Battle Cry

Scriptures: Romans 12:2, Romans 12:15, Philippians 4:8, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I know numerous men who still to this day believe their sons should never see them cry or be afraid of anything. This dangerous ideology has produced not only generations of men imprisoned by their emotions but also early graves. With most men unable to express their emotions in healthy ways, the result we’re seeing now is depression, divorce, high-risk behaviors, broken families, and violence. Futures erased. Wounded hearts. Despair. 

There is freedom when you allow yourself to feel fear or any emotion that’s not considered traditionally masculine. The problem is, we become imprisoned when we succumb to thoughts that keep us from resolutely walking in our purpose. As a man thinks about himself, so he will be (Prov. 23:7), and it isn’t until we actively engage our emotions that we will be able to release negative thoughts before they become toxic actions. . . .

Unfortunately, many people mistakenly believe that men were created to be aggressive and violent, but the truth is that most of us were programmed to process and release our emotional pain in destructive ways. Imagine how many good men would still be living today if they had taken a moment to feel and acknowledge their emotions, instead of dismissing them until they lost control.

Prayer:

Father, please renew my mind… free me from my toxic thoughts. Gracefully teach me how to feel and process all my negative emotions in a healthy way. Please increase my faith so I can experience the life You have predestined for me to live. In the name of Yahushua (Jesus) I pray, amen. 

Scriptures: Psalms 46:10, Psalms 127:2, Psalms 4:8, Isaiah 26:3, Philippians 4:6-7

If you want to experience peace, start and end each day with a moment to reflect on the turbulent things that have shaken your soul. Then, through prayer and meditation, allow your soul to release the cares of this world to the Most High so you can reset. Once your soul is stilled, you can experience rest—a byproduct of the Most High’s peace (Ps. 127:2).

To deepen this practice, I created a type of biblical meditation, which I call Shalach (pronounced shä-lakh’). Shalach is a Hebrew word that means to send, let go, or cast away.* It’s active. In that sense, it is not a form of concentration, nor a New Age emptying of your mind. In Shalach meditation, the end goal is to eventually maintain a meditative state while moving, regardless of the stress or situation. My reasoning is that, if I have to sit still to meditate, how useful will it be during my day when I can’t always be sitting still but when I also need meditation’s benefits the most?

To wage and win the war within, we must be able to “shalach” the stress of this world, whether we’re lying down, sitting up, standing, walking, or even fighting. 

* Blue Letter Bible Lexicon, s.v. “shalach,” Strong’s H7971

Prayer:

Father, I come to you now for peace and rest. Gracefully teach me how to be still and know that you are God. I release all my turbulent thoughts and stressful feelings to You, and I ask You to fill me with Your Spirit. In the name of Yahushua (Jesus) I pray, amen.

Scriptures: Proverbs 11:14, 1 Peter 3:10, 2 Corinthians 10:5, 2 Corinthians 12:9

Being transparent—speaking openly and honestly about our emotions—is counterintuitive for most men. As children, we would openly express any emotion—until we learned it wasn’t safe to be transparent or authentic. This happens in every boy’s life, regardless of the home or neighborhood you grew up in. You may have had the most wonderful parents in the world, or you may have grown up in a single-parent home or had an abusive parent. Regardless of your home life, neighborhood, or school, you learned to survive by keeping your feelings to yourself. This happened to all of us.

You see, children are keen observers but poor interpreters. Whether you remember it or not, as a boy you would see or hear certain things, then you would attempt to understand what they meant. Like what it meant when a coach berated his player. Or when a father hugged his son after he struck out at bat. Interpretation is a normal part of the human survival instinct. The human brain is designed to keep you alive, and it does so in part by interpreting events and then making up “rules” to follow. Rules such as, “Don’t touch a hot stove,” “Don’t cry in front of anyone,” or “Girls aren’t to be trusted.” These rules are meant to shield you from physical harm, emotional pain, and social rejection. In instances of potential physical harm, or the threat of lethal violence, that’s a good thing, but it’s not so useful in relationships. 

Interestingly, the exclusively male conviction of “man up” in the form of a command has been proven useless in motivating men. This phrase subtly implies that a man is already at a deficit, and the last thing a discouraged man needs is another challenge. Please don’t get me wrong; I think it’s good that we encourage one another to rise up when we are emotionally low. But since so many of us have been conditioned to suppress our struggles, this attempt to man up and push through what we’re going through only causes more mental anguish. So, instead of manning up, we need to open up.

Prayer:

Father, I’ve relied too much on my own power to get through this world—I am so tired of faking it. I am hurting and need to be heard so that I can start the healing process. Gracefully teach me how to guard my heart without hiding it. Please forgive me for not trusting You, and the people you’ve placed in my life to help me along this journey. Please guide me through my fears of expressing weakness, so that I can one day be truly strong. In the name of Yahushua (Jesus) I pray, amen.

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:29, Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 18:21, 2 Corinthians 7:10, James 1:19-21, Colossians 4:6

Combat communication is the “language” that comes from the exchange of information during a fight between two combatants. The fighter who pays attention and mentally downloads the other’s strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies will be equipped with the data needed to respond to his opponent’s attack and put himself in the best position for victory.

For instance, if your opponent tends to flinch every time you fake a punch or kick, this data informs you that he is likely anxious, respects your power, and/or lacks confidence in his own defense. This information allows you to then upload techniques and strategies that could set your opponent up for a knockout or submission. In the same way, when we rule the emotions of our souls and are thus able to maintain self-control, we will see each situation in front of us clearly, untainted by our fears or desired outcomes. Then we can mentally download the data from the other person’s actions to help us more fully understand them and the conflict at hand instead of only “listening to respond” and always being on the defense. . . .

Our egos can destroy our marriages, our health, our finances, our careers, and other significant relationships. Just because God is good all the time doesn’t mean life is good all the time. Problems and conflict will happen, and with them, emotions will arise. Sometimes it’s good to feel sorrowful, especially when we are wrong.

Here’s an easy way to remember combat communication: listen, look, and learn before you leap. 

• Listen—to what someone is saying. Not only their words, but their heart.
• Look—at the whole picture: body language, facial expression, and other cues.
• Learn—to discern the possible scenarios and outcomes.
• Leap—to take the wisest action that comes to mind for the best outcome.

Prayer: 

Father, gracefully teach me how to rule my emotions in conflict, so that I can communicate wisely and righteously. Please by Your Holy Spirit, lead my words in every conversation. Your word teaches us that life and death are in the power of the tongue… may all my words edify others and bring glorify You. In the name of Yahushua (Jesus) I pray, amen.

Scriptures: Matthew 11:28-30, Exodus 33:14, Proverbs 3:24,
Psalms 28:7

The Most High wants us to have an abundant life, but we can’t have one if we live our lives trying to make everyone else happy. We must take the superman cape off because as long as we walk around like a superhero, people will keep asking us to do superhero things. I finally took my cape off, and I have to remind myself daily that I am not superman—I am human. . . .

It’s hard to take the cape off when it becomes your identity. No one will ever stop you from helping them. It’s up to you to renounce the superhero lifestyle. Never fret that you will lose your position when you have to temporarily step off the ladder of success to rest from a long work week or heal from emotional pain and/or trauma. Taking time to reflect will not hinder your progress. It will only empower you for a refreshed reentry. But you must take the time.

Keep in mind that the Most High cannot fill your cup if you keep moving it! Yahushua (Jesus) said His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matt. 11:30). If your yoke isn’t easy and your burden isn’t light, it may not be from Him. Take off the cape my brother and be free — live from who you are, not what you do!

Prayer:

Father, thank You for giving me a heart to help people but gracefully teach me how to save myself. Please show which burdens are from You, so that I will not grow weary in well-doing, and please help me remember that You are my source of strength and peace. In the name of Yahushua (Jesus) I pray, amen.