It’s often easy for us to see when other people are making mistakes or doing wrong things but hard for us to see it in ourselves. This four-part reading plan will help you reflect on your daily life and attitudes.
Time of Grace Ministry
Day 1
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4
Who, me? Proud?
The 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians is justly famous. It is a brilliant and poetic exposition of the meaning of true love, biblical love, Christ-like love. You have undoubtedly heard it read and applied at a Christian wedding ceremony.
The great risk to a quick reading of this legendary passage, however, is that it states philosophic abstractions that you can cheerfully agree with but that have no impact on your life whatsoever. For example, “Love is . . . not proud” (1 Corinthians 13:4). You would concur—“It sure isn’t.” But here’s the point of St. Paul’s powerful essay—is it true of you? That you are not proud? Do the people around you see evidence of vanity and arrogance in your life?
Pride is a deadly sin. It seduces us into thinking that we are better than others, that we are worthy of God’s favor, that we deserve a ticket to heaven. Pride feeds our egos, stoking an interest only in what revolves around us. It is impossible for people with pride-sickness to assume the attitude and posture of a servant, the posture that Christ adopted and that he invites us to share.
Repeat after me: “I am a foolish sinner who would be sunk without my Savior’s mercy. Forgive me, Jesus, for my proud words and actions. It is better to serve than be served. How can I make someone else feel important today?”
Day 2
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Who, me? Touchy?
I sure can see the problems caused by other people’s hair-trigger tempers. One of the members of our church council went off on me once for no good reason. It took a huge investment of energy, patience, love, and time to restore the relationship. What I’m not so sure about is whether the people around me think I’m touchy. Touchy? Moi?
“Love is . . . not easily angered,” says St. Paul. (1 Corinthians 13:4,5). It sure isn’t. The real question is whether or not you and I are easily angered. Why do we do that? Because anger is fun in a way, at least at first. The adrenaline rush makes us feel really alive. Because we feel indignant and righteous and have to teach other people a lesson not to mess with us. Because we all secretly long to be wild and free, letting out the beast within. It is hard work to show restraint when upset. Because emotional outbursts are a way of controlling a situation, knocking others off-balance and maybe even intimidating them into trying to soothe and placate you by giving you what you want.
Scripture teaches us that our anger does not bring about the righteous life that God requires. Rather than revealing what’s wrong with other people, our outbursts usually show the weaknesses in us—insecurity, self-absorption, and a bitter spirit. God’s patient love for us inspires us to seek to understand others rather than rush to judgment.
Assume the best in others’ hearts instead of leaping to conclude the worst.
Day 3
Scriptures: Psalms 103:12, 1 Corinthians 13:5
Who, me? Grudges?
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). How I love the comfort of that Scripture passage. How I love knowing that my record of moral failings, my idolatries, lies, and omissions, disappear from God’s book of deeds like shaking up an Etch A Sketch. What a relief it is to believe, to know, that my meeting with God personally when I die won’t bring his disgust crashing down on my head.
So why then do I hang onto old hurts the way I do? Love “keeps no record of wrongs,” says St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13:5). It sure doesn’t. The real question is whether or not you and I keep a record of wrongs. I think I know why I persist in doing that. Remembering other’s faults is a cheap way for me to feel superior. If I refuse to forgive, I can imagine that I hold the moral high ground. A grudge is like an asset—if I forgive, I give up the issue as a weapon to use to my advantage. I might need that weapon in a future argument.
Jesus told a parable once about an unmerciful servant who had been forgiven an immense debt but who then turned on a fellow servant for a relative pittance. Today is the day for you to dump the anger bag, shake out all the IOU grudges you’ve been hoarding, and release your fellow sinners from your judgment.
Day 4
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:7
Who, me? Pessimistic?
A woman I know has the habit of giving people only one chance. If disappointed even once, she will drop the person from her life, including the modern-day form of excommunication: unfriending on Facebook. I wonder if people see that in me. Am I like that?
Being cynical and pessimistic has a certain logic, doesn’t it? If you wall off your heart after one disappointment, you think you can’t get hurt again. If you assume all people are jerks, you won’t be surprised when they act like jerks. And since most people’s words and actions can be interpreted in various ways, you can always ascribe negative motivation, that they’re just using you.
What a lonely way to live! It’s also a mindset that could destroy a family. Relationships can’t last without trust. Trust is earned, but trust also has to be given, and preferably given in advance. If every disappointment in a marriage destroyed all trust in one or both hearts, no marriage could last. St. Paul has wise words for us: Love “always trusts, always hopes” (1 Corinthians 13:7). It sure does. Now here’s the question: Will you believe that that statement applies to you and choose to trust the people in your family? Always to assume the best explanation for their behaviors? To be willing to let go of yesterday’s frustrations in the hope that tomorrow will be better?
When you trust and hope, you release trust and hope in others’ hearts.