Friends R Us

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Ecclesiastes 4:12

We All Need Friends

Solomon shared a piece of wisdom with us when he wrote, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. ‭‭(Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭NLT‬‬)” Oftentimes, we hear this verse used in relation to marriage. However, the context of this verse references a man who works hard with no one to share his earnings with. It talks about the importance of having someone to experience and enjoy life with. Friends can, and should, be that support! 

So, we pray as you read each day of this devotion your appreciation and value of friendship and community heightens. We pray that you are able to accept the wisdom and support of those who love you. We ask that God strengthens your ability to see as He sees, allowing you to appreciate the benefits of healthy and God-given relationships. We believe, the Spirit of God will allow you to nurture the good friendships you have, and trust the Holy Spirit will help with the ones that are tough. We believe, God will use this devotion to strengthen your community, and remind you that you are not meant to do life alone.

Written by Shammrie and Imani Brown

Scriptures: Proverbs 4:23, Hebrews 10:24, Exodus 20:17

Friendstagram

Social Media is a good way to stay up to date on activities of friends and family. Now this is not a devotional to tell you that social media is bad or good. However, in the context of friendship, social media often has a way of revealing what is in our hearts. Have you ever glanced at a friend’s post and thought to yourself, “how did they get that?” or “why didn’t this happen to me?” These small comparisons can invite jealousy and envy into our hearts. 

The state of our heart is important in friendship. It is difficult to be jealous or envious of someone, and continue to have a genuine friendship with them. Eventually, these feelings will seep into the friendship and potentially ruin it. Therefore, it is crucial for us to guard our hearts. 

In Exodus 20:17, we are commanded by God not to covet anything that belongs to our neighbor. What Social media does is put the “thing” you may covet 6 inches from your face and says, “don’t you want this?” Then, we think about what we have or don’t have in comparison to our friends. Comparison then causes division, and creates a space for the enemy to sabotage our friendship(s). But… what if we made a conscious effort to celebrate with our friends and encourage them, instead of coveting what they have? What if we thought of ways to show our support for whatever achievement(s) they share? It is possible! By liking their status or photo and writing a heartfelt comment, we are able to refuse covetousness in the moment and choose celebration! 

So, next time you see a post that causes jealousy or envy to enter your heart, pause and ask God to remove those feelings from your heart. After you pray,  shame the devil by celebrating your friend(s)! Lastly,  always examine the state of your heart. Always protect your friendships by combating those negative thoughts and feelings with the word of God and prayer. Remember, your friends are not your competition— you all are on the same team! 

Written by Jamaal Diggins and Shammrie Brown

Scriptures: Job 2:11-13, Job 16:21

I’ll Be There

Have you ever had a friend go through a hardship  and  wondered, “what should I do?” Or, “what can I do?” We would like to suggest that you simply… be there. Those two words pack a punch, but how exactly can we be there for our friends? We offer three ways to be there for friends.

Physically

There are times that we can call and text when something is wrong. However,  there are times that our friends need our physical presence. As we read the book of Job, it explains how Job’s friends failed in their words, yet, their commitment to friendship was shown through their presence.. They knew the power of simply being there for their friend by sitting with him for seven days, saying nothing. Their presence was Job’s support.

Emotionally

Being there for someone emotionally involves empathizing with that person, being willing to comfort and encourage him or her. While my wife was going through a rough time in her life in which she was suicidal, our friends helped us carry this burden. When we cried, they didn’t judge us, they let us get it all out. They comforted us back to a healthy place. They were willing to sacrifice their time and energy to make sure that she would never return to back to that state again. 

Spiritually 

Sometimes,  when people tell us about their issues we say, “Oh I will pray for you” but do we ever actually pray for that person? Job cries out in the midst of his trial that someone would plead for him. As my wife and I faced that emotional battle, we had friends that would get on the phone with us to plead with God and cry out when we did not have the strength to do so ourselves. We made it through trying times because of friends that would passionately pray to God concerning us. As you continue to build friendships and community, remember the power of simply being there physically, emotionally and spiritually for one another. Also, be sure to allow your friends to be there for you.

Written by Jamaal and Terria Diggins

Scriptures: James 1:19, Psalms 133:1

Diversity: Celebrating Differences

I am a person who would be identified as Caucasian and I share friendships with individuals of various ethnic groups (Thai, Indian, Latino, African American, etc.).  I started out very prideful thinking my love for people was good enough and I didn’t need to learn or understand anything. One word quickly repeated… “LISTEN.”   Listening is important when building relationships cross-culturally.  In my relationships,  I was corrected for things I said that were implied racist.  

As I entered communities that I didn’t, by my ethnicity, “belong to” I began to experience and see their world. I had to listen. I had to stop believing the statement, “because I love everybody I understand everything.”  As I began to listen, I learned.  I found value in their differences that makes me a stronger and a more mature friend. I also learned through God’s word. 

In the Book of Acts Chapter 10, we see a glimpse of God’s heart when Peter, a Jew, is sent to Cornelius, a Gentile, by God and learns that God does NOT show favoritism BUT accepts people from every nation.  This scripture helped me realize, when Christ is doing His ministry in the earth He is not only selecting and ministering to people who share His upbringing or background.  

Prayer:  God thank you for friendships, for differences, for unity and for the example Christ set.  Come now and help me to see my strengths and the strengths of my friends.  Help me to encourage, to listen, to correct and to share life with my community.  Give me discernment on who to bring close and when and what to share.  In Jesus Name I surrender this to you in faith.  

Written by Lindsay McDonnell 

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 3:1, John 10:10

Please, Have Fun!

In today’s modern world we can easily get caught up in the routines of life. Rather that be work, school, caring for others, or serving in our communities. Getting caught up in these cycles doesn’t give much time for play. Entertain me for a second… Remember when you told yourself, “when I get a ‘good job’ I’m going to take big trips somewhere fun?” Now, busy schedules have forced us to put fun at the bottom of our to do list.

It’s important for every soul to have an outlet – an activity that is simply for enjoyment. Many of us find pleasure in serving in a ministry, but even that requires a level of work, task, and commitment. We should search for task-free and commitment-free activities. Going out to dance is a great example. It is a care free activity and does not require a goal to be met. It requires shutting down the computer, silencing the phone, and not being afraid to break free from the work bubble.

Our God allowed everything that He created to take a break. For example, the day breaks and night comes. The heat of Summer breaks and the cool of Autumn follows. Energy fuels our bodies but eventually it runs out, and even we need a break. It is impossible for us to stay healthy in these cycles without the rejuvenation and break that pure FUN brings! John 10:10 says, “The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly”. So have fun abundantly. There’s always going to be life demands, so let’s start demanding life – and please have fun!

Written by Phillip and Jenil Bennett

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 14:40, Matthew 6:33, Psalms 119:133

Work Life Balance 

In 2016, I was offered a job I had been praying for. I took a leap of faith and packed up enough stuff for a one bedroom apartment and drove 16 hours to the state of Georgia from the state of Illinois. In 2017, I received a telephone call from my only child informing me she was pregnant. I was not happy with this telephone call, but as I spoke to her with disappointment, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Only God gives life; yet in her sin, I am still with her because you continuously pray for her.” This changed my entire perspective regarding the news my daughter shared with me. Later on, my daughter came to visit me and, long story short, she never left. In 2018, my daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I am now juggling working, taking care of my daughter, granddaughter, serving in ministry as well as keeping connected with friends who live in various states.

How do I balance it all? It is truly by the grace of God. One powerful lesson that I have learned in this Christian walk is that everything needs to be done decently and in order. In 1 Corinthians 14: 40 (NCV) it is written,  “But let everything be done in a right and orderly way.” When I wake up in the morning, I spend quiet time with God to start my day. I may read a devotion, listen to worship music, google some scriptures, or listen to a sermon. Starting my day with God orders my steps for the day. In Matthew 6: 33 (NCV) it is written,  “Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well.” I want to encourage you to begin your day with God. Take time to spend quiet time with the Lord. There is no required time frame; so, start off with how much time you are comfortable doing. God wants to be your friend, and He waits to hear from you every day about everything that concerns you. Pray this scripture and watch God change the trajectory of your life, Psalms 119: 133 (NCV) “Guide my steps as you promised; don’t let any sin control me.” In Jesus name, with the help of the Holy Spirit,  Amen.

Written by Dr. Ta-Tanisha Essex

Scripture: Romans 12:6-8

Gifts and Talents

You were given a gift from God to help others. That’s right, God gave you a supernatural ability to encourage someone or heal someone by laying your hands on them. Or He may have given you the ability to sing or teach. In life, we all have moments when we are discouraged or facing a hard time. Unfortunately, everyone can’t be happy and successful at the same time all the time. That’s why God gave us gifts. He desires for us to use them to help our friends, families or strangers.

If you have a gift, use it. If you don’t know what your gift is, ask God to show you. Chances are, you have been using it without knowing. If you are in need of help, don’t close yourself off, allow others to use their gift to help make your situation better.

When my wife and I lost our child to early childbirth, we were sad and discouraged. However, God gave us friends and family with different gifts to help us get through our tough time. For example, two of our friends who are married came and used their gift of serving to help us prepare food . After we ate, they used their gift of encouragement to speak positive words to us. They told us things like, “ It’s going to be alright,” and “ you both are strong!” These words settled in our hearts and encouraged us. On the next day we had a friend come over who could sing. She came and made us breakfast and then played a song that she specifically made for us. It touched our heart and lifted the heaviness off of us. We were granted peace from her song. Later on, our sister cooked for us and spent quality time with us. She had the gift of giving. There are countless moments that our friends, family and strangers used their God given gifts to help us. We hope you allow your gift to be used and receive it from others. 

Written by Shammrie and Imani Brown

Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 8:14-15, Genesis 2:18

It Takes A Village 

Hi Reader! I don’t know where you are in life as you read this devotional, but I want to talk about parenting and depending on your friends for support. There are so many cycles of parenthood. I’m not sure how you feel, but just when I think I have got this parenting thing down, my kid or my life takes on new wings, and I find myself caught in the throws of trying to figure it all out again. If you are anything like me, you end up trying to do as much as you possibly can in your own strength. You want to be strong for your family and friends. If you are in the workforce, you want to make a good impression on your job. While all of those things can be good, you might be on the cusp of burn out. 

Your strength is not in question. You have proven time and time again that you are capable and well equipped to withstand the blows that life can bring your way. The item that is in question is your need to be connected to others. God did not intend for us to walk alone. 2 Corinthians 8:14-15 NLT says, “Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal.” 

What I love about the preceding verse is that community is designed to help support the ebb and flow of life. When you have a lot to give whether that is of your time, emotions, prayers, or helping hands, your extended family can benefit. When the tide changes, you can lean into their strength for you. Your community, family, friends, church crew, etc are there to walk with you. We all need help to make it in this life. Reach out and let others help you carry the load. It takes a village. 

Written By Meghan Rice 

Scriptures: Philippians 4:11, Proverbs 27:17, Psalms 119:99, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Relationship Status

I have had two circles of friends in my adult life, both times I was the lone single lady in a circle of marriages. For years this never bothered me.  I never felt the differences when we were all together. OK. Well, maybe when the conversations turned to their marriages and I didn’t have one to speak on.  However, in those moments, I never felt excluded.  

As you establish community with others who have a different relationship status from yours don’t exclude them from that area of your life.  James 1:5 says if you lack wisdom ask and God will give generously.  There is a wisdom and knowledge you can receive from God  as a single person with married friends. So, married people don’t hide your marriage from your single or married friends. Psalm 119:99 says, “I learn from the testimonies of my teachers.” Therefore,   share the reality of marriage and let your married or single friends learn from your testimony.  You never know when your words will stick and help your friend as they experience something you shared on and your words will get them through, keep them from, or heal them in a situation.  

In my community of friends, I have had the privilege of walking through some tough times. Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another.”  We need each other to grow.  I see in our circle that we rely on each other.  I will have days/moments I am frustrated that I am still single and I don’t feel noticed by guys, and that perhaps God forgot about this desire of mine.  On those days, I am able to reach out to my community and let them know I am struggling.  They encourage me and offer hope for the day I am seen. Also, they will share scriptures and pray for me.  When the married friends have something to celebrate or maybe are experiencing a challenging time in their relationship it’s reciprocated.  As a result of these friendships, I have been afforded a fuller picture of how to do marriage successfully.  

Prayer:  Father God, thank you for my friendships.  Thank you for the gift of marriage and being single.  I pray now that you help me in forming community to be open, and grant me wisdom as we walk out marriages or single-hood.  Let us pick each other up and cover one another’s relationships.  In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Written by Lindsay McDonnell

Scriptures: Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 18:24, Colossians 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Merging Generations 

Sometimes, managing age differences in relationships can have difficult challenges. But, the results are always good. My husband and I are 73 and 62 years old. We have children in their 40s and 30s.  Majority of our church population is 35 years old or younger. We are often the elders in our family and community. Some people would ask the question, “Does the age of your community matter?” Our response is no; however, there are differences that can be challenging.

Language Differences

Sometimes, when things are said within our community, we misunderstand one another  because of language differences. What was said in the 1970s and 80s is not always how it’s said in 2018. There are new words and phrases for the words and phrases we used in the past. In our opinion, Millennials are more effective at speaking to one another than they are to older generations. For example, we may desire a phone call to hear their voices, but they prefer to send a text message. Abbreviations like “LOL” or “HBU?” are things we never heard in the 70s and 80s. However, in order to connect, we have to learn what’s new, what’s “poppin.” In our community, we aim to meet in the middle, they call us and we text them. The results are good. 

 Can We Relate to Their Suffering? 

Sometimes, we choose to go out of our comfort zone to learn and help our family and friends with their afflictions. We have learned, despite our age difference, suffering is suffering and love and respect for one another will help us be there for those in our community. We pray that you don’t let your age hold you back from being a great friend. Remember, the results are always good! 

Written by Junior and Rhonda Burks