Several years ago, cancer took the life of my sister and left our family devastated. The heartbreak was unbearable. We were overwhelmed in our grief by what seemed like unanswered prayers. Loss is real, and the agony from loss is certain. Through this four-day plan, I pray you will come to trust God through your heartache and allow Him to sustain you.
Entrusted Women
Day 1
Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Psalms 147:3
ACCEPTING THE LOSS
In the darkness of a quiet hospital room, my family sat waiting. Days had passed as we awaited the inevitable. Then we stood in disbelief as our sister took one last breath. Her time to depart had arrived. Her death was the saddest day of our lives.
I knew the outcome of what we were about to face, and I thought I had prepared myself. But in that moment, I realized that nothing could equip me for the destruction our hearts would experience. Knowing that my sisterʻs time was limited didn’t lessen the reality of the blow once it happened. That day left us devastated and grief-stricken in countless ways.
The excruciating reality of losing her left us with difficult hardships to endure. We felt as though our prayers had not been answered, and we were left to wonder why.
It is imminent that we will experience death in our lives, including those we cherish. There is just no way to escape the grief that naturally follows death. That despair can lead us to ask questions such as, “Why us?” and “Why now?” I found myself frustrated as I wrestled intensely with the question, “What next?”
The struggle to answer our questions is dependent on what we are willing to surrender to God. My anguish led me back to my belief that God can do good work in any amount of suffering. I think this is what the apostle Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 12:9–– “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul knew anguish and he struggled too.
Understanding that I wasn’t alone helped me as I tried to make sense of it all. I recognized my need to own my weakness and resolved that I could only move forward in God’s strength and not my own.
With any loss we have experienced, God can restore us in our grief. He can bring healing to our sadness. (Psalm 147:3)
● What deep sorrow is sitting at the edge of your heart?
● Journal to God asking Him to guide you in your pain.
Day 2
Scriptures: Luke 24:44, Psalms 34:18
PROCESSING THE PAIN
Unfathomable pain stirred in my heart when I lost my sister. That pain showed up in ways I didn’t see coming. There was an overload of emotional episodes happening within me.
I distinctly recall becoming so angry that I would scream. I remember putting a pillow over my face and yelling as loud as I could. I took my fist and hurled it into the cushion of the headboard. I threw things across the room in frustration. Most times, I was so sad that all I could do was cry. The unpredictability of my feelings left me frightened.
Some days, the people around me bore the brunt of it all. My challenge became not allowing sorrow to consume the remaining days of my life. Instead, I had to make the daily choice to get up and keep going. Continuing on was difficult to do.
I was encouraged to recall the times when Jesus was intense in how He felt. He overturned tables in the synagogue and wept at the loss of His friend Lazarus. Luke 22:44 describes Jesus’ anguish as He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood. Jesus was both God and man, and He displayed emotions. Jesus’ response to what he was experiencing still left him without fault. We are challenged and encouraged to not offend in our actions. It’s tough to do and requires us to ask God to guide us in our thoughts and responses.
God knows when we are downcast and need to release what is happening inside of us. God gave us our emotions, and it’s ok to let them out. When we need to cry or be sad, angry, or frustrated, God will accept it from us.
I don’t know what your grief story is, but I know our grief can be a daily battle. We are not abandoned in our heartache. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and He saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18) We can get up and we can keep going by trusting that God can see us through, one day at a time.
● What emotions are you wrestling with that are keeping you from experiencing peace?
● Journal to God asking Him to help you work through your feelings.
Day 3
Scriptures: Proverbs 3:5, Romans 8:28
RELYING ON PRAYER
I deeply wanted to maintain my faith in God, but I struggled with feeling like God had failed me. As a family, we had fully relied on prayer. But now what were we supposed to pray for? The prayers to spare my sister’s life didn’t come to fruition, so why pray anymore?
When I dwelt on my unanswered prayers it was especially difficult. My outrage grew. I had to search my heart and realign it with what I knew about prayer. I knew that God always answers our prayers, although it may not be in the way we desire. I had to trust God even when I didn’t understand (Proverbs 3:5).
We prayed for healing and more time, yet that is not what we received. Death was not the answer we wanted, but it was an answer to prayer. Death is so final.
Each day feels like a greater struggle than the day before. In our struggle with death, we can keep talking to God. We don’t have to give up on talking to Him just because our prayers were not answered in the way we wanted.
He hears us, even when the answer isn’t what we hope for. We can cling to the truth that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
● How has God’s goodness been evident to you during a difficult time?
● Journal three ways God has shown His goodness to you.
Day 4
Scripture: Luke 22:42
RECEIVING GOD’S FAITHFULNESS
When deep sorrow overwhelms me, I am reminded Jesus understands pain to its fullest extent. God knew we would have sorrow. His heart is for us to not have to endure it alone. His plan to comfort and restore us came through His Son, Jesus.
Jesus knew He was the Savior of the world, and He knew going to the cross had to be done. Still, Jesus cried out to God, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42) Jesus asked, and God was faithful to answer in a way we may not understand.
Jesus submitted to His suffering in obedience, and God was with Him at every step. God is with us too. Jesus’ obedience to endure the pain of the cross serves as an example to us. There are times when we will succumb to the anguish and we will need help. Jesus advocates on our behalf as One who has suffered and knows.
If we are willing to relinquish it to Jesus, we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. We don’t have to stay in the darkness of our sorrow. We can live in the truth that after the darkness, there was light, and in the light, there was hope. Jesus is our hope.
● What burden do you need Jesus to help you carry?
● Journal a note of thanks to Jesus thanking Him for His sacrifice for you.