Anger Management

Scriptures: Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 15:18

DAY 1 

Introduction 

People often express regret when they lose control and allow themselves to be overtaken by anger. Their surrender to this hard-to-manage emotion leads them to behave uncharacteristically and leaves them picking up the pieces of ruined reputations, dealing with the residue of broken relationships, or struggling to forgive themselves for succumbing to a moment of anger. Whether you flare up at the drop of a hat or you reserve your anger for “big things,” the result can be devastating. No matter the degree of anger with which you struggle, God’s Word offers guidance on the most productive ways to deal with anger. 

Pray 

God, I need your help to stay level-headed and not lose control. Help me lean on you. 

Read 

The writer of Proverbs offers sound advice about avoiding the negative effects of misdirected anger. 

Proverbs 15:1, 4, 18 

Reflect 

During an argument is probably the most difficult time to carefully choose what we say. But it is one of the most crucial times to watch our words. “A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up” (verse 1 GNT). The writer of Proverbs encourages us to use kind words, not only because they diffuse arguments but also because they help avoid them altogether. 

Respond 

Recall your most recent argument with someone. Can you identify words you used that served to build tensions with the other party? What kind words could you have used instead? Memorize Proverbs 15:1 and ask God to help you apply it. 

Scripture: Psalms 37:5-8

DAY 2

Introduction

Anger can be a by-product of other lingering emotions such as anxiety, envy and deep disappointment. It can make us angry to see wrongdoers succeed while we struggle to make ends meet as we try to do the right thing. Perhaps your anger is borne out of continual disappointment at being overlooked for a job you feel you deserve. Whatever feeds your anger is potent enough to eventually peak and manifest as full-blown rage. The psalmist David offers a strong warning against harboring such emotions. 

Pray

Father, I have let many negative emotions get the best of me. Help me lay them all aside and look to you. 

Read

David urges his audience not to worry or become angry but trust God with their future.

Psalm 37:5-8

Reflect

David’s audience had every reason to be angry. They faced opposition from wrongdoers who seemed to flourish despite their wrongs. But David encourages them to wait patiently and confidently for God, trusting him to act in their favor. Do you believe that God will help you as you learn to trust in him?

Respond

Can you identify other feelings that accompany, and may have led you to become angry? What are they? Ask God to help you surrender these emotions to him and trust him fully.

Scripture: James 1:19-21

DAY 3

Introduction

I have yet to meet someone who felt fulfilled after an angry tirade. The feedback is generally the same—regret, embarrassment, more anger. William Penn once wisely said: “Watch against anger; neither speak of it nor act in it; for, like drunkenness, it makes a man a beast, and throws people into desperate inconvenience.” How do we keep watch? James offers an answer.

Pray

Lord, I do not like being angry. Help me be willing to do what it takes to overcome.

Read

James encourages us to put the brakes on anger. 

James 1:19-21

Reflect

James emphasizes the importance of submitting to God and accepting his Word, which instructs us to lay aside ungodly attitudes that do not reflect God’s righteousness, such as anger. One way to accomplish this is by being more apt to listen than speak. Is this challenging for you? Why or why not?

Respond

Reflect on a recent occasion during which you became angry. Were you mindful to do more listening than speaking? Write a note to yourself committing to heed James’s advice, then pray about your commitment.

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:26, Ephesians 4:31-32

DAY 4

Introduction

We might be able to justify becoming angry when certain offenses are directed our way. But we should keep in mind that, even in those cases where no one would blame us for getting angry, expressing anger in a manner that does not reflect God’s character puts us in the wrong. The Scriptures provide insight into how to approach this challenging balancing act.   

Pray

God, when I think I have just cause to be angry, please help me discern the right response and do it.

Read

The apostle Paul warns against wrongdoing resulting from unpleasant attitudes such as anger.

Ephesians 4:26, 31-32

Reflect

What are your thoughts about the dos and don’ts in today’s reading? A few are listed  below (paraphrased). Do these seem reasonable to you? What can you do differently to focus on the affirmative statements? 

Don’t get so angry that you sin

Say the right thing at the right time

Don’t go to bed angry

Be kind and merciful

Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude

Forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.

Respond

Invite someone you trust to hold you accountable to practice the ‘dos’ from the chart provided. Share with them the area(s) with which you struggle the most and ask them to partner with you in prayer about it/them.  

Scripture: Proverbs 25:28

DAY 5

Introduction

Most of us like to think of ourselves as having enough self-control to not respond in ways that cause us to lose our integrity, even under pressure. But giving in to anger is one way to quickly derail our stability or our ability to trust our own judgment. Anger makes us vulnerable. It exposes us, making it challenging to control what we say and do. God’s Word plainly tells us this, comparing an angry person to a city that has no defenses. 

Pray

God, teach me how to guard my thoughts, words, and actions so I will not fall prey to anger.

Read

The wise writer of Proverbs paints a unique picture of an angry person

Proverbs 25:28

Reflect

Up until about the mid-19th century, walls were built around cities as their first means of defense. We think of the Berlin wall or of the biblical account of the famous wall of Jericho that is thought to have been about 20 feet thick! With these images in mind, do you think the wise writer of Proverbs makes an effective comparison? Why or why not?

Respond

Write your own “proverb” to remind you how important it is to restrain your temper, then post it where you’ll see it often. You may emphasize vulnerability or reflect on the benefit of maintaining control. Here are examples: (1) People who do not control their temper are like a sports car being driven by a careless driver; (2) Like a tree with roots firmly planted, so are those who control their temper.  

Scripture: Romans 12:17-21

DAY 6

Introduction

No one enjoys being wronged, and taking revenge may seem like the only way to get justice. Revenge may seem satisfying, especially if that final blow totally outdoes your opponent. But is revenge real victory? Does it restore to you whatever is lost? While it’s often said that revenge is sweet, God’s Word offers a different perspective. 

Pray

God, I have been wronged and I’m angry. Help me see my situation through your eyes. Help me choose your way.

Read

The apostle Paul tells us that revenge is best left to God.

Romans 12:17-21

Reflect

Paul says that doing good to our enemies is like putting burning coals on their heads. The good we do sears the conscience, causing our enemies to eventually feel remorse and maybe even repent. Admittedly, doing good when we’ve been wronged is difficult to do. It requires letting go of anger and choosing to forgive. What is your greatest obstacle in deciding to let go and let God have the last word in your situation? 

Respond

Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” includes these lines:

“It’s the hardest thing to give away

And the last thing on your mind today

It always goes to those who don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel

When the pain they caused is just too real

Takes everything you have to say the word

“Forgiveness, forgiveness”

It flies in the face of all your pride

It moves away the mad inside

It’s always anger’s own worst enemy

Even when the jury and the judge

Say you’ve got a right to hold a grudge

It’s the whisper in your ear saying set it free

“Forgiveness, forgiveness”

Forgiveness lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., 2012

Write a response to these lyrics and then pray about it.

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

DAY 7

Introduction

As we come to the final installment of this reading plan, let’s recap.

· We’ve looked closely at the negative effects of becoming angry versus the benefits of maintaining self-control. 

· We’ve learned that, like David, we can trust God to help us relinquish our anger. 

· James reminds us to lay aside ungodly attitudes such as anger and submit to God and accept his Word. 

· The apostle Paul warns us against unpleasant attitudes such as anger that can lead us to sin.

· The wise writer of Proverbs helps us see how anger makes us vulnerable.

· We recognize that revenge, often fueled by anger and unforgiveness, is best left to God.

Today we look at love as a force that can drive away anger. 

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said: “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” But what does love have to do with any of this? God’s Word defines love in ways that look quite different than our culture often dictates. The kind of love described turns anger on its head.

Pray

God, show me how to love others so that it quenches and surpasses the anger within me. 

Read

The apostle Paul presents love as an ingredient to keep anger at bay.  

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Reflect

Kind, patient, unselfish, humble, unenvious are a few words used to describe love. It’s hard to imagine anger getting its way if we keep these attributes in focus. If we’re honest, we can acknowledge that anger raises its head when we become impatient, act selfishly, become overly focused on preserving our pride and when kindness in word or deed is no longer our priority. Take another look at the words used to describe love? How can you demonstrate these attributes when conflicts arise?

Respond

Pray through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 putting yourself into the verse. For example: 

Lord, teach me to love others in a way that makes me patient and kind. Help me not to be envious, prideful and self-serving. I am sometimes resentful and easily angered. Help me to commit this to you so I will be able to rejoice in your truth. Amen.