This Bible reading plan is ideal for you if you are interested in learning more about courtship or are currently in a relationship. We must learn important lessons about courtship and apply them to our lives to make wise choices about our romantic relationships. Join me as I take you through the meaning, rules, and purpose of biblical courtship.
Evans Francis
Day 1
Scriptures: Proverbs 16:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14
What Is Courtship?
Today in the Evangelical Church, young people have copied the world’s mold in looking for a partner. Hollywood has sold them the idea of courtship. Courtship includes a couple’s relationship for an indeterminate time. Although that relationship should be heading for marriage, it doesn’t always end that way, which usually leads to disappointments and very deep emotional wounds. In the absence of commitment, the boy, or sometimes the girl, wants to date with multiple partners without commitment. By the time they do get married, they usually already have a long history of ex-partners.
In the Bible, the term “courtship” does not exist. What? Yes, you heard that right! Does not exist! You can search for the best match and you won’t find that term. Why? Because courtship is a modern concept, very far from biblical customs and even farther from God’s original pattern.
But we can define courting as a period during which a mature, godly young man and woman, with the approval of both their parents, seek to confirm God’s direction regarding their possible marriage.
Courtship is a time to confirm God’s will. It is not just about going out and having a good time, or physical attraction. We discover things about each other’s personalities, likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams by spending time together. A good marriage partner will exhibit godly character traits such as generosity, forgiveness, grace, mercy, love, selflessness, patience, and justice. They will also help us exhibit these traits.
Many Christians see courtship as little more than friendship. Courting allows Christians to determine if their potential marriage candidate is a believer in Christ (Proverbs 16:3). The Bible warns us that believers and unbelievers should not marry (2 Corinthians 6:14) because those who live in the light (of Christ) cannot live in harmony if they do.
However, if you are a Christian out to meet someone with marriage in mind, you should ask yourself several questions: Does this person help or hinder you from walking with Christ? Are you making sure you don’t idolize this person, the relationship, or even the goal of marriage? Are you able to remain sexually pure with this person? Are you comfortable being genuine with this person? Are you being honest in the relationship? Do you feel challenged to grow in this relationship? All these questions must be embedded in the minds of those courting to make the right selection of a godly partner.
I pray we graciously find the perfect partner made for each one of us in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Day 2
Scriptures: Romans 14:12, Romans 14:22-23, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Genesis 2:24
Rules of Courtship
Some movements in the church create cultures with practices we embrace just because others do. We are all accountable to God for our conscious decisions (Romans 14:12, 22-23). We must be informed by the Word and conduct ourselves truthfully without succumbing to cultural pressures. We will look at five major guidelines that we need to follow in a courtship.
Rule #1: Sex is exclusive to marriage.
Having sex before marriage is defrauding a person, according to the text of 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7. The sexual act is not simple: it is an act that represents the reality that two people have come together.
Rule #2: Your body is exclusive to your spouse.
Your body belongs to your future spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1-4, Proverbs 5:15-19). Before getting married, remember that you should save yourself for that person. You cannot guarantee that a current dating relationship will end in marriage. In other words, you shouldn’t bond in this way with your partner until after the wedding.
Rule #3: Your heart is exclusive to your spouse.
Ephesians 5:31 points out that in marriage, we become one with our spouse and share our whole lives. Every young person in a courtship must care for their heart to avoid exposing it inappropriately. A relationship must develop in a progressive way: as the relationship grows, the more the heart is given to the other person. Flattery and physical expressions of affection are appropriate for each stage of the relationship.
Rule #4: Parents have a voice in your choice.
The Bible mentions that parents have authority over their children until they marry (Genesis 2:24). This implies that parents have a voice in the development of the courtship as long as biblical principles guide them and what they ask for is reasonable within the reality of the single person. If parents are not involved in their children’s lives, the role of exercising authority and giving advice would be placed on a the church or a trusted individual.
Rule #5: The Bible is exclusive to guide us.
The Bible must govern all relationships, not cultural pressures (2 Timothy 3:16-17). The world may tell you that you have to see if you have sexual compatibility with your partner before marriage or if there is chemistry between the two of you, but this should not interfere with the reality that the Bible prohibits all types of sexual relations before marriage.
A believer must trust that it is more important to have theological compatibility than sexual compatibility. I pray we will not take the wrong step while courting in Jesus’ name; amen.
Day 3
Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Proverbs 18:22
Biblical Purpose of Courtship
Courtship is important because it reveals the identity and character of the person you are planning to marry. Without courtship, you will be marrying a stranger. Here are purposes of courtship:
#1: To build a friendship
A successful marriage is the product of a good friendship with your partner built from courtship and developed with time. Couples who marry without good courtship may discover that they are married but still emotionally single after a few months (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
#2: To remove the mask of pretense and show the true colors of your potential spouse
Don’t be deceived by someone’s talents, gifts, beauty or handsomeness, money, popularity, or positions; such things can be faked. Besides, they don’t last forever.
#3: To tell you whether to continue with marriage or end at courtship
The marriage that will work shows its signs early from courtship. Don’t put your marital destiny in bondage based on hope without a guarantee.
#4: To help you confirm your convictions
When God shows you who your wife or husband is, courtship will confirm it. One sure foundation for a successful marriage is when you are certain that God says this is your husband or wife.
#5: To lay a good foundation for your marriage
During courtship, you should have time to pray together, study and read the word of God, plan together as a team, and discuss important issues that will help the marriage.
#6: To prepare well for your marriage while waiting for your wedding
You don’t prepare in marriage; you prepare for marriage. Courtship gives you a good opportunity to improve yourself and learn things you need to know about marriage.
#7: To avoid the mistake of marrying the wrong man or woman tomorrow
There are no shortcuts in marriage; follow due process. Lay a good foundation for your marriage through clean courtship, and you will be laughing and dancing for joy (Proverbs 18:22).
I pray that at the end of it all, we are blessed with the right person that fits in Jesus’ name; amen.