Scripture: Proverbs 18:22

The Beauty of Marriage

Proverbs 18:22

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

Marriage is a wonderful part of life and can be a beautiful journey if both spouses prepare for it. This means taking the time to understand God’s plan for marriage and how husbands and wives are meant to interact in their relationship. Knowing your spiritual role in marriage and understanding God’s commands provides you with wisdom that will guide you in creating a healthy relationship with your partner now and in the future.

So, what does the Bible say about being a wife?

Submission and Equality

The Bible talks about submission within marriage, but it’s important to understand this concept in its full biblical context. In Ephesians 5:22-24, wives are encouraged to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. However, this is part of a broader passage that emphasizes mutual submission out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). The biblical notion of submission does not imply inferiority but rather a harmonious partnership. It calls for a balance where both spouses respect and yield to each other’s strengths, working together as equal partners in God’s eyes.

Strength and Dignity

Proverbs 31 celebrates a wife of noble character, highlighting qualities of strength, dignity, wisdom, and kindness. Verses 25-26 say, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” This passage reveals that being a wife involves more than fulfilling traditional roles; it’s about embodying strength, making wise decisions, and contributing to the family and community. A wife’s value is immense, and her impact extends far beyond the confines of her home.

Love and Care

Titus 2:4-5 tells older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, active at home, kind, and subject to their husbands. This guidance highlights the importance of fostering love and care within the family. Loving one’s husband and children reflects God’s love and is foundational to building a nurturing, supportive home environment. Care encompasses not only physical needs but emotional and spiritual support, creating a secure and loving atmosphere.

Preparing yourself to be a biblical wife means learning how to embody these characteristics. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there are things you can do now to prepare yourself for marriage. From practical tips to spiritual truths, we’re sharing four ways to prepare yourself to be the best godly wife you can be.

Scriptures: John 1:12-13, 1 Peter 2:9

Identity in Christ

John 1:12-13

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

The first way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly wife is to find and root your identity in Christ. Rather than finding your worth in worldly things, such as material possessions, success, or physical appearance, you must find your worth in who Jesus says you are. You are a beloved child of God — you belong to Him first and foremost. You aren’t looking for someone else (like a husband) to complete you.

Because the truth is, whoever you marry will let you down, and you’ll also make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. But when your identity is rooted in Christ, you can navigate the ups and downs of a marriage relationship in a Christ-like manner, knowing your guidance and comfort come from Him.

So, how do you establish your identity in Christ?

Understand Your Value Through God’s Eyes

The scriptures are clear about your immense value to God. In Luke 12:7, Jesus says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” This verse, among many others, reveals that your worth is not dependent on earthly achievements or physical attributes but is inherent because of God’s love for you. Knowing you are valued and loved unconditionally by God provides a stable foundation for your self-worth and impacts how you engage in all relationships, including marriage.

Live Out Your Calling

Understanding your identity in Christ means recognizing you have been called to live out a unique purpose. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” By focusing on fulfilling your God-given purpose and using your talents for His glory, you find deeper significance and satisfaction. This pursuit of living out your calling not only strengthens your relationship with God but also enriches your life and makes you a more complete individual, whether single or married.

Cultivate a Relationship with Christ

Your identity in Christ grows from an intimate relationship with Him. Just as John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Staying connected to Christ through prayer, reading your Bible, and going to church ensures your identity is anchored in Him. This spiritual connection nourishes your soul, equips you to handle life’s challenges with grace, and empowers you to be a supportive, loving partner in marriage.

Grasping the depth of God’s love for you reshapes how you view yourself and impacts every decision you make, including entering into and nurturing a marriage. When your self-worth is rooted in Christ’s unwavering love, you’re empowered to approach marital challenges with grace and confidence, knowing you’re fully supported by the One who values you beyond measure.

Scripture: Proverbs 31:10-31

Practical Skills

Proverbs 31:10-31

The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The second way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly wife is to get yourself ready for practical, everyday life. Although we’re not living in the 50s when a wife’s primary role was to cook, clean, and look after the kids, it’s good to have some practical skills under your belt. This can be anything from how to make a few good meals to how to communicate and work through conflict effectively. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a “wife of noble character.” She is strong, selfless, skilled in business and homemaking, and, most importantly, diligently works to be the best wife, mother, and woman for her family and community.

So, how do you grow in your practical skills?

Develop a Heart for Service

A godly wife embodies a servant’s heart, aiming to serve her family and others around her with love and humility. Jesus Himself said in Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” This perspective of service is not about fulfilling outdated gender roles but about choosing to love and care for your family actively. Before you’re married, this could look like volunteering in your community, supporting your friends and family in times of need, or taking the time to listen and offer encouragement to those around you. It involves cultivating a lifestyle of generosity, kindness, and selflessness, where serving others becomes a natural extension of your character.

Cultivate Effective Communication

Communication is a fundamental skill in marriage, essential for resolving conflicts, building intimacy, and making decisions together. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love, growing in every way more like Christ. This means learning to express your thoughts, feelings and needs openly and respectfully while also listening to other people’s perspectives. Cultivating effective communication involves patience, active listening, and the willingness to understand before being understood. It’s about creating a safe space where everyone feels valued and heard.

Strengthen Financial Stewardship

Managing finances wisely is a practical skill that significantly benefits married life. Proverbs 31:16-18 shows the wife of noble character considering a field and buying it; with her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. This passage highlights the importance of financial stewardship — planning, budgeting, saving, and investing wisely. Money issues can be one of the biggest sources of stress in a marriage. So, learning how to handle your money wisely now can help you set shared goals, make informed decisions, and sometimes make sacrifices for your family’s financial health once you’re married.

Growing in these practical skills prepares you not just for the role of a wife but for a partnership in a marriage that reflects God’s love and wisdom. It’s about building a foundation that supports a healthy, joyful, and God-honoring relationship.

Scripture: Philippians 2:3-4

Selflessness

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The third way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly wife is to practice selflessness. Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to do nothing from a place of selfishness. Instead, we are to value others and look out for their best interests. Putting this scripture into practice is a great way to prepare yourself for marriage from a biblical perspective. A marriage requires humbly serving your spouse and putting their needs above your own. And it works because both spouses should come into the marriage with this mindset. That way, both people get what they need in the relationship.

So, how do you become more selfless?

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a profound way to demonstrate selflessness. James 1:19 advises, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” By prioritizing listening over speaking, you show that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings. By improving your ability to listen actively now, you will be better equipped to understand your spouse’s needs and make them feel loved and respected.

Serve Without Expecting Anything in Return

True selflessness in marriage is characterized by serving your spouse without expecting anything in return. Following Christ’s example of service, look for ways to serve people in your life to get really good at it. In the same way, you’ll reflect unconditional love and generosity when you serve your husband in marriage.

Cultivate Empathy and Understanding

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, and it’s crucial for a selfless marriage. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that we have a high priest who can empathize with our weaknesses. In the same way, strive to cultivate empathy with others and, eventually, with your spouse. Put yourself in other people’s shoes and view situations from their perspective. It will dramatically improve how you respond to their needs. Empathy lays a solid foundation for a loving, selfless marriage.

Becoming more selfless is about putting love into action through listening, serving, and empathizing, following the example set by Christ. By incorporating these biblical principles into your daily life, you prepare yourself to enter a marriage that reflects God’s love.

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Proverbs 17:22

Self Care

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Proverbs 17:22

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

The fourth way to prepare yourself for marriage and to be a godly wife is to take care of yourself. Happy, healthy marriages are possible when both people are healthy in mind, body, and spirit. So, take time now to prepare yourself for marriage by focusing on your wellness. Start practicing healthy habits like reading your bible and moving your body daily.

A strong sense of mental and emotional well-being allows you the stability and resilience to handle times of hardship in your relationship with grace. Keeping your body healthy and at its best means having more energy to realign and restore when necessary. Finding a balance with your spiritual life gives you perspective and purpose in difficult and exciting moments. All of these things are important for a healthy, godly marriage.

So, how do you prioritize healthy habits physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Nourish Your Body as a Temple of God

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 emphasizes the importance of honoring God with our bodies, recognizing them as temples of the Holy Spirit. While in context, this passage is talking about sexual purity, we can also apply it to mean making choices that nourish the body. By taking care of your physical health, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to be an active, energetic participant in your marriage. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate rest are key components of a lifestyle that respects the body God has given you.

Cultivate a Cheerful Heart for Emotional Well-Being

Proverbs 17:22 highlights the healing power of a cheerful heart on our physical and emotional health. Cultivating joy and a positive outlook on life contributes significantly to your emotional well-being. This can involve activities that bring you happiness, practicing gratitude, and maintaining a supportive network of friends and family. Managing stress through relaxation techniques and hobbies can also improve your emotional resilience. A cheerful heart not only benefits you but will bring joy and vitality into your marriage when the time comes.

Strengthen Your Spiritual Foundation

Your spiritual health is the bedrock of your overall well-being. Regularly engaging with God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers helps to deepen your faith and provide you with guidance, comfort, and strength. Ephesians 6:18 encourages us to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. This spiritual discipline keeps your relationship with God vibrant and impacts your interactions within your marriage. Nurturing your spiritual life ensures you have a reservoir of strength and wisdom to draw from in both joyful and challenging times.

Prioritizing your physical, emotional, and spiritual health is essential for entering into and sustaining a healthy, godly marriage. By adopting habits that enhance your well-being in these areas, you prepare yourself to be a partner who contributes positively to a marriage that glorifies God and enriches both you and your husband.