proclaim that Christ is Lord over our lives and not what happened to us.
Yes, you will struggle. Yes, you will have triggers and anger might raise its head. Yes, anxiety and depression will knock on your door. But, you do not have to open the door. You can run to your Father and ask for Grace and Mercy which He freely gives to those who ask.
As we conclude this reading plan, my friend, I want to encourage you to fill up your arsenal with the weapons of Heaven. Do not let one more day go by with sadness, grief, and anger clouding your life.
In John 16:33 Jesus reminds us: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
We can also overcome, The Jesus Way!
Reflection:
The world can be a very harsh and evil place. We will have trouble. There will be suffering. But with Christ we are overcomers. Are you prepared and ready to heal and grow into the person that God has made you to be?
Remember you are precious in the eyes of the Lord.
Freedom is yours!
Prayer for today:
Thank you, Lord, for the revelation of your Word. Thank you that I have been given a spirit of power and strength. Please help me to make grace and mercy part of my life, so that I can truly forgive and reign with you.
Amen.