Content With Discontent: Killing Comparison With Gratitude

Scriptures: Jude 1:14-16, Exodus 17:1-7, Romans 8:26-28

I have a confession to make: I have exercise ADD. I have a tendency to start a regimen up but don’t stick with it. Sometimes the routine will stick for three months, six months. And while I enjoy each of the mediums (as much as a person who doesn’t enjoy exercise possibly can enjoy a lane of exercise), I, admittedly, allow schedule to creep in and steal away that time. Recently, I picked walking daily in the morning back up and felt so good about myself as a few weeks went by and I had been more consistent with it. 

One morning I was walking my neighborhood with a relatively brisk pace, noticing I was less ‘out of breath’ than the previous week as I worked my way up one of the hills. Then from out of nowhere, a woman about ten years younger than me swept past me in a moderate jogging rhythm, her beautiful pony tail swinging back and forth behind her, leaving me in her metaphorical dust. Instantaneously, I went from feeling proud and encouraged to ashamed and defeated. 

“I should be in better shape than I’m in.”
“If I had stuck with one lane of exercise and maintained this habit, I would look better than I do.”
“I’m too young to look this old.”
“I need better workout clothes.” 

The list of internal thought rants, complaints, and excuses began to stack up. 

Have you experienced this in at least one area of your life? I have this in multiplelanes, it seems…at least on occasion. I’m walking along–confident in my capabilities, skill set, life’s call, home, family, marriage–and then somebody else comes jogging along, sweeping ahead of me, and I stumble over the obstacle of comparison and discontentment. I swing from “I got this!” to “why can’t I get it together?” in a matter of moments. And if I’m not careful, I listen to the self-doubt long enough that NOTHING is going right in my life. EVERYTHING is worthless, less than, falling short. Once I start down that track, a megaphone is handed to every doubt or perceived failure this perfectionist has ever had. 

Why is contentment so challenging to achieve? And why is comparison so hard to overcome?

Over these next few days, let’s kick comparison to the curb and learn the art of living in true contentment. 

Dig a Little Deeper: 

Before we get started, require yourself to name a few areas in which you struggle with comparison. Who do you compare yourself to? When does the comparison seem to sneak up on you? Have you noticed a pattern? Write those thoughts down and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the areas in which He desires to work in your heart, mind, and life.

Scriptures: Jude 1:14-16, Matthew 5:5

I recently read a message online from a pastor in Chicago called “The Hellish Sin of Discontent.” His statement was this: “We will only get serious about pursuing contentment if we are convinced that the lack of it is a hellish sin.”

When we look upon our nation, our world, communities, churches, and, sometimes, our homes, we see a ramped-up tension that is comprised of anger, frustration, and anxiety. Discontentment is about moving from peace to anger, satisfaction to frustration, and from trust to anxiety. Contentment is about moving from anger to peace, from frustration to satisfaction, and from anxiety to trust. 

Powerful stuff, right? 

Why would this pastor, however, speak of discontentment as being a hellish sin? He referenced the book of Jude—a power-packed, straight-shooting kind of letter from the half-brother of our savior Jesus. If there is any ounce of ungodliness in one’s life, Jude sniffs it out and calls it out!

Let’s read verses 14 and 15 of his letter:

“It was also about these that Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied, saying, “Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of his holy ones, to execute judgment on all and to convict all the ungodly of all their deeds of ungodliness that they have committed in such an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things that ungodly sinners have spoken against him.””
Jude 1:14-15 ESV

Jude wrote about an otherwise unknown prophecy from Enoch, speaking about a judgment coming for all the ungodly, which will convict them of their deeds of ungodliness, deeds they’ve committed in an ungodly way, and been talked about by ungodly sinners. FOUR TIMES Jude mentions some form of ungodliness in one run-on sentence. But in verse 16 he goes on to describe these “horrible, ungodly people”:

“These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage.”
Jude 1:16 ESV 

What was so convicting to me was seeing the progression Jude provided in this one powerful sentence. It’s a progression no one knowingly seeks out, but many will follow without heeding the flashing warning signs found here in Scripture. Murmuring, griping and complaining, then following their own passion-driven desires. Close behind is speaking arrogantly and flat-out flattering or lying to gain greater power, control, and position.

All of that follows closely behind the symptoms of what you and I might casually call…discontent. 

Dig a Little Deeper: 

Do you recall a time in your life when you were tempted to grumble or complain because things in your life weren’t going as well as you liked? Or perhaps they weren’t going as well as you believed you deserved in comparison to others around you? Stop and think about it. How was your relationship with God the Father during that season of time?

Scriptures: Jude 1:14-16, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalms 107:1-43

As a recovering perfectionist, I have battled for contentment through much of my adult life. There have been seasons where I truly felt content. It was easy. Things were clicking. The kids were behaving. My house looked the way I wanted. My husband was being considerate. Friendships were thriving. And I felt fulfilled in what my day-to-day looked like. But there have been many, many seasons over the course of these past several decades where I truly felt discontent. And I was frustrated by it. I wrestled with it. Took it to Jesus. I didn’t want to feel that way. 

Discontentment. It’s often the result of comparison to someone else’s life, work, appearance, or possessions. But it’s also a result of ingratitude—failure to recognize His faithful provision for our needs, and miscategorizing personal desires as needs He is obligated to provide. Truth be told, God owes us nothing. The breath in our lungs is His gift. Provision for our families is His blessing. The opportunity to build His Kingdom, serve in His victorious army, a privilege. 

According to the verses we’ve been reading in Jude, God comes to execute judgment on the ungodly. And who are the ungodly? Grumblers and malcontents. 

There are two definitions for ‘malcontent’: 

1. a person who is always or often unhappy; 
2. one who bears a grudge from a sense of grievance or thwarted ambition. 

Here are a few examples: 

• Others seem to have more going for them than you do—better gifts, better looks, better opportunities, and you are not happy with what God has given you. 
• You are frustrated in your marriage or with your children. Other people seem to have compliant children, and you have one who is not easy. You are not happy about that. 
• Your friend has a home that is larger than yours, vacations that are more exotic than yours, and it all comes from a salary that is bigger than yours. You look at that and you find yourself saying, “Why him? Why her? Why them… and not me?” 
• Your life is not as you want it to be, your family is not as you want it to be, your work is not as you want it to be, and the church is not as you want it to be—you are not happy. 

You have a sense of grievance about you, and if that gets hold of you, it will take you to a dark place. 

Contentment is a learned trait, because it is counter-self. It is acknowledging: “I have all that I need”. Yes, you and I can, and must, learn how to be content. 

Dig a Little Deeper: 

1. Take a few moments today to acknowledge how God has supplied your needs. Go ahead, and name them. Then, give Him thanks for them! 
2. Require yourself to look back over the past 30, 60, or 90 days and honestly admit when you’ve grumbled or complained against the Lord, or others, for things not going as you thought they should. Ask God for forgiveness, and if that includes someone else, reach out to him or her and apologize, as well. 

Scriptures: Philippians 4:1-9, 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, Psalms 73:1-3

If you’re battling with discontentment, you’re in good company. The Scriptures are loaded with examples of disappointed saints—men and women of faith who nonetheless battled with discontentment from time to time. The children of Israel made no bones about their many declarations of discontentment. The psalms give us hope as you see from some of God’s finest, some days they just felt like whining a little. The disciples even jockeyed for position while walking alongside Jesus in the flesh.

The apostle Paul did us justice when he wrote from the rat-infested dungeon of a prison cell in Philippians 4. He begins the chapter with general encouragement to just live for Jesus. Throughout the remainder of the letter, he reminded them of what it means to suffer for the Lord, live consistently for him, resist evil, and remain humble. Let’s read the first five verses here:

“Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;” [Philippians 4:1-5 ESV]

Pretty straightforward, right?

Phil 4:1–“I’m sending my love and encourage you to stand firm in the Lord.”

Phil 4:2–Paul was writing to the church folk about getting along with each other. 

Phil 4:3–Support each other in the spreading of the Gospel!

Phil 4:4–Maintain joy.

Phil 4:5–Be gentle with everybody.

JESUS IS COMING SOON.

But then he starts getting down to where they truly live—acknowledging what may have been going on in his own life, and justifiably so. Paul, most likely, was living in a rat-infested, sewage-saturated dungeon in Rome. I’ve been there. You cannot stand up inside of it! It is no posh VRBO. And he lets them in on some secrets he’s learned to remain grateful, at peace, and content amid the worst of circumstances.

Let’s read the next few verses:

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:6-9 ESV

Phil 4:6–Cast off anxiety by praying and maintaining gratitude.

Phil 4:7–Once you’ve cast that off, the peace comes to help you guard your heart and mind. Embrace His peace.

Phil 4:8-9–Think on what is true and right and good; manage your thought life.

How is your thought life? Having a thought is not sinful. But meditating on the wrong thought–letting it set up camp in your mind and heart–can lead to sin, especially the sin of discontent.

Dig a Little Deeper:

What do you do when thoughts of comparison, ingratitude, or bitterness sneak into your mind? Take the next 24 hours to practice Thought Management. When a thought that threatens peace, leads to comparison, or instigates anxiety enters your mind, stop to pray and give it to Jesus immediately. Replace that thought with something or someone you are grateful for. Notice how the peace of God comes to your aid.

Scriptures: Philippians 4:10-13, Romans 8:26-28, Romans 8:31, Psalms 73:16-17, Psalms 73:22-28

If you read only verses 6-9 of Philippians 4, camping in that thought management piece from yesterday’s session, it appears that Paul is about to wrap it up. But then he goes just a little deeper, gets a little more vulnerable with us. 

“I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:10-13 ESV 

Phil 4:10–Thank you for caring about what God has assigned me to do. That meant a lot! You expressed your desire to supply my needs. But I’ve learned something in my perceived lack. 

Phil 4:11–Through all the statements I’ve made above, I’ve learned how to be content. 

I want to stop right here and give you (and me) some reassurance: if you are battling with discontentment, this is a lifelong learning process. And our humanness seems to require us to relearn these fundamental principles over and over again in different seasons and stages of our lives. Paul said it was a series of seasons in his life—seasons of being in want, seasons of abundant provision—that taught him this lesson: 

Phil 4:12–My circumstances do not determine my contentment. 

But how did Paul ultimately kick discontent to the curb? 

Phil 4:13–I can be content because of the strength God provides to me to do so. His strength is my foundation. Nothing, no one else. 

You may already be aware of discontent in your life. Or perhaps it’s nestled in between something like weakness, disappointment, grief, or hurt. Paul penned yet another invaluable encouragement to the Roman believers, and to us today, in Romans 8, beginning in verse 26: 

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

And then down in verse 31: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:26-28, 31 ESV 

In your own strength, you won’t be able to conquer comparison. You won’t be able to destroy the sin of discontent in your life. But when you lean into the strength provided by the Word of God and the work of the Holy Spirit, true victory is yours for the asking! You can do all things through Christ. You can be content. 

Dig a Little Deeper: 

1. Surrender and repent. If you still have discontent, grumbling, or resentment in your heart and mind, give that to Jesus and thank Him for the conviction of His Spirit. What a gift! 

2. Receive God’s peace and comfort. If condemnation continues to knock on your heart’s door, that’s not from God. Resist it and embrace the promised peace of God. 

3. Confess to someone. Often comparison causes us to resent others and begrudge them the blessings of God. Reverse that! And require yourself to bless them with encouragement. 

4. Acknowledge the many gifts of God—tangible and intangible—you currently possess. Write them down. Send a text message of acknowledgment to someone. Create a reminder in your phone to jog your memory each day.