Encouragement, often expressed as “a word fitly spoken” (Prov. 25:11), an arm around the shoulder, or a warm hug, can be of tremendous benefit to our children. Such gestures serve as a balm for their hearts in a hurt of the moment or for instilling long-term confidence for addressing the challenges of life. Let’s consider examples of where we can find it and how it can be demonstrated.Dr. James Dobson Family Institute
Day 1
Scriptures: Psalms 119:74, Psalms 1:1-2, 1 Corinthians 10:6
Our Source of Hope
I have put my hope in your word.
Psalm 119:74
Encouragement can come from many sources, but the foundation of our strength and hope is always the unchangeable Word of God. For centuries, families have depended on the truth of Scripture to guide them in matters of faith, in the nuances of daily life, and during times of trouble. The Bible provides encouragement for the trials of today as we anticipate the joy of the hereafter.
The apostle Paul, no stranger to adversity, said to the Roman church, “Everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” (Romans 15:4). David, one of the great heroes of the Bible, also faced many hardships (some of his own making). In these times of distress, he repeatedly turned to the Lord and His laws for deliverance: “May your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me” (Psalm 40:11–12). The Psalms, in fact, are wonderful examples of praise and inspiration for moments of fear, insecurity, or doubt.
In our struggles as parents and as Christians, we would be wise to choose God’s Word as our first option for lifting our spirits. It contains the blessed hope that brings meaning to every thought and every moment.
Before you say good night . . .
- What Bible verses are most encouraging to you? (See Psalm 46:1; 55:17; Luke 12:32; John 3:16.)
- Would it encourage your children if you helped them memorize Scripture?
Lord, we confess our deep and constant need for Your Word. Forgive us for depending on our own strength and wisdom—for seeking encouragement in so many shallow and unsatisfying ways. Draw us back into Scripture that sustains us in every challenge we face. Amen.
Excerpted from Night Light for Parents, used with permission.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners,nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. (Ps. 1:1-2, ESV)
Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did . . . Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. (1 Cor. 10:6, 11, ESV)
Day 2
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 13:7, Galatians 5:22
Tryout Day
Encourage one another and build each other up.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
An encouraging word is welcome at any time, but is needed most of all after a disappointment or failure. That’s why Scripture instructs us to “encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). I (JCD) am reminded of a story about Joy, a twelve-year-old who had her heart set on making the school cheerleading squad. She practiced cheers, cartwheels, and toe-touches for weeks. Yet on tryout day, Joy’s best effort still fell short. She was crushed.
Joy’s mother had been traveling at the time. When she returned, she asked, “Joy, how did tryouts go?” “I lost,” Joy answered quietly. “Really?” said her mother. She put her arms around her daughter. “Well, Joy, I am so proud of you for working so very hard, and then for having the courage to go out there and try!” The change in Joy’s expression was immediate.
If Joy’s mother had showed the slightest disappointment or embarrassment, Joy would have felt even worse. Emotions are contagious. We tend to “catch” the reactions of those around us and incorporate their highs and lows in our own spirits.
Your children are at their most vulnerable when they endure a terrible hurt or setback. Your attention and thoughtfulness during these moments can lessen the pain and bring you closer to your kids. Like Joy’s mother, you may even find the silver lining that turns disappointment into triumph.
Before you say good night . . .
- Do you try to turn around disappointments in your family?
- What “encouragement strategies” can you deploy?
Lord Jesus, we need eyes like Yours—eyes that see opportunities to bring comfort out of pain, light out of darkness, hope out of despair. Open our eyes and hearts, Lord, so that we might walk our children through these years. Amen.
Excerpted from Night Light for Parents, used with permission.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13:7, ESV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness . . . (Gal. 5:22, ESV)
Day 3
Scriptures: Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 33:20-21, Isaiah 26:3-4
Trust Him
Trust in the Lord with all your heart . . . and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5–6
When the decision was made years ago to move Focus on the Family from Arcadia, California, to Colorado Springs, I knew it was a positive change for the ministry—yet I did not welcome it with enthusiasm. I felt I needed the support system we had developed in California. Our friends there saw us not as ministry leaders, but as just “Jim and Shirley.” We’d been in one another’s weddings and had babies together. For years we’d had them over to celebrate the Fourth of July with barbecued hamburgers and games in our backyard. I grieved to leave this safe and loving circle of friends, and to say good-bye to my parents and both of our children.
In Colorado, I continued to wrestle with feeling sorry for myself and missing home, family, and friends. Yet I still prayed for the Lord’s direction. One day I was standing in the bathroom preparing for work when I felt His presence. “Shirley,” He seemed to say, “I’m not concerned about your happiness; I’m concerned that you are in My will, and My will is that you be in Colorado.”
From that point on, a new peace filled my heart. The lingering feelings of discontent left me. Though I still miss my roots and friends, I now can see God’s hand in it all. I have stretched and grown in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Over the years my old friends have moved, too. Only a few of those couples still live in that area of California, and we see our family almost as often now as before.
When you are discouraged about your kids, your career, your lack of friends, or anything else, don’t let it stop you from speaking to God. He will encourage you as you seek Him: “I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5).
The Lord may not answer you as specifically as He did after my move to Colorado. He may not give you the answer you want at all. Yet He loves you and always responds with your best interests in mind. That’s encouragement you can count on.
SMD
Excerpted from Night Light for Parents, used with permission.
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. (Ps. 33:20-21, ESV)
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. (Is. 26:3-4, ESV)