I grew up with a fear of Jesus’ words about losing your life in order to save it, dying to self in order to live. My young mind figured that meant it was sinful to be happy and have what you want in life. As a result, I’ve developed a fear that to want is selfish.
I’ve been looking at it differently lately, the idea of full surrender to God. I feel that I am still not fully understanding, and yet, I feel a desire to hand it all over to God, because to live for God must be the most beautiful way to live. And part of me suspects that’s the way to true freedom.
I’ve thought about this for a while, but today I felt my own personal desires for my life very strongly. And I’m struggling to understand what God’s purpose is for giving me these hopes and dreams for my life – hopes and dreams like marriage, family, home.
Am I being selfish?
I can sense that God wants my whole heart, and that He deserves to be first place in my life. But what do I do about the things I want so strongly?
You’re not being selfish. We are called to different vocations in life…Married, single, vowed, or ordained. You can still have a family and give yourself to the Lord. Marriage is a sacrament also, don’t fret. Just pray and trust in the Lord, everything will pan out. Promise!
Turn to Him and Trust Him, Believe His Word instead of men. (we have to give up what men taught us all of our lives when we turn to Jesus to follow Jesus, if Jesus Permits.
btw, all the wants and desires of our soulish life are not cleaned up to be made good or right or in line with God’s Will – they are all crucified according to God’s Perfect Plan to Save us even from ourselves and our ‘good’ religion or whatever.
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