Scriptures: Psalms 91:15, Psalms 18:6, Lamentations 3:55

How do you think God responds to your brokenness? 

How do you think God responds to the patterns you’re desperate to change but just can’t? How do you think He feels about the trauma you’ve endured, the heartbreak you’ve experienced, and the sadness you carry in and out of every day? 

Angry. 

Annoyed.

Frustrated.

Those are the three most common responses I hear from my counseling clients. Many of them think that God is annoyed that they just aren’t over their pain yet. They’ve missed the truth that He cares about them. They’ve lost the good news of the gospel under the voices of people who wielded the weapon of religion to dismiss their pain and belittle their hardship. When we feel like people are annoyed, angry, or frustrated with us, our natural response is to draw away from them, to isolate ourselves and find solace in solitude. The same is true of our relationship with God. When we believe He’s angry at us, we don’t draw near, we don’t get close, we don’t cry out to Him. 

We don’t cry out to God because we think He won’t come. We forget that we cry out to remind our souls of who our hope is in. We cry out to remind ourselves that there is a God listening on the other end. We cry out to release the mental, emotional, and spiritual burdens that accumulate in the silence of our minds. We cry out because it teaches us that, even in our pain, we are worthy of being heard and that there is one bigger than the pain we’re carrying. When we cry out to God, we expose our hearts and attune our ears to the real-time divine presence and comfort that God is offering us in the darkest days of our lives. 

For those of us recovering from trauma, anxiety, and depression, calling on God is a complicated task. The weight of our mental and emotional state makes it hard to call on the Person who can give us divine comfort. We don’t know what to say, or how to invite Him into our experience of suffering. Though we’ve heard that God is Emmanuel: God With us, we struggle with how to make space for Him. 

Over the next seven days, I’ll walk you through the five key components of the spiritual discipline called Lament. Lament is a spiritual practice that allows us to invite God into our suffering by crying out to Him in the midst of our pain. So many of us have heard the words “lay it all at the altar,” but so few of us have been taught how to do that. This is the how. We’ll begin our practice day-by-day and on our last day we’ll combine our knowledge and practice from each day to create a personal Lamentation that will open our hearts to God in the midst of our hard season. 

God sees your pain. He longs to meet you in it. All you have to do is cry out to the loving Father, and He will show you that He’s already there.

Scriptures: Genesis 22:14, Psalms 46:1, Proverbs 18:10

To lament, we: 

Call on God. We address Him in a way that is authentic to us. 

The practice of lament consists of five key components that allow us to invite God into our deep pain and anguish. The very first is one that seems so simple but is truly imperative to the process of inviting God in. The very first thing we need to do is to call on God. 

I imagine that my four-year-old son calls my name more than 100 times a day. 

“Mommy, can you help me?” 

“Mommy, I want that one.” 

“Mommy, can I have more?” 

He calls on me because he needs my help, He needs my support, and he wants me to be his source of help. Who we call on when we’re in the deep distress that trauma, anxiety, and depression causes us reveals who we believe will help us. It speaks to who we believe has the power to change our situation, who we have put our hope in. My son has called my name so many times, he even calls on me when he needs nothing at all, hoping that I’m nearby just so he can feel at ease. 

We don’t call on God to simply address Him. We call on Him because we know He will listen. We call on Him because we know He cares for us. We call on Him because our hope is in Him. We call on Him to remind our weary and worn souls that we are not alone. We call on Him to remind ourselves that there is someone who delights in us when we don’t delight in ourselves. 

His name is a prophecy of hope, a reminder of the riches we have even in the poverty of our souls. In Him we have a God who sees us. One who can bear the weight of our anger, sadness, and dark experiences. A God who is our banner, covering us when we’ve been left uncovered. We have a God who leads us as a shepherd leads his flock. He is the God who is ever present, one who gives us His righteousness as a gift in our brokenness, one who transforms us, one who provides for us and fights for us. He is our peace when we have none of our own. 

The Israelites, in their despair and hope, called Him by many names: 

El Shaddai – God Almighty 

Adonai – Lord. Master 

Jehovah Nissi – The Lord My Banner 

Jehovah Raah – The Lord My Shepherd 

Jehovah Shammah – The Lord Who is Present 

Jehovah Tsidkenu – The Lord Our Righteousness 

Jehovah Mekoddishkem – The Lord Who Sanctifies You 

El Olam – The Everlasting God 

Jehovah Jireh – The Lord Will provide 

Jehovah Shalom – The Lord is Peace 

Jehovah Sabaoth – The God of Angel Armies 

Application: Take a moment of vulnerability and call on God. Call Him by the name that most resonates with the need you have in your pain. 

Take one of these names listed and fill in this blank: “_________, You are here.” 

Place your hand over your heart. Close your eyes and repeat that sentence to yourself whenever feelings of anxiety, depression, grief, rage, confusion, loneliness, regret, shame, or guilt arise.

Scriptures: Matthew 26:39-42, Psalms 120:1

To lament, we: 

Make Our Complaint: Sharing with God what is making you frustrated, sad, angry etc. 

I believe one of the greatest myths that keeps believers from the eternal gift of presence with God that we have access to is the lie that God doesn’t care about how we feel. Many of us have been told or taught in one way or another that God doesn’t care about anything but His will. This lie keeps us from crying out to God. It keeps us from getting close enough to God to experience the tenderness, compassion, and grace that He offers us every day by convincing us to turn our back to God when we feel anything that we think opposes His will. 

God cares about how you feel, even if what you desire isn’t in His will. 

We see this to be true when Jesus prepared to go to the cross. Before His time for crucifixion came, Jesus decided to pray to His Father. In that prayer is a model of vulnerability from Jesus that we are called to model to our heavenly Father as well. We see a glimpse of how dearly God holds and regards our pain and desires no matter what the circumstance is. 

In Matthew 26:39-42, Jesus cries out to God saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” At that moment Jesus does something He doesn’t have to. He calls on God and expresses His fear, sadness, and lack of desire to go to the cross and endure the weight of the world. Jesus, being God Himself, already knew that He must go. He knew that nothing could change the truth that He had to go to the cross. And yet, He took time to express how He felt, modeling for us that the sinless perfection Jesus lived on earth included vulnerably sharing His negative feelings with God. 

In our likeness to Jesus, we are called to make the pains of our hearts known to God by sharing them with Him. He is trustworthy. He cares. And we matter to Him. That is why He wants us to share with Him what’s in our hearts. 

Application:

1. Call on God using the sentence we used yesterday: “________, You are here.” 
2. Then, as honestly as you can, share with God what’s on your heart. Don’t try to make it seem pretty. Don’t try to use words or phrases that you’ve heard others use. Go to God with your words and your pain. He’s here. He’s waiting. He’s listening.

Scriptures: Hebrews 4:16, Psalms 28:1-2, Psalms 25:20, Psalms 86:16, Psalms 71:2

To lament, we: 

Make Our Request. Let God know what you want Him to do about it. 

The pain of the past often clouds our ability to hope. They wear us down, wearing out our ability to look forward and see anything other than what we’re experiencing in the moment. When we’ve been anxious for so long, we think anxiety is all we’ll feel. When we’ve been depressed for so long, we start to think that depression is all we’ll experience. When we begin to face our trauma, we begin to feel that the triggers that fill our days and weeks are all we’ll experience. The enemy is masterful at using the truth of our experiences to bait us into the lie that our lives will never get better. 

Making a request of God requires that we bring to the front of our minds what our deepest desires are. They require that we imagine, even for just a moment, that we can have what our souls are thirsting for. 

When we utilize our holy imagination to imagine something we don’t yet have, to set our hearts on feelings we haven’t yet experienced, we attune our souls to the song of deliverance God is singing to us. We set our hearts on the heavenly riches we have access to, even if we have not yet held on to them. On a neurological level, hope expands the possibilities that our brain keeps in mind as we take our everyday actions. If we believe that nothing in our lives will change and that we’ll always be sad, we begin to take actions that validate that end goal. When we hope and believe that peace can be our portion, we gain the opportunity to take actions that align with that truth. 

Making a request of God causes us to hope and to remember that all power is in His hands. It allows us to embody the biblical imperative to approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we can have our needs met by God (Hebrews 4:16). 

If you could get God to do anything about the anxiety, depression, or trauma that you’re dealing with, what would you ask Him? What could only He do? 

Application:

1. Call on God using the sentence from week 1: “ _________, You are here.” 
2. Make your complaint clear to God. 
3. Then make your request to God. 

Scriptures: Hebrews 13:5, Isaiah 55:11, Isaiah 65:24

To lament, we: 

Remind God of His Motivation. We do this by calling on His promises and characteristics of God from Scripture. Remind Him of why your request is one that aligns with His will. 

Why should God answer your prayer? At the core of this component of lament is this question. The first time I learned this, I honestly felt uncomfortable. I asked questions like “God, why do I need to motivate or convince you to do good things for me? Aren’t I your child? Aren’t you a good father who cares about us?” Even in my questioning I missed the point. When we remind God of why He should do certain things for us, we are really reminding ourselves of the character of God. We are reminding ourselves of who God is, forcing us to reevaluate who and what informs us about who God is. Where did I learn that God was a good father? From the Bible. Where did I learn that I was a child of God? From Scripture. 

This practice of reminding God of His promises as a motivation for why He should show up for us is not really about convincing God. It’s really about gaining the perspective that if He said it, it will happen, even if it hasn’t happened yet. It often helps us see that He’s already shown up for us or is in the middle of it at the moment. 

If we ask God to draw near to us because He said He’d never leave nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), then He’s already present. Our requests can be reframed to “God, help me to experience your nearness.” Motivation helps us to reframe what we long for God to do for us through what He said He would do for us. It reminds us of our birthright. It reminds us of what we will undoubtedly receive because His word won’t return to Him void (Isaiah 55:11). Did you catch it? That was me practicing the component of motivation. 

God wants you to remember who He is. He wants you to see how the desires of your heart align with the promises He has for you. He wants you to know that He is just as deeply invested in your experience of peace, belonging, and joy as you are. Until you dig and discover the truth of who He is, you won’t know that for yourself. 

What Scriptures support the promises of God and the characteristics of who He is that provide evidence for why He should honor your request? 

Application: 

1. Call on God using the sentence from week 1: “ _________, You are here.” 
2. Make your complaint clear to God. 
3. Make your request to God. 
4. Share what His motivation should be for honoring your request. 

Scriptures: Jonah 2:2, Psalms 119:146, Psalms 77:11

To lament, we: 

Communicate Our Confidence. We communicate our confidence in God’s goodness by drawing on the good, beautiful, and kind things He’s done for us in the past. 

Depression, anxiety, and trauma affect our spirit just as much as it does our minds and bodies. It makes it hard for us to remember that we’ve ever had good times by turning up the sound of our deep pain and turning down the memories of the goodness of God we know to be true. On a biological level, persistent mental pain keeps our brain from converting short term memory into long term memory. When we take a moment to talk to friends and ask them how they’ve seen God bless us, we’re pulled out of the emotionally and spiritually toxic cycles that keep us alone and hopeless. 

It’s time to recall God’s goodness to us. It’s time for us to take a moment to remember how God has been kind to us, how He’s given us things we didn’t have the courage to ask for, how He’s provided for us, and how He’s shown us tenderness. Not only does this increase our hope, it reminds us that God is for us. That He’s on our side. This is so powerful because it’s common for our pain to distort our perspective of the goodness of God. Before we know it, we see God and see in Him what we see in the people who have abused, abandoned, and shamed us. 

When we recall God’s goodness, our hearts are softened toward Him, and our hearts and minds shift to a position of gratitude as we prepare for Him to move on our behalf. We are reminded that we are not alone and that God has been moved to do things for us before. He will be moved to do good things for us again. 

Reflect and ask yourself these questions:

• What was the sweetest thing God has done for you? 
• When was the last time you were surprised by God’s goodness? 
• What moment made you believe that God truly loved you? 
• If you asked others how God’s been good to you, what would they say? ( Sometimes taking on other people’s perspective of us helps us see our lives a little clearer) 

It’s important that these experiences are yours. Many of us have been talked into the goodness of God, and many of us have been talked out of that goodness. But no one can talk us out of what we’ve experienced from God. These experiences give us confidence that God will not leave us where we are. 

Application:

1. Call on God using the sentence from week 1: “ _________, You are here.” 
2. Make your complaint clear to God. 
3. Make your request to God. 
4. Share what His motivation should be for honoring your request. 
5. Communicate confidence by remembering God’s goodness.

Scriptures: Psalms 116:2, Psalms 50:15, Psalms 18:3, Psalms 17:6-9, Psalms 27:7-12, Psalms 55:16

Cry Out, Lament

In the last six days we’ve learned how to cry out to God in the midst of our anxiety, depression, and trauma through the spiritual discipline Lament. Today we’re going to make space to combine all we’ve learned and cry out to God. 

You can utilize the components of lament in whatever way most authentically fits how God made you. I’ve utilized lamenting through poetry, simple journaling, songwriting, dancing, and so much more. Neuroscience tells us that when we confess what we feel, the distress we feel in our right brain (responsible for processing emotions) receives calming signals from the left side of the brain (responsible for words, language and meaning). I imagine this is why God urges us through Scripture to call on Him as King David did. 

The practice of lament improves your mental health because it:

• Improves the brain’s ability to utilize emotional imagery. 
• Helps the brain process and resolve physical and emotional pain. 
• Decreases anxiety and depressive symptoms. 
• Improves mood. 
• Improves immune system functioning by decreasing stress. 
• Improves mental clarity. 
• Improves memory. 

It also helps us bear spiritual fruit by making room for us to:

• Worship God in spirit and truth. 
• Develop spiritual insight and perspective. 
• Be child-like before God as He has commanded us to. 
• Demonstrate trust in God’s divine sovereignty and plan. 
• Posture ourselves to be comforted by God. 
• Develop a habit of authentic presence before God as we are. 

Remember that God sees you, is with you, and is eagerly waiting to hear your voice cry out to Him. When you can’t escape the anxiety, shake the depression, or forget the trauma, cry out to God through lament and allow Him to speak to your heart. 

A prayer for your heart and soul:

Dad,

Thank you for your child who took time to learn how to cry out to you in the midst of their anguish, not after it. Lord, thank You that You hear us, that You see us, that You are deeply acquainted with our pain. When we develop the courage to cry out, help us to hear Your clear response to our pain through Your presence that You promise will be with us until the end of this age. Thank You for being with us. Amen