Being With Jesus: Solitude and Silence Part 2

Scriptures: Luke 5:12-16, Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35

Loneliness Epidemic: Is Solitude Still Relevant Today?

Loneliness is the epidemic of our day.

Many today lack regular quality connections with other people. Others feel empty and alone even in a crowded room, desperate to be known on a soul level by just one other person.

So, what has caused the recent spike in loneliness? Truth be told, it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. But some contributing factors are a dramatic shift in our pace of life, how often we change jobs, and technology that has profoundly changed how we interact with others.

Many brilliant thinkers of our day are spending countless hours trying to come up with a solution to the loneliness epidemic, offering up many wonderful ideas designed to facilitate multi-generational community. Creating policies and programs that foster an increase in face-to-face connection is a welcome change in the fight against loneliness.

But will an increase in community alone bring healing to so many who are suffering? With so many already painfully alone (many who know and love Jesus but still feel the sting of loneliness), is the practice of solitude still relevant today?

As apprentices of Jesus, what do we do with His example of regularly practicing community and solitude? Again and again, throughout the Gospels, Jesus would engage in community, teaching the people about the Kingdom of Heaven and healing the sick, only to regularly “withdraw to deserted places to pray” to His Father. (See Luke 5:12-16)

Additionally, apprentices of Jesus down through the ages have testified in both word and deed about the importance of both community and solitude. Near the end of his life, Henri Nouwen wrote, “All human beings are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we will let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we will allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a man who gave up his life for the Gospel, offers the following warning to those who might question the relevance of Jesus’ rhythm of community and solitude. “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community… Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.”

For those engaged in community but who find themselves terrified of the idea of regularly going into solitude, Jesus is calling you into the quiet place. He invites you to come away with Him, to get lost in His presence.

And for those who know the joy of meeting Jesus in the quiet place but have given up hope on finding a community of His followers to do life with, Jesus is calling you back to His Church – the beautiful mess that it is – so that you might experience the uniqueness of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

As counterintuitive as it may sound, today, more than ever, both community and solitude are vital in our pursuit of becoming more like Jesus.

Scriptures: Psalms 62:5, Genesis 3:8, Psalms 37:7

Is it Possible to Practice Solitude Apart from Silence?

Yesterday we looked at the dangers of avoiding solitude in an age where many struggle with loneliness. 

Today we will consider the consequences of allowing a constant flow of noise to rob us of the opportunity for our souls to wait in silence for God. 

Community and solitude are vital in our pursuit of Christlikeness. However, many followers of Jesus who are willing to wade into the pool of solitude become increasingly uncomfortable when solitude is accompanied by true silence. However, down through the ages, followers of Jesus have described the practices of solitude and silence as inseparable. Often referring to them in the same breath as one discipline. 

Today, however, our practice of solitude is more likely to go hand in hand with a constant flow of noise. Often, from the moment we wake up till the moment we lay our head down to go to bed, our days are filled with noise. For most of us, this resembles a combination of listening to music, catching up on our favorite podcasts, or binge-watching that new must-watch show on Netflix. Sadly, we are a generation of people who have been formed by and often find ourselves addicted to noise. Rarely do we ever allow true silence into our day. 

But what is it about noise that we find so comforting? Why do we find complete silence so jarring to our souls? And for those who desire to become more like Jesus, what are the long-term effects of avoiding silence? 

Without pockets of silence woven into the fabric of our day, there will always be a constant flow of tension – an uneasy feeling in our soul. Tension that reminds us that all is not right between us and God. Like Adam and Eve, who hid from God in the garden, when we hurry through life – filling every moment with noise – refusing to be still before the Lord, we miss out on the work God wants to do in and through us. 

Psalms 62:5 reminds us of our need for silence: ” For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him.” Silence is more powerful than noise. Solitude and silence are like a beautiful, wide-open field as far as the eye can see. 

“Solitude and silence are so transforming because they are essential ingredients and helpful preparation for all the other disciplines of the Spirit. Solitude is essential for Bible study, prayer, private worship, and journaling, and is common when fasting. Silence prepares us to hear God’s voice and receive revelation and guidance.” (Dr. Siang-Yang Tan & Dr. Douglas H. Gregg) 

And so this is where we will turn over the next few days. Together we will consider why solitude and silence are vital to practicing the Way of Jesus. 

But for today, where can you take one small step towards quieting the exterior noise in your daily routine? Start right where you are, not where you think you should be. Perhaps you could carve out 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or even one hour of silence (and solitude) in the presence of your loving Father, who wants to draw you deeper into His love.

Scriptures: Psalms 91:1-2, Psalms 62:8, Psalms 3:3-4

Solitude and Silence: A Place of Refuge for Your Wounded Soul

I can still remember my first few days of intentionally carving out space and time for the practice of solitude and silence. Looking back, entering into this foreign place was less about my desire for more of God and more like a desperate cry for help after crashing into a brick wall at 100 miles per hour. There were broken pieces of my soul everywhere that needed to be brought out of the darkness and into the light. In that season, what my soul needed most was the healing touch that can only come from being alone in the presence of God. 

Solitude and silence provide a place of refuge for our wounded souls. Consider the imagery of a fortress used by the Psalmist. It is here that the truth that God is our refuge and our shield of protection covering us on all sides begins to take on all new meaning. 

Together, we can take comfort in Psalms 91:1-2 – “You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.’” 

Solitude and silence slow us down long enough to enjoy the rest God has prepared for us. Together, they provide an environment where the day of the week doesn’t matter, functioning as a daily place of refuge. In this place, nothing has to be accomplished. Nothing has to be fixed. A place where nothing is something. And that something is what brings healing to our souls. 

Like a warm shower after a bitterly cold winter run refreshes the body, solitude and silence bring refreshment to the soul after an exhausting day filled with twists and turns from the busyness of life. 

Here’s a question. What is the condition of your soul? 

Are you dangerously tired and in need of real rest? Are you burned out from chasing after all the world has to offer? Are you confused about your true identity and purpose in this world? 

If so, Jesus is inviting you to come away with Him into the quiet place. It’s a safe place (I promise!) where you can let all of your anxiety, fear, anger, and pride come to the surface. You can stop hiding what is really going on in your soul. And you can stop stuffing your thoughts and feelings in the hope that they will magically disappear. In the quiet alone with Jesus, it is here that you will find healing for your wounded soul.

Scriptures: Matthew 10:30, Proverbs 16:9, Psalms 37:23

Solitude and Silence: Discerning God’s Will

God cares intimately about the details of your life.

Let that thought move from your mind down into your heart and out through your body. Let me say it again, the God of the universe who created heaven and earth and at the same time “knows the number of hairs on your head” wants to have an interactive, moment-by-moment relationship with you.

As His followers, we long to hear His voice above the noise of daily life. We are desperate for His guidance in all areas of our lives. And we yearn to know His will so that we might see the advancement of His kingdom here on earth.

The problem for most people isn’t that they don’t genuinely desire to hear from God; it’s that they don’t know how to posture their lives in a way that allows them to discern His still, small voice. Sadly, it isn’t that God isn’t speaking into our lives; it’s that we aren’t listening. More specifically, we aren’t in a posture conducive to hearing from God.

Hearing from God requires being attentive to the presence of God. In order to be attentive to His presence, our role is to posture ourselves so God can quiet the inner noise in our minds and hearts. Quieting the inner noise in our minds and hearts begins with quieting the exterior noise in our physical environment. Without the regular practice of solitude and silence, it is virtually impossible to hear from God.

Alone in His presence, safely under the shelter of silence, Jesus no longer has to shout to get our attention. In this place, His voice doesn’t have to compete with the exterior noise so prevalent in daily life. It is here that the guidance you and I seek becomes a natural overflow of an intimate relationship with Jesus.

Proverbs 16:9 says, “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs [our] steps.” Practicing solitude and silence creates the necessary environment for us to hear clearly from God, making it possible for Him to lead us along the path of life one step at a time. When we surrender each subsequent step, inviting God into the planning process, we can confidently move forward, trusting that we are in sync with His will. (See Psalms 37:23)

Today, lean into the practice of solitude and silence as an act of surrender to Jesus. As you do, intimacy will grow, and the guidance you seek will be given to you as a gift from a loving God who cares deeply about the details of your life.

Scriptures: Matthew 22:34-40, Galatians 5:13-14, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:11

Learning to Love Your Neighbor in the Quiet Place

Imagine this scene from the Gospel of Matthew. It’s the last week of Jesus’ life on earth, and we find him having a conversation with a lawyer who poses the question, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” Matthew records Jesus’ response this way: 

“He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’” (See Matthew 22:37-40 NRSV) 

“Love God, and love our neighbor.” So, if that is the primary goal of being Jesus’ apprentice both then and now, what practices from His life can help us as we seek to make progress towards obeying what He said? 

When it comes to “loving our neighbor,” practices like serving the poor, showing hospitality to our neighbors, and coming together for corporate worship are often at the top of most people’s lists. On the contrary, practices like solitude, silence, and stillness are common in our pursuit of “loving God.” 

However, when we view solitude and silence as an individualistic discipline focused solely on “loving God,” having no real impact on how we interact with others in community life, we misunderstand the discipline altogether. 

For you and me, the regular practice of solitude and silence creates the necessary space for God to do the work in us that only He can do. Work that is necessary for us to grow in love and affection for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Without this space for God to soften our hearts, we often get stuck in a constant state of selfishness, seeing others only for how they can satisfy our needs and desires. 

Through the ages, many of the devotional masters have testified to the role that practicing solitude and silence plays in “loving our neighbor as ourself.” Thomas Merton wrote, “It is in deep solitude [and silence] that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am, the more affection I have for them.” More recently, Richard Foster commented, “The fruit of solitude [and silence] is increased sensitivity and compassion for others. There comes a new freedom to be with people. There is new attentiveness to their needs, new responsiveness to their hurts.” 

So, how exactly does entering into solitude and silence cultivate gentleness and love for our neighbor? In the quiet place, we are not alone; we are in the presence of the one true God who exists in a community of love – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As we are transformed from the inside out by God’s love, we begin the slow process of seeing our neighbor through fresh eyes. Eyes of compassion, where judgment once reigned. Eyes of forgiveness, where anger once ruled the day. And eyes of reconciliation, where division felt like the only option. 

Today, intentionally carve out some time to get quiet with God. As you do, allow His love to wash over you, filling you with renewed love for your neighbor.