Habits

Scriptures: Romans 7:15-25, 2 Timothy 1:7, Galatians 6:9, Romans 6:6-7

Healthy Identity

We all want good daily habits. But instead we do things like sleep in, get to work late, get home late, yell at the kids, eat or drink “just one more,” and check our email in bed. 

So, how do we start breaking bad habits and start making good habits? Isn’t there just a simple three-step plan that will set me free? Not really. But there is hope, and God’s Word is full of it. 

Life.Church pastor, Craig Groeschel, says one of the biggest reasons people fail to keep good habits and break bad ones is because our distorted identity sabotages our success. This brings up the first letter in the HABITS acronym we’ll use as we discover a better way to make and break habits: healthy identity. 

Often when we’re ready to start something new or get rid of a bad habit, we make a plan based on what we’ll do. Instead we need to start with goals based on who our God is and who we want to be. Saying, “I’m going to run a marathon,” is based on what you want to do. Saying, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and by God’s strength I want to become a runner,” is based on who God is and who you desire to become. This is an identity-based goal. We need to put who before do. 

Identity goals are one aspect of discovering a healthy identity. The next bit of freedom comes with digging into past hurts, lies you’ve believed, unforgiveness, mistakes, and life situations that may have brought you to believe in a version of yourself that may not be who God made you to be. As you discover the lies, you’ll want to replace them with God’s truth from His Word. A healthy identity based on what God says about you is the foundation for breaking bad habits and making good ones.

For example, too many of us have believed a lie like, “I’ll always be this way.” That’s an identity-based fear that needs an identity-based truth like, “The Spirit of God didn’t give me fear. He gave me power, love, and self-control!” What are some of your identity-based lies that you can replace with God’s truth? 

Pray: God, what are the habits I need to break? What are some deeper parts of my identity that may be leading to these habits? Holy Spirit, I need Your power to make these changes. Amen!

Scriptures: Hebrews 10:24-25, James 4:2, James 1:2-6, James 5:13-20

Ask for Help

Yesterday we talked about finding healthy identity in God’s truth about you. Today’s letter of HABITS may be one of the most important, because it’s vital to all of the rest: ask for help. 

In the book of Hebrews—the letter the Apostle Paul wrote to Jews who were following Jesus—Paul suggested that neglecting to get together with other believers is not just the lack of a good habit, but actually the presence of a bad habit.  

The original Greek word used for “habit” in Hebrews 10:24-25 is éthos which implies something that’s become a custom, that may even be prescribed by law or otherwise. Habits are always a prescription for something. Good habits, like becoming a part of a faith community, are good medicine. Bad habits, like isolating ourselves when we’re struggling, are a prescription for further pain and despair. 

For instance, you will need today’s letter (ask for help) to make any significant progress with yesterday’s letter: healthy identity. Most of the hidden and deeper identity struggles we face will only come out as we engage in conversation with people we trust, counselors, pastors, spouses, and the God we trust. 

Have you made the habit of neglecting to be in community with others? That’s okay. The prescription is simple: ask for help. But don’t just ask for help once. Make a custom of getting together regularly to share openly with people who are following Christ. 

Ask yourself: Who will I talk to about the habits I’m trying to make and break? What will I tell them? When will I talk with them?

Scriptures: Matthew 22:37-40, Psalms 32:1-5, Philippians 3:12-14

Be Kind to Yourself

The day you decide to get serious about making good daily habits is the day you step out of the “perfection zone.” This brings up today’s letter: be kind to yourself. On the day that you fail to keep up with your new habit, be kind to yourself. 

Don’t give into negative self-talk and self-hatred. Cling to God’s truth and the healthy identity He’s been restoring in you. Take this as an opportunity to dig a little deeper into whatever the bigger issue is. Spend some more time reflecting on your healthy identity and asking people you trust for help. 

Maybe you’ve already slipped up. Maybe you haven’t yet. Either way, ask God, and maybe some people, for forgiveness. Then, view this as an opportunity for growth, deeper healing, and another chance to reinforce a good daily habit that stands up to all sorts of difficulty. Just like when you get a cold and your immune system gets stronger, this is an opportunity for the self-control that God gave you to grow and get stronger.

Jesus commanded us to love God with everything we’ve got and love others as we love ourselves. These are referred to as the two greatest commandments. But really, there’s a third hidden in there. To love others as you love yourself, you have to love yourself! So, even if it’s just because Jesus commanded you to, be kind to yourself when you slip up. Don’t give up. Don’t beat yourself up. Just get up, look up, ask for forgiveness, and try again!

Pray: God thank You for Your love that gives me the strength to get it right and grace when I don’t. I need Your help, and I’m trusting You to stick with me even when I miss a step. Amen. 

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 10:13, James 1:12-25, Ephesians 4:22-24, Psalms 26:2

Investigate and Make Changes

Have you started to dig into discovering a healthy identity? Did you come up with some identity-based goals and identity-healing truth from God’s Word? Have you found the right people to ask for help? Maybe you’ve realized that this isn’t so easy, and you’ve slipped up with your new habits—but you remembered to be kind to yourself. What’s the next letter of HABITS? Investigate and make changes.  

What does investigating and making changes have to do with anything? Charles Duhigg, who wrote The Power of Habit, made famous the idea of the “habit loop.” The habit loop consists of cue, routine, and reward. If your habit is overeating before bed, the loop might go like this. Cue: You sit down with your spouse or friends to watch a show and you see a commercial with food. Routine: You go check the fridge and find something tasty. Reward: Your body releases positive chemicals as you eat the food and enjoy your company. The result is a self-perpetuating habit. 

When we’re breaking an old habit or making a new one, we’ll likely run into some serious struggle along the way. Sometimes that struggle has to do with the habit loop. If you’re the person who’s breaking the habit of overeating before bed, you’ll want to make sure you’ve discovered what the cue really is. Maybe it’s not the food commercial, but just the act of watching a show, getting together with friends, or any other number of things that triggers you. You’ll also want to think about your routine. Do you just check the fridge because you’re bored, because it’s ritual, or because you’re truly hungry? The reward is vital. Is it the food or is it the act of sharing food with company that you enjoy? Maybe you’re just nervous when certain people are over, or maybe you eat and watch shows to avoid conversations you need to have with your spouse. 

When we feel like we just can’t break out of the habit loop, let’s stop, investigate, and then make changes. Also, let’s wield the habit loop for making good habits as we develop positive cues, healthy routines, and the right rewards. 

Here’s the thing about making or breaking the habit loop that most books won’t tell you: There is always a way. How do we know? In 1 Corinthians 10:13, the Apostle Paul tells us God is faithful—He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. But when we are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that we can endure it. So let’s investigate, make changes, rely on God, ask people for help, and keep taking the next step as He guides us forward.  

Consider: What are my cues? How can I replace negative cues with positive ones? Where are my routines leading me? What are the rewards of my habit? Are they what God has for me? 

Scriptures: Genesis 1:1-31, Genesis 2:1-3, Proverbs 3:5-8

Trust the God-process

We’ve been talking a lot about habits, but what are they, really? Based on what we’ve learned the last few days, a habit is formed when you consistently meet an important need with a chosen behavior. Habits tend to get a bad rap, but they are actually a process God created. Let’s call them a God-process. This leads to the next letter: trust the God-process. 

The very rhythm of God’s creation story in Genesis is full of good daily habits. This is the first time we see God use processes to create something new, healthy, and good. Sound familiar? God was being habitual! Just in this one story, God illustrated habits of excellence, persistence, asking others for help (Adam named the animals, God said it isn’t good for man to be alone and created Eve), stopping to celebrate what you’ve accomplished (God noted that His work was good each day), and taking a day each week to just rest. As you read the Bible, continue looking for good habits, or God-processes, throughout, and you’ll realize they’re a gift from God. 

We should trust God and trust that God is in the process. He is working something new and beautiful in your life as you discover healthy identity, ask for help, be kind to yourself, investigate, and trust His process. Processes like developing good daily habits are not something we utilize in order to avoid relying on God’s help—they exist because of His help. When we trust God with these daily actions, they become God-processes. On the other hand, without God’s help, all of our best efforts can become a self-salvation project. That kind of do-it-without-God behavior is what got us into messes in the first place! 

Pray: God, I’m thankful for the routines and habits You are helping me to put in place in my life. I can’t do any of this without Your strength, peace, and grace. Help me to continue to rely on You daily. Amen. 

Scriptures: Matthew 21:42, Matthew 7:24-27, Zechariah 4:10, Titus 2:7-8, Psalms 118:20-24

Small Wins

Just like dominoes, making and breaking habits consists of an untold number of daily, doable steps that lead to a huge change. Pastor Craig Groeschel says it simply: “Small disciplines done consistently lead to big results over time.” In other words, small wins matter. 

Habits aren’t grand destinations you arrive at one day—they’re tiny steps you take every day. Some of the most important small wins you can make are often called keystone habits. The fastest way to comprehend keystone habits is to learn what a keystone is. A keystone is an architectural term for the wedge-shaped stone that would sit at the top and center of an arch of bricks or stones. Each stone in the arch pushes its weight toward the keystone, and the triangular shape of the keystone wedge causes the entire arch to be supported. 

If you remove the keystone, the entire structure falls down. In biology, a keystone species is one that an ecosystem depends on. Likewise, a keystone habit provides support and momentum for other habits in your life. 

Most books about habits will tell you about keystone habits, and they should, but what they might not tell you is that there is yet another stone. Jesus called Himself the cornerstone which is a stone used to provide the same kind of support for the entire construction of a building. You can get all your keystone habits right and still come tumbling down if they’re not built on a foundation with Jesus as its cornerstone. 

Here’s a short list of keystone habits to consider. Which can you add to your life? Have you made Jesus the cornerstone?

1. Wake up early enough to start your day with Jesus.
2. Sleep at least eight hours a night. 
3. Eat at least one meal together with your family or close friends each day.
4. Attend a local church weekly, and participate by giving and serving there. 
5. Exercise at least three times a week for at least 20 minutes.
6. Declare some truths about yourself every day. 

Making good daily habits and breaking bad ones is a daily process for the rest of your life. Here’s a helpful tool to take with you as you make Jesus your cornerstone. 

Healthy Identity

Ask for help

Be kind to yourself

Investigate and make changes

Trust the God-process

Small wins