When divorce hits, it feels like the first thing we have lost is our peace. In this plan, we will dissect Philippians 4:4-9 to more fully understand peace and how to maintain it in the future. God is the God of peace and wants you to receive that peace. Join us in Finding Peace.
Brent Papineau
Day 1
Scriptures: Philippians 4:4-5, Psalms 31:7, Psalms 118:24
The Lord is Here
The last thing you would expect to hear someone tell you when you are going through a divorce is to rejoice.
How could I be so insensitive to say that? Am I nuts? Is that any way to help someone looking for an answer on how to heal? How is this going to help me find peace?
In Philippians 4:4, Paul tells us to “Rejoice in the Lord always….”. It doesn’t say rejoice in your situation or in how you feel. It means to have an attitude of contentment in your relationship with Jesus no matter how dark things may seem to be right now. He always wants us to be able to rejoice in Him.
In verse 5, we are told to make our gentleness or reasonableness known to everyone. I know that can be tough to do, but God desires for you to be a reflection of Him.
You are hurting, and some wounds need healing. He is being gentle with you. He is being patient with you, even when you feel like you are missing the mark. He wants us to show the same courtesy to those around us, even those who have caused us pain.
Also, in verse 5, Paul is telling us that the Lord is with us!!! Hallelujah!! You are not alone!! You may have lost a spouse, your best friend, family, children, and even other relationships, but the God who created you is here with you.
Interestingly, the verse says, “…is at hand”. Part of me sees this as an invitation of a hand reaching out to grab your hand. He wants to lift you up and touch you in a way that brings comfort with enough strength to take another step.
Take a few moments and ask yourself, can I rejoice in the Lord? Do I see and feel Him gently comforting me while trying to make sense of it all? Am I fully aware that He has not left me or forsaken me in my time of desperation? What thoughts do I need to change?
It has been almost 20 years, but I can still remember being right where you are, desperate for God to move and just bring me a small measure of peace. It hurt so badly, yet I realize now that God gently took my hand. He helped me to stand and led me down the path He wanted me to walk.
As you continue through this plan, God wants you to see Him as your joy and support. He desires to be there in every area so you can have the peace you desperately need to move forward. At the end of our time together, you will see how God will use all of these actions to lead you with His peace.
Day 2
Scriptures: Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:25-26
Don’t Be Anxious
Divorce causes us to deal with so many issues and feelings that it is hard not to be anxious. Yet, Paul, in Philippians 4:6, tells us not to be anxious about anything.
This tells me we have a choice not to worry about the cares of this world. It leads us to ask the question, “How can we do that?”.
Let’s keep reading.
1) in everything — not just surrounding your divorce, but everything in your life
2) pray — our intimate communication with God
3) plead humbly — with a surrendered heart, asking boldly
4) with thanksgiving — knowing that God is your provider, being thankful for what you have already
5) make your requests known — ask the One who can do anything
It is great to pray when you are in a valley, but God wants you to bring your whole life to Him, your everything. Divorce is a season, it is not who you are. Your life is much more than what you are walking through now. Bring it all to Him.
True and honest communication with the Father is what He desires. Be mad. Be sad. Be numb. It is ok. He loves you no matter what is going on right now. Just spend some quiet time with Him and allow time to be still. God will reveal things to you during your prayer times if you let Him.
Supplication means to plead humbly. It speaks of desperation, persistence, and consistency with a heart of humility. If you scream requests to God demanding He do something your way and in your timing, please hear me: If your kids acted like that to you, how would you feel?
Giving thanks to God is actually a sacrifice for us. In our flesh, we have to acknowledge God’s goodness and grace to be thankful. A gratitude posture opens our ability to receive even greater blessings than God has already given us.
It may not feel like you are being blessed this season, but you can look back and see times when God has protected, provided for, healed, loved, encouraged, and watched you. If you need to, take a few moments to find 5-10 things you can give God thanks for today. If God only blessed what you gave Him thanks for yesterday, how would your today look?
Ask God. Keep asking. God already knows what you need. Are you willing to ask Him for it? Have you heard the saying, “You miss every shot you don’t take”? How can you expect a victory if you don’t try to score? God is the greatest request-granter. You may just score a victory in a way you weren’t expecting.
Finding peace is not a recipe. A person called Jesus just wants you to come with a humble desire to have a true relationship with Him. No need to be anxious, just humble and real.
Day 3
Scriptures: Philippians 4:7, Romans 15:13, Galatians 6:16
God’s Protection
When we are in difficult seasons, it can feel like we are being attacked from all sides. From well-meaning friends and family to half-interested lawyers and counselors, you might be looking for protection for yourself and all that you have lost. These people may mean well, but you can have the greatest protection if you are willing to seek it out.
Philippians 4:7 says the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. Guard it against what?
I believe that we have no clue how many and what kind of schemes the enemy sends against us when we are struggling. This is why we need the peace of God. His peace will allow us to gain wisdom, rest, and strength to withstand the attacks coming against us.
God’s peace surpasses all understanding. We will never know exactly why, so don’t waste your time and effort trying to figure it out. That is what faith is for, to put God in the correct place of leadership over our whole life. He wants you to trust that He has this divorce and you in His hands.
It is not meant to be fully understood by our human minds. If we could understand it, we wouldn’t need God. Just taking a few minutes to read the bible, pray, and read this short reading plan shows me that you desire to understand things a little more. That is ok; just know that God surpasses any knowledge and understanding you will ever acquire.
Our hearts and minds are what truly need God’s protecting peace during these times. Crazy thoughts that we never expected can come flooding over us at times, causing our hearts to lose hope and break even more. Our hearts will hurt so badly that we will let our minds go nuts thinking about actions and directions that can lead us down a path to destruction. Let God’s peace place boundaries and borders around your heart and mind.
All of this is done through Christ Jesus. He is our peace. He is the Prince of Peace. He came to earth to bring peace to our relationship with our Father God. He now wants to be the One to guard your heart and mind on this journey to healing.
Just remember, it isn’t meant to be figured out. Peace is meant to be experienced and received from our loving Savior, Jesus. Let Him be your protector today. Ask Him to fully protect your heart and mind right now.
But there is more…
Day 4
Scriptures: Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Romans 12:2
Think Correctly
God desires us to think clearly and have the right mindset, especially in hard times. Thinking correctly according to God’s will shows us that we are open to His guidance and direction. It gives us a starting point on how to move forward from where we are to where He wants us to go.
In Philippians 4:8, we are told what our thoughts should be: truth, honor, justice, purity, loving, admiration, excellence, worthy of praise. These are what should occupy our minds. The opposite thoughts of these: lies, dishonorable, lawlessness, sinful, hateful, demeaning, mediocrity, disgraceful. What kind of thoughts are you thinking?
We all fall into times when our thoughts are not what they should be. That is why God calls us to renew our minds and take every thought captive. Our minds wander off to seek conclusions that usually are never even possible. They stray from making us think the worst about situations. Don’t go there.
Our minds are the battlefields for our souls. We decide if there is a battle today at that very moment. We can choose to think positively about the things of God or let those thoughts from the enemy affect our very spiritual, mental, and physical health.
The next time you have some crazy thought, take it captive right away. You have been given that authority. USE IT!! Now close your eyes and lift that thought up in your mind to Jesus and ask Him, “Jesus, is this thought (—-whatever it is—) from you?” Wait for a moment. If this thought is not a thought mentioned in verse 8, I suggest you just throw it away. Do it physically if you have to. Sometimes, I talk to my thoughts and tell them to go back to hell where they came from. Give it a try. It may work for you too.
Your thought-life will do more to determine where you are in 6, 12, and 60 months in the future than almost anything else. The more you think about what God wants you to dwell upon, the more you will feel God’s love and peace each day.
Just because a thought comes to you doesn’t mean that you are sinful or failing. The enemy will bombard us with thoughts from every angle. Sometimes those thoughts might even make sense. It is at that moment when we have the choice to capture it. Is this a thought we should be dwelling on and spending time thinking about? Does it honor God? Does it show love to others? Is it a lie?
Take the thought captive and take it to God. The more you do this, the more you will recognize and discern which thoughts are those you can just through away. You can do this.
Be ready for attacks against your mind. Those are just flaming arrows. They only do long-term damage if you let them stay and burn in the walls of peace that are there to protect you. Do your part to pluck them out.
Day 5
Scriptures: Philippians 4:9, 2 Peter 1:2, James 1:22
Time to Act
What good is taking the time to read, listen, and learn to find peace and not take action on what God has told you to do?
I am confessing to you that I should have written this plan 2 years ago when God told me to do it. I have been treading water in my relationship with God because of my disobedience in many ways. You are the reason I wrote this plan. God wanted me to give it to you.
I tell you this to help you to move forward. Don’t waste this precious life God has given you!!
Philippians 4:9 tells us to take action on what He has told us to do. We have learned, received, heard, and seen what we need to do. Now it is up to you. You came here for peace. It is waiting for you.
Paul tells us to practice all of these things, everything from verses 4-8. There is a lifetime of wisdom in just those few words.
I have experienced God’s unexplainable, overwhelming peace. I have looked back at both of my divorces to see them for what they are; my failures being healed by HIs unsurpassed and unbelievable love. I can describe them in a thousand different ways, but this is truly how God wants me to explain these seasons of my life.
If I would have never walked with Jesus down His path of healing, my life today would be so different. It would be pathetic and meaningless. The healing and peace God has for you are worth every heartbreak, every pain, and every sleepless night. It is worth every tear, feeling, and thought that has led you to this moment.
Paul tells us to practice these things. If you know anything about sports, you know how valuable practice is to be able to perform on game day. When you practice, you are gaining confidence and strength. You are learning ways to handle adversity and succeed. You make mistakes as you go, but fewer mistakes and more successes as you continue to stretch yourself each and every day.
It takes persistence and consistency to see progress. Keep going. You are getting stronger every time you take a thought captive, humbly pray, and seek the peace giver, Jesus.
Take a few minutes to ask God what He wants you to do right now. Is it to think differently? Is it to show gentleness to someone else? Is it to rejoice even if you don’t feel like rejoicing?
I can’t wait for the moment when you will look back and are able to see how God has walked with you during this season. Eventually you walk with His peace that surpasses all understanding as you continue to grow closer to the healing He has for you. Some day you will be able to look back at this time in the valley and give God glory for all He has done in and through you.
Now, take action. Practice. Be humble. Rejoice. Pray. The God of peace is with you!! Be blessed!!