Has anxiety kept you from the life you were meant to live? Ever felt defeated by fear, worry, or panic? I have! In this devotional plan, I share a powerful story from my battle with anxiety and the life-changing lessons I learned from the Bible along the way. This plan is full of honesty, hope, and help for you today!
Scott Savage
Day 1
Scriptures: Ephesians 6:12, John 10:10, 2 Timothy 1:7
“This is the most beautiful place on earth.”
Those words moved through my mind as I pushed off the shore at Glacier National Park in northwest Montana. Earlier that year, family friends relocated near the park, and our family traveled to visit them after a challenging season of life.
I wanted to learn how to paddleboard, but fear and anxiety kept me off the board for years. After dinner one night, my wife was engrossed in a novel, and I asked if she wanted to try paddling with me. “No, but you can go alone,” she replied. Without any excuses to fall back on, I prepped the board and headed out for an evening paddle.
It was everything I had hoped for and more. The water was smooth as glass. The sun was coming down for a beautiful sunset. The air was much cooler than our home in the desert, and surprisingly, I was doing great!
As I passed the launch area near our campsite, I continued paddling rather than calling it quits. Moments later, I lost my balance and fell into the cold water. Shocked by the water’s temperature, I scrambled back on my board only to discover my fall had an audience of ten or so people on the shore nearby.
Blushing with embarrassment and shivering from the cold, I sat on the board and paddled out to the last remaining area of sunlit water to warm up. My inner voice that evening was not kind. “See?! That’s why you didn’t want to do this. Instead of calling it quits while you were ahead, you fell in the water while everyone watched. I’m not sure why you thought this was a good idea.”
As I warmed up and my inner voice calmed down, I sensed a different voice speaking within me. It was not a voice of criticism or condemnation. Instead, this voice was calming, compassionate, and truthful. It was the voice of the Holy Spirit, and what I heard radically changed my life.
Though not audible, that night, I sensed God saying to me, “Scott, you’ve been terrified of falling and failing. You are trying to be perfect as a pastor, a husband, and a father – and that’s impossible! So you’ve been settling and holding back. You’ve been avoiding risks because you’re afraid. I’ve had so many moments like tonight that I wanted to share with you, but your anxiety and insecurity have kept you from receiving those invitations.”
While fear and anxiety had led me to miss out on a great hobby for many years, they were costing me much more. I was losing a battle in my mind and heart. I was missing out on life, faith, and purpose!
As you’ve read my story today, I wonder if you’ve missed out, too. Is there a fear or a sense of anxiety that has kept you from experiencing all that Jesus wants to offer you? In John 10, Jesus said He came to give an abundant life. Indeed, He didn’t mean a life without struggle or difficulty. But is it possible you and I have been missing out on the beauty, wonder, joy, glory, and abundance Jesus has for us because of our fear and anxiety?
In Ephesians 6:12, the apostle Paul describes a battle going on in our hearts and minds. He says the battle is not against people. The battle is within us, and our enemy is spiritual. Just as Jesus describes our enemy in John 10 as coming to steal, kill, and destroy, Paul describes our enemy in Ephesians 6 as spiritual powers of darkness. These powers oppose Jesus and His purpose in your life and mind.
Because of Jesus, you have a future beyond anything you could imagine. All that abundance lies on the other side of finding Jesus in this battle and trusting Him to do what you cannot do for yourself.
Over this five-day plan, I want to help you become aware of this battle and equip you to fight it. I can’t wait to share the next day in this plan with you as we explore the first of four things you need to know about this battle. We’ll correct a lie that may have cost you much freedom and confidence.
Day 2
Scriptures: Matthew 14:22-33, John 9:1-3, Revelation 12:10-11
I was soaked and embarrassed when I fell into the water during my first paddle. On many occasions like that one, I’ve allowed concerns over what people might think of me to paralyze me.
After falling into the water in Glacier National Park, I remembered the story of another man who had also fallen into the water. In the Bible, Peter got wet in a lake one day when he did something that induced fear. However, his time on the water was far more remarkable than mine.
In Matthew 14, in the middle of the night, Jesus walked on the water of the Sea of Galilee. When the disciples saw him walking on the waves, Jesus invited Peter to step out of the boat and walk towards him. Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on the water in an incredible act of gravity-defying faith. As you may know, he began to sink when he saw the size of the waves. Jesus pulled Peter out of the water and helped him back into the boat.
Peter’s story reminded me of a powerful lesson. Anxiety in our minds is often a result of obedience to Jesus, not a sign of disobedience. Peter ended up in a dangerous, anxiety-inducing spot because he had accepted Jesus’ invitation.
When I first began dealing with panic attacks eight years ago, I had just taken a massive step of obedience in response to my wife and I sensing God leading us towards a new opportunity. I thought of messages I’d heard in past church settings when it came to worry and anxiety. “Trust God more.” “Pray about it.” “Could there be some sin in your life? ”
I’d heard older Christians communicate the idea that suffering and adversity were the product of disobedience and punishment from God.
This mindset is present today and in the Bible in places like John 9, when certain people wondered whose sin caused a man to be born blind. Have you ever found this idea in your thinking regarding suffering? Have you ever wondered if it was the result of someone’s sin? Some people teach that if you obey God, He will bless you with health and wealth.
The problem with this line of thinking is the Bible disagrees! A man named Job was obedient and righteous, yet he experienced tremendous loss. The writer of Ecclesiastes had all kinds of health and wealth yet felt incredibly unsatisfied and depressed.
These experiences remind us of the importance of ensuring that what we believe aligns with Scripture and leads us to the life Jesus promised. In her best-selling book on mental health, Get Out of Your Head, author Jennie Allen declares that “the greatest spiritual battle of our generation is being fought between our ears.”
So, let me make an important point today. Your anxiety and fear are not necessarily a sign that you’ve been disobedient. If your anxiety has kept you from taking actions as significant as changing careers or as simple as getting out of bed in the morning, God has not condemned you. If you’ve had a panic attack that paralyzed you and made you question whether God loved you, then I’m here to tell you that God loves you beyond comprehension.
However, you and I have an enemy. His name is Satan, and according to Revelation 12, he is the accuser of brothers and sisters in Christ. He is going to attack us mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. He will seek to leverage our fears and anxieties to lead us to sin and distrust God.
But here’s the good news. Our enemy may be more powerful than us, but he is not more powerful than Jesus. Jesus defeated this enemy by dying on the cross and exiting the tomb three days later. Jesus is present in your battle, and I want to help you find Him and the victory He offers as we continue in this plan.
Tomorrow, we will examine where our thoughts are going and the agency we have in shaping where our thoughts go.
Day 3
Scriptures: Matthew 14:25-30, 2 Corinthians 10:5, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Proverbs 4:23
“In the last 30 days, I’ve had a moment where I felt overwhelmed.”
I was preaching one Sunday at my church when I first asked people to respond to this statement. Most people in the room raised their hands in agreement. Many of us are all too familiar with the feelings of anxiety, fear, and dread. There is a well-worn path within us to being overwhelmed.
I wonder about you. Read that opening statement again and consider the last time you felt overwhelmed. Was it 24 hours ago? Seven days? A month?
If we asked the Apostle Peter, he would’ve said, “When Jesus invited us to get out of the boat, I stepped out. I was doing pretty good until I saw the waves.” Peter was doing well. He’d been more courageous than the other disciples who remained in the boat.
However, Peter became overwhelmed and sank once his eyes shifted from Jesus to the size of the waves on the tumultuous Sea of Galilee. While I’ve heard many pastors chastise Peter for his sinking, I want to commend him for getting out of the boat. He should be celebrated, not condemned.
At the same time as we celebrate Peter’s courage, we can learn from his mistakes. What was his mistake? He shifted his focus from Jesus to the conditions of the water. Since his focus impacted his footing, shifting his focus led him from a stable footing to sinking.
The same is true for us. Our focus tends to impact our footing. The things we think about and fixate on can determine our sense of how life is going in the present and how it will go in the future.
I’ve discovered that my inputs have a direct relationship to my outputs. What I put into my mind tends to shape what my mind gravitates towards. Recently, I found myself having a hard time falling asleep at night. When I began to inventory how I spent my last couple hours before bed, I realized that I was listening to and watching news material about politics. This material dripped with drama, conflict, sensationalized reports, and depressing stories. While awake, what I was filling my mind with kept me from a peaceful, refreshing sleep. This sleeplessness is why the writer of Proverbs warned readers to guard their hearts.
When Peter had his focus on Jesus, he was able to do what had previously seemed impossible. But, when Peter focused on the obstacles and challenging conditions around him, he was overwhelmed quickly. I love how my friend and author, Carlos Whittaker, applies this lesson: “Glance at the world and gaze at God.”
When we gaze at God, we discover His power in our weakness and strength in our time of need. But, when we spend hours scrolling, watching, listening, and binging content that takes our focus in the opposite direction, we will find ourselves sinking like Peter. While we cannot control the circumstances or thoughts that enter our minds, we can choose what we fill our minds with and what we give our limited attention to each day.
I don’t expect you to do this perfectly, as I know I will not do this perfectly either. But, this is the path away from anxiety and towards peace. I’m excited to share the next installment of this plan tomorrow, where we’ll dive into what to do when we fail in this battle.
Day 4
Scriptures: Matthew 14:31-33, Matthew 17:20-[21], Romans 8:1
When I returned to my campsite after falling in the water, my wife asked me how it went. In the twilight shadows, it was evident that she couldn’t see my soaked clothes. “Well, I fell.” After she said she was sorry to hear that, I shared my epiphany on the water that night and my conversation with God. “Wow,” she said. “That sounds like something that will end up in a sermon or book one day.” She was right, as you’re now reading this story yourself.
As I walked from the shore to the campsite, a thought hit me: “You know, Scott, you get to decide what story you tell about what happened on the water. You can tell your wife and friends about falling in front of people and getting soaking wet. You can also tell about the beauty of the scenery, the renewal in your soul, and the realizations you had on the water.”
I chose to tell the second version of the story to my wife, my friends, my church in a sermon, and you today in this devotional. Do you have a similar choice in front of you today?
I ask that question because we must be careful about the story we tell when we fall. Our decisions and experiences eventually become stories that we tell or others tell about us. The stories we tell make sense of what we’ve done and shape what we decide to do in the future.
Consider Peter’s decision to walk on the water and his experience sinking into the waves. After Jesus catches him and pulls him out of the water, the Messiah says, “You of little faith…why did you doubt?” Because of how many interpret this verse, Peter has been held up as a failure for taking his eyes off Jesus and sinking in the storm.
But there are better ways to interpret that passage. Yes, Peter had little faith, but he had faith! Peter’s faith was big enough to get him out of the boat and onto the water – something no one else in Scripture does, apart from Jesus. Jesus challenged Peter to consider what he could have done with more faith. However, acknowledging where Peter had room to grow is not the same as condemning him for getting out of the boat or shaming him in front of the disciples.
There’s a difference between Jesus challenging Peter and Jesus shaming or condemning Peter. Jesus consistently encouraged His disciples by reminding them what faith the size of a mustard seed (the smallest of all the seeds) could do in the Kingdom of God. As Peter sat back in the boat, he had an opportunity to decide what story he would tell himself and others about what happened on the water that night. Would Peter focus on walking on the water part or sinking in the water part? Would Peter mention that he was the one who sank or the only one who got out of the boat?
Just as Peter could have told himself any number of stories in Matthew 14 and as I could have told myself many stories after I fell in the water, you have a similar choice. What are you going to do with your stumbles and falls? How will you handle your weaknesses and disappointments? Will you focus on your fear of other people’s opinions, or will you focus on what God says about you?
In the middle of your battle, God is present with you, at work all around you, and speaking to you if you’ll be patient and still enough to listen. You may have questions and doubts, but don’t forget what God can do with even a little faith!
Tomorrow, we will wrap up this plan by setting expectations for the next phase of your battle. Expectations are everything when it comes to following Jesus.
Day 5
Scriptures: Romans 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, John 16:33
It’s been eight years since my first panic attack. After that first night of overwhelming anxiety, I spent each of the next three weeks living the same night over and over again, wondering why I couldn’t sleep, slow my thoughts, or reign in my anxiety.
I wish I had known the name for my overwhelming experiences when I had my first one, but now I know. I wish I had found the tools I discovered from my Christian therapist and other friends. I also wish I’d known that my experience with anxiety and panic would not be a quick fix.
Expectations are everything! Nearly every struggling couple I’ve ever counseled has faced unstated, unrealistic, and unmet expectations. Anne Lamott was correct when she famously wrote, “Expectations are resentments under construction.”
Therefore, I want to be transparent as you set expectations for future battles between your ears. You need to know that winning this battle will be less of a one-time event and more of an ongoing process. In Romans 12, the Apostle Paul describes the transformation process in Jesus’ followers as “the renewing of our mind.”
Renewing our minds is less of an event and more of a lifelong work. We cannot say, “Boom! I renewed it—that’s finished!” No, we are consistently and constantly renewing our minds, battling our enemy, Satan, and seeking to take each new thought captive so it can be obedient to Christ. While I wish this battle were momentary, it’s an ongoing war that we will continue to fight on this side of heaven.
While my three-week period of panic attacks eventually ended, that season began a recurring experience of anxiety, which included more occasional panic attacks. Like Paul described a thorn in his flesh in 2 Corinthians 12, my battle with anxiety has felt like the place where God keeps inviting me to trust His sufficient grace and discover the power of His perfect strength in my weakness.
If you’ve experienced anxiety as an ongoing battle like I have, I want to encourage you to consider reshaping your expectations. Instead of looking forward to a moment when this will no longer be a struggle and you can get over this, what if you began expecting this to continue while hoping to find Jesus and His strength available daily?
Paul began Romans 12 with this expectation. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.” With these words, Paul invited the Roman believers to shift from a partial contribution to complete surrender. Instead of merely contributing to the cause of Jesus Christ in the world, Paul urges his audience to conform to Christ’s image. He’s inviting them (and us today) to surrender our lives each day by renewing our minds.
On day two of this plan, I shared a quote from Jennie Allen, who wrote, “The greatest spiritual battle of our generation is being fought between our ears.” I hope you’ve seen the wisdom of her words in this reading plan and your own life.
But, I don’t want to describe the problem to you merely. I also want to point out to you the hope that’s available today. Though our greatest battle is being fought between our ears, it can be won, and Jesus has already won it!
Before He was arrested and crucified, Jesus told His disciples what to expect in the future. “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
There is a battle ahead of us, and we will have trouble. But God has made peace available to us, and He has overcome the world. Therefore, because of what He has done, we can be confident of victory – in limited ways in this life and ultimately in eternity.