Scripture: Genesis 2:24

The Commitment of Marriage

Genesis 2:24

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious commitment that requires preparation. By understanding your spiritual role in marriage and God’s design for a life-long commitment, you can ensure you’re putting your best foot forward now and in the future.

So, what does the Bible say about being a husband?

Lead with Love and Understanding

Ephesians 5:25-28 instructs husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This passage emphasizes a sacrificial, unconditional love that seeks the best for one’s spouse. Leading in marriage does not mean dominating but serving your wife with compassion, understanding, and respect. It involves being proactive in communication, empathetic toward your wife’s feelings and needs, and committed to growth within the relationship.

Provide Spiritual Leadership

1 Peter 3:7 calls husbands to be considerate and respectful to their wives, treating them with honor as co-heirs of the gift of life so that nothing will hinder their prayers. This highlights the importance of spiritual leadership within the home. Being a spiritual leader means guiding your family in faith, initiating prayer, and encouraging engagement with scripture and the church community. It’s about setting a godly example and fostering a spiritual environment that supports your family’s relationship with God.

Commit to Faithfulness and Integrity

Proverbs 20:6 poses the question, “But who can find a faithful man?” suggesting that faithfulness and integrity are rare and valuable. A godly husband is called to be faithful not only in avoiding infidelity but also in being dependable and trustworthy in all aspects of married life. This includes financial decisions, parenting, and daily interactions. Integrity in marriage translates to transparency, honesty, and loyalty, forming the foundation of trust and security in the relationship.

Preparing yourself to be a biblical husband means learning how to embody these characteristics. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there are things you can do now to prepare yourself for marriage. From practical tips to spiritual truths, we’re sharing four ways to prepare yourself to be the best godly husband you can be.

Scriptures: John 1:12-13, 1 Peter 2:9

Identity in Christ

John 1:12-13

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

The first way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly husband is to establish your identity in Christ. The world has many opinions on what makes a man “husband material.” But the most important thing a man can bring to the table is a strong identity rooted in Christ. A strong faith can serve as a guide throughout your journey of implementing Christian values into your daily life as you become one with your partner.

So, how do you root your identity in Christ?

Recognize Your Value in God’s Eyes

John 1:12-13 emphasizes the profound truth that those who accept and believe in Christ are given the right to become children of God. This identity as a child of God is foundational; it surpasses any worldly status or achievement. It roots your sense of self-worth and purpose in something unshakeable. Recognizing your value in God’s eyes means understanding that your worth is intrinsic and eternal, not conditional on worldly measures of success like your job or how much money you make.

Live Out Your Purpose

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Each individual has a unique purpose designed by God. Living out this purpose involves aligning your actions, decisions, and relationships with God’s will and guidance. By doing so, you bring honor to God and enrich your own life and those around you, including your future spouse. Fulfilling your God-given purpose cultivates a life of significance and service, which is essential for a godly husband.

Cultivate a Deep Relationship with Christ

A deep, personal relationship with Christ is crucial for grounding your identity in Him. Just as John 15:5 describes the importance of remaining in Jesus to bear much fruit, staying spiritually connected through prayer, worship, and scripture study keeps you rooted in your identity as a follower of Christ. This relationship empowers you to lead your future family with wisdom, love, and strength. It also equips you to face the challenges of marriage with grace, always relying on Christ’s example and teachings as your guide.

Rooting your identity in Christ sets a solid foundation for every aspect of life, including marriage. It shapes you into a man who leads with love, lives with purpose, and loves with a depth that reflects the heart of God.

Scriptures: Titus 2:2, Titus 2:6

Practical Skills

Titus 2:2 & 6

“Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance… Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.”

The second way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly husband is to get yourself ready for practical, everyday life. You don’t have to be “Mr. Fix It” to be a good, godly husband. However, it is a good idea to enter into a marriage with some practical skills under your belt. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a “wife of noble character,” but it also mentions a few characteristics of a noble husband. He is someone who works hard and takes care of his own business. He isn’t lazy or dismissive but provides for his family and works diligently to be the best man he can be for his wife, family, and community.

So, how do you grow in your practical skills?

Develop Self-Control and Discipline

Self-control is a critical practical skill in both personal development and in fostering a healthy marital relationship. Learning to manage your emotions, reactions, and desires is foundational for effective communication, conflict resolution, and decision-making within a marriage. This self-control extends to various aspects of life, such as financial management, work ethic, and personal habits, all contributing to a stable and loving home environment. Developing discipline in daily routines sets a strong example and foundation for your family.

Enhance Communication Skills

Effective communication is vital in understanding and meeting the needs of your spouse. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Learning to actively listen without immediately reacting allows for better understanding and empathy in all your relationships. It’s important also to cultivate the skill of expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. This will become beneficial in a marriage to ensure you’re both heard and understood.

Cultivate a Strong Work Ethic

A strong work ethic is not just about professional success but also about being diligent in taking care of household responsibilities and contributing to the mutual goals of the family. This includes being proactive in maintaining your home, managing finances wisely, and supporting your wife’s aspirations. A commitment to working hard out of love for your family honors God and creates a nurturing environment for both of you.

Growing in practical skills prepares you to be a godly husband who leads by example and provides for his family in more ways than one. It’s about laying a solid, practical foundation for a marriage that is equipped to thrive in the face of life’s challenges.

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:7

Put Others First

1 Peter 3:7

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

The third way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly husband is to practice putting others first. Most people are familiar with the scripture that tells wives to submit to their husbands. But it’s equally important to read the verse before that one in Ephesians 5:21, which says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Husbands are also called to submit and humbly serve their wives. Ephesians 5:23 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself…” A man is called to be a leader in a marriage, but the best leaders are husbands who love and put their wives first.

So, how do you become more selfless?

Serve with a Humble Heart

Philippians 2:3-4 instructs, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This principle is essential for a godly husband who aims to put his family first. And you can start embodying it now by serving people in your life with a humble heart. Demonstrating humility in service strengthens your relationship and mirrors the love Christ has for the church.

Love Sacrificially

Husbands are called to a sacrificial kind of love, placing their wife’s well-being and happiness above their own. Practicing sacrificial love can mean making compromises, dedicating time and effort to understand and meet your partner’s needs, and being willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of your spouse and family. Start practicing this type of love now by actively listening to and empathizing with others, especially in your close relationships. Show kindness without expecting anything in return, offer your time and resources to help those in need, and develop a habit of putting the interests of others before your preferences or convenience. This not only prepares you for marriage but also enriches your character and deepens your relationships.

Lead by Serving

Matthew 20:26-28 challenges conventional notions of leadership, stating, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant… just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” In marriage, leading by serving means prioritizing your wife’s and family’s needs and making decisions that benefit not just yourself but your entire household. Right now, this could look like volunteering for tasks without being asked, seeking opportunities to support and uplift those around you, and developing a mindset of service. This will help prepare you to be a compassionate and understanding partner in your future marriage.

These practices lay the groundwork for a loving, God-centered marriage where both partners feel valued, respected, and cherished. By putting others first, you become more Christ-like in the way you love and lead.

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Proverbs 17:22

Healthy Habits

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Proverbs 17:22

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

The fourth way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly husband is to take care of yourself. Happy, healthy marriages are possible when both people are healthy in mind, body, and spirit. We talk a lot about physical health. But spiritual and emotional health are just as essential, especially when preparing yourself for marriage.

In a marriage, you’ll need to be able to voice your feelings, regulate your emotions, and handle difficult situations with grace. By putting the same amount of intentionality into your emotional and spiritual well-being as you do your physical, you will set yourself up for a healthy, godly marriage.

So, how do you prioritize healthy habits physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Care for Your Physical Health

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and should be honored accordingly. Prioritizing physical health means engaging in regular exercise, eating nutritious foods, and getting adequate rest. These practices not only honor God but will also ensure you have the energy and vitality to actively participate in your marriage and family life. Taking care of your physical health sets a positive example for your family and enables you to serve them better.

Nurture Your Emotional Well-Being

There is a deep connection between emotional well-being and physical health. Cultivating emotional health involves developing healthy coping mechanisms for stress, practicing gratitude, and fostering positive relationships that enrich your life. Being able to express and manage your emotions effectively is super important in a marriage. It will help you form a deeper connection, more empathy, and enhanced understanding between you and your wife when the time comes.

Strengthen Your Spiritual Foundation

Your spiritual health is the bedrock of your identity and actions. Ephesians 6:18 encourages us to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” Regular prayer, meditation on Scripture, and participation in a faith community are vital practices that strengthen your spiritual foundation. They keep you connected to God, provide guidance for life’s challenges, and help you grow in love, patience, and other fruits of the Spirit essential for a strong, godly marriage.

Prioritizing healthy habits physically, emotionally, and spiritually prepares you not just for marriage but for a life lived fully and faithfully. By caring for yourself in these ways, you are better equipped to love and lead your future wife and family in health, happiness, and holiness. This preparation ensures you bring your best self into marriage, ready to build a life together grounded in love and respect for each other and God.