This 5-day devotional helps you cultivate Christlike compassion toward those who have hurt you. Grounded in verses like those found in Colossians 3 and Luke 6, you’ll be challenged to soften your heart, see your family members through God’s eyes, and move toward mercy rather than judgment. Compassion doesn’t excuse wrongdoing but opens the door to understanding and healing. If you’re holding onto anger or struggling to care, this study will guide you toward grace. Start today and let compassion be a channel of God’s healing in your family.
Visionary Family Ministries
Day 1
Scriptures: Matthew 9:3-6, Psalms 56:8
Have you had nights of tossing and turning with anxiety? Have you woken up with your heart racing, overwhelmed by the conflicts and hurt in your family? Consider Psalm 56:8. The Lord is with you! Not one of your “tossings” escapes His attention. The second part of the verse is a metaphor, as David imagines the Lord putting his tears in a bottle. It is a picture of deep compassion.
Jesus, as God’s Son, perfectly reflects the Father’s compassion. In Matthew 9, He looks out at a crowd of lost, sinful souls, and His heart is filled with compassion because they are “sheep without a shepherd.”
As Christ sees us struggling with sin and falling into temptation, He sympathizes with us. He does not excuse our sin, but He does have compassion for us as we struggle through our failures. A great example is Romans 5:8, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Sometimes, it is hard to view our family members with godly compassion. It requires humility, grace, and courage. Yet, as we strive to live as Jesus did, we can see the biblical call to extend compassion, even when it might be undeserved.
Reflection Question: How might seeing your family members through the compassionate eyes of Jesus change how you interact with them?
Day 2
Scriptures: Psalms 78:38, Colossians 3:13
My parents divorced when I was fifteen. I can still remember walking through the halls at school on the day the divorce papers were “final.” It was surreal. During that next year, my youth pastor walked me through the first phase of the forgiveness process. I had to choose to forgive my dad. It was not something I wanted to do, and it wasn’t something I felt he deserved, but with encouragement, I chose to be obedient.
Then I entered the long road of forgiveness from the heart. I had no control over my feelings of bitterness and resentment. Those feelings were like a ball and chain around my life that prevented me from having a meaningful ministry with my father, who did not have a relationship with Jesus. Each day, I would pray, “Lord, I have chosen to forgive my father. But I can’t get rid of these feelings of bitterness and anger. I need your help to do that. Change and heal my heart.”
This was my daily prayer for six years, and while I didn’t always recognize it, the Lord was at work, draining the swamp of my anger. Then came a morning I will never forget. It was my junior year of college, and I had an early class, around eleven a.m. I was in the bathroom, shaving, and for whatever reason, I was thinking about my dad. For the first time in a long time, the emotion that came to the surface was compassion! Normally, if my father was on my mind, compassion was nowhere to be found! But something had changed. God had answered my prayers.
My mind flooded with events from my father’s life. His mother died. His father did not want him. He had a traumatic infancy. Where do you go to find healing for these deep wounds? Jesus. He is the only one. And my father didn’t know Him. The Lord began to drain the anger and bitterness out of my heart and replace it with His compassion.
Reflection Question: Is there someone in your family whose painful life story you need to consider with compassion rather than judgment?
Day 3
Scripture: Ephesians 4:32
We not only need Christ’s compassion for our family members in situations of major conflict, but we also need His compassion in our day-to-day life. Do you ever have a bad day? Maybe you woke up “on the wrong side of the bed,” or you feel a little under the weather. When you are having “one of those days, what are you looking for from your family? Compassion! We want people to show us a little bit of understanding. “I know I’m stressed out today, please don’t freak out, cut me some slack.”
I struggle with putting this into practice with my children. When I’m having a bad day, I expect everyone to understand and give me extra grace. The reality is that everyone has bad days. But do I ever allow my children to have them? Do I give them the same respect and understanding that I expect others to give me when I am stressed, overwhelmed, or just “a little off”? I am in for a very frustrating life if I become annoyed and angry whenever one of my children or family members does something wrong. We need to ask God to give us His heart of compassion for our family members so that we are not crushed by a spirit of anger, and we can seek peace in response to conflict.
In day-to-day life, compassion looks like giving each other room to be human. It’s recognizing that your spouse might be unusually quiet because they’re processing a difficult work situation, not because they’re angry with you. It’s understanding that your teenager’s emotional outburst might be connected to friendship troubles, not disrespect. It’s giving your aging parent grace when they repeat the same story for the third time, recognizing their loneliness or memory challenges.
These small moments of compassion create an atmosphere where healing can take place.
Reflection Question: What small act of compassion could you extend to a family member today, especially one you’re finding difficult to love?
Day 4
Scripture: 2 Peter 3:9
Lindsay was fed up with Ellie. Their relationship as sisters had been rocky since childhood, and now in their thirties things were getting even worse. They did not grow up in a Christian home, but Lindsay was born again through a campus ministry in college. Over the years, both sisters had done many things to cause damage to the relationship, including large portions of jealousy, competitiveness, backstabbing, and lying.
After Lindsay became a Christian, the Lord began to help her take steps to improve the relationship with her sister. She apologized for some of the nasty things she had done. She confessed her jealousy. While Lindsay continued to struggle with some mean-spirited behavior toward Ellie, there was improvement. However, Ellie’s attitude toward Lindsay continued to worsen. At family gatherings, she either avoided Lindsay or was outright rude to her. When they did talk, it seemed as if Ellie’s top priority was to brag about her accomplishments.
Lindsay had had enough. This pattern of behavior from Ellie was unacceptable. She thought, “How can my sister treat me like this? What is her problem? Okay, so we have had our issues, but all sisters have issues. Why can’t she just try being nice to me?” That question, “What’s her problem?” kept coming into Lindsay’s mind. Her anger was growing. It was during a prayer time when she sensed the Lord breaking through and answering her question! What is Ellie’s problem? She is dead in her sins. She is not born again. She has not received forgiveness and does not have a relationship with Christ. She is acting spiritually dead because she is spiritually dead.
As the Lord convicted Lindsay of this truth, she recognized her judgmental spirit toward her sister and that she had been wrongly expecting someone who was not a believer to act like someone who was. With this vital insight, the Lord filled her heart with more compassion for Ellie. She began to pray in new ways. Instead of praying for God to “make their relationship better,” she asked the Lord to “work in Ellie’s life and bring her to faith in Christ. Use me as a light for Christ in our relationship.”
Reflection Question: How might viewing a difficult family member through the lens of their spiritual condition change your approach to them?
Day 5
Scripture: Colossians 3:12
If we want Christ’s heart of compassion for our family members, we need to ask for it. He is the one who changes our hearts. A judgmental spirit and compassion can’t occupy the same space. Consider making the following prayer a part of your daily routine for the next few weeks.
“Lord, I confess that I struggle with anger and a judgmental spirit toward _____________. Remind me that he/she is a person who has been hurt, and that some of what they do is a response to what they have experienced. Please give me Christ’s heart of compassion. Drive away any harsh or judgmental spirit in me. In the name of Jesus, amen.”
Compassion doesn’t mean we become doormats or enable destructive behavior. Rather, it means we view others through the lens of their brokenness and need for Christ. It means we remember that each person has a story that has shaped them, wounds that have marked them, and needs that drive them.
Jesus demonstrated compassion while still speaking truth. He wept over Jerusalem even as He pronounced judgment. He healed the sick while calling them to sin no more. He welcomed sinners while challenging them to change. His compassion never compromised the truth, but it always communicated love.
As we grow in compassion, we may find that our family members become more receptive to the truth. When people feel genuinely loved and understood, their defenses often lower. Ask God to fill your heart with His compassion for the difficult family members in your life. Then watch how He works through that compassion to bring about true healing and reconciliation.
Reflection Question: How might your family relationships change if you committed to praying daily for God to give you His heart of compassion for each family member? Start praying today!