You know God offers you a more abundant life than the one you’re living, but the sad truth is comparison holds you back from going to the next level. In this reading plan Anna Light uncovers insights that will shatter the lid comparison puts on your capabilities, and help you live the free and abundant life God designed for you.
Anna Light (LiveLaughLight)
Day 1
Scriptures: Matthew 11:28-30, Isaiah 26:3-4, Isaiah 54:10, Ephesians 3:16-21
There’s a reason you chose this reading plan.
Maybe you’re struggling under the weight of constant comparison, always falling short of the impossible standard you have in your mind. Maybe you’ve lost friendships because of your constant need to be the best, or your relationships have lost intimacy because comparison has stolen your ability to be a true and uplifting friend.
Or maybe you’re just tired.
Tired of the constant barrage of life that fills your mind with anxiety, doubt, depression, and anger because of comparison.
“I can’t keep up!” you think. You long for a place of peace where you can be loved for who you are, not for what you have, what you’ve accomplished, your popularity, influence, and likes. Loved with no filter needed.
I know, because that was me. At the beginning of this year, I decided to take a three day, water-only fast and pray over a few things I wanted to overcome in my personal life. I wrote a few prayers on post-it notes and stuck them on a wall in my closet. I was really good about getting up in the morning and spending extra time in God’s presence praying over these post-it notes… for about three days. As soon as my fast ended, my extra prayer time seemed to end as well. What didn’t end was God’s power at work in my life through those specific prayers I laid at His feet.
One particular prayer was this: “Help me break free from comparison!” I felt pulled down, overcome by an invisible weight, blinded by my judgments of others. I unfollowed people on social media who made me feel inferior. I talked negatively about people who made me feel jealous and never celebrated with those who were accomplishing great things in their lives. The only peace I had was isolation. When no one was around to compare myself to, I was safe. But loneliness set in and left my world small and my mind smaller. I wanted a way OUT!
The following reading plan is the answer I feel came straight from the Throne of Grace. Over the next 7 days we’ll explore questions like:
What is comparison?
What happens when we compare?
How do we overcome comparison?
Through these thoughts, given straight from God in my searching prayer for freedom, I believe you will also find freedom from the trap of comparison and experience the full and abundant life He planned for you.
Lord, I’m so tired. I’m tired of always feeling like I’m not enough, not doing enough, not accomplishing enough. The world around me gives me too many opportunities to compare myself to others and I know it is not healthy. Help me to lay this at your feet with full confidence that I can be free from this. I want to be the person you created with nothing holding me back from my full potential, in Jesus’ Name.
Day 2
Scriptures: John 10:10, Galatians 6:3-5, Colossians 2:9-10, 2 Peter 1:3-8
What is comparison?
Comparison is a form or manifestation of insecurity. It comes from lack. Lack of identity. Lack of purpose. Lack of confidence in who we are and the life we have been given.
Insecurity comes from believing lies and not knowing or believing our true identity. So when we compare ourselves to others, essentially we’re saying, “I don’t know or believe in who I am, and I don’t know or believe in who God is.”
We compare because we are searching for a sense of security outside of ourselves. Whether we know it or not we are constantly searching for where we fall in the hierarchy of life. We want to know our place in life, where we fall and how we measure up to others because we lack a sense of security that should come from within.
True, some of us compare from a lack of confidence. People who struggle with comparison may not realize how blessed, gifted and talented they are because they’re too others-focused. Many others may compare because of their competitive and perfectionist nature. Type-A personalities are driven by this nature. You’re often the best at things, the go-to leader, the alpha male or female of your group or community so your propensity to compare comes from your desire to always be on top. Being the best gives you a sense of security, but it is not a security that lasts. No matter why you compare we must acknowledge that comparison never leads to true humility, which pleases God.
Comparison is also a thief. You’ve heard it said: “Comparison kills contentment.” “Comparison is the thief of joy.” “Comparison kills your influence.”
Comparison steals, kills and destroys our minds and our hearts. Because of this we see comparison as a tool of the enemy. Your enemy hates you and will stop at nothing to diminish the life of God in you, the full and abundant life He promises. When we give in to comparison we give the enemy a foothold in our lives and can’t experience all that God has for us.
We may not intentionally compare ourselves but the temptation and danger of comparison are always before us because comparison is a sin. But like any sin, we must commit ourselves to a lifestyle away from sin and away from comparison.
Do you compare from lack of confidence, or from a false sense of security to be the best?
Lord, I confess my propensity to compare myself to others. Sometimes I do it without even knowing it. I want to better know Who You are and I want to know who I am because of You. I desire that my inner confidence that comes from my relationship with You. Search my heart and show me the root of why I struggle with comparison and set me free in Jesus’ Name!
Day 3
Scriptures: Proverbs 16:17-19, Proverbs 18:12, Proverbs 22:4, 2 Corinthians 10:12
We often compare ourselves to others and come to the conclusion we are better than them, farther along than them, prettier, skinnier, make more money, have more followers, have a greater influence. Then we feel a sense of superiority.
The problem with this is that superiority is rooted in pride and we know from the Bible what comes with pride. A fall.
The problem with comparing ourselves to feel superior is that there will always be someone else farther along, someone else we consider prettier, more fit, with a bigger house, more money, more followers, and more influence than us. This is why the second outcome of comparison is equally as destructive to our hearts.
When we compare ourselves to others and we come up lacking we feel a sense of inferiority. Inferiority is rooted in insecurity. It is past the point of humility into negativity of thought, mind, and attitude. Being down on ourselves can lead to depression, anxiety, and fear. This behavior will equally trap us because it locks us in a prison of lies.
Remember, true humility is what we’re after because true humility pleases God and brings Him glory. Imagine it like an unbalanced scale. True humility keeps us steady, not leaning too far in either direction.
Pride Insecurity
__________________________________________________________________________________
True Humility
Superiority Inferiority
To have true humility we must only use His standard as our measuring stick—and we all know how we measure up to Him.
Romans 3:23 tells us “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
We don’t measure up! That’s where humility— true humility—comes in because we fall short, we can’t do it on our own.
Imagine your life like an arrow. The archer pulls back on the bow and releases it toward a target. The target is God’s standard for our lives. The arrow flies through the air but quickly drops short of the target, not hitting the bullseye, not even hitting the target at all. That’s what the Bible means when it says we fall short.
The good news is, God in His loving grace gives us Jesus, who picks up our arrow and helps us go the rest of the way. Through Jesus, we can go the distance, but we need HIM! All of us need Him. There’s no one better. No one worse. When it comes to our worth He sees us all the same. In Him we find our true identity, and when we know who we are, we find our path and our purpose, the life He’s given us to embrace.
True and lasting humility comes when we keep our eyes on the target, not on the other arrows.
Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you and not on what other people are doing or saying. My worth, identity and direction come from You and no one else. I desire true humility and a heart that pleases and honors you. Show me areas of my life that I’m leaning too far in pride or insecurity and bring me back into alignment with You.
Day 4
Scriptures: Psalms 31:1-4, Matthew 6:19-21, Matthew 6:25-33, John 17:15-19
The easiest, most destructive way we compare is through social media. I say most destructive because of two things: we use social media every day, possibly multiple times a day, and we are usually alone and isolated with our thoughts. The sad truth is this wasn’t even an issue ten years ago. Social media has become so pervasive in our culture over the last decade that it has caused an epidemic of souls craving attention but feeling lonelier than ever.
Something that was designed to connect us has actually begun to isolate us and if we’re not careful, this destructive mindset of comparison can shrivel our hearts faster than anything.
Why?
The average person has five social media accounts and spends an hour and forty minutes a day browsing those accounts.
And we wonder why we struggle with comparison, inadequacy, insecurity, and scarcity.
What are we putting in front of our faces more often?
However, I don’t think the answer is to remove yourself from social media. The devil is in the extremes. We have to remember that we are to be in the world, but not of the world. We have to learn to use social media, like anything else, for our good, and His glory.
Body types and our physical appearance is another quick comparison we make. We may look at a person and within a glance make certain judgments and comparisons based on how they’re dressed, their make-up, hair or how they carry themselves. Sometimes these are simple observations of people-watching and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes when we wrongfully compare ourselves to others based on their outward appearance.
Oftentimes comparison comes in the form of material possessions like houses, cars, salaries, and vacations. We see the outside, the casing, emblem, name brand, or uniform, and make quick judgments without knowing the full story. The problem with this comes when we keep ourselves from authentically connecting with others. We assume they are either out of our league or have nothing to offer us based on our perception of them.
We also compare others’ life experiences and accomplishments to our own. You want a spouse, but you’re still single. You want kids, or you wish you could have a quiet moment away from your kids! You desire a family that isn’t dysfunctional. She has the perfect body, you’re still trying to lose the five-year-old baby weight. His company took off, and yours tanked.
The things we compare show us a great deal about what’s important to us. I will argue that we shouldn’t just shut down comparison and jealousy. I’ve learned we can actually use it as a tool to direct our lives and enlighten our self-awareness. We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.
Lord, open my eyes to the things that make me feel that sting of jealousy. Help me to turn the mirror on myself and take time to deeply reflect on what I’m spending my time doing. Show me why I feel threatened by certain people or circumstances and help me never put myself above or below another based on quick judgments of their outer appearance.
Day 5
Scriptures: Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 4:29-32, Philippians 2:3-11, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 4:10
When we compare and feel lacking we must ask: are the things I wish I had something I could make happen if I put in the work? Could the thing you’re jealous of be something God wants to do in your life? Maybe we shouldn’t shut down comparison and jealousy. Maybe we should bring it to God in humility and ask for His guidance.
You might not be able to change your body type, but could you lose the weight that’s making you unhappy? Could you repaint your kitchen cabinets to give your home a fresher look? Could you reconnect with an estranged relationship? Go to marriage counseling? Work on yourself while you’re single? Get on a budget to have more spending money?
Could God be using comparison and jealousy to point you in a direction He wants you to go?
This very thing happened to me.
A girl I grew up with seemed to have everything. She was beautiful, full of life, and popular with everyone. I found myself comparing and thinking if I was like her then maybe I would not hate who I was so much.
Through my bout of obsession with this girl’s life, I saw one thing that stood out as a constant.
Jesus.
It was evident her source of strength, hope and confidence came from something bigger than herself and the good news was I could have it too if I put in the work. So I did.
A few years later I got a call from a girl confessing her jealousy of me. She told me, “I find myself thinking that if I could just be like Anna, I would like myself.”
I was able to tell her the same thing God revealed to me: “You don’t want to be me. You just want the freedom you see, and the good news is you can have it if you put in the work.”
The truth is, when we make quick comparisons based on what we see on the outside it keeps us from knowing the heart or story of that person.
Before I learned this, I secretly resented the work of God in other’s lives, especially when that work looked like a success. I was not a nay-sayer, I was a no-sayer. To me, that’s worse. Celebrating the work of God in another person’s life does not diminish the work of God in your own life. In fact, NOT celebrating with others could affect God’s willingness to work through you. If you find yourself resenting the success in other’s lives, break through that stronghold with encouragement, and ask yourself what you need to do to get to work.
Is there something in your life you’re unhappy about that you have the power to change?
What is keeping you from making that change?
Lord, I want to bring my comparisons and jealousy to You and ask for direction for my life. Are You pointing me in a direction I’m supposed to go? Open my eyes to what You might be speaking at this moment as I bring these things to You. Help me to be an encouragement to others, knowing I am loved by You just as much as anyone else.
Day 6
Scriptures: Psalms 37:4, Isaiah 43:19, Isaiah 55:8-9, Romans 10:10, Mark 11:23-24
What about the things you can’t change?
We can’t change another person’s heart. We can’t change the past. We might not be able to change or control our circumstances. But do you believe, in His divine understanding, that God has placed you in this life with your issues, relationships, and station, for a specific reason? Could He be using those things that are out of our control, to teach us absolute trust in His perfect plan for our lives? God doesn’t waste anything. He doesn’t waste a hardened heart, tough circumstances, or things outside our control. What might He be showing you through the things in your life that you don’t like, but cannot change?
Another question to ask ourselves: are we enduring the things we can’t change, or embracing them?
There’s a big difference between enduring and embracing and the difference is in our attitude. Enduring means we do just enough to get by while embracing elevates us from survival to thriving, even in the midst of our hardship.
When we choose to embrace instead of enduring, nothing might change in our circumstances, but the change will be in our heart. He can use those unmoving circumstances to soften our heart, which might not have changed otherwise.
Psalm 37:4 can help us understand this idea a little better. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Growing up I always thought that meant if I did all the right things I would get what I wanted… only later did I learn the true meaning of the word “delight.” The Hebrew word translated “delight” literally means to be delicate. It carries the idea of being pliable and soft. So when God says to delight ourselves in Him, He’s saying, “Let Me mold and shape your desires. As you delight in Me, your desires will become My desires. What I want will be what you want.”
Is He asking you to dive into what He’s given you so that through the things that cannot be changed become the things that change you?
Lord, there are some things in my life that I do not like, but I have no power to change. Show me what it is I can do to change my attitude and mindset. I want a heart of flesh, molded and shaped by your loving hands. Help me trust You even when I don’t understand what I’m going through. I place this difficult, unchanging situation in Your hands and ask that Your will be done.
Consider reading the following scriptures in the Message version.
Day 7
Scriptures: Proverbs 11:24-25, Philippians 3:8-11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Romans 8:1-2
At the start of our plan, we realized comparison comes from lack. Lack of understanding of who God is, and who we are because of Him.
I’m convinced our inability to remain connected to Him daily is because we don’t have a full understanding of His true nature. He’s not an angry kill-joy, watching us from heaven waiting for us to mess up. He’s not holding out on us. He doesn’t condemn us, judge us, or experience any negative emotion toward us. He’s a deeply personal, loving God, who is as close as our heartbeat.
He is also infinitely complete. He lacks nothing. The work Jesus did on the cross allows us to have the spirit of God living inside us. Therefore, we lack nothing either.
When it comes to comparison, we simply need to remember: each of us is an expression of the nature of God—an aspect of His being He wanted the world to know.
Do you know which aspect the Lord is revealing through you?
Are you:
Orderly, Compassionate, Responsible, Creative, Free-spirited, Disciplined, Kind, Funny, Smart, Fierce, Quiet, A good listener, Nurturing, Competitive, Laid back, Intense…He has placed inside of you an aspect of Himself. God is so faceted! He needed a whole human race to express Who He is to us!
Knowing who you are and the unique features in which He’s gifted you will give you the confidence to do the right thing when you are tempted to compare. Ask yourself, “What is this person showing me about God?”
By what they share on social media ask, “What aspect of God can I see in this person?”
In your interactions with others, “What is God revealing to me through this interaction?”
When you feel threatened by another’s talents or success, “How can I celebrate what God is doing in this person’s life?”
When you’ve grown in your own identity and gained the confidence in who God has created you to be, you’ll not only be able to think those positive thoughts but say them out-loud. You will be able to compliment with a sincere heart to build others up instead of tearing them or yourself down through comparison. What a life-giving person you’ll become to others!
As you see yourself as a valuable aspect of the nature of God, you will begin to see others the same way, and finally, overcome the trap of comparison.
Lord, help me see myself the way You see me. Open my eyes to see the God in each person I come into contact with so that I might bring You glory through my interactions. I pray You show me my value and the unique aspect of Your nature You have placed inside of me so that I can be free to celebrate the unique aspects You’ve placed inside of others. I will no longer compare. I say it again, I will no longer compare myself to others, but do my part to celebrate the body of Christ so that it will be built up and strengthened, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen!