Want to be a better wife? Do you desire a better marriage? Join author Ayanna Hall as she takes a look at the attributes of true love. In this devotion, Ayanna will equip you with practical ways to put that love into action while helping you draw closer to God and your husband. You and your marriage will never be the same!Entrusted Women
Day 1
Scripture: Ephesians 4:2
True Love is Patient
Patience is a virtue that is important in our everyday lives. As a wife, one of the easiest things for us to do, often without thinking, is lose our patience. We assume our husbands should know what buttons not to push or what things may upset us. We also expect them to know what we want or how to draw us closer to them. When they do not, it is easy to lose patience and either lash out or draw away.
In loving our husbands well, we must show an extra measure of gentleness and patience. If we look back, our husbands have likely grown to know more of our wants and needs over time. However, they have not and will not attend to them perfectly.
Thus it is essential to become a more self-aware woman and wife. In marriage, lovingly exercising patience requires us to take a proactive approach to both managing and being willing to talk about our buttons, wants, and needs. We must keep in mind that patiently loving our husbands well is less about what they do and more about how we react to them.
We need to remember that patience is the key to loving our husbands well and growing as a wife. Patience also gives us room to continue to grow as individuals and as a couple, regardless of what buttons get pushed or not.
What is the one button your husband often pushes, and you wish he did not? How could you show better patience and grace when he does?
Prayer
Lord, I know I am not without faults, and I pray that you cover those faults as only you can. Please give me the patience and the grace to love my husband well and in the ways he needs. Amen.
Day 2
Scripture: Proverbs 31:26
True Love is Kind
We have to recognize that our words have power, both the words we speak to others and our words over ourselves. In marriage, it is so important to be loving in the words we use and how we use them. During the mundane moments, like asking our husbands to take out the trash, or the stressful moments, when we may be at odds and seeking resolution, it may be hard to use loving words.
Not all conversations are pleasant, and sometimes it seems like we have the same conversation over and over. Yet, as wives, we are to speak in love and with kindness in all conversation. Our words can provide comfort, healing, instruction, and direction. However, our words can also cut deep, hurt, diminish, and cause division.
Speaking in love is often a lot easier said than done, but it all comes back to making a choice. God gives us all the power of choice, including our words. He provides us with the ability, as wives, to use our words to show love, care, and patience.
Taking time to self-check our thoughts and words and submit them to God will help us to make sure the words we speak come from a place of love and kindness. Words are one of the few things that cannot be taken back. Therefore, ensuring the words we speak contain love, light, and kindness is one of the best gifts we can give our husbands. It also helps our growth as women and wives.
What thoughts do you have or words you want to speak to your husband that you need to submit to God? In what ways could you speak life and love to your husband today, either in the mundane or complex?
Prayer
God, let the words from my mouth and the thoughts in my mind be both pleasing to You and uplifting to my husband. In times of both celebration and struggle, may I speak from a place of love, kindness, and grace. Amen.
Day 3
Scripture: Colossians 3:12
True Love Is Forgiving
Lack of forgiveness in so many relationships, especially marriage, can keep us stuck and not moving forward. Unforgiveness also affects our ability to love our husbands well.
Often forgiveness is so hard because we often confuse it with forgetting. The severity and types of offenses in marriage vary and are not always one-time occurrences. These are not easily forgotten. Yet, in marriage, we have to choose to forgive the things that may be hard to ignore – both the little and big things – to truly love our husband well.
Forgiveness is a decision that can be made in a moment, while reconciliation and building back trust is a process that takes time. We have to submit to God and allow Him to soften our hearts, clear our minds, and change our focus. A softened heart is open and willing to love our husbands despite their faults and forgive what we cannot forget. We need to clear our minds from the constant thoughts and reminders of the offense. With both our hearts and minds focused on drawing closer to God while taking all the opportunities to love our husbands better despite their faults.
What is something you may be holding onto that you need to forgive your husband for?
Prayer
God, thank you for forgiving me and always being there despite my missteps. I pray that You give me the heart and mind to forgive my husband for things I may be holding against him. And give me opportunities to gain the reconciliation and build the trust needed for me to grow in my love and care for my husband. Amen.
Day 4
Scripture: Proverbs 11:25
True Love Is Generous
Giving is something that, for so many wives, comes naturally. However, over time we can find ourselves giving so much and feeling like we are getting nothing in return. This can cause us to pull back and give less, especially in marriage. Having a generous heart is such a blessing, yet your heart can become weary over time when it does not receive much back in return, even a simple ‘thank you” or “I appreciate you.”
In those times, we have to remember we are called to be generous as an act of love, not for what we can get in return. We give generously of our time, prayers, and bodies intimately, not out of obligation, but out of the desire to love and care for our husbands in seen and unseen ways. Most importantly, we must remember that God knows our hearts and sees us. Even if your generosity goes unnoticed by your husband, it is not unseen by God.
How have you been generous to your husband in the past? What is one thing you can do for or give your husband today that would be unexpected and show your love for him?
Prayer
Lord, thank you for loving us first and showing us what true generosity looks like. I pray that You continue to grow in me a heart and desire to be generous towards my husband and to love him well. Amen.
Day 5
Scripture: Romans 15:13
True Love is Hopeful
Hopeful is something that I know we already are, and it may not always be easy to see. You may have been filled with hope when you picked up this devotional and started on day 1. You may be hopeful of becoming a better wife and finding more ways to love your husband well. This hope will help strengthen and grow us as wives in our marriages.
This hope also draws us closer to God and our husbands. It further equips us to love our husbands well. Another essential aspect of hope is revealed in 1 Corinthians 13, which many call the love chapter. This hope is not based on fantasy or what may never be but rooted in the truth, promise, and beauty of how God created us and our marriages.
However, our hope should not just live in our hearts and minds. It should be spoken and shared. In the act of faith and confidence, we must share our hopes with our husbands and God. It is a way for us to put our faith and love into action. We are showing both God and our husbands our hearts in a real and vulnerable way and choosing to trust them with it.
What are three hopes you have for your marriage? Take some time today to share them with God and your husband.
Prayer
Lord, thank you for giving me the gift of hope. May I constantly be reminded that you are the source of my hope and that I can confidently share my hope with you and my husband. Amen!
Day 6
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
True Love Is Expressive
Over the past five days, we cannot help but see that love is so much more than a feeling. Love is something that we do. We have to express love with our words and actions, whether with big gestures or little everyday actions. Love is a daily choice to express our love in ways that can be seen and felt.
The beautiful thing about love and its expression is that it is demonstrated in many unique ways. God created our husbands and us differently, making our marriages one of a kind. Often as a wife, it is so easy to get caught up in trying to do, be, and express love like someone else. This causes us to forget that being the best wife means doing so in a uniquely beautiful way that shows our husbands love in a meaningful way to them.
Loving our husbands well is also about not always needing to find new ways to love them but remembering and doing the things that are meaningful to you both. Take a moment to travel down memory lane to remember the good times. Do not stop there. Write them down so you can remember them.
Choose to embrace your individuality as a woman and as a wife daily. Acknowledging the beautiful ways you express your love to your husband is necessary for you to love your husband well today and for years to come.
What is one thing that makes you unique as a wife? Looking down memory lane, what was one thing you loved doing for or with your husband when you were dating?
Prayer
Lord, thank you for creating my husband and me in such intentional and beautiful ways. Please continue to show me ways to embrace our uniqueness and opportunities to express love to my husband as he wants to be loved. Amen.
Day 7
Scripture: Galatians 6:9
True Love Perseveres
The journey to becoming better wives, loving our husbands well, and having healthy, strong, and joy-filled marriages is not about a destination. It is about making a daily choice, just like taking this 7-day devotional journey. We have to choose daily to take one step at a time towards becoming better wives and creating better marriages. At the same time, we have to remember any journey, especially lifelong journeys, take commitment and perseverance.
Perseverance is key to our journey as wives and choosing to love our husbands well daily. This is especially true when things do not go according to plan. It requires us to stay committed to not giving up or turning away when things are hard. Even when we are not feeling the love and appreciation we desire. Loving well requires us to stay committed to doing what is best, right, and loving while sowing good seeds in our lives and marriages. Seeds that God sees and will grow fruitfully.
Trust that we can persevere and be fruitful because we already have been. We are married today because we have persevered through all the days before today since saying “I do,” sowing seeds all along the way. Not all of those days have been easy, but we should not take our commitment and perseverance lightly. We have sown seeds of peace, care, and kindness in our marriages. It has been seen In the kind words spoken, the loving gestures, and in taking care of our homes.
Continue to stay focused. Commit to persevere, not simply endure, but pour into your marriage, sowing and cultivating good fruit.
What good seeds have you sown into your marriage that has resulted in good fruit? What are you committing to sow into your marriage today?
Prayer
God, continue to give me the heart, strength, and willingness to persevere and sow good seeds in my life and marriage. Please open my eyes to the fruitfulness already there. Guide me to areas and ways I can continue cultivating faithfulness in my life and marriage. Amen.