A 5-day reading plan that examines key emotions experienced during the divorce process, including fear, bitterness, and forgiveness. The reader will discover that God’s Word is a powerful tool that guides us through healing and restoration as we overcome trials. Prayer, worship, and Bible reading are encouraged. After completing this study, the reader will learn to trust God’s Word as the source of individual wholeness.
Entrusted Women
Day 1
Scriptures: Psalms 34:1-4, Isaiah 43:2, Matthew 28:20
From Panic to Praise
You are in the grips of a divorce, and you are shocked. As you stumble towards an unknown future, the door of your past violently shuts behind you–SLAM! Your life as you knew it has ended, and you are forced to confront life with a million emotions attacking you all at once. Like an abandoned animal, you are forced to step into the unfamiliar without shelter.
Divorce is a painful experience packed with emotions that often consume our lives. Whether the divorce happened suddenly or after years of trying to save a marriage, every survivor is attacked with common emotions, including shock, bitterness, sadness, hopelessness, and fear. Our emotions are powerful enough to overwhelm us, and before we can take a breath, panic sets in.
During my divorce, fear became my most aggressive emotion. If I was not careful, my entire day would be filled with anxious thoughts such as the:
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of financial ruin
Fear of being ridiculed
Fear of the future
In its most aggressive state, fear quickly morphed into panic. My emotions were so intense that I believed I would never recover from the pain. As I staggered through each day in a zombie-like state, God began whispering Bible verses that redirected me to some important truths.
The first was the promise that Jesus gave His disciples before the crucifixion, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20). Like the disciples who were filled with doubt and fear, Jesus’ promise brought comfort during my moments of panic. His promise reassured me that I am not abandoned and I am never alone.
Another truth challenged me to praise the Lord always. In Psalm 34:1, King David testified that he would “constantly speak His praises.” David knew the value of continually praising the Lord; he also understood that praise generates God’s healing power.
When we praise God, fear and panic subside. We receive comfort and strength to endure emotional pain while He guards our minds and delivers us from all anxieties. Praising the Lord is vital to surviving a divorce.
Encouragement:
No matter the emotion that attacks you, cry out praises to the Father. Praise Him for His love; praise Him for His goodness. Your emotional pain will lift, you will experience God’s comfort, and your heart will move from panic to praise.
Day 2
Scriptures: Ruth 1:20-21, Ruth 4:14-15, Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15
Beyond Bitterness
Let’s face it, things can become downright ugly during a divorce, and bitterness will brutally attack anyone unprepared for battle. Unwanted words and deeds by either party can cause sour, bitter feelings to take root. And before we know it, this powerful enemy will choke our inner peace and darken our souls.
During my divorce, I experienced many cycles of ruminating over everything that went wrong in my marriage. The cycles began with me pointing my finger at others, stating all of my complaints, and remaining justified in my bitterness. Notice how many times the word, MY, appeared during these cycles. I was overtaken by my own bitterness.
In the Book of Ruth, we meet Naomi, a woman who had experienced the death of her husband and two sons. Losing a loved one through death or other circumstances (such as divorce) is devastating, and Naomi likely lived through extreme grief, worry, and hopelessness.
Naomi eventually returned to her homeland, and upon her arrival, she told the townspeople not to call her Naomi, but “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me.” (Ruth 1:20) For Naomi, ‘Mara’ symbolized the intense bitterness that she felt was from the Lord. Like Naomi, we can find ourselves walking around with the word Mara tattooed on our foreheads. However, as we experience bitterness, we must not allow bitterness to take root within us. (Hebrews 12:15)
Several chapters later, God generously provided for Naomi through her daughter-in-law, Ruth. Her blessings came at a time when she needed them the most, and she was delighted by how God had provided. Even the women in the town were overjoyed and blessed the Lord for His provision. (Ruth 4:14-15) The Lord had not abandoned His kindness after all; He was still at work in Naomi’s life.
Encouragement:
Bitterness is difficult, but God can soothe our hearts. Removing bitterness begins with our willingness to trust God, ask Him for help, and acknowledge that in both good and bad circumstances, He can rescue us from this strangling enemy.
When bitterness wanes, like Naomi, we can experience that ray of light and glean the wonderful works of God. Our willingness to return to the Lord will bring healing, restoration, and hope. When we walk in the Lord’s power, we can move beyond bitterness.
Day 3
Scriptures: Matthew 18:21-35, Luke 6:37, 2 Corinthians 3:17, 1 John 1:9
From Forgiveness to Freedom
Forgiveness should be the natural result of overcoming bitterness; however, I discovered that forgiveness is often more difficult than shedding bitterness. Forgiveness must involve an intentional release of ill feelings toward others.
During my divorce, I became extremely frustrated and enraged by various issues. My anger was so intense that forgiveness seemed impossible. I remember asking God the same question over and over again: “How can I forgive when I didn’t do anything wrong?”
God quietly reminded me that we have all hurt others, and I was no different. As little reminders of my own need for forgiveness irritated my thoughts, I found myself responding to God’s call to forgive. My mind exploded with the memory of past sermons on the subject of forgiveness. I recalled fragments of Bible verses such as, “Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37) I also vaguely remembered a parable about how Jesus had told Peter that we should forgive someone 70 times 7. (Matthew 18:21-35)
The hard truth is that I knew many Bible verses regarding forgiveness, yet I struggled to obey God’s Word. In my stubbornness, I felt justified in holding onto every wrong; however, somewhere in my pain, I knew that forgiveness was the answer. As my heart yielded to the Holy Spirit’s calling, I desperately asked God an even deeper question: “Lord, how can I do this forgiveness stuff given everything I’ve been through?”
Once again, His giant yet gentle voice spoke that the teachings of Christ were sufficient to guide me. The Lord urged me to meditate on the same verses I had previously glossed over. Meditating on God’s Word caused me to consider how Christ forgave the beatings, betrayals, and false accusations He had experienced.
When I wanted to rise up and point my finger at others, God challenged me to lift my hand to the One who forgave me; only then was I able to understand the depth of forgiveness.
Encouragement:
Jesus’ labor on the cross is the essence of forgiveness. The more I focused on Christ, the more my heart released forgiveness to others. As you consider forgiveness, I encourage you to meditate on the scriptures and pray for the strength to release whoever has hurt you. Freedom will follow, and the Holy Spirit will illuminate the areas that hold your darkest memories.
Day 4
Scriptures: Psalms 9:10, Psalms 28:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 26:3-4
Trusting and Triumphing
Throughout the divorce process, trusting others can feel impossible! Due to the many betrayals that often lead to divorce, trust seems like another open door to allow someone else to hurt us. We have all experienced situations that have caused us to lose trust in others, ourselves, and even God.
I remember being deeply shattered by a family member who leaked private details of my divorce. Hearing the gossip caused me to retreat and become silent about my family problems. As the weight of the divorce became unbearable, I confided in a trusted friend regarding my deepest hurts.
Unlike my first experience, this person respected my desire for confidentiality. We spent hours in my living room making lists, gathering ideas, and charting my new path. This person also encouraged me to trust in the Lord. How could I have forgotten about the Lord during this stressful time?
As I began to make difficult decisions, I realized that all I could do was trust the Lord. The first words in Proverbs 3:5 resonated in my heart as I silently repeated, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…trust in the Lord with all your heart.” This verse challenged me to lean NOT on my own understanding but upon the One who could cover me.
Trusting in the Lord means that we confide in, believe in, and depend on Him to guide us through life’s challenges. Only then will we recover from grief, sadness, and pain. When we trust in the Lord, we take refuge in Him to protect us from any detrimental words or deeds from others. While trusting in ourselves causes us to rely on our limitations, trusting in the Lord causes us to cling to His infinite power.
Encouragement:
In Psalm 9:10, King David stated that those who know His name trust in Him; furthermore, God will not abandon those who search for Him. When we know our Lord and trust in Him, He will provide for us in ways that seem impossible. And even though our decisions may prove difficult (such as our home, children, finances, and career), trusting in the Lord will lead to triumphing over our enemies.
Day 5
Scriptures: Psalms 100, Psalms 119:105, Hebrews 4:16, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
Journey to God
Recovering from divorce requires many intentional actions. For the Christian, prayer, praise and worship, and Bible study are essential steps along the path to healing. And just as a hiker may encounter turns and difficulties, our journey to God will also include many uncertain strides. At times, we will walk firmly toward God, and at other times, we will encounter slippery and unstable earth beneath our feet.
Because we desperately need God’s mercy and grace during a divorce, prayer is essential. Hebrews 4:16 says, “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There, we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” During my divorce, prayer sustained me and deepened my relationship with God.
Praise and worship are also powerful steps along our journey. When we praise God, we boldly remind ourselves of who He is. Worship happens when we honor and acknowledge God for who He is. I learned to sing songs about His greatness, especially when I was weary; I also reflected on how He helped me to endure the pain. Praise and worship replaced doubt and uncertainty.
Finally, God’s Word was crucial when my world felt dark and uncertain. I discovered that reading and meditating on the scriptures soothed my soul. Psalm 119:105 tells us that His Word is a lamp to guide our feet and a light for our path. With every step we take, God’s Word illuminates our passageways.
Encouragement:
As you journey through divorce, seek every opportunity to engage in prayer, praise and worship, and Bible reading. Trust in His power as you journey to God.