Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, Genesis 1:27-31

In the beginning… 👩‍❤️‍👨

When God looked at His incredible creation, He realized something was missing. Adam was incredible: a work of art, gifted, intelligent and spiritual. He was a lot like God, as he was created in the image of God. The Bible says that God summarized His creation: “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31, NIV) 

Do you know you are created in the image of God?

You are amazing, intelligent and gifted. You look like your Heavenly Father. 

But God looked at Adam and realized, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV) “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27, NKJV)

I have the point of view that we need each other. God wanted Adam to have a relationship. He planned friendships, marriages, families and business partnerships. He planned it all. 

When I first accepted Christ, I decided to start an informal club called “Bachelors ‘til the Rapture.” After a lifestyle of broken relationships, my friends and I decided we wanted only Jesus and friends. Well, that didn’t last very long. I shared my faith with a young woman, and we fell in love. We were married in less than a year, and the club disbanded. I was designed to be in a relationship with a woman. We got married after graduation and started a new life together. 

We had three children, chose two more from Africa and we now have twelve grandkids. Life is so enriched because of relationships. 

What about you? Whether you have no children or a truckload of them, whether you are single or married with kids and grandkids, you can choose relationships. They come in all forms.

Life is enriched through relationships. You can start new journeys or remain isolated. It requires risk, but it’s all worth it.

Because you’re a miracle. 

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8

All you need is love 💞

Relationships are never easy, but they are rewarding—IF they are done right. There is a right way to build healthy relationships and a wrong way.

My mentor, Dr. Richard Dobbins, once said marriage doesn’t make anyone happy—it only intensifies the state you are already in. There is no relationship that can make you happy. Relationships will only intensify the condition you are already in.

In other words, if you are happy, a good relationship will only make you happier. If you are miserable, it can only make you more miserable, fearful or angry. Good relationships only multiply what you are already living.

Are you happy? Are relationships making you happier?

I was reading the Bible yesterday morning, and I found 1 Peter 4:8: “And above all things have fervent love for one another,” (NKJV). It really made me think about every relationship I’m part of. Wow! Agape is the unconditional love we should demonstrate to everyone in our lives. The famous psychologist Carl Rogers called it unconditional positive regard. This love can build businesses, families and communities.

Do you know how to love the agape way? Have you ever been loved this way?

In 1 Peter 4:8, Peter then makes a statement about the power of love: “for love will cover a multitude of sins.” (NKJV) Do you know what that means? It means if I love the agape way, sins will be covered. Love can cover all the mistakes and mishaps in a relationship. Do you remember the Beatles lyrics, “All you need is love, love is all you need”? The Beatles were almost right. We also need skills, commitment and a clean heart…because relationships multiply.

I’m praying God will help you authentically love others. It’s the foundation of every healthy relationship. 

You were designed to give and receive this love because you’re a miracle. 

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love the one you’re with 👫

Relational health has to be based on choices, not just feelings. Popular culture often romanticizes the notion of relationships, family and love. Feelings are given the highest priority as a litmus test of any relationship. We’ve all heard statements like “If it feels good, do it”, “We fell in love”, “I just can’t forgive” or “I just don’t feel it anymore.”

Relationships are not built on feelings but on choices. Love is a choice; happiness is a choice; marriage should be a choice; careers and education should be choices.

Are your relationships based on feelings or choices? Feelings fluctuate based on thoughts and circumstances.

When I was writing today’s A Miracle Every Day, I thought about an old song I would sing as a young man. It’s written and sung by Stephen Stills: “Love the One You’re With”. The chorus goes like this: 

“Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove,

And the eagle flies with the dove,

And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey,

Love the one you’re with, (Come on)

Love the one you’re with, (Everybody just)

Love the one you’re with,

Love the one you’re with.”

It sounds so pragmatic, but it’s so true. Many people I’ve counseled think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. They fantasize about someone they work with, or they dream of romantic relationships based on soap operas.

Healthy relationships start with reality, not fantasy. It really comes down to choosing to love, to care, to forgive and to add value to someone else. Relationships need to be nurtured and fostered. They need to bring mutual love and compassion, even when things are tough. Relationships should be win-win. 

The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV)

These descriptions don’t sound like some sappy movie; they sound like a set of choices that creates a rock on which you can build strong friendships and more. I’m praying God will help you discover and choose to build healthy relationships that are mutually rewarding and caring.

Because you’re a miracle.

Scriptures: Mark 12:31, 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, John 3:16

What’s love got to do with it?

How important is love to relational success? Almost everything, I believe. I bet you were expecting me to respond with “Everything”, but that would be neither true nor realistic. I’ve seen some pretty loving people who were horrible listeners. I’ve seen some very selfish people who loved themselves but weren’t quite committed to loving others.

The Bible tells us to “Love your neighbor as yourself...” (Mark 12:31, NIV).

Do you love yourself? Do you show love to others?

Tina Turner belted out that famous tune in 1984 entitled “What’s Love Got To Do With It”. The chorus screams of someone deceived by her heart and her lover: 

“What’s love got to do with it, got to do with it,

What’s love got to do with it, got to do with it,

What’s love, but a second hand emotion.”

The 1993 biographical film entitled “What’s Love Got To Do With It” described the abuse Tina Turner experienced at the hands of her husband. Tragic, but so common. Tina was not talking about true love, the love described in 1 Corinthians 13. Real love is kind, gentle and caring. Maybe the only love she knew was lust, passion, violence or codependency.

Have you ever seen or experienced true love? Have you ever given it?

This classic verse keeps us centered on the real meaning of love: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16, NKJV) 

My sister, Elaine, reminds me most of this type of love. She gives. She’s given to others her whole life. The most notable act of giving was when she moved back to Canada to care for my mom, who was very elderly. She gave and gave and gave, and now my mom is 99 years old. 

Love is NOT a second hand emotion. It’s action, it’s giving and it’s sacrificial. 

You can love the same way. God will lead you because you’re a miracle. 

Scriptures: Proverbs 18:21, James 5:16, James 3:9

Communication can build or destroy 🏗

Communication can either build a relationship or destroy it. Healthy communication is difficult and treacherous, even for the most committed friends or couples, because it can break down. 

Proverbs 18:21 warns us about the power of our tongue: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21, NKJV) Our words can give death or life to a relationship. Our words can build up or tear down a friendship or marriage. 

Have you ever built others up with your words? Have you ever torn them down? I have. I’ve said stupid things in anger; have you? I’ve said stupid things because of fear; have you? Should I go on? The Bible says to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…” (James 5:16, NIV)

My amazing friend Adam Barta wrote a song a few years ago that will rock your world. It’s called “Speak Life”. The chorus goes like this: 

“Speak life into your separation, trials and tribulations,

Open up your mouth, and let the Healer take over,

When you’re feeling unstable, Jesus is able,

So open up your mouth, and let the Healer take over.”

If we are totally honest and transparent, we’ve all said dumb things, insensitive things, things that have hurt people and grieved the Spirit.

James the elder once said, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” (James 3:9, NIV) 

As a counselor, I’ve learned a few sentences that help me communicate better in tough times: 

• “Help me understand…”
• “In other words, I hear you saying that…”
• And perhaps the most important, “Please forgive me; I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

The Bible says a gentle answer turns away wrath. Thank God!

I’m praying God will help you by His Spirit to speak words of life, like:

• “I love you”
• “I appreciate you” 
• “I think you are incredible”
• Also good are: “I’m so sorry” and “How can I help?”

Communication can be difficult, but it all starts with one simple ingredient: a heart that’s clean and filled with love.

You’ll succeed because you’re a miracle.

Scriptures: Matthew 11:28, Ephesians 4:29

Are you adding value to relationships?

Every person I’ve ever met has needs. Whether they are billionaires, millionaires, professors, doctors, lawyers, pastors or politicians, they all have needs. The rest of the world also has needs, even normal people like you and me 😊. Maybe you are a (retired) police officer, nurse, secretary, store clerk or maybe you run your own business. It doesn’t matter who; we all have needs. Do you have needs? What are they? 

I used to be so insecure. I felt like I didn’t measure up. My focus was generally on me until God touched me, healed me and reconciled me to His love. My teachers, pastors and counselors had a huge impact on my mental health. I’m so grateful to God and to them. It may seem to some that I’ve experienced all this amazing care. You may be thinking, “Oh God, that’s unfair, why did Paul Marc receive all this special attention?” 

The answer is quite simple: I went out and pursued it. I read, prayed, memorized the Word, paid for courses, sought counseling and faithfully attended church. It’s not an accident that I became a healthy person. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NKJV) 

You can become healthy, too. Once you are healthy, you can build healthy relationships. Go out and get what you need. Don’t wait for your ship to come in; swim out and grab it. 

Okay, your new focus is personal health. Once you are healthier, you will be able to walk into a room, business or family gathering and add value. Everyone needs what you have. They need healing, love and good self-esteem. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

I’m praying you will add value to three people a day this week. Can you imagine 21 people encouraged, affirmed and inspired by your words and actions? You will no longer be looking for others to fill your tank and meet your needs. Your tank has been filled with the Spirit of God and a lot of hard work. Now you will fill their tanks. Wow! 

You are a difference maker, and you are a miracle. 

Scriptures: Matthew 13:9, 1 Corinthians 13:12

What did you say? 👂

Conflicts in relationships happen all the time, and one of the biggest culprits is our tendency to misinterpret. 

Has anyone ever misinterpreted you? You were speaking the truth in love. You were doing your best to communicate clearly with love and compassion, but the other person still got so defensive. 

Jesus would often preface a message with “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Matthew 13:9, NKJV) He knew everyone had physical ears, but they were still emotionally and spiritually deaf.

We all have the tendency to misinterpret because we all interpret through our vat. I’ve spoken about the vat in one or two of these emails. Our vat is our mind, emotions, memories, traumas and education all piled into one mishmash in our brains. We interpret everything through this mess. The Bible says, “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.” (1 Corinthians 13:12, NKJV) 

We don’t live with the facts of our lives; we live with the interpretation of the facts of our lives. So when someone speaks to you, it is automatically, unconsciously interpreted. If your heart is bitter and damaged, no one will ever be able to get through until you spend some time with the healing presence of Jesus and a good therapist. The vat is full of dirty filters that cause you to misinterpret. 

Do you have any dirty filters? Would you like to see them cleansed? Would you like to build healthy, strong relationships? 

I’m sure your answer is yes, yes and yes. So will you take a moment and ask the Holy Spirit to help you reinterpret any hurtful words or situations? God will not change your past, but He will help you to reinterpret it. You’ll be amazed at the results in your relationships.

Because you’re a miracle.